Thank you for that, Ron...whatever that was. Now, with some words for Vincent is Mr. Warrior Warriowski from Planet Ultimate. Read More

M.V.P. vs. Ernie. Mike Knox vs. Telly. Rey Mysterio vs. Mr. Noodle... Read More

Oh, Holmes. You want to know about El Presidente? You want to know what Latino Heat thinks about El Capitan? Orale! La Rasa! Holmes! Esse! That's it. I'm done. Read More

Featuring ECW vs. Michael Jackson! Read More

One Night Stand is over and we're now driving along the road to Vengeance. So if you have to pee, you better go now. Read More

So he's on the floor and crying like a baby.  After all the people he had whacked, you'd think he could take a gunshot.  No way.  What a looooser. Read More

Seeing as how you're back in the Circle of Trust, I'm going to let you in on a little secret that you need to know before Sunday. There is no Kevin Nash. He doesn't exist. Remember back in the early 90s we had Tonka make those WWF Wrestling Buddies? You know, those little pillow people things? Well... Read More

It's been so much fun going out and doing things. I started getting into professional wrestling and I love it! The other guys pick on me though. They call me "Basement Boy" and "Burnt Face," but I don't care. I've met an awesome girl named Katie and we've been spending so much time together... Read More

Hey! Hey! Evolution is a piece of cheese! You eat cheese, you know what I mean. Pass the peas and rake the leaves... Read More

I don't really smell anything different when the Rock comes out. Is it just me? Are you guys smelling something? Maybe it's my sinuses. Read More

The Tazz in a stretchy match. Read More

Yeah? Try telling Chyna that you want your Counting Crows CD back. Now that was an awkward conversation. Read More

Warning: Dolls are filled with sawdust, broken glass, teeth, and thumbtacks. Handle at your own risk. Read More

Please excuse Kane from school today. We will be away murdering vagrants. Read More

Mr. Bubbles - From what I know, Ric Flair never wrestled Moses. Then again, I think you were just being a douche. Read More

Do you think D-Lo Brown used to get teased whenever they came to the "Bi-Lo" Center? Read More

You can love it, or you can hate it. But the dirtiest player in the Game knows one thing. The best thing about this show is that we're sitting at the table, so Slick Ric, the greatest of all time - whooo - doesn't have to wear pants. Read More

Not just dogs, Billy. I stick it to all animals. Hell, I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named Blue Man Chu.  Read More

Hey mom and dad. Have you ever wanted your kids to grow up and be genuine WWE Superstars like Triple H, Nunzio, and Jamie Noble? Read More

OH THEY'RE FRUITY! FRUITY, DELICIOUS, FRUITY, FRIGGIN' FRUITY SKITTLES! SKITTLES! SKITTLES! SKITTLES.... Read More

I think Goldberg has a deviated septum or asthma or something. Maybe everybody thinks that he's trying to be intimidating but he really just can't breathe. Wouldn't we all feel bad then? Read More

Ooo Ooo! Vince! How about, from now on, we get Chocolate Chip Cookies instead of Oatmeal Raisin? Mmmm! Read More

TELL HIM HOW YOU PUNCHED ME IN THE FAYTH AT THE AIRPORT, SEAN! TELL HIM HOW YOU THREW DOO-DOO AT ME ON THHHANKTHGIVING! TELL HIM, SEAN! Read More

I hear voices in my head. They council me. They understand. They talk to me. And they tell me to write songs about myself and sing them. Now get in position! Read More

We have a beautiful seven foot, bald son named Satanico Hellspawn. He's the light of my life... Read More

If you told me that Vince McMahon had edited old footage to make it look like he pinned Strangler Lewis, I wouldn't be surprised. It's just become something we expect. That doesn't mean that WWE's website wasn't celebrating. Here, see for yourself... Read More

Sensei Bischoff is wearing his shiny gi. and throwing some shadow punches while his faithful companion, Chief Morley looks on. Tonight the Bischman is going to get himself some Stratusfaction. Remember when Eric Bischoff stole Miss Elizabeth from Randy Savage? Now hooking up with Eric Bischoff is the punishment for losing a match. Tough five years, Bisch.  Tough five years... Read More

You've Smacked Your TV. You've Escaped The Rules. Now, for the first time ever...you can Play the Game. From the creators of Head of the Class and Blade 3, comes the sitcom that the entire world will be talking about... Read More

"Ha! It's a juicy Mexicool in your mouth. If you for eighteen charo pitas then it's not for you mouth to be having the explosion! Ha ha! It's too juicy! Too juicy! Too juicy! AHAHAHAHHA!" Read More

I used to inhale the pyro and breathe it out my nose and then one day I woke up with seven fingers. I stopped inhaling the pyro after that. Yeah, no one notices the fingers because I wear these gloves. Read More

Nash is shown backstage.  He's just sitting on a box and thinking. He must have been put on "Time Out." Read More

You're supposed to say, "That gets my heart pumpin'!" Just do it, man! Those Oompa Loompas are f**kin' crazy! Read More

So? I'm not a wuss. Dude. Totally. Not a wuss. Look. Look I can pinch my arm really hard and I don't even scream. Read More

Wrestled? Oh no! Ha! You're a wrestler? How funny. My bad. My bad. We hire a magician to entertain the kids once a week. His name is Rick Flare... Read More

Don't thank me. Thank my new best friend…Tony Stewart! Read More

I've created a monster, cuz nobody wants the Crippler no more they want Hunter he's chopped liver. Well if you want Hunter, yo - I feel ya, you get a bit o' frizz mixed with necro-philia...
Read More

Sanjaya? No, Aretha. It's pronounced "Bobby." Read More

Good to have ya back, Goldberg. I missed listening to you obsess about your pets. That was sarcasm and this is Raw... Read More

Hi.   I'm Donald Trump.   What's your name?   Stu?   Your name Stu?   Hah?   Stu?  Good.   Stu's a good name.  I knew a fella named Stu once.   So that's your name now.

I'm Brice Beckham, I played Wesley on TV's Mr. Belvedere. I signed up for your lottery thing. Read More