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WWE SuperStars SuperReview: The World's Strongest Man Faces Off With The Masterpiece, Vladimir Crush Capitalist Dreamer, and C.M. Punk vs. John Morrison
By Jamie Kennedy
Oct 17, 2009 - 7:05 PM

It's that time of the week again ladies and gents! It's time for WWE Superstars! Ever since I've been fortunate enough to report on this show for WWI, I've been consistently entertained each and every week. It really does remind me of one of the old style TV shows which the WWF/WWE used to air. Not that there is anything wrong at all with the format they use for TV nowadays, I'm a big fan of the way Vince and his production crew lay out an event.

 

Battle #1 Mark Henry vs. Chris Masters

I believe the last time these two guys faced one another they wheeled out a pretty decent power vs. power bout. This writer has a rather sneaky suspicion about which man will win but we'll see if I'm correct by the end of it! Have to tell you, I'm so glad the days of Masters having that long and drawn out entrance are behind us It really got frustrating to sit through it!

Pretty slow moving affair but there was some cool offence with the “Masterpiece” focusing his attacks on the injured left leg of the “Worlds Strongest Man”. Big Mark got the victory with the “Worlds Strongest Slam”, using the momentum of Mr. Masterpiece coming off the ropes to pull the move off. Henry now completed the RAW team for Bragging Rights and yes, he was the guy I had picked to win. Only because he's been further up the card than Masters more recently. Both men are still solid additions to the mid card in my view.

Winner: Mark Henry

 

Meanwhile..

More “Insul..I'm sorry Ask The Divas” rubbishness. This will be skipped till forever each week.

Some excellent hype for RAW which will include Cena vs. HHH and also Snoop Dog as the guest host. I like some rap but I have to say, I've never been a fan of Snoop. His voice just annoys me. Of course I wouldn't say squat to his face, we all saw what happened to Santino at Wrestlemania 24..

 

Battle #2 Vladimir Kozlov w/Ezekial Jackson vs. Tommy Dreamer

I'm willing, ready and able to give our new female ring announcer some time to settle in. Sure she hasn't quite got the knack of introducing superstars and ensuring the crowd react to their name being said but we all remember how rubbish Lillian was when she started right? Hell, even my main man Justin Roberts was more useless and a useless man's useless bits right back at the beginning of his Howard Finkel-beating career. Now he's powering through names such as “The Underrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrtaaaaakerrrrrrrrrrrrrr!” and “Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatiiiiiiiiiiiiiiisssssssssssstaaaaaaaaaa!” and exciting us all. Even my mother commented on his ability to introduce, and my mum doesn't watch wrestling.

Hey this was pretty cool stuff on show here. It's clear as day to everyone who watched Kozlov enter the WWE and rise to near enough the top of the card that he did not have the timing, charisma or general tools to be there. There is no way he should have been pushed so quickly and it is only now that he is getting the necessary experience to survive as a performer and in-ring competitor in the biggest wrestling company on this planet.

Shout out to Matt Striker who has seemingly become the modern day Gorilla Monsoon with all his medical quips and knowledge. Dreamer's elbow did appear to be the size of a grapefruit at one point during the match. Ouch. Tommy AND HIS GIANT ELBOW OF DESTINY went down for the 1-2-3 following a modified spinebuster by “The Moscow Mauler”. Following the match, big Zeke Jakcson nailed Mr. ECW with what looked like a standing “Rock Bottom”.

Winner: Vladimir Kozlov

  

In Other News..

Nice video package detailing the new Batista DVD which comes out Tuesday. Some of the matches on there should be worth a re-watching. Specifically ones against The Undertaker and HHH.

Another video, this time for Jack Swagger. I like these hype videos, they're nice little boosters for the wrestlers whom WWE have faith in. Keeps them in the minds of the fanbase, even if they're not appearing on this particular show.

One more well-produced visual hyping the one hour “Iron Man” match between John Cena and Randy Orton at WWE Bragging Rights. They really will have to work hard here to keep fan interest for 60 minutes. I have faith in them though, I've always liked the “Iron Man” concept.

 

Your Main Event & Mine Battle #3 - John Morrison vs. CM Punk

Hey! It's the new U.S Heavyweight Champion The Miz! He's out here to join Todd Grisham on announcing duties in the absence of J.R. Could this finally be the replacement WWE has been looking for!?

Predictably fantastic stuff here to close out the show. Anytime this pair enter the ring together, the audience pays attention. Some nice little touches on display too, CM Punk mocking Morrison by calling him “Ab boy” while punishing him with an abdominal stretch. Meanwhile, The Miz rocked on commentary and I do love seeing dorky announcers put in their place. As much as I like “The Grish”, he is basically this generations Kevin Kelly. I.e, very easy to poke fun at!

The decision was a DQ when Miz entered the ring and stomped CM Punk, thus giving the “Straight Edge Superstar” the win. Miz and Morrison will face one another at Bragging Rights in a Smackdown vs. RAW challenge match. I've been looking forward to the prospect of them facing off ever since Miz turned on John following their split in the draft.

Following the bout, Morrison whacked Punk with a chop kick springing off the middle rope. Not having much luck tonight is young CM..

Winner: CM Punk

Thanks for reading this week's edition of the WWE Superstars SuperReview! I'll see you all next time out for more of this awesome one hour show.



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