I do need to give WWE some credit. While releasing Bryan Danielson over a violation of an unwritten rule only a select few Main Event Talents were even vaguely aware of is, well, pretty stupid, it is NOTHING compared to the BS Nikki Roxx had to go through last Sunday at Slammiversary.

Long story short, Roxxi shows up at the PPV, and she’s told, “Yeah, you’re putting over Madison Rayne tonight, and, oh, by the way, YOU’RE FIRED!!!” Less than a month back in TNA, working off the biggest push of her career thus far, and not only does TNA just send her packing for no discernible reason, but they don’t even have the wherewithal to give her some sort of advance notice that her deal was short term, or that it was coming to an end.

So, for that, we here at the SuperStars SuperReview dedicate this installment to Nikki Roxx, and the hope that someone with some sense (WWE) will sign her to a major contract, pay her well, and actually reward her hard work and dedication to this sport, rather than use her as cannon fodder on PPV.

Hello and welcome once again to your Superstars SuperReview. Bringing you the blow by blow is the Lord of the Insanity Universe, Mike Johns, who, like most of the known WWE Universe, has just recently learned that he can now watch WWE SuperStars on YouTube! Will it be commercial free, too? Let’s hope!

What You Missed Last Week: Alicia Fox scissor-kicks Gail Kim off the top rope for a win; The PrimoRyders go over YoshiDust; and Kofi Kingston proves that being Straight Edge doesn’t necessarily make Luke Gallows a winner.

So, who will we see this week? Perhaps Nikki Roxx? She was working on a night-by-night basis, after all. It’s not like she has a 90-Day No-Compete Clause to worry about, like Bryan Danielson does…

Looks like we’re starting off the show with the Intercontinental Champion, and Michael “I Wanna Honor My Mama, Too” McGuillicutty. Okay, Mikey. Now explain to us why, three weeks ago, your first name was Joe…

Kofi Kingston vs. Trent Barretta

So the Dudebuster is going one on one with Kofi, as his fellow MCMG Wanna-Be, Caylen Croft, hangs by ringside. Kofi gets things moving with a series of armdrags into a cover for 2. Kofi works the arm, but Trent reverses into an Irish Whip, just to get caught with a Kofi crossbody for 2. Kofi continues to work the arm, but Trent gets out of it by pulling some hair. Ass to the face for 2 by Kofi. Trent takes over after a massive running elbow. Trent beats Kofi down and wears him down with a sleeper. Sunset flip by Kofi for 2. Barretta takes back over, working Kofi’s neck. Monkey flip by Kofi to take back over. Trent gets tossed to the outside, and it looks like we’re heading to commercial, because Kofi’s about to dive to the outside. But, wait, no… Caylen Croft gets involved, distracting the ref, and apparently Kofi too, as Kofi rushes over to Caylen, who drops back down to the floor. Kofi charges at Trent, but Trent nails a legdrop on Kofi in the ropes ala Jerry Lynn. And, because that qualifies as an outside dive, you know what that means… Commercial Time!

So, after WWE tries to sell you a PPV, we return to our match, where Trent is wearing Kofi to the mat. Trent nails a high knee shot to Kofi’s face for a 2 count. Barretta pounds on Kofi in the corner. Kofi tries a comeback, but Trent stops it, wearing Kofi in the middle of the ring with a chin lock. Kofi fights to his feet, and Trent misses a crossbody attempt, hanging himself in the ropes. Kofi makes a comeback, nailing a flying crossbody for 2. Trent goes for the Springboard Tornado DDT, but Kofi throws him off, setting up for the Boom Drop. Nailing the drop, Kofi follows up with Trouble in Paradise for the win.

Winner: Kofi Kingston

We then go into the NXT Recap. MVP gives the rookies the ‘We’re better than you because we’re in WWE’ speech, which is supposed to make them babyfaces, but, as I mentioned last week in my Final Thoughts, it only makes the WWE Superstars look like petty, entitled dicks. Meanwhile, Kaval impresses, and Alex Riley goes over. It’s looking like Daniel Bryan all over again… And Cody Rhodes attacks Matt Striker because… um… he can?

We also learn that tonight’s Main Event is the Uso Brothers vs. Goldust and Mark Henry. I guess Yoshi Tatsu was busy this week…

Back from commercial, we get the SmackDown recap. Apparently, Kane is mad because he found Undertaker in a vegetative state, and he’s going to take it out on anyone dumb enough to be within arm’s reach of him. Or, at least he will until we find out that it was Kane who took out the ‘Taker in the first place. What? You can’t see the obvious ~SWERVE~ coming?

Apparently, I was right. Yoshi Tatsu IS busy this week. He’s about to give us our weekly dose of Diet Carlito!

Yoshi Tatsu vs. Primo Colon

Yoshi starts off hot, nailing a series of armdrags before going for a headscissors. Primo catches him with a kick and takes over. Primo wears Yosh down with a Camel Clutch, but Yosh wiggles out, so Primo pounds on him with kicks and elbows in the corner. Yoshi fights back with some kicks, but Primo with the drop toe hold back into the camel clutch. Primo switches it up into a an ab stretch. Yoshi fights out and comes back with a dropkick. Yoshi follows up with more kicks and a back body drop. Yoshi goes for his HighKnee/snapmare/kick combo, but Primo’s got it scouted, and rolls Yoshi up just before the kick for a 3 count.

Winner: Primo Colon

And here comes the Great Khali to confront Primo, and Primo backs into the ring, where he’s caught between a rock and a hard place. Yoshi nails Primo with a kick, sending him stumbling into the hands of Khali, who nails the Punjabi Pluge. So I guess YoshiDust has now been replaced by The Great Yoshi. Khali and Tatsu dance off together as we go to commercial.

Back from commercial, and off we go to the Raw Recap. After the nxtWo made its presence known last week, the entire world of RAW joins forces to drive them off. Unfortunately, it does nothing for Bret Hart, who’s put through the very real trauma of multiple car crashes to close out RAW. But yet, choking a ring announcer with a tie is “too violent for TV”…

MAIN EVENT TIME!!!
The Uso Brothers w/ Tamina vs. Goldust & Mark Henry

The sons of Rikishi make their SuperStars debut against HenryDust in our Main Event tonight, and we still have about 10 minutes to go on this show. Here’s hoping Goldust and the Uso’s carry most of this match…

Oh, and in much worse news, guess who’s back in the Kool Aid Man tights? That's right, Mark. What did I tel you last time about black being the big man's friend?

We start off with Dust and one of the Uso’s. I wish Cole and King would stop prattling about Bret hart for a second to call the f*cking action long enough to tell me which Uso is in the ring so I can put his name in the goddamned review? So Mark Henry tags in, punches Uso… A, I guess. I can’t tell, and no one is doing their job and f*cking telling me. Dust tags in, and gets caught in the Uso corner and FINALLY someone tells me which Uso is which, and Jey is pounding on Dust. Jimmy tags in, and it turns out Jimmy was the one who started, but, ONCE AGAIN, we had to go 5 minutes into the match before the commentators stopped talking about the NXT invasion long enough to CALL THE F*CKING MATCH!!!

And match goes on, a couple of Uso quick tags, and the commentators are STILL talking about the NXT guys. Hey, guess what? There’s a match going featuring debuting Superstars! Maybe you should be using this time to, I don’t know, TALK ABOUT THE F*CKING USO BROTHERS!!!

So, Mark Henry’s in the ring now with Jey, doing his shtick. Henry clotheslines the Usos a good hundred times as we go to commercial.

Back from commercial, and thankfully, Goldust is in the ring with Jey Uso. Dust nails the running knee drop for 2. Dust works the arm, and Jey tries to reverse out of it by bodyslamming Dust, but Dust keeps a hold of the arm and remains in control. And guess what? Cole and King are FINALLY calling the match, and telling us about the Usos. It’s about f*cking time, guys! 8 minutes and a commercial break, we finally get to learn something about the Usos. Mark tags in, nails a body slam or three, then misses a big splash. Jey goes for a cover and a 2 count. Jimmy tags in, stomping the hell out of Henry. Another quick tag, and the Usos double team Henry for 2. The Usos nail another quick tag, Jimmy with a diving headbutt for 2. More quick tagging, and Jey takes over. Henry powers up, tossing Jey off and gets the hot tag on Dust. Dust cleans house, nailing a manhattan drop and a bulldog on Jimmy Uso. Powerslam for 2. The Usos distract Henry on the outside as Tamina trips up Goldust. Jimmy takes Dust down with a superkick and nails the Superfly Splash for the win.

Winners: The Uso Brothers

Final Thoughts:
Excellent showing by the Uso Brothers. They’re amazingly quick, agile, and athletic young men with a potentially bright future ahead. Their dad, hell, the whole family, should be proud.

The rest of the show was okay. Nothing special, really. Kofi gets the obvious win over Trent Barretta. Primo continues to show up and do what’s asked of him. Yoshi’s still Yoshi. It’s the typical C-Show. Nothing important happens, but sometimes you get good matches. This week, not so much. Nothing outright horrible, but not anything worth the hour of your time you spent watching it, either.

It seems as if the whole show was phoned in even further by the fact that everything seemed to take a back seat to the NXT Invasion. The C-Show, where nothing happens, and no one even remotely involved in the angle is even featured, and it not only dominates the recap segments (which, obviously, they should, because they’re recapping the show where the angle is actually being played out), but the ENTIRE SHOW. It’s one thing if the NXT guys actually invaded SuperStars and took it over. Then it would make sense to spend the entire show talking about them at the expense of the Uso Brothers and whoever all else.

It reminds me of when WCW would do this during the initial NWO invasion. During WCW Saturday Night (which would often be taped weeks, if not months, in advance), the commentators would keep talking about how the now could show up any second, at the expense of the in-ring action and the people involved, even though you knew damn well the NWO wasn’t going to show up. And by the time they did eventually show up on Saturday Night, the NWO was at least half the roster, regularly showing up as if they were out and out employed by WCW (which, even in kayfabe, they were, as Bischoff had been revealed as the NWO mastermind by this point), and even then, only the B-Level members like Vincent, Buff Bagwell, and Scott Norton would even work the Saturday Night shows! WWE, we’re not stupid! We know there’s this big threat to WWE. But here’s the problem – unless that big threat is actually going to show up on the broadcast in question and DO SOMETHING, then maybe you can try, I don’t know, going on about the guys who are actually in the ring working the match we’re supposed to be watching and trying to enjoy? You have the recap segments to talk up the NXT guys. You don’t need to do it during the Uso match too, unless there’s a possibility the NXT guys will actually SHOW UP and DO SOMETHING!!!! But, because they won’t, and WE KNOW THEY WON’T, all you’re doing is leaving viewers thinking that the people wrestling don’t matter as much as people who aren’t even on the show and won’t be on the show anytime soon. It’s stupid, annoying and a waste of our time!

That’s it for me. Thanks for reading, and seriously, if you’re a major promotion looking for a full-time female wrestler who is pretty, hard-working, dedicated to the sport, and incredibly safe to work with in the ring, give Nikki Roxx a call. She’s definitely worth your time.