Hi Fans,
Something came into my head the other
day and it made me realize, even though I have been
a wrestling fan for 20 years, even though I know some
wrestlers and have been into the behind the scenes
aspects of wrestling for years, I sometimes get confused.
That being said, I decided to ask you all for some
help. I am going to ask a few questions in regards
to what is going on in the wrestling world and I need
your help explaining certain things to me that I just
don’t understand. Once done, please go to the
message board and into my Anger Management section
and answer the questions for me. To protect the innocent,
I will just use hypothetical situations that may or
may not be based on real life angles and storylines.
Got it? Ok then, let’s begin.
EXPLAIN THE INSANITY
1) Let’s say I
worked for a wrestling promotion. No, scratch that.
Let’s say I worked for the number one wrestling
promotion in the World. Now, I am their secondary
champion, for argument’s sake, we will call
that title the 50 States Title. So I recently won
that belt by defeating my arch enemy Orange Juice
in 26 seconds. A rematch is scheduled. I win in 25
seconds. Then I face him again and win in 24 seconds.
Then I beat him in 28 seconds. My question to you
all is, AS A FAN, WHY IN THE HELL WOULD YOU WANT TO
KEEP SEEING THIS MATCH? I won the match all 5 times
in under 30 seconds with the same damn move. UTTERLY
RIDICULOUS. Please explain the Insanity to me.
2) My name as you know
is Matt. As you know by now, I am an aspiring professional
wrestler. My best friend in the whole wide world is
also a wrestler like myself. His name is Ledge. While
I was injured a few months back, Ledge slept with
my girlfriend of 18 years, Cheetah. Cheetah and Ledge
were doing the “wild thing” behind my
back. I fake posted about it on the DOI
Message Board. I got fired for it. Boo!!! I bitched
and moaned and complained and got my job back. YAY!!!!
I was put into a feud with Ledge after being rehired.
Now that I am back, instead of pushing me as a solid
babyface out for revenge, I am being pushed as a p*ssy
who wants Ledge to die in a car accident rather than
me kill him myself. I will push him off of 15 foot
ladders hoping he injures himself so I don’t
have to fight him. Does this seen logical to you?
Explain it and make it make sense to me.
3) Pretend I am the
World Wrestling Insanity champion. I like Rap music.
My boss however doesn’t. So he wants me to lose
the belt because I represent thugs and such. Now while
that is an acceptable feud, said boss books me in
handicap matches each week. He gives me his hand picked
number one challenger and teams him with an array
of people to face me. I single handedly beat them
both. Week in and week out. When it comes to the big
singles match on Pay Per View, I beat him clean. So
the next night on our weekly Monday night show, “WWI
Monday Night UNCUT”, I beat him in a “Lose
your job” match. So the number one challenger
loses his job. But after the match, my boss’
new hand picked number one challenger jumps me and
lays me out. The next few weeks on UNCUT, I am booked
in a handicapped match with the handpicked number
one challenger and an array of partners. Lather, Rinse,
Repeat. Does this seem like de-ja-vu to you all? Do
you want to continue to see the same old story over
and over again? I think this is poopy, Do you?
4) My boss doesn’t believe
there is competition out there. He thinks everything
is roses and all “challengers” to his
throne as number one wrestling promoter EVER are pimples
on his hynie. (that was a hynie joke because my boss
likes those). So he doesn’t show fear of them.
But….turns out we are leaving our network of
5 years to return to our previous home, America Network.
So on the date we move, our current network, MEN TV,
books a 2 hour block of their new hot show, “REAL
FIGHTING LIVE” to precede their “Real
Fighting reality show” at 11:00 PM. That LIVE
show is going against our return to America Network
against our “Monday Night UNCUT”. On top
of that, after the “Real Fighting Reality Show”,
they are going to air the new wrestling program replay
of “Planet Jeff Wrestling“.
My boss decides to add an additional
hour of “UNCUT” to get a head start on
“REAL FIGHTING LIVE” and start at 8:00
PM instead of the usual 9:00 PM. So our old network
decides to air a “REAL FIGHT KNOCK YOU THE F-OUT”
show at 8:00 PM to go against our first hour. My boss
then decides that a 7:55 PM start time is better than
an 8:00 PM one. You following? So, just to be a d*ck
on top of the crap my boss has been doing already,
he decides to air a “Best of UNCUT” program
that starts at 11:08 PM and ends at 12:08 AM, directly
up against “Real Fighting Reality show”.
Note the :08 end time of “Best of UNCUT”,
that means “Planet Jeff Wrestling” fans
are going to miss the first 8 minutes of the show.
Does any of this make my boss sound like a man who
is not paranoid and afraid of competition? Does this
sound Insane to you? Do you think this is normal?
Let Matt Know
What You Think On the Free
World Wrestling Insanity Message Boards
