The rumour has it the Tyson Tomko is walking
around with shoes tied around his knee caps and is asking
for a trade to Smackdown. It seems that Vince is hot
for a new type of talent.
Call up that friend that used to crotch
chop all the hot chicks with you in ’99, and tell
him wrestling is cool again….the Juniors are coming
baby. Exclusively to Smackdown.
The Juniors Division will be comprised
of world-class athletes at or below 5 feet tall. “Midgets,
dwarves, the little people; they’re all welcome,”
said (Teddy) Long. “We don’t discriminate
against anybody on my show, as long as they can bring
it.”
Eh, I think you just did Theodore, several
times. But at least there was no patronising, “Juniors”
is a lovely way to describe the “dwarves.”
I don’t think you can put it on posters though.
Better think of another word.
Oh, that one is much better…I’m
sure the “midgets” can’t wait for
their ‘Diaper On a Really, Really Short Pole’
match. I’m actually taking bets as to how long
it’s going to be before Randy Orton walks behind
one of them and rests his knob on one of their heads
for giggles?
“Those elves fucking rule Pop.”
Best guess is at least the midget tossing
contests will bring hours of fun to the wrestlers who
can’t play PS2 any more. Vince and company are
going to have hearty chuckles dressing and naming all
“the little people.” Bret Fart, The Ultimate
Warri-whore, Brock Lesnarlittleredpenis. Fun, fun, fun
for everyone.
Everyone, except the Cruiserweights.
Where do they go now? They’re not
the strongest, they’re not the smallest, they’re
not allowed to fly, they’re not allowed “go”,
they’re not allowed more than six minutes. They
can’t talk, they have no development, they're
routinely murdered by the Heavyweights. The Cruiserweight
Division is now, officially the Bermuda Triangle of
WWE.
In a time when the X-Division is ruling
the planet, Vince and his advisers seem determined to
ignore what they possess in their own company. They
had the option to purchase the services of those who
are putting out MOTY candidates consecutively for TNA.
He owns enough amazing talent to rival that.
“Rival it? Notwithstanding,
quite frankly, fuck that. I’m going to out small
those bastards”
And so it is. Spanky, Noble hard luck.
Again. Rey Rey, you would have had some chance if your
little frame could carry more muscle and you’d
stop all the God damn jumping around. Mexiwho? Billy
London or whatever you’re name is, hang around,
I’m sure there’s a few handicap matches
insight with ‘Taker or Batista. Akio. Sy-in-are-a.
You guys are small, but you’re no midgets.
“Get me an Island midget. We’ll
call him Samoa Low”
I smell m-o-n-e-y.
Don’t you?
***
E-Mail Paul at:
Paul@WorldWrestlingInsanity.com
