-

Michael Hayes:  What about the Freebirds?

-

Hunter:  What?  Why the hell are you here?

Hayes:  I went to get a soda and got lost.

-

Hunter:  I love that story.  Davey Boy, can you escort P.S. Hendrix the hell out of here please?

-

Batista:  Why soy-ten-ly!

-

Batista pushes Michael Hayes out the door and begins to welcome the applicants into the room

-

Ric Flair:  Please stand on the big letter H and state your name and character.

-

Hurricane:  My name is Hurricane Helms.  I'm a superhero.

-

Hunter:  OK.  We can work with that.  What type of superpowers do you have?

-

Hurricane:  Hmmmm.  Superpowers, huh?  Uh….well, I, uh, I have green hair.

-

Hunter:  Really?  Green, huh?  That's, uh, well, that's certainly, uh….thanks for stopping by.  Next!

-

Batista runs up to the front of the line and stands on the H

-

Batista:  Yes, my name is Dave Batista.

-

Hunter:  Dave, you're already in Evolution.

-

Batista: (excited)  Yes!  I knew it!  Thank you!  Thank you!  I won't let you down!

-

Batista runs through the room, jumping up and down

-

Flair:  I worry about him sometimes.  Let's call in the next guy.

-

Jeff Jarrett:  The name's Jeff Jarrett.  That's J-E-haha-double F - J-A-double R-E-double T.  That's Jeff Jarrett.

-

Hunter:  Didn't my ex pin you?

-

Jarrett:  Haha.  Listen up, Slapnuts.  If you've seen my work in TNA, you know that you and I are meant to work together.

-

Hunter:  Now I know you're full of it.  T & A was Test and Albert.  There was no Jeff Jargess, or whatever your name is.

-

Jarrett:  No, no, no.  TNA as in Total Nonstop Action.  It's a wrestling company.  We have a TV show.

-

Hunter:  Right.  Nice try.  Take your white jeans and get out of here.  Next! 

-

John Heidenreich:  Hei-den-reich!

-

Hunter:  Next!

-

Eugene:  My name is Eugene Dinsmore.  I'm currently on Raw.

-

Hunter:  Wow, you are sooooo five minutes ago.  Next!

-

Ultimate Warrior: I know, you're thinking this can't be true -- no way, NO WAY! The real thing? No freaking way!  Who am I? My name is Warrior. And I am the Creator, Owner, and Performer of The One and Only Ultimate Warrior.  If you pick me, I'll throw in this genuine WWF World Title for only $35,000!  That's right!  You get the Warrior and this title for the low, low price of only 35K.  Bu wait, Hunter…there's more!  Act now and I'll toss in this super deluxe amazing shammy.  Not just that, but also the handy, dandy pasta maker.  So, you get the Warrior, the title, the amazing shammy, and the deluxe pasta maker.  It's a $900 value for the low, low price of only $35,000!  How can you go wrong!  Act now!

-

Hunter:  Hey, Warrior.  Remember WrestleMania 12?

-

Warrior:  Yes.

-

Hunter:  Me, too.  Next!

-

-

John Cena:  You can't see me…

-

Hunter:  …doing anything fresh or new in the next six months.  Next!

-

Rulon Gardner:  My name is Rulon Gardner.  I just won the bronze medal in the 2004 Olympics.

-

Hunter:  Wow.  You have great skills.  With your background, you'll probably be a WWE World Champion in no time.

-

Gardner:  I hope so.

-

Hunter:  Yeah, that's what I thought.  Sorry.  Next!

-

Sandman:  Hello.  I'm the Sandman.

-

Hunter:  Splendid.  I'm Santa Claus and Ric here is the Tooth Fairy.  Nice to meet you.  Next!

-

Batista: Yes, my name is Dave Batista.

-

Triple H looks at Ric Flair and rolls his eyes in frustration

-

Hunter:  Whatever.  Congrats, Dave.  You are get the vacant spot.  You're now in Evolution twice.  Just try to move back and forth real quick so people think you're two guys.  OK?  I guess we're done.

-

Batista: (excited)  Yes!  I knew it!  Thank you!  Thank you!  I won't let you down!

-

Hunter:  This is over, Ric.  We better get out of here.  I just saw the Lex Express pull up.

-

-

-

Hey there boys and girls, tonight's another night for Spike TV's crown jewel.  With so many things left unsettled since we last tuned in, there's plenty to ponder.  What's to come for Evolution now that Randy Orton and his World Title are out?  Can the Big Red Marriage between Kane and Lita say intact?  Do Edge and Chris Jericho have some sort of solution for their conflict?  Will that dog finally kill the guy in the Castrol GTX commercial and take the truck once and for all?  Only one way to find out!  Actually, there's two ways.  You could have watched it or you can just read about it.  Then again, you could have watched and then read about it too.  In which case, that means there's like three ways to find out what happened.   Come to think of it, someone could have just told you about it.  Which would mean…whatever.  Forget all that.  I watched it and wrote a whole mess of stuff down.  So read on and may God have mercy on your soul.

-

Last week Evolution came apart at the seems, just like when Eric Bischoff puts on his old N.W.O. jacket.

-

Evolution is leading things off as their music brings them to the squared circle.  There's a whole lot going on with Triple H and his merry men.  The most prominent issue is obviously Randy Orton and his unHunterly act of winning the World Title despite the Game's wishes.  The promo is another one Helmsley's trademarked pieces.  The Cerebral Assassin walked that fine line between work and shoot as he put the successes and triumphs of Evolution on his shoulders.  It was Hunter's sweat and tears that built this institution.  You don't believe it?  Read Ric Flair's book!  Read it!  In it we learn that Flair was short of confidence prior to joining Evolution.  Naitch had hit rock bottom and had no pride left at all.  (JG Note:  I've never been a big fan of using a non-worked book or DVD into an angle.  While talking about this make-believe Randy Orton wrestling-fantasy world conflict, why allude to a book that's supposed to be a true account of things?  There's such a thing as walking a line between work and shoot.  There's another thing to play jump rope with the line.)  This was all Randy's doing.  His problems were brought upon himself.   Randall could have been the H Man's molding clay.  He was Trippy's boy.  He was supposed to be Hunter's pet project.  Instead he spit in Helmsley's face!  Spit!  Triple H then quotes every dad that ever lived and warns Ort that "I brought you into this world and I will take you out of this world!"   According to Triple, Randy "chose this destiny."  My fiancée' looks up and points out that the whole point of destiny is that you don't choose it.  The only time she looks up at the TV during Raw anymore is when someone does or says something stupid. 

-

Randy Orton's new music hits and three stagehands rush out to set up three easels.  Randall follows, microphone in hand, to introduce what he has prepared.  Sporting a beige suit, Ort tells his former cohorts that he figured out how Evolution isn't about supporting one another.  Oh no.  It's all been about the Game.  From the start, it was about Triple H.  While Gameboy may have given Orton his opportunity, he reaped benefits as well.  He got protection.  He got backup.  You want proof?  Let's look at these pictures.

-

Picture #1:  Evolution, four strong, with Triple H in the center. 

Randy: "Evolution wasn't about us.  Evolution wasn't about past, present, and future.  Evolution was about us protecting you.  And once Ric Flair and Batista figure that our for themselves, then maybe, just maybe, they'll detach their lips from your ass."

-

Hunter responds affirmatively.  Evolution is about him.  This causes a Helmsley flip out.  He goes buck and screams that this is how it should have been, because this group is the Game's.  He tells Randy that the only reason he's carrying the belt is because of the Evolvers.  Countering the argument, Randy goes onto exhibit B.  He's just like Perry Mason only younger…and thinner…and alive.

-

Picture #2 Randy Orton doing something that he claims Hunter could never do - pin Chris Benoit.

Randy: "It's me.  It's Chris Benoit.  It's Summerslam and there's no one else around.  You, Batista, Ric Flair, no one in sight.  I did it by myself, Triple H!"

-

Picture #3: Horrific shot of Randy Orton spitting a quart of saliva onto Triple H.  Either he saved that up in his mouth for a long time or he has some sort of digestive disorder.

Randy: "What a loogie.

-

All of this is fun and great, but there's some real ish to be ironed out here.  If the Gamy one wants some Legend Killer action, he can get it tonight.  Cowboy Bob didn't raise no fools, young Randall knows that Trips has some friends by his side.  To even the odds, Ort has a friend of his own.  Retrieving a sledgehammer from behind picture 3, Randy approaches the ring and wildly swings at everyone.  After clearing the ring, the RKO Man corners Triple H by the ring steps.  He lifted aloft the hammer like Prince Adam at the start of the He-Man cartoons and came crashing down.  Moving with plenty of time to spare, Hunter scurries away without incident.  He escapes through the crowd and things are at a mildly warm pitch.  The reaction to Randy Orton is so far from what you would have expected them to be a month or two ago.  To me it's as if it was 1990 and you're WWF, building up the Ultimate Warrior to defeat Hulk Hogan.  You promote him, push him, and then the day after he wins it - you turn him heel.  Why go against the grain that helped the guy get over enough to be given the title originally?  More people were cheering for Randy when they weren't supposed to.

-

Tonight:  Ric Flair meets Chris Benoit.  Then from there, Triple H and Eugene go at it with no disqualification. 

-

Commercial Break.  The gist of the Skittles commercial?  Believe in rainbows or you will die.

-

Backstage Eric Bischoff wants to know who the hell Randy Orton thinks he is.  Bisch will not put up with this shenanigans.  As General Manager, he needs Orton to leave the building immediately.  He instructs the security to escort the Champion to his car.  Before leaving, Randy is told to leave the sledgehammer behind.  Following Bisch's wishes, Randy drops it…right on his foot.  Eric jumps around and screams in agony.  No one questions why it didn't shatter his foot immediately.  Then again this is the same sledgehammer that wrestlers use to hit each other in the head with all the time.

-

(1) La Resistance & the Coach defeated Rhyno & Tajiri when Sylvan Grenier pinned Rhyno  I don't even know what to tell you here.  This match had filler written all over it.  We've floated Coachman from Eric Bischoff's stooge to Garrison Cade's manager to La Resistance's…uh, friend I suppose.  It makes little sense and I can't tell what we're supposed to be focusing on here.  Was the point of this to forward the Resistance-Tajiri/Rhyno feud?  Was it to illustrate that La Resistance and Coachman have connections with the GM and used this match to prevent the Tajinos from rising up the tag ladder?  Was it to solidify the Coach-Resistance connection?  Who knows?  Who cares?  In the end, it didn't really do any of those things.  Nothing about it seemed special and the crowd didn't react either, which became the norm for the night.  The finale saw the Tag Champs hit Rhyno with the Au Revoir and score the pin.  Once La Resistance puts Rhyno and Tajiri to rest, they can relax.  There's no other teams for miles around.   Raw's got nothing tandem-wise.  That's good news for Sylvan and Conway.   See, there's nothing like putting a positive spin on a horrible situation.

-

Commercial Break.  There's a commercial for the new Gamecube game, WWE Day of Reckoning.  John Cena promises to "light up your joystick." I'd be afraid if I was you.

-

We revisit the Wedding from Hell.  How fitting that it was the showpiece of a Monday Night Raw from hell.

-

Kane is standing in front of a big red door.  Apparently Lita is inside, as Kane tells her that he has a big surprise planned tonight.  I hope he just kills her already.  At least then this angle will be going somewhere.

-

Backstage William Regal runs into Eugene.  Gene is wearing a mis-buttoned San Francisco Giants jersey and talking about the fun time had had seeing Barry Bonds play.  (JG Note:  Let the spiral begin.  Once you start having to kiss the home crowd's ass for reaction, that doesn't mean that things are going well for you.)  As Regal insists that Dinsmore stay backstage during his match with Batista tonight, Dins spouts off baseball terms like "out" and "safe."  Ha ha.  He's saying baseball things because he doesn't know any better.  Oh, haha.  I just can't picture that this sounded good in someone's head when they put it on paper. It was beyond unfunny, it was borderline sad.

-

Commercial Break.  I miss the Silk Stalkings commercials on USA.

-

(2) Batista pinned William Regal after a clothesline  Oh man.  No good.  This was the type of match that was so inconsequential, and got so little reaction, that it nearly puts you to sleep.  Any excitement that this match could have possibly generated was extinguished by an unenthusiastic reaction.  Whatever the reason, the whole thing seemed off from the start.  Everything just seemed awkward.  The finish was Ric Flair rushing in and nailing Willie in the ribs with brass knuckles.  His Lordship stumbled and was hit by a Batista clothesline.  Three seconds later, Dave gets this very important win.  Well, sort of important.  OK, fine.  It wasn't important at all. 

-

Ivory has a blue flower that's as big as her head pinned on her jacket.  She's standing by with Linda McMahon and Shawn Michaels from the Republican National Convention.  To be honest, I didn't listen to anything in this segment.  I doubt that many other people did either.  I just sat here stunned that WWE would have Michaels do an injury angle like he did with Kane, keep him off of television for an extended period of time, and then show him in a pretaped video mere weeks before charging people to see his return.  Well, that settles it.  We don't need to pay $35.  We just saw him.  He's fine.  He can talk.  His throat's OK.  God bless him.  Glad I don't have to get Unforgiven now.

-

Let's get Stacy Kiebler out here and I'll give you all a disclaimer:

-

The Raw Diva Search was insane.  Without a doubt, this needs to win the Moment of Insanity Award in my audio tomorrow.  Words can't describe the scene that played out.   I'll do my best, though.  Things got off to a crazy start.  Maria was cut (JG Note:  I'll give you a minute to get over it.  Go ahead.  You can cry.  Get it all out).  She hugged everyone but Carmella.  Not only did Carm not get a hug, Maria shot her a double middle finger before leaving the ring.  Wow, can't get much crazier than that, right?  Well, how about if each girl got thirty seconds to diss one another.  That's right.  Give these girls a live mic and see what they can do.  What can they do?  Let me give you the highlights:

-

Joy: "Carmella, you talk a lot of shit, but you have a gap so wide, you could drive a truck right through there, baby."

-

Amy: "Whore (Carmella), you don't have any respect for the WWE.  You don't know shit about wrestling.  Guess what?  Having a c-ck in your mouth doesn't have nothing to do with wrestling. "  The craziness?  They beeped "shit," but not only missed it when Amy said "c-ck," but when Carmella repeated back "C-ck in my mouth?" 

-

Carmella: "Who tried out for Playboy, Amy?  And they laughed.  They laughed.  And Joy, what a great role model you are, mom.  What a great role model you are.  Talkin' shit on TV.  Yeah, shake that fat ass.  Shake that fat ass." 

-

Christy:  "Carmella, you're a c-m sucking, gutter slut."  She then did a split.  (JG Note:  I'm fairly sure that this is the first time that the term "c-m sucking, gutter slut" has been used on an American wrestling show.  Although, I have to double check.  I think Sean Moony may have called Lord Alfred Hayes that during an old episode of Prime Time Wrestling.)

-

This was the most insane thing I've seen on wrestling in a long time.  I don't care who wins the contest at this point, I just want them to go on cursing sprees some more.  It's a good way to mix the show up with all the matches and promos.  Just bring out random girls, let them curse into the microphone for a few minutes, and then just go to the next segment. 

-

Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time anywhere, please put your hands together for the new Mr. And Mrs. Kane Monster!  Lita and her hubby are trotting backstage.  Big Red has his hand firmly planted around his bride's wrist as they head to the ring.  From a side room, Trish and Tyson Tomko watch them.  Stratus says that just like a real married couple, Kane's "taking out the trash."  The Monster stops and confronts the two of them.  We are lead to think he might defend Lita, but instead, he laughs.  Some husband!  Forget the forced sex and marriage, the fact that he didn't defend Lita just proves that he doesn't really love her!

-

Commercial Break.  Two CSI commercials in the same break.  I guess they did it for people with really bad short term memory.

-

Here's the happy couple.  Kane and Lita are standing center ring and it's surprise time.  Miss Amy has given Kane the greatest gift of all.  She's given her womb to house his Big Red Fetus.  That's a good gift.  You know what else is a good gift?  Eric Bischoff's gift of an open contract at Unforgiven.  At the pay-per-view, Kane can choose his victim freely.  So, anywho, the Machine feels bad tonight, honey.  He feels bad that he destroyed your love interest.  Because of this, Kane-o has tracked down Matt Hardy's family and brought them here.  Let's introduce them…

-

Four men come out, all dressed as Matt Hardy.  The first one is Pat Hardy, the second is Nat Hardy, the third is Rat Hardy, and the fourth one is appropriately named Fat Hardy…because he's fat.  Get it?  Anyway, apparently the shunned demon was able to hook up a very elaborate joke.  How did a monster that lives in solitude, devoid of human emotion, manage to meet four guys and convince them to dress up like Matt Hardy as a joke?  Oh…and get beat up too.  I forgot to mention that.  After he had them do this, he then attacked them and the bell rang. 

-

(3) Kane defeated Pat Hardy, Nat Hardy, Rat Hardy, & Fat Hardy when he pinned Pat  Duh.

-

Following the match or whatever it was, Lita took the microphone and informed the Big Red Machine that marriage is a joint partnership.  You see, Kane, that open contract from Eric Bischoff wasn't simply a gift for you.  It was a gift for the married couple.  Therefore, Lita is co-owner of that contract.  Seeing as how she's entitled to it, Leets took the liberty of naming your opponent for Unforgiven.  That opponent will be…Shawn Michaels!  Great.  We all kind of assumed that anyway, but it got a fairly good reaction.  It would have been nice if they had gotten TNA-contracted Jeff Hardy to show up for this segment.  Then again, they couldn't even get him to show up when he actually worked for them.

-

Commercial Break.  Raw returns to Madison Square Garden on October 4th.  As we speak, thousands of New Yorkers prepare an unexpected, out-of-left-field chant.

-

(4) Chris Benoit defeated Ric Flair via disqualification when Batista interfered  At what point is Ric Flair going to just stop wrestling on a weekly basis?  Forget whether or not he can perform.  Forget that.  I'm not cutting down his ability or praising it either.  I'm saying that it's a non-issue.  That's not my point.  What I'm saying is that after spending more than 30 years in the business, at what point do you stop wrestling weekly?  At what point do you do a disservice to your stature by forsaking a "special attraction" type of spot for a regular roster position?  As someone who's done so much in the business, it seems almost strange that he still does what he does each week.  From a storyline-standpoint, you wonder why a character that is supposedly so rich and accomplished still needs to be deeply embroiled in the mat wars rat race.  Does he need the money?  Is he looking to win another title?  Why?  Just relax.  You're Ric Flair. Save your matches for pay-per-views.  I'll pay for them.  I promise.  As I said earlier, I'm not questioning his ability because this match was pretty good.  The finish was another carbon copy Evolution conclusion.  Batista rushed into the ring as Naitch was about to tap and caused a DQ.  The bell didn't stop him, though.  Following the decision, he delivered a power bomb to Benoit.  Jim Ross is appalled by this act of violence.  Earlier when Randy Orton dropped a sledgehammer on Eric Bischoff's foot - that was ok.  A power bomb?  That's where we draw the line. 

-

Commercial Break.  Have you bought WWE Day of Reckoning for Gamecube yet?  Me neither.  I don't even have a Gamecube, but something tells me that John Cena is going to keep rapping at us until we buy it.

-

It's the Highlight Reel with your party host, Chris Jericho.  Tonight, Y2J has a special guest.  It's a man that has been butting heads with the King of Bling Bling for weeks.  As a matter of fact, last week this person happened to get himself disqualified in a match with Jericho.  Who is this man?  Who's the Intercontinental Champion?  Edge!  Get oot here now, eh!

-

You drink baloney…you drink baloney…

-

Hobbling out on a set of crutches, Edge enters the ring.  Real big words, Chris.  It's real big of you to call out a man that you know has an injury.  Over the weekend, the Edgeman tore his groin.  (JG Note:  That's probably one of the most painful sounding things on the planet.)  The two go back and forth for a bit with both men remembering Summerslam.  At the Slam, Edge pinned Y2J.  Remember that, son?  It happened;  Oh yes, Chris remembers.  That was the same night that the Edgeman was booed by his own hometown crowd.  According to the Toronto native, that didn't matter.  Jericho can be more popular with the puppets, Big E will keep winning the matches.  How did Chris respond?  Well, sort of like a nine year old.

-

"Well first of all, I don't think these people are puppets.  I think they're Jericho-holics.  And second of all, it doesn't look like you're going to be winning any matches soon, Crusty LaRoo… with your crutches!"

- Chris Jericho, 10:28

-

Uh…what?  Crusty LaRoo?  With the crutches?  What?  I have no idea what he was getting at there.  I think he was going for "Crutchy LaRoo," which would have been equally as lame.  This quote also begs the question, why do people have to be either Jericho-holics or puppets?  Is there a middle ground somewhere?  Things get even stranger, still with little reaction, when Jericho asked if Edge was setting him up.  He wondered if the Edgeman would do a little Canadian jig and hit him with one of those crutches.  Copeland saw his point, but made a promise.  When he's all healed, he'll go after Y2J+4 first.  He extends his hand and the two shake.  The E-Man leaves the ring, but all is not over…

-

Quickly from behind, Christian appears.  He smashes Chris Jericho in the head and begins to pummel him with a belt.  Angered about the past, Mr. Christian nails him with a chair and shoots his brother a look.  From the ramp, Edge stares.  From the ring, Christian smiles.  From my couch, I'm pretty darn tired.  Roll the commercials.

-

Commercial Break.  The Burger King Angus Diet is not a real diet.  That makes sense.  I don't think the Burger King meat is really meat, either.

-

(5) Victoria & Nidia defeated Gail Kim & Trish Stratus when Victoria pinned Gail  You'd think that after the weeks of establishing the female roster as a separate entity through their interaction in the Lita angle, WWE would capitalize and start to define their characters more.  Right?  Me too.  This was another random diva tag match that served no purpose other than to once again tease Steven Richards as Vicki's drag queen in shining armor and allow Nidia to show off her new witch outfit.  The worst part is that Trish Stratus, who was featured prominently in last week's show closing wedding, was another body just tossed into the fray.  Nothing much of interest here.  The finale saw Big Stevie Cool show up in women's clothing, although still a mystery to the announcers, and distract Gail.  Victoria took advantage and scored the win.  That win should propel Vicki in the rankings.  She's well on her way to…uh, being featured in another random diva tag match. 

-

Commercial Break.  If you sign up for Optimum Online, you get a free MP3 player.  So you can use the Optimum connection to download music for the player, get caught, go to jail, lose your internet, and still have to pay for the duration of the contract.  Pretty slick, Optimum Online.

-

In case you missed Smackdown, Kurt Angle tricked Eddie Guerrero into dumping paint on Teddy Long's car.  What was his master plan?  He told Eddie that the car was actually his!  Muwahahahahaha!   Ah!  Ha ha ha ha!  Vengeance will be mine!

-

Eric Bischoff's foot hurts.  While he convalesces backstage, Todd Grisham feels the need to stick his microphone all up in his face with questions like "how's your foot?"  Bisch is agitated and quickly turns the subject to business.  He has a major announcement to make!    That announcement is…next week on Raw, it'll be Randy Orton versus Kane.  Ever the inquisitor, Master Todd asks the General Manager if Randy dropping a sledgehammer on Eric's foot may have influenced this decision.  Of course not, Todd.  Nobody influences Eric Bischoff.  (JG Note:  Somewhere Hulk Hogan is laughing like a hyena right now.)  It's all good, Grishy.  Tonight Triple H is going to do Uncle Eric a favor and rid the show of his nephew Eugene.  You just watch and see. 

-

We run down Unforgiven.  Matches announced:

World Champion Randy Orton vs. Triple H

William Regal & Chris Benoit vs. Ric Flair & Batista

Kane vs. Shawn Michaels

-

Backstage, Triple H is drinking what's left in his water bottle after he poured it on his head.  He's wet and he's next!

-

Commercial Break.  Spike TV promises that if you watch the CSI Marathon, you won't be able to control your "hyperhydrosis."  I looked it up.  Hyperhydrosis is a condition where sweat glands overproduce.  I'd rather not get a condition like this, so I think I'll opt out of the CSI Marathon.  The sad thing is that I'd probably have watched it, but Spike TV convinced me not to.

-

(6) Eugene pinned Triple H after interference from Randy Orton  The cooling period on Eugene since Summerslam has put a damper on any interest most people would have in this match.  The reaction, although typical of the rest of the night, was still down from where it would have been a month ago.  The real redeeming quality of this one was the finish.  With Dinsmore scoring the victory, there was a new chapter in their rivalry.  It's something more recent to reference when the two pick up with each other again.  If the plan is to use this match to rekindle some Eugene-Game anger, they need to keep Dinsmore active outside of that conflict.  It's great to see these two wrestle, but if Hunter's preoccupied with Orton, Dinsmore needs someone else to maintain his interest while he waits for round two with the Game.  The two have a good chemistry though and can deliver when backed up with a storyline.  With a no disqualification stip, Triple H retrieves a sledgehammer from beneath the ring and prepares to use it.  This prompts Randy Orton to spring from the back.  He grabs the weapon and goes to town on Trips with punches.  He slams the sledgehammer into Hunter's stomach, sending him to the canvas in anguish.  Ort waits for him to get to his feet and when he does…bam!  RKO.  There's nothing that Flair and Batista can do, as Randall chases them off with the hammer.  With all the bases covered, Randy reaches over and drapes Eugene on top of Helmsley.  The ref counts three and Orton has gotten his revenge.  The Champ stands tall as we quickly fade to black.

-

All in all… Tonight's Raw seemed pretty long.  In fact, by 10 o'clock, I felt as though it had been on for four hours.  There were moments, but nothing that really stood out.  In fact, it says a lot when the highlight of a show is amateur diva search girls cursing.

-

Make no mistake, that was insane.  The profanity-laden wanna-diva thing was so over the top that either WWE was in on it or just thankful to God that it happened.  If you're going to take catty strippers and focus them in a competition, just let them loose on each other.  Forget ice cream-making and Kamala-tickling.  All we need is a steady line of sailor talk and venom to keep us happy.  The whole point of reality TV is to watch people berate and attack each other - not eat cream pies.

-

Edge's segment was good and I'm definitely looking forward to him as a heel.  Tonight's promo was his first real jump into that territory and he handled himself well.  A reunion with Christian is the perfect thing for him right now.  It'll serve to convert Edge to the side of evil and reintroduce Christian with a current star.  It makes sense for everyone and has strong potential.

-

Randy Orton still didn't do much for me in his role tonight.  His reaction was polite at best and far from where anyone should have wanted it to be.  WWE has yet to give people a reason to cheer him.  He's still so similar to Evolution personality-wise that it's hard to see him as anything but a member of them.  I said it from the start and I stand by it.  Until Orton is given a real reason to be cheered, this will be a tough road for him.  I'm not saying it's an impossible road, just tough.  Every move that Randy made tonight was meant to evoke a huge response.   Had he gotten it, the scene would have been amazing.  Instead things just seemed flat most of the time.

-

Shawn Michaels is shown on video from the Republican Convention.  You do an injury angle, keep him off TV for months, hype his return, and then show him for the first time in a suit talking about voting?  When Randy Savage took out Ricky Steamboat's larynx, Ricky didn't go on TV three weeks before his return and urge me to vote.  In fact, besides his doctor, we didn't see Steamboat at all.  We never saw Shawn's doctor, but we saw Shawn.  Pretty anti-climatic, huh?

-

Speaking of Shawn, his match with Kane makes sense logically.  Although I didn't see the logic in tonight's Hardy family thing.  This is how they follow a major storyline like that?  At least the other Hardys weren't midgets.

-

The crowd was pretty dead for most of the night and you can't really blame them.  A good amount of the night was just so-so with little causing the need for reaction.  It wasn't a clunker all around, but just about middle of the road.  With the amount of stories WWE has on the table right now, they could put together a lot more than a show like this one, though.

-

I'll see you all next week of some more Raw Inanity.  Thanks for reading.  See you next week, if not, then you're a "c-m sucking, gutter slut."