Hi Fans,

Something came into my head the other day and it made me realize, even though I have been a wrestling fan for 20 years, even though I know some wrestlers and have been into the behind the scenes aspects of wrestling for years, I sometimes get confused. That being said, I decided to ask you all for some help. I am going to ask a few questions in regards to what is going on in the wrestling world and I need your help explaining certain things to me that I just don’t understand. Once done, please go to the message board and into my Anger Management section and answer the questions for me. To protect the innocent, I will just use hypothetical situations that may or may not be based on real life angles and storylines. Got it? Ok then, let’s begin.

EXPLAIN THE INSANITY

1) Let’s say I worked for a wrestling promotion. No, scratch that. Let’s say I worked for the number one wrestling promotion in the World. Now, I am their secondary champion, for argument’s sake, we will call that title the 50 States Title. So I recently won that belt by defeating my arch enemy Orange Juice in 26 seconds. A rematch is scheduled. I win in 25 seconds. Then I face him again and win in 24 seconds. Then I beat him in 28 seconds. My question to you all is, AS A FAN, WHY IN THE HELL WOULD YOU WANT TO KEEP SEEING THIS MATCH? I won the match all 5 times in under 30 seconds with the same damn move. UTTERLY RIDICULOUS. Please explain the Insanity to me.

2) My name as you know is Matt. As you know by now, I am an aspiring professional wrestler. My best friend in the whole wide world is also a wrestler like myself. His name is Ledge. While I was injured a few months back, Ledge slept with my girlfriend of 18 years, Cheetah. Cheetah and Ledge were doing the “wild thing” behind my back. I fake posted about it on the DOI Message Board. I got fired for it. Boo!!! I bitched and moaned and complained and got my job back. YAY!!!! I was put into a feud with Ledge after being rehired. Now that I am back, instead of pushing me as a solid babyface out for revenge, I am being pushed as a p*ssy who wants Ledge to die in a car accident rather than me kill him myself. I will push him off of 15 foot ladders hoping he injures himself so I don’t have to fight him. Does this seen logical to you? Explain it and make it make sense to me.

3) Pretend I am the World Wrestling Insanity champion. I like Rap music. My boss however doesn’t. So he wants me to lose the belt because I represent thugs and such. Now while that is an acceptable feud, said boss books me in handicap matches each week. He gives me his hand picked number one challenger and teams him with an array of people to face me. I single handedly beat them both. Week in and week out. When it comes to the big singles match on Pay Per View, I beat him clean. So the next night on our weekly Monday night show, “WWI Monday Night UNCUT”, I beat him in a “Lose your job” match. So the number one challenger loses his job. But after the match, my boss’ new hand picked number one challenger jumps me and lays me out. The next few weeks on UNCUT, I am booked in a handicapped match with the handpicked number one challenger and an array of partners. Lather, Rinse, Repeat. Does this seem like de-ja-vu to you all? Do you want to continue to see the same old story over and over again? I think this is poopy, Do you?

4) My boss doesn’t believe there is competition out there. He thinks everything is roses and all “challengers” to his throne as number one wrestling promoter EVER are pimples on his hynie. (that was a hynie joke because my boss likes those). So he doesn’t show fear of them. But….turns out we are leaving our network of 5 years to return to our previous home, America Network. So on the date we move, our current network, MEN TV, books a 2 hour block of their new hot show, “REAL FIGHTING LIVE” to precede their “Real Fighting reality show” at 11:00 PM. That LIVE show is going against our return to America Network against our “Monday Night UNCUT”. On top of that, after the “Real Fighting Reality Show”, they are going to air the new wrestling program replay of “Planet Jeff Wrestling“.

My boss decides to add an additional hour of “UNCUT” to get a head start on “REAL FIGHTING LIVE” and start at 8:00 PM instead of the usual 9:00 PM. So our old network decides to air a “REAL FIGHT KNOCK YOU THE F-OUT” show at 8:00 PM to go against our first hour. My boss then decides that a 7:55 PM start time is better than an 8:00 PM one. You following? So, just to be a d*ck on top of the crap my boss has been doing already, he decides to air a “Best of UNCUT” program that starts at 11:08 PM and ends at 12:08 AM, directly up against “Real Fighting Reality show”. Note the :08 end time of “Best of UNCUT”, that means “Planet Jeff Wrestling” fans are going to miss the first 8 minutes of the show. Does any of this make my boss sound like a man who is not paranoid and afraid of competition? Does this sound Insane to you? Do you think this is normal?

Let Matt Know What You Think On the Free World Wrestling Insanity Message Boards