10-20-06

“I’ve got it bad, got it bad, got it bad...”

Boo-yah, here we go!!

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Item # 1 – Who is really the king? 

Is it this King?

Is it the King of Harts?

Is it the King of Rock’n’roll?

Is it the five-count King?

Is it the first King of the Ring?

Is it the King from CNN?

Is it the King of Ass?

Is it the King of Cock?

Is it the King of Cars?

Is it the King of Kings?

Is it King Booker?

Nah...it’s none of the above, actually.  There are two true Kings of Wrestling right now and they are kicking some major ass on the independent scene to prove their place as the number one tag team on the planet.  They are the current ROH, Chikara, and CZW tag team champions...

The Kings of Wrestling...Chris Hero & Claudio Castagnoli!!

On October 21^st, the Kings go after the Grand Slam of indie wrestling when they take on the Briscoes and Super Dragon & B-Boy in a triple threat match for the Pro Wrestling Guerrilla tag team titles.  I, for one, think the belts are as good as theirs.  There is no tag team hotter in the country and PWG would be foolish to not take advantage of them.

Best of luck, guys.  The Insanity community is behind you.

Item # 2 – I still can’t believe Britney married this guy.

Goddammit.  Even two babies later, I have a hard time understanding how this guy...

...married this chick...

...and somehow turned her into this.

And he wonders why he’s hated.

Item # 3 – Bitter?  Not at all...why do you ask?

So Kurt Angle had some things to say about WWE and Vince McMahon in a conference call this past week.  Those things included:

Ø      He claimed that he never got proper medical attention or rest while in WWE. 

Ø      He thinks WWE is in a downward spiral.

Ø      He hasn’t taken painkillers in three years.

Ø      Vince offered him a 5-year deal for his return after he asked to be released.

Ø      He worked Vince and faked being unstable in order to get his release.

Ø      He guarantees he could beat Daniel Puder in 40 seconds.

Ø      He stayed in WWE for seven years only because there were no other options.

Bullshit or not?

Listen, I want to believe Angle as much as the next guy.  However, there are just too many inconsistencies in his stories.  I was hoping that Kurt would take the high road but that appears to not be the case. 

Here’s to hoping that he can just move on with his life.  That’d be a nice change for an ex-WWE wrestler.

Item # 4 – Dream matches do still exist.

While not yet official (at least not that I’ve heard yet), two of the greatest young wrestlers in the world today are going to battle each other very soon on a very big international stage.  NOAH is trying to put together a Naomichi Marufuji vs. KENTA match to headline the October 29^th Budokan Hall show for the GHC heavyweight title.

It’s a big deal because it’s the first time that two “junior heavyweights” have ever been given the opportunity to headline a major NOAH program.  What this means is that yet another non-WWE company “gets it”.  They’re going to give the world one of the best possible matches of the year regardless of the size of the competitors.  What’s better is that these two guys have a TON of history together in Japan, so the match isn’t some hot-shot match with no heat.

What WWE, and to a certain extent TNA, needs to learn is that if given proper build-up and time, people will tune in to see a match with two smaller wrestlers.  It’s been proven before...and it will be proven time and time again. 

And it’s not even about “smaller” wrestlers...it’s about talented wrestlers.  Somebody like Rob Conway or Charlie Haas could draw money in feuds if given a Mr. Kennedy-esque push.  They could be upper mid-carders if given a Johnny Nitro-esque push. 

In most cases, the cream rises to the top.  Thankfully, the cream of the crop are pretty much everywhere except WWE at this point.

Item # 5 – Punk loses???

At the second of two shows at Budokan Hall this past week, CM Punk lost his first main roster match in what is being described as a 16-minute battle.  Who did he lose to? 

Why...Randy Orton, of course.

Listen, I’ve got no issue with this for a few reasons:

1. It wasn’t televised.
2. It wasn’t an ECW match.
3. It’s highly unlikely you’ll ever hear about it outside of the ‘Net.
4. Regardless of how Orton may be perceived by the IWC, he’s seen as a big deal by WWE management.  If Orton says that he had a great match with Punk, then that’s good news for Punk’s future.

So Punk fans don’t worry.  Don’t see this as Punk losing and his push being destroyed.  Nope...this is only the beginning of his rise to superstardom.  It wasn’t a 3-minute squash...it was a 16 minute back-n-forth match.  That’s got to be seen as a positive.

At least it is by me.

Item # 6 – We want da funk!

From the files of “Oh dear God this can’t be true” comes the latest word on the return of 2 Cold Scorpio.  If you haven’t yet guessed, it’s been decided that he will return in the classic guise of Flash Funk.

Don’t believe me?  Check this out.

So we’ve got Cryme Tyme, Tatanka, Jimmy Wang Yang, and Shelton “I’m held back because I’m black” Benjamin.  It’s only a matter of time before Saba Simba makes his long-awaited return.

Item # 7 – LOSER OF THE WEEK.

Yes folks...my new weekly regular feature for the column is back for round deux.  Each and every week, I’ll pick somebody (not necessarily always from wrestling) who has either acted in a dumb way, said something stupid, or generally was an idiot in some way, shape, or form.  This week was tough, but in the end I’ve decided that the choice for ZAH’s Loser of the Week will be...

Steve O!!

On RAW last Monday, this jackass decided to show how much of a fan he was by getting into an angle with Umaga~! and Armando Alejandro Estrada.  Basically, Umaga~! destroyed both Steve and Chris Pontius with a kick and a Samoan drop.  As the music hit and the Samoan Bulldozer began to leave, Steve was shown laughing at a fallen Chris (as Steve wasn’t destroyed as much as Chris was) instead of selling the beating.  Obviously seeing this as a sign of disrespect, Umaga~! came back into the ring and began to hit Steve a little stiff.  Estrada then helped Steve set himself up for a top-rope splash from the big man, which Umaga~! hit a little stiffer than normal.

Still...once the initial pain left (and these idiots know pain better than Mick Foley does at this point in their f*cked-up lives), Steve no-sold the beating (which resulted in more stiff offense from a pissed-off Umaga~!) and simply rolled out of the ring and went back to his seat.

It was reported on Tuesday that Steve admitted that he made a mistake in laughing at Umaga~!, but remembers nothing from the point that he was hit real hard until he was examined later by a doctor.

I don’t buy it.  It looked like Steve couldn’t wait to get a splash from Umaga~! and quickly maneuvered himself into position.  He wasn’t hit very hard before he began to laugh, and was only kicked hard once in the back before taking the splash.  He then continued to laugh after initially selling the move so that just tells me he was drunk...not loopy from being hit hard.

So Steve O...for being the unbelievably huge ignorant dumb-ass that you are, congratulations on Loser of the Week!!

Item # 8 – More Insanity Fantasy Sports!

Right now, Insanity fantasy basketball is the game on tap.  The season’s beginning is just around the corner and there is still room for a couple more teams.  All are welcome to join!

GO HERE...:  http://basketball.fantasysports.yahoo.com/nba

League ID: 52431

League Password: zah

League URL: http://basketball.fantasysports.yahoo.com/nba/52431

Don’t worry if you know nothing about basketball...it’s all part of the fun.

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Pillar to Post 

Each and every week I’ll take three statements that you, the WorldWrestlingInsanity.com readers, have submitted on the hot topics du jour and then get two or three volunteers to give their thoughts and insight.  Ladies and gentlemen, this week I give you three great World Wrestling Insanity) readers Sixgun Sloth, Betty, and Kat_bb3!

1. Agree or Disagree
A cup of coffee and a gold medal really don’t mean shit in the wrestling business.

Sixgun Sloth: This is a tricky one. Thinking about it at first I agreed. Kurt Angle is an incredible athlete, speaker and wrestler even without his gold medal (or his coffee). This is all his own natural talent, not something that relates to his possession of a medal, but would he have made as big a splash in the wrestling pond without it?

The arrogant, gold medal winning Olympian was a fantastic gimmick to launch his pro-wrestling career. It’s an easy idea to grasp and appeals to the most basic concept of a wrestling promotion: a man in pursuit of the gold - the title belts. The fact that Angle actually was a gold medal winner (and not just playing one on TV) gave him a strange kind of mystique. You could imagine that maybe his wrestling persona could really be him. The lines between the real and wrestling world blurred and you could suspend disbelief that little bit more. Here was a man you could believe would battle through anything for a title, even a broken neck.

The credibility the medal brought to Angle helped to sell his character which in turn helped sell matches that in turn helped sell PPVs, and in the wrestling business nothing’s more important than that.

Betty: Agree/Disagree.

Why I personally disagree with this, apparently Vince McMahon feels differently. It has been the unfortunate norm in this business that real athletes with real talent are passed over for hacks who don't know the difference between a wrist lock and a wrist watch (ex: Umaga, Hogan, Cena, etc). How do you treat someone who has put their body (and marriage) on the line like a piece of crap?

While I think that Kurt needed the time off to deal with his personal problems, I think that if Vince was going to fire Kurt, he should fire the other wrestlers in the company who have substance abuse problem.

I guess in Vince's eyes, Kurt was too much of a liability. Or maybe he was sick of Kurt complaining about being demoted to ECW. If you don't kiss the bosses' ass, then your gold medal and your cup of coffee don't mean sh*t in this business.

History has proven that Vince will pass over real talent and in the world of McMahon, red and yellow feather boas and a see and say belt are more valuable than a gold medal.


Hopefully TNA will do a much better job with Kurt Angle and give him the respect he deserves.

Kat_bb3: Disagree.

It may not mean everything but it is a hell of a lot better than nothing. I mean doesn’t the gold medal mean there is at least the barest minimum of talent there to work with. With some companies that are seemingly focused on the next big gimmick alone (Ahem…WWE), It absolutely means something to have talent. That seems like a desperate statement to make. I hope that Vince doesn’t actually think that he made Angle. Intensity, talent, and personality made Angle.

2. Agree or Disagree
Chris Benoit is being wasted on the United States title.

Sixgun Sloth: Disagree.

It’s nice to see Benoit back and winning a title belt straight away. So many wrestlers that have lost the World Title and have had their time in the main event spotlight get thrown into a strange kind of upper/mid-card limbo constantly churning away in non-title matches. At least this isn’t happening with Benoit.

He may be World Title material, but at the moment Smackdown has quite a few guys fighting over the top belt, and I think he’s simply going to get lost in the mix putting him into that title picture. I think too many people in pursuit of one title can really water down any rivalry between those involved.

Throwing Benoit into a feud with Kennedy and Undertaker is an ideal way to elevate Kennedy, but whoever comes out on top, they’re all going to benefit from working with each other.

Betty: Agree.

While there needs to be more contenders to the U.S. title, it shouldn't be Chris Benoit. Chris Benoit is one of the most talented wrestlers on Smackdown. Let's face it, he is more talented than Batista and his matches with Booker T in WCW were ****.

The U.S. title should be reserved for people like Bobby Lashley. Smackdown's main event roster leaves something to be desired so why waste one of your best main eventers on a secondary title? I mean I don't know how many times I can see Batista wrestle for the world title and lose.

Doesn't WWE have some talented people in their developmental territories like, I don't know, CM Punk? Why don't they bring him to Smackdown and have him wrestle for the U.S. title as a stepping stone to a future world title run.

Kat_bb3: Disagree.

I think it is the perfect title to have on him. It gives him the opportunity to give younger guys good, worthwhile feuds. Benoit is an amazing performer and has the ability to make almost any one look good. Even when he beats someone it gives them creditability to have a match with him. However if they just bury the title (like the Cruiserweight) then the title is wasted not the other way around. The only way to waste Chris is to not use him at all.

3. Agree or Disagree
RVD will reclaim the ECW title by the end of the year.

Sixgun Sloth: Agree

It certainly looks like that’s where the booking’s heading.

I think WWE are willing to give RVD another go with the belt, and it wouldn’t surprise me if we’re not too far away from seeing it happen.

RVD may even capture the title and be the ECW Champion heading into Cyber-Sunday, replacing Big Show in the big Champion vs. Champion match. It would be great to see him winning back the “spinny” title to continue the angle that WWE had to abort after his shirtless driving incident.

Let’s just hope he resists temptation this time, because I don’t think he’s going to get many more chances.

Betty: Agree.

Of course he will. Who else are they going to give the title to? Kurt Angle is gone and I don't know how long people are going to be able to handle a Big Show title run.

RVD is one of the top guys in ECW, he is ECW. The ECW fans will get restless and angry if he is not World Champ by the end of the year, and you know ECW fans aren't afraid to riot.

Besides, in WWE, you aren't worth sh*t in this business if you win a gold medal but happen to be addicted to pain killers, but you are sure to get a title run if you do a mean Rolling Thunder and Smoke some Mary Jane.

Kat_bb3: Agree.

RVD never had much of a run. He was about to be the ECW Champ to remember but he let his, um extracurricular activities, interfere. I do not think that should keep him from his title anymore, he has done the time. Besides who really wants Show to keep stomping around killing everybody. There are few other “Extremists” that really deserve the title. You know now my mind is seeing a strong CM Punk/RVD.

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Great job everybody...thanks!!  I’m looking forward to seeing who gets to join me as a guest columnist next week. 

No problem.  Either e-mail me at Zah@worldwrestlinginsanity.com or hit me up at ZAH Nation, found in the Insanity Message Board and let me know that you’d like to participate.  Also, don’t forget to stop by my MySpace page and add me.

So until next week…

L8R