11-03-06

“Everyone’s watching, to see what you will do.”

Boo-yah, here we go!!

***

Item # 1 – Cyber Sunday predictions.

·        John Cena vs. Big Show vs. King Booker

Ø      The choice voted on is which title will be defended:

v     WWE title

v     World title

v     ECW title

Ø      If you think fans are going to vote that Big Show’s title be defended at the PPV after watching the past two weeks of RAW, then you’re sadly mistaken.  The WWE title will be up for grabs here (I voted WWE title on the off-chance that they book Cena to lose).

Ø      WINNER: I’d be absolutely shocked if anybody other than John Cena walked away with the victory.  Unless there is a DQ or a count-out (and don’t dismiss that bullshit possibility), WWE’s golden boy doesn’t lose his belt on this night. 

·        D-Generation X vs. Randy Orton & Edge

Ø      The choice voted on is who will be the special guest referee:

v     Vince McMahon

v     Eric Bischoff

v     Jonathan Coachman

Ø      Jesus Christ...who cares??  I just want to see these four guys go at it.  It’ll probably be Vince voted in...but it shouldn’t really matter.  All three guys are interchangeable at this point (I voted McMahon because I don’t want to see the other two guys on my television).

Ø      WINNER: DX’s burial of the entire roster will continue with a beat-all-odds victory after a ton of interference backfires. 

·        Jeff Hardy defends his Intercontinental title

Ø      The choice voted on is who he will defend the title against:

v     Carlito

v     Shelton Benjamin

v     Johnny Nitro

Ø      I hate this type of “voting”.  I mean, WWE did everything they could possibly do to sway the votes towards Carlito in the weeks leading to the PPV.  It’s pathetic.  I’m just glad that K-Fed is no longer around (I voted for Nitro, though...because I think he’s a future superstar that deserves his continued push with another IC title reign).

Ø      WINNER:  If Carlito gets voted in (which is pretty much a given), I predict a title change. 

·        Spirit Squad defend their tag team championship against Ric Flair and a mystery partner

Ø      The choice voted on is who will be Flair’s partner:

v     Sgt. Slaughter

v     Roddy Piper

v     Dusty Rhodes

Ø      What...no Johnny Ace or Michael “P.S.” Hayes to choose from?

Ø      Personally, I voted for Dusty because I know he’ll put on a better match than either Slaughter or Piper.  I think, though, that Piper will be voted in.

Ø      WINNER: Ugh.  The sad part about this whole thing is that I think Flair and his geriatric partner will end up winning the belts and the final nail in the Spirit Squad coffin will be hammered. 

·        Umaga~! vs. ??

Ø      The choice voted on is who will face the Samoan Bulldozer:

v     Kane

v     Chris Benoit

v     Sandman

Ø      Hi Sandman...thanks for applying. 

Ø      The toss-up will be Kane or Benoit.  While Kane has some unfinished business with Umaga~!, everybody on the planet knows that Benoit would bring out a pretty damn good match with the guy formerly known as Jamal (he was my pick).  In the end, I think the fans will help Kane get some redemption.

Ø      WINNER: The winning streak doesn’t end here for Umaga~!...however, don’t be surprised by a DQ finish. 

·        Mickie James vs. Lita for Women’s Championship

Ø      The choice voted on is the match stipulation:

v     No disqualification

v     Diva lumberjacks

v     Submission

Ø      As much as I’d love to see Maria and Michelle McCool strutting around the outside of the ring, I think that the fans will vote for a No DQ match stip (my choice, as well).

Ø      WINNER: With Lita leaving WWE around Survivor Series, I wouldn’t be surprised to see her win this and then drop the belt on the way out. 

·        Cryme Tyme vs. the Highlanders vs. Haas/Viscera vs. Cade/Murdoch

Ø      The choice voted on is the match stipulation:

v     Fatal 4-way

v     Tag team turmoil

v     Texas tornado

Ø      Since the vast majority of fans don’t know the difference between all three match types, why in the hell should they give a shit?  I didn’t even vote for this one.

Ø      WINNER: Cryme Tyme’s the next tag champs so they definitely win here. 

Item # 2 – I don’t really see any dead people at all, actually.

CM Punk spent Halloween night on the Sci-Fi Channel hunting ghosts.  While I haven’t yet had the opportunity to see the 6-hour broadcast (thankfully, Insanity reader liviya has offered to send me a copy), I heard that Punk was the only entertaining portion of the show.  He had some comments to make about Samoa Joe and Colt Cabana...but they were references only fans would recognize.

I’ll go out on a limb and say it was the greatest six-hour poltergeist reality program in the history of mankind.

Y’know, my man-crush on Punk aside...it’s quite obvious that the guy is being groomed to be “the guy” in ECW and this type of exposure is a great way to start things off.  I’ve said it before and I believe it now more than ever, I see a title shot at ‘Mania next year...bank on it.

Item # 3 – Ouch...

Item # 4 – Dear God...why would I want to know this?

WWE.com is promoting the fact that Vito recently posed for Playgirl magazine.  Excuse me while I swallow the bile that just rose to the back of my throat. 

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Uh oh...it’s coming back.................

Item # 5 – At the Copa...Copacabana...

Nothing says “fun at Halloween” like seeing Colt Cabana dressed like a pink fairy while CM Punk has to keep a straight face in the ring doing an angle with Kelly Kelly and Mike Knox. 

Really...could you keep a straight face if one of your best friends looked like this?? 

Item # 6 – LOSER OF THE WEEK.

Yes folks...my new weekly regular feature for the column is back for round deux.  Each and every week, I’ll pick somebody (not necessarily always from wrestling) who has either acted in a dumb way, said something stupid, or generally was an idiot in some way, shape, or form.  This week was tough, but in the end I’ve decided that the choice for ZAH’s Loser of the Week will be...

STING!!

Get this...before his Bound for Glory match where he won the NWA title from Jeff Jarrett, Sting arrived in Michigan and was apparently so into getting himself mentally ready for this huge match that he forgot his make-up back in California.

Yes...the man who has painted his face for 20 years forgot his f*ckin’ make-up (i.e. 98% of his gimmick) for one of the biggest matches of his career.

Anyhoo, TNA had people running all over the area trying to find face paint that wouldn’t just smudge off during a match and they couldn’t find any.  At the PPV, a TNA official found a fan of the Insane Clown Posse (go figure) and asked them if they could use his make-up.  About an hour before Sting’s match, the fan ran to his car and retrieved the make-up for Sting to use.  Thus, the day was saved.

However, that doesn’t excuse Steve Borden for being so absolutely absent minded about such a key part of his entire character.  Jeez...I can’t imagine the horror if he actually had to be himself and not Sting.  ***shudders***  The match was bad enough the way it was.

Therefore, Sting...for being so obsessed with yourself that you actually forgot one of the main reasons you were even popular to begin with, congratulations on being my Loser of the Week!!

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Pillar to Post 

Each and every week I’ll take three statements that you, the WorldWrestlingInsanity.com readers, have submitted on the hot topics du jour and then get two or three volunteers to give their thoughts and insight.  Ladies and gentlemen, this week (due to my lack of input), I give you FOUR great World Wrestling Insanity) readers Wayne Yeager, Curse_7781, jtpinhead, and Crabxcore!

1. Agree or Disagree
There is no way in the world that John Cena will lose his match at Cyber Sunday.

Wayne Yeager:  Agree, somewhat.  

The way I see it, this match is designed so that the "loser" of the vote (i.e. the wrestler whose title is on the line) will win the match to retain his title, and thus, keep everything the way it was going into the pay per view.  (Why else have the three square off in teams at Survivor Series and announce that the ECW title will be defended by Big Show at the ECW PPV.)  WWE just wants to use the mixed reaction for Cena to help vote for his title to be on the line, so he can win the match and retain.  Either way, I'd be surprised if it's Cena's shoulders on the mat.    I guess it's too much to ask for the belts to be unified and have one WWE champion and three "brand" champions, much like the old NWA days.  At least then the WWE champ would be something special, instead of one of three "world" champs

Curse_7781: Agree.

It seems that the even the PPV matches have gone predictable now. I can't see anyone sane enough who watches wrestling wanting to spend money on this PPV as the voting system is rigged. How is this supposed to look legit anyway? All the other past voting-ish PPVs the WWE has done like Taboo Tuesday had the outcomes no one wanted to see. I'm sorry but this match outcome will only send the women and kids home happy and to Vince McMahon that can only mean more sales in the TV and spinning belts. They should've left the belt on Edge and thus more hardcore fans wouldn't have to bitch about how far the program has gotten with how predictable Raw has become or how there isn't a glass ceiling in the WWE despite DX and McMahon’s dominating the Raw show.

jtpinhead: Disagree.

While Cena might be the champ of the A show, Big Show has gotten a huge push lately and is being booked as unstoppable. He beat HHH, and is way above the rest of the ECW locker room. Cena's marine is nearing its end and while he may have gotten his popularity back, 1 spinny belt is more than enough. King booker is being built up as the real underhanded champ, and in a spot to lose his gold. WWE is obviously trying to sway the votes to have his title dropped. "Champion of champions" will just make big show look even more dominant. Heyman’s security guards interfering will push the Heyman/RVD storyline while making John Cena's look like the underdog. There will also probably be some double teaming on Cena to make the loss even less of a blow. King booker is booked as royal jobber. He will be pinned, and de-titled.

Crabxcore: Agree. 

With all the buildup for the match and the stops the WWE has pulled to make Cena into a true babyface for this match, there’s no way he can lose. The fact that his title will probably be on the line makes it even less likely that Booker or Show will go over. Though personally, I'd be very glad if they did. Booker and Smackdown could use the boost, badly. And frankly, with how much better the shows have been lately compared to Raw, they deserve it.

2. Agree or Disagree
It is way too early for TNA to give us Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe.

Wayne Yeager: Agree.  

I think it is.  Why did Sting-Hogan do so well for WCW back during the NWO conflict? Because it was SLOWLY built over the entire year.  It started with Sting in the rafters and built at such a slow pace, that you anticipated the time when the two would finally hook up in the ring.  It was something fresh and special.  The best angles and matches usually develop after slow builds.  It's one reason why I miss the old days of 4-6 PPVs a year, when storylines were allowed to develop for months.  In fact, TNA would've been best served to switch Christian's and Joe's places.  They should've had Joe continue the angle with taking the belt hostage and presenting it to Sting for a title shot.  Then had Christian take on Angle because Angle was the new guy trying to "steal" his thunder. Once Joe is champ, you could have a long drawn out storyline of Kurt Angle seeking the NWA championship, held by Joe.  It would add to the match by having the title on the line.  But oh well.  What's done is done.

Curse_7781: Disagree.

I think that this is the type of move TNA needs to make in order to grab the viewers attention in watching the Impact or TNA PPVs. Seriously it would be a lose-lose situation if they didn't because people would say that TNA is afraid to pull the trigger on the angles if they decided to give this money-making feud. Not to mention TNA would receive heavy criticism from fans and wrestling critics if they dragged the "brawling" too long and thus losing the fan's interest. As the way of wrestling goes, the crowds are fickle and you gotta grab their attention fast and for TNA they have to get it with something that would guarantee them coming with cash. It's funny considering that most people didn't watch the Impact shows yet the PPV buys must of been great for TNA considering most people left a lot of feedback for the last PPV in some wrestling websites.

jtpinhead: Agree and disagree.

While this is obviously giving away too much too soon, TNA needs to be on fire for the primetime slot and its 2 hour debut. It would be better for a well built later on feud for the two, to have the fans going batshit insane about it. TNA could make this feud so much more if they had the fans waiting for it. TNA is preparing big for its primetime, and I can see why they want to have the feud going. The new slot means so much for them. If the two biggest names in the company are in the spotlight, feuding with each other, giving 5 star matches, their product can go really far really fast.

Crabxcore: Agree, kind of.

While I think that this feud is gonna end up hurting either Angle or Joe a good deal, I can't see another TNA star over enough to make this work. Joe has been booked as a wrecking machine, and people buy it. While Abyss would be another good choice, TNA doesn't seem to think he's ready, and it’s a damn shame.

3. Agree or Disagree
Having Daivari/Khali and Burke/Terkay switched from SmackDown to ECW is a good move.

Wayne Yeager: Agree.  

Daivari, particularly, makes a good addition to the ECW roster.  He's a smaller guy who can win against bigger opponents because of the Khali factor at ringside.  I also like the bodyguard role Khali seems to be in at the moment, as it works better than Daivari being his manager.  As a duo, they make a believable threat to ECW wrestlers and titles.  You can have a scared heel in Daivari backed up by the muscle of Khali, who becomes a greater threat in Extreme Rules matches.  ECW is quickly becoming the place for younger wrestlers to make a name for themselves and for older wrestlers to get a new lease on life in WWE.  There's never been a better time to have Eugene show up on ECW and shed his handicapped gimmick.  Now what they need is a secondary title that can be defended on the show and give these up and comers something to go after (especially if they're going to put the ECW title on par with the World Title and the WWE Title).

Curse_7781: Disagree.

This is a good move? No one in the wrestling industry cared about them in Smackdown and they are being sent to ECW? ECW fans should be asking themselves what they have done to deserve to receive this type of punishment in order to get the Great Khali. Granted Burke/Terkay are talented wrestlers but no doubt that Khali has no business being in a ring with the ECW stars and that can only send a negative message to the ECW fans that love it now and were giving it a chance. This should be taken as a slap in the face to those that loved the original ECW and you can only do that for so long especially considering the news of the WWE creative taking over the reigns of what's gonna happen down the road in ECW. Is it the kiss of death? No, but it certainly ain't gonna leave a good impression after you finishing seeing the shows despite the C.M. Punk match.

jtpinhead: Daivari/Khali-disagree -  Burke/Terkay-agree.

I'll address each one separately, since they are very different duos.

Daivari and Khali should have stayed on Smackdown or moved to Raw. Raw is seriously lacking heels, and Khali should have moved there to fill the void. While ECW is becoming more like WWE by the episode, it should keep an identity and stay at least a little different. Besides, ECW has a good line of heels. BS, of course will main event for a while. Test wouldn't be that bad. Punk can be turned heel easily. RAW is where they should be. Putting them on ECW is ridiculous.

Burke and Terkay look like a good fit for ECW. Their shoot-boxing gimmicks can work great and bring up Burke as a future star. ECW started showcasing shoot wrestling with Chris Benoit, Kurt Angle, and Dean Malenko. The new ECW can do the same kind of thing. Both their gimmicks are pretty hardcore. Both wrestlers have the gimmick going for them, and I think can work well with CM Punk, Sandman, Test, and a few others. Terkay will probably be doing some jobbing, as he is not the most talented wrestler on the roster. Burke, if all goes well, can get a good start to his career in the ECW brand. Smart move.

Crabxcore: Agree, er., disagree, er AHHH!!

On principle, I have to disagree, if anyone embodies ECW less than Khali, I have yet to see them. That said, I think ECW should be able to hide his weaknesses better than Smackdown. However, if Big Show vs. Khali becomes the next top ECW feud, I'll get off that train of thought before I blow a vessel in my brain. On the other hand, I am VERY excited about Elijah Burke, I think he's a great talent who wouldn't be out of place even in the old ECW, and is so charismatic he can even get Terkay over.

***

Great job everybody...thanks!!  I’m looking forward to seeing who gets to join me as a guest columnist next week. 

Seriously, gang...I would love to hear from you.  At one point I had a 4-month waiting list, but I've let it dwindle to one week now (I'm a busy guy...what can I say?). 

So if you never thought about participating in my column before but think it'd be fun to try...NOW IS THE TIME!!  If you have done it before and haven't done it in awhile, let me know!  I'd like to start that waiting list all over again.  It's fun to give others an opportunity to be creative.

No problem.  Either e-mail me at Zah@worldwrestlinginsanity.com or hit me up at ZAH Nation, found in the Insanity Message Board and let me know that you’d like to participate.  Also, don’t forget to stop by my MySpace page and add me.

So until next week…

L8R