10-06-06

“Gonna be a penthouse pauper.  Gonna be a millionaire.”

Boo-yah, here we go!!

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Item # 1 – He f*cking lost??? 

Topping off my list this week...out of all things that made me shake my head over the past seven days was the debut of Jimmy Wang Yang.

For weeks, WWE has promoted this guy as a good ol’ Southern boy who just happens to be of Oriental decent.  He’s a redneck who just happens to be your boy.  Yee-haw.  Giddy-up.

The strange part?   This gimmick was actually getting over.  Whether that was the intent of WWE Creative or not...the gimmick was actually getting over.  When Yang debuted last week, he got a pretty good pop and the crowd seemed to be solidly behind him.  He was borderline-spectacular in the match, too.  Then, of course, he lost.

WHAT???

At this point, I’m absolutely baffled at the booking decision that led us to this point.  I mean, what’s the reason for pushing this guy if you’re only going to job him out when it’s all said and done? 

It’s not like he’s Shannon Moore.

It’s not like he’s Tatanka (buffalo).

It’s not like he’s the Highlanders.

It’s not like he’s Rob Conway.

Hell...it’s not like he’s Rey Mysterio.

On second thought...I guess I shouldn’t be that surprised.  It just seems like a colossal waste of time and money to me.  It’s also a tremendous waste of an opportunity when a wrestler at least has the chance to get over but is cut off before he gets the chance to begin.

Jimmy...I don’t care how many times WWE jobs you out to no-talent hacks like Sylvan...you’re still my boy.

Yee-ha.  

Item # 2 – Land shark...

Y’know, I’ve read a TON of bitching and whining and moaning about how this past Monday’s segments involving Jonathan Coachman and D-Generation X were moronic, stupid, and generally bad. 

Folks...the last time I checked this was called “sports entertainment.”  The skit(s) that took place on RAW were entertaining to people.  Complain all you want, but the live crowd was 100% into the skit from the beginning ‘til the end.

And before you complain about how dumb live audiences tend to be, just remember that these are the same live audiences that booed John Cena out of arenas while house shows cheered wildly for him.  These are the same live audiences that so many wrestling purists suggested were made up of more online “smart” fans and the house shows were primarily made up of families.  Regardless, from the opening of the program on, that live audience was into DX like it was 1998 (?) all over again.

And while recent ratings might be down for DX segments (and I’m certainly one who hasn’t enjoyed their recent insurgence), I gotta admit that I loved the hell out of the Coachman/DX skit.  Why?  Because it was original...it was unique...it was different...it was a wink at those of us at home.

Does it destroy the business?  Does it kill kayfabe?  Seriously...who f*ckin’ cares?  It was meant to be a joke and I think the majority of the fans watching certainly got it.  While somebody like Dave Meltzer might have thought it was one of the worst segments in recent RAW history, I think that he might be slightly out of touch with what the casual WWE fan/USA viewer wants to watch on Monday nights.

Of course, I might be way off course here.  Maybe I should take wrestling more seriously and join in with the rest of the IWC in the bitch-fest.  Maybe this is an insult to my intelligence.  Maybe this is really childish and immature and everybody – including DX – needs to just grow up.

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F*ck it.  I grew up with Saturday Night Live.  I watch Anchorman and Wedding Crashers.  I like Dave Chappelle and even Jim Carrey.  Childish and immature fits in quite nicely with my lifestyle, thank you very much.  Too many online wrestling fans consider themselves wrestling “purists” these days and can’t see the sports forest for the entertainment trees.  It’s too bad, actually.  They might actually enjoy it more if they did.

Item # 3 – So things needed to change because...

Apparently WWE Creative figured that Bobby Lashley vs. King Booker wasn’t going to be a big-enough draw for this weekend’s PPV.  Therefore, it’s been decided that the main event will now be a Fatal 4-way match with King Booker, Bobby Lashley, Finlay, and Batista.

But wait a second...wasn’t the match originally supposed to be Batista vs. King Booker?

Why yes, it was.  In all of their infinite genius, WWE Creative didn’t think that Batista vs. King Booker was a good idea.  Maybe it couldn’t draw...maybe there wasn’t the right pieces of a puzzle in place...maybe Batista’s slow-progressing return to action was the reason.  Whatever it was, it was decided that Lashley was going to be given the ball to run with.

Boy...was THAT a wrong move.

It should be a surprise to absolutely nobody that Lashley isn’t even close to being ready for that spot at this point and time.  Yes, he’s over...but he’s not at Lesnar’s point when he was given his opportunity.  He’s definitely a future champion, there’s no doubt.  His time, however, isn’t now.  He’ll definitely headline many a PPV going forward.  That time, however, isn’t now.

Now that the booking has changed, I might actually buy this PPV.

Item # 4 – TNA to offer Sting same deal for 2007.

That’s right, kids.  Sting’s initial 2006 run in TNA has been such a phenomenal success that TNA is going to offer him $500,000 to stick around in 2007.

Ratings are stagnant...PPV buys are stagnant...DVD sales are stagnant...after the first initial PPV buy bump, Sting did absolutely nothing for the company other than provide boring matches.

Shall I continue or do you see where I’m heading with this?  Once again...another brilliant move by TNA management.

Item # 5 – Goddammit, I just can’t stop myself.  I’m addicted...    

I’m trying to write a stupid column that people will hopefully find entertaining and I find myself absolutely riveted to the television screen watching Deal or No Deal. 

Make the lambs stop screaming, mommy...

Item # 6 – Being a freaky-ass junkie has its privileges.

Can you believe that this guy has actually been rewarded with the Intercontinental championship?  I guess showing up for work actually has its benefits.

You know what’s coming next (I don't care if he's got a belt or not)...

Item # 7 – For the betterment of mankind.

Bryan Danielson has recently stated that he would like to join the Peace Corps and has already applied once last year.  Y’know, not enough people know what they want to do with their life and go through life wondering aimlessly.  Danielson has a pretty good wrestling career going on right now, yet is taking college courses so as to better increase his chances of admission the next time he applies.

I recently gave you kudos for being one hell of a tough bastard, Danielson.  I now give you kudos for simply being a good, decent human being.  There’s not enough people like you in the world today.

Item # 8 – Just let him go, already.

Apparently, Scott Steiner is in a contract dispute with TNA.  Raise your hand if you actually give a shit.

Yeah...I didn’t think so either.

Item # 9 – Insanity Fantasy Sports!

Every new sporting season brings about a new fantasy game for the Insanity crew.  Right now, both hockey and basketball are on tap.  While the basketball season doesn’t start for another couple of weeks, hockey has already started (blame Baby ZAH for my tardiness) so we need to get some teams together ASAP!

GO HERE...:  http://hockey.fantasysports.yahoo.com/hockey/

League ID: 78374

League Password: zah

League URL: http://hockey.fantasysports.yahoo.com/hockey/78374

The live online draft is this Sunday afternoon so JOIN TODAY!!  And don’t worry if you know nothing about hockey...it’s all part of the fun.

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Pillar to Post 

Each and every week I’ll take three statements that you, the WorldWrestlingInsanity.com readers, have submitted on the hot topics du jour and then get two or three volunteers to give their thoughts and insight.  Ladies and gentlemen, this week I give you three great World Wrestling Insanity) readers Johnny Craze, traceman, and Green Teabagger!

1. Agree or Disagree
TNA’s announcement did, in fact, live up to the hype.

Johnny Craze: Agree somewhat.

All I can say is, at least the big announcement wasn't the debut of Vince Russo. They could have said that Lex Luger was coming back and that would have been better then hearing about Russo. I think the signing of Angle is a good thing but TNA should be very careful in how they use him. If he is signed to help make new, younger stars then I am all for it. However, if TNA plans to use him as a future NWA Champion, then they might have bit off more then they can chew. Angle is broken down and very capable of getting injured again. No one wants to see him die in the middle of the ring.

traceman: Agree.

Not only did the announcement live up to the hype, but TNA actually was able to keep it from getting out. Everyone was thinking it had to be something else due to the false press releases and things of that nature. This announcement was nothing but good news for TNA, not so much for the fact that they got Angle but for the fact that TNA was not being talked about. Now, everyone in the IWC is talking about TNA and the casual fan interest will go up as word gets around to the average fan.

Green Teabagger: Agree, but mostly due to the surprise factor of it.

TNA used Vince Russo as bait to get people [read: the IWC and the smarks] upset over the 'announcement' I'm sure WWE thought there was no way in hell Kurt would actually end up in Planet Jarrett TNA, but secretly hoped he would. If TNA uses him properly *knock on wood (not Aaron Wood, regular wood will do)* and can keep him from killing himself in the ring *knock on more wood*, TNA can soon become a major headache for WWE and force them to improve their product. I believe that has been part of the problem for WWE in the last several years.....no competition to worry about, no reason to put out the best possible shows.

Unless of course you meant the move to primetime, then I disagree.

2. Agree or Disagree
Chris Masters should join DX.

Johnny Craze: Disagree somewhat.

I don't think Masters joining DX will help with his career or anything. He has almost become a joke since coming back from the wellness program (even HHH joked about him losing weight on raw). However, if Vince does bring back the NWO and DX needs another member then Masters might be a good choice. As much as I would rather see the original NWO battle the original DX, that probably won't happen and Masters might be a good short term fix for DX to battle the NWO. If not, then Masters should not join DX.

traceman: Disagree.

Chris Masters should not join DX for any reason whatsoever. While I think it would be great if DX took a younger wrestler under their wing, I don't think Chris Masters has what it takes to be in the main event. Someone like a wrestler in Carlito's position would be great for DX. A great upper mid-carder with potential to move up to the main event level when he's ready.

Green Teabagger:  HELL NO.

Two reasons.

One--Chris Masters has less charisma and personality than a piece of cardboard, and like cardboard, Chris Masters is recyclable. Look what happened to him, he was recycled from a 275 lb. Lex Luger clone into a leaner 225 lb. geek. He almost made it to being a cruiserweight. He wouldn't fit in with HBK and Trips.

Two--DX should have been broken up already. I'm begging one of them to turn heel, or at least be 'forced' over to Smackdown.

3. Agree or Disagree
WWE’s decision to turn this weekend’s PPV main event into a Fatal 4-way is a good booking move.

Johnny Craze: Disagree.

With less then a week away from No Mercy, this is too late to turn the PPV into a big four way. It's not a good way to sell and if WWE wants to make a four way like this, they should have waited until Survivor Series. I'm guessing WWE doesn't think Lashley can main event yet or they just want to get the belt back on Batista. Whatever the reason, the main event should have stayed the way it was.

traceman: Agree and Disagree.

I agree on the one hand because Lashley, while he has shown improvement, is still very green. I'm not sure he's ready to wrestle a PPV main event yet on his own. On the same token, I'm skeptical Batista can turn in a great singles performance because since he's been back, he hasn't had a really good match. Having Booker and Finlay guide them together through this match could be good and save the PPV.

On the other hand, I have a feeling this could turn into a clusterf*ck if it is not booked properly. I'm just not sure if Batista and Lashley can keep up with Finlay and Booker in this match. I hope they prove me wrong because I will be at the bar watching this PPV and I don't want to be disappointed.

Green Teabagger: Agree: King Booker (all hail him...now) v. Lashley v. Batista v. Finlay will be a lot better than the two one-on-one matches that would have been there.

King Booker-Lashley would not have been horrible, but it wouldn't have been great either. This also gives both Lashley and Batista outs as to why they would not be champion if Book were to pin Finlay. Finlay has also earned this main event slot by being one of the better heels on Smackdown since returning to the ring. This will also continue to further the Booker-Batista feud as we get the eventual payoff of Batista dethroning King Booker [SIDE NOTE: With any luck, Batista will then proceed to lose it to Mr. Kennedy....KEN-NE-DYYYYY!!! ].

Will this make me buy No Mercy? No. Will it be better than the original plan? Yes.

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Thanks guys!!  I’m looking forward to seeing who gets to join me as a guest columnist next week. 

No problem.  Either e-mail me at Zah@worldwrestlinginsanity.com or hit me up at ZAH Nation, found in the Insanity Message Board and let me know that you’d like to participate.  Also, don’t forget to stop by my MySpace page and add me.

So until next week…

L8R