***Actual Hogan Quote July 29, 2005

That crazy Hulk. You know, he would have called his show the Hogan Family, but Sandy Duncan threatened to break her foot off in his ass. That's VH1 stuff, though. Tonight is Spike TV time and Vince McMahon has an announcement. What is it? John Cena will meet Carlito Cool. Who will win? Andre the Giant weighs a billion pounds. Who will slam him? Well, that one was answered years ago when the heroic Hulk did so in Detroit. Amen. Now, let's find out what the deal is for Summerslam, shall we? Train, say your prayers, take your vitamins, send James Guttman money, and read the Raw Insanity. It's Yellow. It's Red. It's Monday. It's Raw.

Last week's Raw rehearsal:

Maria: Hey Chris Jericho. How's Fozzy? Are the rest of the Muppets coming? Hee hee.

Chris Jericho Yeah, that's funny, jerky. That's not the first time I heard that joke.

Maria: So? It still doesn't explain why you named your band after a f**kin' Muppet. Fozzy Bear has been around since the 70s. How long has your band been around for? Yet, you look at me like I'm the stupid one for repeating a lame joke? You named your rock band after a puppet with a bowtie. Spare me, bitchboy.

Y2J hath arrived to start of Monday Nitraw. Last week, we showed John Cena to be a punk ass with no rap skills. In fact, you might remember that JC was beaten at the hands of Carlito. Who was the ref for that match? Guess. Go on. Guess. It was Chris Jericho! That's who! Let's look at the footage. Waka waka waka!

Footage of: Chris Jericho helping Carlito defeat the WWE Champion. If only someone would do that for Jericho.

People boo and Jericho eggs them on. He calls Cena a "brown-nosing thug." He also refers to John's balls as "plums." Disturbing. I ain't eating plums anymore. On the word "plums," Thuggyplum McDougal popped out of the crowd an started to whale on Jericho. With a barrage of punches rocking the King of Bling Bling, Cena was quickly rushed by fake security guards at Eric Bischoff's behest. They are separated and a screaming Bischoff announces that tonight's match between Carlito and the WWE Champ will be reffed by none other than...Chris Jericho! Uh oh! What's that Cheap Brown-nosing Plumpoop gonna do now?

Still to come: John Cena meets Carlito with the WWE Title on the line. Then we get Crazy Ol' Vince McMahon and a big announcement. Also, career highlights from Shawn Michaels! Something tells me that footage of Shawn when he was a Rocker and had incredibly poofy lady-hair will be kept to a minimum.

Commercial Break. You drink Gatorade and then sweat fluorescent colors? What do they put in it? Plutonium?

Gene Snitsky and Chris Masters continue to condense bad segments on Raw by teaming together. They arrive at the ring and await their opponents.

Hey Shelton.

Hey Big Show.

(1) Big Show & Shelton Benjamin defeated Chris Masters & Gene Snitsky when Show pinned Snitsky This match was nine hours long. It was insane. There's something seriously wrong with the whole set up. Shelton should not be involved in this group feud. He's above it, to be honest. It's transitions like this that have killed former title holders. When a wrestler loses a championship, his next feud can either make or break him. This ain't good. So they pair the former long time IC Champion with a guy that they've been trying to get over for years. I'm not a big Show fan, but it's sort of ridiculous that they can't get a 7'2 monster over for a sustained period of time. What type of message does that send to Johnny "Send em's to me big" Ace and Vince? They want big wrestlers, but they can't get over the biggest one on the payroll. Flip sides and have you have a guy who was on his way to being a top level goofy heel and shove him with the muscle kid that got Luger's old entrance. What was the point? Just as Gene started to get some level of acceptance as an upper mid car guy, they put him on team-with-the-newbies duty? (Gene Snitsky Note: Chris Masterscis not my fault!) The loss was his fault, though. It was Biggie Showtime slamming the Babykiller to the mat with a choke slam and scoring the 1,2,3. Ah, long and pointless. Just like Grandma used to make.

Last week Eugene won the Kurt Angle Invitational. Now, he has them Golden Medals around his neck. The first round of the Eugene Invitational takes place tonight! Jerry Lawler "can't believe it, but it's next."

Commercial Break.

Eugene Dinsmore has some gold medals and he's joined by his $250,000 cheerleader Christy Hemme. He looks down and asks her if he can play with her pom-poms. It's funny because he means her cheerleader pom-poms, but "pom-poms" is slang. It meanscbreasts! You know, like boobies! Boobies! Ah! Ha ha ha! He asked if he could play with her pom-poms! Aha ha ha! Oh, Eugene. When will you ever learn? Let's bring out the hometown hero.

The Reason Why Kurt Angle Is The Way He Is Today:

Mr. and Mrs. Angle, thank you for joining me today. As you know, we've removed your son Kurt's third grade teacher from our premises. I don't mean to alarm you, but apparently Mr. Johansson was tying all the children to their desks and beating them with a leather belt. The whole time, he was holding up the True or False quizzes they had all just taken and screaming "It's true! It's true!" Now, Kurt seems to be OK. He's a little shaken and repeating "It's true." Although, according to our school psychologist, your son seems intent on shaving off his hair and having bestiality sex. You might want to get him checked out by a professional.

Kurt Angle is in the hizzy, people. He's come to take the role of hometown hero. There's some banter between him and Eugene over the validity of Kurt's residence at the Mohegan Sun Casino. How can he be a hometown hero if he's from Pittsburgh? This ain't Pittsburgh! Well, screw that, Dinsmore. Kurt is answering your challenge because there ain't no heroes from the Mohegan Sun. With that, we cue the Indian from Pembroke, North Carolina.

Yiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyi! Turn that crap down! I know it's my music, but it's so damn loud! Ah! What!? Get off the lawn! You kids, get off the goddamn lawn! I'm gonna go watch my stories.

(2) Eugene defeated Tatanka via disqualification in the Eugene Invitational Tatanka arrives and he's not as old as I'm making him out to be. He is older than he was in 1994, which he should be. It's crazy though, as I feel like it was just yesterday that he was doing the Million Dollar Corporation thing, teaming with Bam Bam Bigelow. 11 years is a long time. Jim Ross said that Tatanka had no ring rust. (JG Note: At that exact moment, a bolt of lightning came crashing through the roof of the Mohegan Sun and struck him in the head.) Everything aside, it was good to see Chris Chavis get his time playing the retro-star spot of the show (a.k.a. "the Piper.) Having been featured prominently in WWE for less than four years, Tatanka was big at a time that business wasn't exactly booming. He had a great amount of potential and was the next big thing for a year or so. My all time favorite Tatanka moment involved an appearance by the WWF on Family Feud. When asked to name something that gets better with age, Chavis said "Cheese? Milk?" Ray Combs replied, "Milk does not get better with age." Crazy. He also referred to pimples as "Acme." Anyway, back to 2005. Chavis lost by DQ after Kurt Angle ran in with half a minute to go and attacked a sure-to-win Eugene. This prompted Tanka to turn on Angle and join Dinsmore in pounding him. Good to see you, Chris Chavis. Count yourself lucky. WWE could have had the Diva Search contestants dress up like Cowboys and play Indian Poker against you for 20 minutes. As far as old school nostalgia appearances go, you got one of the better assignments.

Commercial Break. Mark Wahlberg stars in "Four Brothers." In the movie, he and three of his brothers extract revenge for their mother. They should have gotten Donnie for this movie. He could have sung Hanging Tough until the bad guy's ears exploded and then set fire to the hotel he was in.

Kurt Angle's pissed off backstage when Todd Grisham stops him. He makes the mistake of calling the Gold Medals Eugene's instead of Kurt's. Your Olympic Bestiality Boy goes wild and makes the challenge for next week in Pittsburgh.

Last week: Kane tombstoned Lita on the metal aisle way. None of this will matter after the next 15 minutes anyway. This segment is meaningless. You might as well do something else to occupy your time. How about a joke? I'll tell you a joke. OK. How about this? What has four legs and no ears? Mike Tyson's dog. Ha ha. You like it? No? Well go to hell.

In the Leather Couch Room, Chris Jericho and Carlito discuss John Cena's fate. He's not cool. Cena ain't cool at all. The gist of all this is to reinforce that Y2J is on Cool's side in the main event. Bischoff arrives and instructs them to concoct a plan that will see John drop the title. He says that they can't leave his office until they do so. You know, isn't Eric the General Manager? Can't he just strip Cena of the title? Can't he put him in a handicap title match against 25 people? I never understood why the authority figures struggle so hard to take the belts off the people they hate. They bring up Bret Hart all the time. Vince took the belt off of him with no problem and bragged about it on TV. He couldn't do that to Steve Austin? Bischoff can't do that to Cena? Speaking of Vince...

Mr. McMahon's here and he has an announcement! It's a major one! Will it be a huge let down or will it be...a huge letdown? Stay tuned.

Commercial Break. Hey Billy, wanna trade lunches? I'll give you my Chicken Fries for your Cow Balls. How about it? No backsies.

Vince McMahon has arrived and he's got something on his mind. Mr. McFunnyWalk takes the microphone and stands center ring in his shiny yellow tie. He has a big announcement and you know that's it got to be good. Well, you hope it is, at least.

Vinnie starts us off by talking about how far Raw has come since it's debut. He says that it began in the Manhattan Center in front of a "capacity crowd of 1200 people." (JG Note: OK, we have to call bullsh*t right here. He painted it out like WWE was a struggling company at Raw's inception. He made it out like the promotion had grown ten fold since the first episode. That's ridiculous. It was supposed to be a small setting. That was Raw's gimmick. Superstars and Challenge tapings took place in big arenas. There were 1200 people there because there was only supposed to be 1200 people there. This was almost six full years after 80 thousand million hundred billion people watched Hogan-Andre. Talk about taking poetic license in presenting your company's history.) Well, tonight is the 636th edition of Raw. That means it passes any TV show for most episodes. I don't have time to check the exact numbers or anything. I'll just accept it. I tend to not believe most of the things that this company says, so it's easier to just accept the little things and only question the big ones. For no other reason other than to save myself time. On that note, Mr. McMahon gets cheap heat without taking out his little Hulkster by saying that he and he alone is to thank for this Raw milestone. He says that he always does what's best for business. He hired a son-of-a-bitch like Eric Bischoff from WCW. He gave new life to a dead company like ECW. Now he's gone out and buried the hatchet with someone that left the promotion. It's someone who's been on the outside looking in. Who is it? (JG Note: At this point, I'm still hoping it's Brock Lesnar, thus making his announcement a genuine big deal) However, as time goes on, we realize that the man he's talking about is Matt Hardy. Yup. Good ol' Mattitude will face Edge at Sumemrslam. That's the big announcement. Great.

Matt Hardy's here and he's looking more and more like a WWE main eventer physique-wise every day. It's amazing how these guys just naturally get bigger when they get pushed harder. Must be some sort of cosmic physiological anomaly. Anyway, Version Take Two is back and he's ready to kill the kayfabe.

He starts off by thanking the fans, which you have to do if you're a Babyface. So, Matt's a Babyface. Mark that down. He's good. OK. From there, he tells us the story. This is where things go awry.

- Matt had a relationship with Amy "Lita" Dumas.

- Her and Kane were only pretend married on TV. In reality, she came home to Matt Hardy.

- One day, Matt learned that she was cheating on him with Edge.

He said all that. He told that story. In other words:

- Wrestling's fake.

- All of this is fake!

- Fake! Kane's a fake! I'm a fake! Lita's fake! Order my fake-ass match at Summer Fake '05!

I hate this. The whole thing is horrible. We have to tell the audience that Kane and Lita was all pretend? Why? Why get people involved in a story you've concocted, only to rub their noses in the fact that it wasn't real? Why? This was one of the worst things WWE could have done. It was a huge gamble and will most likely be something they'll regret. Kane's totally screwed now. We basically learned that he was playacting for a year. Sure, we knew, but we didn't need WWE to tell us this. What the hell were we watching for?

From there, Babyface Matt lead a somewhat apathetic crowd in a We Want Matt chant that seemed extremely forced - especially at such an early stage of his reintroduction. He talked about the Matt Hardy movement. Then - get this - our hero wished that "Adam Copeland" would die in a car accident. It was very weird. He ended by promising that "Matt Hardy would not die." We all die, Matt. You watch too many Twilight Zone episodes.

Here's some questions. Hey Angelic Diablo, if you hate Adam so much, why are you working with him? I mean, if my best friend got with my live-in girlfriend and "ruined my chances at having a family," I wouldn't agree to work with him, even if there was a ton of money involved. I guess it's all about money. That's cool, I suppose. Then again, it's also not real. You can use all the real names you want. You can kill Kane's character with a five minute promo. It still doesn't change the fact that this story and match are as scripted as a Boogeyman vignette. It's simply a storyline that undercuts other storylines in the process. It's counterproductive and has long-term disaster written all over it. I'm still having bad flashbacks of that Buff Bagwell-DDP mess. Now it's your turn. One medicocre angle that needs to kill the believability of another angle in order to get over. Good stuff, guys. Good stuff.

Commercial Break. There's a new show called Dirty Jobs. That's great. Just what the world needs. They need to come home from their crappy jobs and watch TV shows of people doing crappy jobs. Is there any entertainment left in the world? Whatever happened to Alf and Mr. Belvedere? We get people cleaning sewers and call it primetime TV.

Kerwin White meets up with Vince McMahon backstage. KW expresses interest in joining one of McMahon's country clubs, but Mac tells Kerwito that he can't relate to him since he's a billionaire while White is simply middle-class. On that note, he leaves. I feel like Kerwin White is the new Simon Dean of Raw. He's the gimmick that meets everyone backstage, never wrestles, and has zero chance at selling anything to anyone ever. Always good to have gimmicks like that on the show, eh?

Cue Val Venis.

Ha ha.

(3) Rob Conway pinned Val Venis after the Ego Trip OK, stop. You have got to be kidding me. What the hell? Rob Conway is dressed like the gay leather biker from the Blue Oyster in the Police Academy movies. I keep expecting Proctor to run in and do the Tango with him. I'm not exaggerating either. You know how sometimes Triple H will wear the purple trunks and I'll be like "Oh, he has girly trunks on." Well, this isn't like that. This is full-blown gay leather biker attire. It isn't a joke. If I wasn't told that his gimmick was that of a "Con Man," I'd think it was Mr. Slave from South Park. Just what the Coach needs - another pseudo-homoerotic character to hold him down and thrust during filler segments. This match was so bad that the one guy ten rows up who was chanting "boring" by himself could be heard during most of the match. The highlight of this thing was Coachman asking JR if he knew what Venis rhymed with. When he didn't know, John told him. It was Meanness! Oh Coach, you silly bitch. The crowd starts to chant "This Match Sucks," as it comes to a close. Robby Resistance set up Valerie on the top rope in a slingshot suplex position, he then rolled him over with a twist. Three seconds later, Mr. Slave is your winner. Someone cue Leatherboy's bad music.

Still to come: Old clips of Shawn Michaels. How sad is it when the most exciting thing on this show is the promise of old Michaels footage?

Commercial Break. Wrangler jeans have new fits. Who needs new fits? Give me a button fly and some hyper color and I'm happy.

We go down to Shawn Michaels parodying Hulk Hogan on the Larry King Show. This is the much promised footage. It looks like the set they used for the old Huckster skits of the 90s. Shawn is dressed like Hulk and proceeds to use his character as a way to take jabs at the reality star's age and ego. He says that he's 102 years old and living on borrowed time. With that, Shawn exposes Hollywood as a backstage politician with a stinging commentary.

"Are you kidding, brother? I love (the wrestling.) It's in my blood, brother. It's also in my knee, brother. In my hip, brother. But I just can't seem to shake it. If I shake too hard, brother, it's gonna be in my back. Do you know what I mean, brother?cI got news for you, Larry brother. It's not hold old you are, it's how old you fell, brother. And I feel 157, brother."
               - Shawn "Hogan" Michaels

We then go to "Battle Creek, Michigan" for a call. I think it was coincidental that Battle Creek is where Rob Van Dam is from. He doesn't fit in with Hogan at all. He was f**ked over by Hunter, not Hogan. He was screwed by the new generation, brother. Anyway, caller asks about when Hulk will come back to Battle Creek.

From there, Shawn goes on about how Hulk doesn't work small towns. He shortchanges the live audience. He doesn't even care about the fans. Let's take a look at Shawn Michaels, "Hulk." Fake Larry King cues the video.

Propaganda Piece on Shawn Michaels. As predicted, very little fruity Rocker footage. It finishes with HBK's attack on Hogan, so at least it had a happy ending.

We come back and Kid Heartbreak goes on the attack. He says that Hoagie never gave his all anywhere accept for the big venues. He says that Hollywood lived by the philosophy that once the people were in the arena, the money was already out of their pockets. Meanwhile, Michaels gave people their money's worth. Shawny then goes loopy, calls Larry "Gene," loses his wig, and goes on a rampage. It should be noted that Michaels was funny in his role, but came off a bit weird in that he ended the initial part of the segment by falling to the ground and holding his back in pain, as if to mock Hulk. Meanwhile, he was the one with the back problems for years. It's as if a kid with one leg made fun of you for having your leg in a cast.

He then knocks King with a Superkick and approaches the camera with his mustache still attached. The Dude with Attitude tells the Hulkster that he's got his reality show. However, at Summerslam, he's going to have to face some reality. With that, he kicks the camera man. Come on, Shawn. Reality? Matt Hardy already told us that this was all fake. This was a strange and poorly booked segment all around. There's no reason to tell your audience legitimate bad things about the guy they're cheering the loudest for. As long as Hulk Hogan doesn't kill, rape, or rob someone, he has every right to be on top if the people like him. Why sabotage his pop when it just puts money in your World Wrestling Pockets? That's not how you push a Babyface. All that considered, Shawn did a great job with the part he was playing and has gotten his character somewhat on track. The serious ending was a good way to close this one out.

Commercial Break. Nike - Just Do It. Just do what? I'm gonna assume they mean, "Just Steal Our Sneakers." OK. No problem, Nike. Thanks!

It's time for the Ringrat Diva Search. We eliminate Summer and try to get on with our lives.

It's time for jousting with big mallets! Yup. Better yet, this week's train wreck is hosted by Rob Schneider. Deuce Bigelow repeated his You Can Do It Line and appeared to be genuinely entertained by all this. Yes. That's it. You know how people say that these segments appeal to the lowest common denominator? We always say "Who are the people that like this?" We found him. Yes, my friends. Rob Schneider is the lowest common denominator. I would have given anything if during the entire jousting contest he just kept saying, "Eliz-abeth. Mak-ing cop-ies. Al-right. Ley-la. The Nip-Slip Girl. Nipatollah! Nipples!" Instead he just warned everyone that they might be distracted by his boner. Sadly, Kirk Cameron's friend from Growing Pains never arrived and we had to sit through a mess of a contest that kept ending in ties. Finally, after some painful moments, Elizabeth won and the Lowest Common Denominator named her the winner and then took her off for some sex. He phrased it in some cutsie way, but the gist was that he was going to take her off for some boot knocking. How wonderful - nailing Rob Schneider. That poor girl is sure going to have to work for a chance at that quarter mil, huh?

Jim Ross intros a video package of the rivalry between Carlito and John Cena. I immediately thought that this was a great move. After all, they have such history together on Smackdown. It's about time WWE started showing old clips of that conflict to push the main event match. For once, I was impressedc.

cthen the video started and only included recent clips and focused mostly on Chris Jericho's involvement. Look, I know I'm not Vince McMahon and I know I'm not a wrestling promoter millionaire. People say it all the time. They say that we shouldnft second-guess the way Vince McMahon sells his product. Well, I am. They could have made the main event mean so much more by showing the Smackdown issues between Cool and John. You could still show Y2J's inclusion in the video, just show the history between the two fighting. It could only help everyone involved. To not show it is lazy and does a disservice to a main event that could be presented as a big deal match between two young names on the roster. Instead, it's just another setup-for-Sumemrslam match with a predictable ending. Why? What's the point? To keep the focus on Sumemrslam by taking away from the top match on tonight's Raw? If that's the case, then they win. Congrats, WWE. You under whelmed me. I'm not excited about your main event. Way to go.

Commercial Break. Optimum Online asks if I deserve a reward. Yes I do, Optimum. I deserve free internet. Hook me up.

Next week: Eugene faces Kurt Angle in an Invitational. Also, Hulk Hogan meets Shawn Michaels face to face! By announcing two segments for next week, I realize that this show is almost over and has been one of the most disappointing in a long time. So far my favorite part has been Shawn Michaels's segment and I didn't even like it all that much. Says a lot.

(4) WWE Champion John Cena pinned Carlito after the F-U I can't believe how long it took for John Cena's presence on Raw to feel like same-old, same old. I remember thinking about how weird it would be to see John wrestling on the Monday Night brand. That seems like so long ago, right? It was like two months ago! He's on Raw, feuding with someone that WWE can't settle on a solid direction for, facing someone he's already fought in a string of set-up matches. So far, Cena on Monday is like Cena on Thursday. The only difference is that "Cheap" has replaced "Poop" as the stupid word he faces ridicule for saying. Carlito is another one that has hit the wall since he appeared on the show. Sure, he's got the IC belt and is featured stronger than Cena is, but Carlito is still mired in the same limbo that he faced on Smackdown. He has yet to score a full blown feud, instead glopping onto other conflicts like Angle-Hogan and Jericho-Cena. His one nemesis, Shelton Benjamin, didn't even focus on Sideshow Carl fully after losing his IC belt to him. What gives? Things appeared fair and good until the Thuganomics Doctor had Coolio down for a certain win. Jericho refused to count and found himself jumped by the WWE Champ. Cool went on the attack on all hell broke loose. Bischoff ended up bonked in the head. CJ was knocked to the floor. Cena hit the F-U and another ref ran down to count three. Cheap Poop, everyone! The Champ is here!

Following the bell, Chris jumped John and held his cheeks tenderly while staring into his eyes. (JG Note: No clue what he was going for there, but it looked like David on Six Feet Under right before he kisses Keith. Never good to try and make out with your opponent before a big pay-per-view, Lionheart. Just saying, man. Just saying. ) He tossed The C Man down and then proceeded to beat him like a redheaded government mule about the ringside area. The brutal attack ended when Jericho locked a bloody JC in the Walls of Jericho while Eric Bischoff slapped him. We fade to black as Uncle Eric and Cousin Chris leave the scene with Johnny's silly spinning title. I can't believe I'm still awake.

All in all...So wrestling's fake, right? Kane and Lita were only pretending to be married and have issues and stuff. That was all just acting. However, Edge versus Matt Hardy at Summerslam is real? I don't get it. I hate worked shoots. They kill companies. It's the one line that shouldn't be crossed. It's a gray area that can be nudged, but when crossed so blatantly, it hurts everything.

Think about it. This is Raw's landmark episode, right? It's a big deal. You better knock a year off of that time frame, Mr. McMahon. Why? Well, Matt Hardy basically told us that the last year or so has been complete bull. Kane and Lita weren't really married. It was acting. What?!

I know. I know. How else is WWE going to reintroduce Matt? I have an idea. How about not reintroducing Matt at all. How about letting the real stay real. Otherwise it makes your whole product seem stupid and fake. That's what it did tonight. It's one thing to do a tongue-in-cheek worked shoot. "Oh, we can't talk about Matt Hardy, King." It's another to blow kayfabe straight to hell and say that the on-air product is play acting. "Amy Dumas came home to me at night." It doesn't help the show and kills the continuity. It's like Hardy unraveled some big thread and all of Raw came undone in one promo. We all know it's fake, but while it's on the air, it should be real. Even if you break from that, you should think of clever ways to make it fit into the fantasy world of wrestling. Hardy's feud with Edge should be presented in another way.

Perhaps Lita was running to Matt on the side, trying to think of ways to get away from Kane. Perhaps something that could still make the on-air feud seem real. Instead WWE told their marks how they were being grifted. Carnies never did that. You know why? Because then the marks stop giving them money. No one wants to pay for things that the salesmen tells them up front are completely false.

"Con Man" Rob Conway does things the Con Way. I have a better idea for a gimmick. How about Con Wasted. That's what's being done by putting him in this gimmick. It's one of the worst characters I've ever seen WWE think up. Quick note to WWE creative: That's not what a conman looks like. If the idea came from the biker at the Blue Oyster in Police Academy, then I have some news for you. That guy wasn't supposed to be a con man.

I dig the Eugene thing, I guess. It has legs. Tonight's segment wasn't overly great. It wasn't supposed to be a show stealer. Matt Hardy was. As I mentioned, I hated the show stealer.

The HBK thing was my second favorite part of Raw and I didn't even like it that much. That and Cena-Cool's in-ring showing gave tonight most of it's luster. I hate saying that. The company is burning down creatively around Vince McMahon and he's playing the fiddle on Spike TV. What the hell is going on? How can someone who was responsible for WrestleMania 1 and 3 and the Attitude Generation and Rock-n-Wrestling and all that look at shows like this and say, "That's good TV." It boggles my mind and really makes me wonder if Vinnie Mac stopped caring, stopped trying, or simply stopped knowing how to put on good wrestling shows. Either way, it is what it is. Tonight's Raw was terrible. I regret watching it.

Sorry, guys. You may have liked it, but I can't get past killing the storylines of past shows to get over the current one. It makes me feel as though I wasted time following the entire Lita-Kane saga. I mean, we know itfs fake, but they shouldn't say so. The one place that talk like that should be off-limits is Raw. Let the internet "kill the business" by "giving away the magic." You guys just tell me stories and sell me tickets.

Thanks for reading. See you guys next week!