Well, hopefully that put you in the mood for Jeff Hardy’s big return. No? Well, no big deal. Tonight’s about other things. What other things? Umaga things. That’s because the Samoan Bulldozer will, uh, bulldoze his way into the main event and face off against DeGeneration X’s Triple H. Will the Game finally face his downfall in the form of Sivi Afi with a thyroid disorder? Has the Spirit Squad pepped themselves into a corner now that they have raised the ire of the Bushlanders? Does Ric Flair have something to say to Mick Foley? Does Mick Foley have something to say back? Will they say it? Are Edge and Lita prepared to do what it takes to keep the WWE Raw Title away from “The Doctor of Hostile Crowds” John Cena? Can the immortal Hulk Hogan finally shut the mouth of Ran…oh. What? He’s not there? Oh. Nevermind. No. No, he can’t. Well, again, no big deal. There’s so much on our plate tonight and we better dig in before it gets cold. Grab a fork, a knife, and a napkin. It’s time to chow down on some Monday Night Grub and Vinnie Mac has made it just the way you like it. Raw. Mmmmm. Salmonella, take me away…

Last week, Shawn Michaels was beaten up by the McMahons and Umaga. No one saved him, not even God. When reached for comment, God said “To be honest, I don’t really like him all that much. The leather chaps bother me. I just can‘t get past that.”

Slap your grandma in the face with a cheese sandwich, kids. Raw is live and in Memphis, Tennessee. As we peer at Graceland, Jerry Lawler tells us that we’re looking at an institution. It’s the home of Elvis Presley and a respected landmark. I’m surprised that we’re one minute into the show and no one has dressed up like Elvis yet.

9:02pm: Vince and Shane McMahon are dressed like Elvis and posing backstage. Big Mac joins his boy in a rendition of “All Shook Up” before laughing about what they did to Triple H last week. They set him up and it was sweet! So sweet, in fact, that Vinnie did an off-key chorus of Jailhouse Rock. At this point, a theme is starting to develop. After doing a few more Presley tunes, including Heartbreak Hotel and Don‘t Be Cruel, the duo reminded us that Umaga meets Mr. H tonight. Vin and his kid sing a bit more before giving the audience an ominous “Elvis has left the building.” This segment actually reminded me of one of my favorite promos ever as a kid. It was the Honky Tonk Man’s interview at the 1988 NBC Main Event show before his match with Randy Savage. It was all about how he wanted to kidnap Elizabeth, but had a musical theme.  He went through all the Elvis songs with Jimmy Hart egging him on.

And where’s that hound dog Randy gonna be?

In the ghettooooo…

Ah. Good stuff. Hey Truck! Roll the theme.

Raw Theme Plays.

Hello there. It’s Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler once again. Things are on fire as Raw gets kicked off. It’s Triple H going one on one with the monster Umaga. Then from there, it’s Jerry Lawler stepping into the ring against The Legend Killer Randy Orton. Also, as reported on the Interweb, Hulk Hogan is out of action and we’ll have an update on his condition later on in the show. Doctors are obviously concerned over Hogan’s injury, as every injury is considered serious when you’re 104 years old.

First match up is Mickie James against Trish Stratus. Before it begins, Lawler and Ross giggle over the silly 1999 study that ties wrestling to “date fighting.” Both men wonder what date fighting is. I would imagine that it has something to do with a small fruit. Before we can really get into the absurd nature of said study, we get interrupted by the Heavyweight Champion of the World.

Cue the Heavyweight Champion of the World.

Oh. OK. Fine. How am I supposed to know? I stopped watching this show after the Rock left.

Edge is here and he’s ordering the show and match stopped right now! He is the WWE Champion so he can call the shots. Mickie, get the eff out of this ring. Because, as of this moment, Adam Copeland owns Raw! Yeah! Complete ownage!

The new Emperor of Raw has a few things he needs to say and Miss Stratus best be on hand to hear them. Adam is sick of getting no respect. It’s not fair! For instance, he has to defend his WWE title against John Cena at Summerslam…in Cena's hometown of Boston! Not only that, but Copeland has to worry about the match stipulation. In a bizarre booking move, the stip states that if Edge is DQed, the belt goes to J.C. (JG Note: As I said last week, it’s a poor choice for stipulation because the hero shouldn’t want to win the title on a disqualification. Instead, he should demand a no-DQ match. Maybe a hardcore match. Something with fire or a bullrope. Who cares? All I know is that Johnny should be making a stink and demanding a shot without a disqualification rule. Put something on a pole and go to school. None of this sissy-mary-if-you-get-disqualified garbage.)

The Champ goes on to whine about his treatment on Raw. You want proof that Copeland is overlooked? Check out this cheesy-ass Summerslam poster.

Cope unveils a ridiculous, but legitimate, SummerSlam poster.  DX is on the BBQ while The Doctor of Thuganomics is diving into a pool with a ridiculous cornball look on his face.  The Champion explains:

“Oh. Look what we have here. Who’s front and center? Why it’s DX, of course. Naturally. They have to be. Oh and look, they’re holding hot dogs. How original and funny and cute. Oh Lita, please hold me up, I’m laughing so hard. Oh and look at that. There’s the challenger to the WWE Championship, John Cena. And of course, he’s in his natural pose looking like a complete idiot. Oh and Trish, Trish. There you are. There you are, Trish. Oh and we have to get Batista on there before he gets injured again.”
- Edge, 9:11pm

Hahahahahaha! Great stuff here. Cena looks seriously ridiculous on the poster. You gotta see it. The promo was done really well. It was a way to say some “inside-like” comments without stepping out of character or truly burying anyone. Nice. The gist here is that The R Rated Superstar feels slighted because he didn’t get a chance to tool himself out on a SummerSlam poster. No way, eh! That’s why he figured that he’d be the one shown on the cover of the new WWE Magazine. Guess what? Nah ah! Again A.C. was overlooked. Instead of the WWE Champion in a bikini, fans had to settle for Trish in a bikini! What the frig! That’s total disrespect. Angered at her boyfriend’s treatment, Lita steps up.  She walks up to Stratus, who's standing off in the corner, and offers to remove “the trash from the ring.”

There’s a brief scuffle between Dumas and Strats before Edge stepped in to "break it up." Once he did, Miss Amy rushed in and hit a Spear. Trisha fell down, went boom, and was then stood back up. It appeared the World Champion was going to nail Trish Stratus.

With a Spear.

Just as Adam rushed in, Carlito sprung from the back. Like a knight in afro’d armor, Carl defended Trish but got beat down for his troubles. Edgar Cage and Miss Congeniality leave the scene while the happy couple roll around in pain.

Commercial Break. See this guy starring in this movie.

It’s time for the Battle of Groundhogs. So named for an analogy brought fourth by Jim Ross comparing this match to the movie Groundhog Day, only with different groundhogs. Last week there were other groundhogs. Now we have these. Get the meaning? No? Confused? It’s ok. Melina is here and she’s spread eagle on the announcers table. Just stare at that. Groundhogs shmoundhogs.

Intercontinental Champion Johnny Nitro settles in with Split Girl to watch the action. First man out is Shelton Benjamin. He’s wearing his Rock Halloween costume as he awaits the introduction of his opponent. That man is Kane. Let the games begin.

1) Kane pinned Shelton Benjamin after a Chokeslam

Before the match even got underway, Kane was attacked. With his red lights beaming and his pyro shooting, The Big Red Machine was bulldogged by a determined Shelton. At first, this match seemed like a really poor way to bring Kane-o back into the mix. The thing with a guy like him is that people will accept him in whatever role you present him. If you have him return to the show and get treated like a main eventer, people will see him as that. If you have him fight for a shot at the IC belt in a mid card role, people will see him as that. He has enough of a backstory and a name that fans will get behind him if they make him into a big deal. He can definitely handle it. Considering all the crappy storylines he’s survived, imagine what he’d do with some good material. That being said, maybe he needs another IC run to get him back on top.  Oh, did I mention he won?  How? Well, he got it done with a little help from a friend we call Mr. Chokeslam.

Commercial Break. Goodbye, AOL!

A Few Years Ago

Hey John, that “Word Life” song is getting played out. You need a new theme song.

Me too. Let’s start the new theme song out with that.

John Cena is in the ring and he’s got some things to say. First and foremost, Edge seems to be upset over the Summerslam poster. Sorry, Adam. Market research was done and WWE discovered that “your face scares small children.” (JG Note: Bada boom ching.) As for Lita, well she got a deal with 7-11. Now when people get a cold beverage, they can see the sign declaring “Slurpees For Herpes.” Um. OK. After doing some more of his Last Comic Standing Act, the former WWE Champion tells the R Rated Superstar to be happy with his first magazine cover. It was C.B.I. - Crying Bitch Illustrated.

From there we go up to CBI on the Titantron and, yes, it’s another WWE Photoshop piece. Second week in a row. Nice. They must realize that chicks dig the photoshop. Pimps cut and paste, baby.

John’s thrilled that the SummerSlam. PPV is in Beantown. However, he doesn’t care where it is. Hell, it can be right here tonight in Memphis. You wanna flap your gums all night? Screw that. Bring your R Rated Rear out here now.

This brings out…the Coach. John Coachman is clad in a suit and has a microphone in hand as he informs Dr. Poopdeck that Edge is already booked tonight. The WWE Champion is taking part in a mixed tag match pitting himself and Lita against Trish and Carlito. Yeah. Sorry, man. Don’t fret, my pet. You still have a match on the horizon. Your opponent is the one and only Viscera! (JG Note: Men on a Mission’s Mabel vs. John Cena. All we need now is PG-13 and PN News and we’ll have a complete set.)

2) John Cena pinned Viscera after an F-U

Viscera’s purple pajamas look horrible. They’re a terrible choice for his ring wear. He’s a big barney with a Mohawk. It just seems insane that they have a 500 pound guy on the roster and they can’t get him over no matter what they do. It’s hard to imagine. After all, he’s played a gay rapist and wears pajamas when he wrestles. What’s not to like? Jim Ross says that this would be “a major upset if he were to beat John Cena 13 days before Summerslam.” (JG Note: Uh, I would say it would be a major upset if Viscera beat John Cena 1300 days before Summerslam.) This one wasn’t as bad as you would imagine and the crowd helped out a bit. All seemed dark for the Doctor of Thuganomics. Vis stood over him and gyrated his hips. He then dove onto Cena, seemingly ready to slam his face into the former Champion’s butt. However, Johnny rolled away and hit an F-U. No joke. He hit the F-U. It was pretty impressive. Say what you want about J.C.’s promos and stuff, but when it comes to stepping up and going the extra mile physically, this kid’s no joke. We get a sick F-U on the Banana in Pajamas and the ref counts out the three.

Still to come: Sika faces Ole Anderson. Also, Trish Stratus and Carlito take on Edge and Lita.

Commercial Break. Tomorrow night Kurt Angle meets Sabu. Let’s all hope they don’t drive to the arena together.

This week in history - The Showdown in Shea featuring Andre the Giant vs. Hulk Hogan. At what point did we stop pretending that WrestleMania 3 was their first match? I must have missed the email on that one.

In the leather couch room, Vince McMahon is talking to a team of fake cops. He and his boy remind the officer impersonators that DX is a danger to the show. Do your thing and bounce those beeotches from the building! Once the order is given, Shane leaves to make a phone call. No need to worry, pops. Your son will just be outside the door. Vincent “Foreshadowing” McMahon calls out “Be careful” as the door closes.

Backstage, Carlito Cool is trying to calm down an irate Trish Stratus. She’s incensed over Lita and in one of the funnier moments of the night, Uber-White Trish tells Carly that she’s going to go down to the ring and “whoop that trick.” In case you missed it, she says it again. "Whoop that trick."  Even Coolio seemed perplexed over that one.  After rambling briefly, Stratus grabs Sideshow Bob and plants a big wet kiss on him. He smiles and she leaves. Man…guys with toilet brush heads get all the girls.

Shane is done with his phone call to 976-Santa and hangs up his phone.  After the call, he decided to walk the hallway and call out Shawn Michaels. Shane-o Insane-o bellows for The Boy Toy but is met with blank stares from both The Highlanders. When he runs into Torrie Wilson and Candice Michele, they too deny seeing HBK. Instead they make goo-goo eyes at little Mac and, content with taking his dad’s on-air sloppy seconds, he says he’s see them later. On the third cry for Shawn, Shaney starts to re-enter the office. For some reason, this is when Michaels chose to attack. They roll into the room and into the feet of waiting fake cops. Uh oh. Looks like Shawn’s in trouble. He might be going to the slammer. Making matters worse is that he’s already found Jesus, so now he’s not going to have anything to do in jail.  Pity him during the commercial.

Commercial Break. Hey. Hey you. See this hot chick? Wanna rub your face on her? Yeah? Use Lectric Shave. Do it. She’ll let you rub her. We promise.

Shawn Michaels has crazy, frazzled, old lady hair as he’s lead away by “officers.” The unapologetic Degenerate profusely apologies but is still taken to “jail.” Even Triple H can’t convince the coppers to release his buddy. Can you believe that?! They wouldn’t listen to Hunter. Don’t they know who he is?

Edge appears on Comedy Central’s Mind of Mencia this Sunday.  While there, I heard he tried to bang Cartman's mom.

3) Edge and Lita defeated Trish Stratus and Carlito when Lita pinned Trish

They do this Trish on-air boyfriend thing all the time. You’d think that it would help to raise her up in the eyes of fans. While it does, it also lames up the person she’s teaming with. I mean, you know that Carlito isn’t going to be winning any titles soon. You get mixed tags and segments week after week leading to a kiss. It’s the same old formula. She did it with Chris Jericho and tons of other divas have done it too. The real selling point to things like this are the payoff. Either the girl and guy go separate ways and no one really cares or else someone turns on the other. How it ends can make or break the whole thing. The finish to this one was done well and seemed to set up a twist in the story. Edge leaned back and set up Carlito for a Spear. Carly moved and Trish found herself spiked to the ground. Down and out, the crushed Diva was easy pickens for a Lita pinfall. After the bell, we watch the Spear again on instant replay. Why? Because we like date violence. You read the study.

Still to come: Hunter Kennedy Helmsley takes on  Oooo Maga. Also, Lawler-Orton. But most importantly, we’ll have an update on the condition of ULK OGAN! Oh, wait. Wait. Sorry. That’s Hulk Hogan. Hulk - Hogan. Sorry for any confusion.

Commercial Break. The Diva Search Finals are on Wednesday, August 16^th. At this point, it seems like the winner of this competition gets screwed. By the time the thing ends, all the girls who got voted out early and signed to contracts will have three weeks of OVW experience already.

On last week’s Smackdown, The Great Gazoo Khali attacked The Undertaker and was promptly challenged to a Last Man Standing match. Yay. I was worried that we might not get to see this match. If they really want to sell me on this Khali thing, they should let him wear Giant Gonzales’ old Slim Goodbody outfit. Then I’d buy the pay-per-view. Hell, I’d buy two of ‘em!

Jerry Lawler’s seat is now empty. Uncle Jer is off getting ready for his match with Randy Orton. Speaking of Randy, his Summerslam Challenger Hulk Hogan is apparently injured. Ouch! Tenay goes backstage to Borash who says that because of the injury, Jarrett’s match with the Hulkster might not happen. Oh no. Orton doesn’t like hearing that his match might be called off so he walks right up to Todd Grisham and lays down the law. Hogan truly does “know best.” He knows that he’ll get the red and yellow snot beaten out of him if he comes to pay-per-view. You want proof? Keep your eye on Jerry The King tonight. He’s about to get Ortonized!

Whoooo!

Yeah, phew. Sorry. Just had a heart murmur.

Ric Flair’s music plays out and he struts through the curtain. He’s holding a book. Great. Nothing like TV wrestling feuds based on old books. The Nature Boy lets the crowd in on a little secret. He was actually born in Memphis, Tennessee. Yup.  That’s right. Now here’s some more secrets.  You see, for the last ten years, Flair has been trying to figure out what makes a guy like Mick Foley tick. That's right, but make no mistake, Slick Ric doesn’t want to be like Sick Mick. He wants to know how to get him to agree to a Summerslam match. Yeah.  He wants to figure out how to get in Mankind's head.  Luckily, someone gave the Kiss Stealing former Evolutionary some sound advice.  That person said to read Cactus' book.  So Flair did.  After explaining all this, guess what Ric did.  Go on.  Guess.

He beat up the book. I’m not kidding. He dropped an elbow on it and bounced off the ropes with a knee drop. Ric Flair is friggin’ nuts. What’s even funnier is that I’m almost used to seeing him do things like this. It was classic Flair.  He just needed to strip into his underwear and pass out to make it complete.

Once he had outwrestled the autobiography, Naitch tore it to shreds and then winged it into the audience. With his face turning redder with each moment, Flair went into how Foley was actually a Nature Boy Fan. Yeah! Mankind idolized him! Check out page 169. Cactus Jack says it himself! On his top ten wrestling matches list, he lists Terry Funk vs. Ric Flair in the classic 1989 “I Quit Match.” Ha! Got you! You like Ric Flair! Ha! Ha! Micky and Ricky sitting in a tree…F-U-C…hold on. Mick’s here. He doesn’t look happy.

Dirty and disheveled, Mick Foley has arrived with some words for his foe. You got something right, Nature. Foley once idolized you! Your match with Funk was off the chain, son! You were a better wrestler than Folio ever was. You know one thing, though. You know that if you two were to hook it up at SummerSlam, it would steal the damn show! It would put your name right back up at the top of the roster again, old man. It’s for that reason alone that Cactus is denying you. He That’s right. Dude Love doesn’t want to give you the rub! He doesn’t want you to be a star! Just like you did to Mick in WCW, you’re being held back. Because you buried him back then, Foley made himself a promise never to put your Horsemen butt over again! That means that you ain’t getting a PPV classic against Mr. Socko’s Dad. No way. Cackie Jackie ain’t wasting a match on the likes of you. Unless you can think of some sort of spectacular match, then you best kiss Dude Love’s behind. Have a nice d….hold on.

Flair isn’t letting Melina’s friend off that easy. You can’t give it up, Mick! You can’t give up the taste of the blood! You can’t give up the thumbtacks and concussions! Give Ric one more hardcore match! Do it at Summerslam! If you do, you’ll get the greatest hardcore match in history! The Dirtiest Player in the Game promises it!

Mankind runs down all the reasons he has for wanting to pummel Flair before naming the match himself. Let’s do it, Spartacus. Let’s do it at SummerSlam. That’s right. Ric Flair vs. Mick Foley in an…I Quit Match! Have a nice d…hold on again.

Foley stops the music so he can talk some more. Flair talks back. So much talking. I can’t wait until they just wrestle. I feel like I’ve heard them talk more in the last month than I’ve heard some of my friends talk. I get it. This guy doesn’t like thumbtacks. This guy likes Melina. Now go beat each other up for my amusement.

Up next: The old guy that creeps out the Divas faces the young guy that creeps out the Divas.

Commercial Break. Castrol GTX.  Looks like Jägermeister.  Doesn't taste like it though.

4) Randy Orton pinned Jerry Lawler after an RKO.

Lawler was dressed all in white and sort of looked like a ballerina. Anyway, the point of this match was to get Jerry in front of his hometown crowd and let him do his spots before putting over a younger wrestler. Say what you want about the King, but he can still do his thing in the ring. He’s a genuine legend and his “puppy” stuff is enough to make you forget about that sometimes. He held his own against Orton and seemed to have things really going his way. When Randall went for his patented RKO, Jer pushed him away. Unfortunately, he pushed him right into the ref. While the official regained his bearings, The Legend Killer spun around and hit the 74 time USWA Champion with a low blow. Lord Horndog crumbled and was then snapped to the canvas with an RKO. Three seconds later and the hometown boy goes down in front of his peeps. Way to represent, Kingfish.

Commercial Break. Jeff Hardy is coming back. He decided he likes wrestling again.

Hoorah! Hoorah! Mike the Mizerable is here for another one of his suddenly condensed live Diva Search segments. After allowing all the Wanna-divas to spin around, Spike Mike shares the bad news. The one who is going home this week is Arlene.

Psyche. There is now Arlene. Just testing you. In reality, tonight’s eliminated trick is none other than…Erica. Aw.

Once she leaves, Mike lets the ladies know that they’re about to play “Dis The Diva.” That game will take place…in a few minutes.

Now I’m confused as we go down to J.R. on SummerSlam Sales Pitch duty. I’m guessing that they’re telling the Diva’s not to say the C-Word. Last time that happened, it got on TV and then some jerk put it in a book.

…And we’re back. Let’s star with the first Diva Dis. You’re up, Sheila.

Gotcha again. No Sheila. First one up is Jen.

Jen says that she’s a kitty and asks if anyone wants to tame her. Uh, I have two cats. I don’t really get turned on by the imagery there, Jen.

After her is Leyla. She says that she has “more ass” than the other girls. She then rambles about kissing her ass and going in the ring. It makes no sense.  The audience boos. Good job, Leyla.

Then comes Milena. Clad in her black cowboy hat, Millie says that she knows Judo and can kick ass. Randy Orton makes a mental note not to crap in her luggage.

Finally, the microphone goes to J.T. Then it happens. The greatest monologue of the night:

“Well let me start off by saying I don’t need to tell you what I do or what I’m about. We all know that I’m down. I am perfect for this job. I don’t need to talk about I can buy it. I don’t need to tell you what I do behind. I told you already. You guys go look at me and tell you I’m reading to go. I don’t need to dress up in glitz and glam….Boo! Keep me going, baby.”
 - J.T., 10:50pm

Awesome. You had to hear it. The transcript doesn’t do it justice. She delivers her lines like a slurring robot and throws in an awkward twirl as the crowd boos. Michael Michael Motorcycle gives his well-memorized voting instructions and sends us back to a recap of tonight’s DX-McMahon conflict.

After the video package, we see Umaga walking to ring. He is backed by Armando, Shane McMahon, and Vince. Although it was just a pre-match walking scene, it still looked pretty cool. Maga plays the Game…next!

Commercial Break. Chicken Fries is supposedly this brand new concept. I love Chicken Fries…especially when they’re called Chicken Fingers.

Memphis is alive with the sound of Umaga. Mr. Minute and a Half is here and he’s ready to face the challenge of the one and only Triple H.

5) Umaga pinned Triple H after the Samoan Spike.

I have to be honest. This match was really intriguing. Anytime Hunter goes into a contest with an up and comer, it’s interesting. It started off with both men trading offense. Ross was all alone on commentary here as Jerry Lawler was still having his testicles examined after Randy Orton’s low blow. So while the King was off having fun, the main event was going down and J.R. knew why. The motive is obviously Triple H’s condition. The McMahons want him beaten down before Summerslam and they are having the mighty Jamal do their dirty work. Just like HBK last week, Hunter Hearst Helmsley was the victim of Vinnie Mac’s cold and calculated planning. The King of Kings seemed ready to be put out of his misery when things suddenly seemed to turn around in his favor. Mr. Stephanie turned the tide and tried to lock Umy in a Pedigree. The Islander reversed it into a backdrop, but still failed to maintain control. Sideburns McGameface rallied back and ended up covering the Bulldozer Man for what seemed to be a three count…

…until Armando Alejandro Estrada yanked the referee from the ring. With Maggie’s manager taking out the official, Hunt was fair game - ahem - for Shane McMahon to run in and attack. He did, but it did no good. Gameboy took him down with a Spinebuster and then turned to Vince, who was now in the ring. He set the chairman up for a Pedigree, but Jamala ran in and thumbed him in the throat. Trips fell and was pinned by the still-undefeated Savage. No foolies? No foolies.

After the bell, Trippo was decimated by the gloating McMahons. Vince hit his son-in-law with a Pedigree and then strutted away from the ring the K.o.K. rolled around in agony. Fade to black.

All in all…This was a good Raw. It wasn’t only because Umaga beat Hunter either.

It was good in that WWE got characters and situations over before a pay-per-view. Take John Cena. With his character as it is, John’s only saving grace is that he’s a powerful, jacked up guy. That’s his real hook. He delivers cornball lines but ultimately is a built guy that can pick up 500 pound Viscera and F-U him to the mat. If the cheapsauce lines make them all boo, then the raw feats of strength will make them cheer. Hey. At least things are balancing out now.

It’s the exact opposite situation that’s working in Edge’s favor. The WWE Champion isn’t big. He’s actually kinda small in the world of WWE. Sure, it you saw him on the street, he’d be bigger than most guys out there, but in World Wrestling Entertainment, he’s not the resident muscleman. What gets Edge over is his personality. Seeing him carry on as a villain makes you wonder why they ever had him play a good guy. Between his facial expressions and semi-shoot comments, Copeland has carved out a spot on the roster that keeps him high in the minds of fans. This guy has had a 2006 like no one else. It’s definitely been his year and he deserves it.

No Hulk Hogan? I don’t know. I don’t have any comment on this until it plays out. It just seems strange how this happens a lot with Hulk. That’s all.

The way Triple H and Shawn Michaels have jobbed to Umaga these last few weeks has been great in terms of how they look coming out of it. They both have retained credibility and used the losses to build their feud for the PPV. It’s a really well thought out trade-off that helps everyone involved. If there has to be a criticism, it could be how the McMahons are still the last image shown on the broadcasts despite Umaga going over. However, that’s not the big story. The big story is that a new character has defeated John Cena, Ric Flair, Triple H, and Shawn Michaels all in a matter of months. It’s what they tried to do with Chris Masters, only now it’s being done with a gimmick that isn’t cookie-cutter muscleman style. Long term, it can only mean good things. Think about it like this. If he’s beaten all those guys, then who’s going to be the one to finally take him down as the true foil? Who will be the Kurt Angle to his Brock Lesnar? The Austin to his Rock? The top name that pops in my head is Bobby Lashley, which is pretty cool to think about. It would certainly symbolize the first genuine step in a new direction. I feel like that hasn’t really happened in the last decade.

So there you go. Good stuff. I didn’t fall asleep so "Hoorah" to that. While you’re here, be sure to check out the current edition of JG's Radio Free Insanity featuring Scott Steiner. It’s one of the hardest hitting episodes yet. Scotty shoots straight on Triple H, Shawn Michaels, Ric Flair, and others. It’s free and available now by clicking the “Radio Free Insanity” button on the top of the page. Also, remember that you can get World Wrestling Insanity: The Book right through the site when you click on the Book button.

Thanks again for reading. Be sure to check back tomorrow night for Mallory Mahling’s real time ECW Report. It’s Angle. It’s Sabu…and it’s tomorrow. It’s not now. That means I’m out. Be well!