|
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
Canadian Bulldog's Breaking News: Kitty Kelley Tell-All of Linda McMahon Will "Shock, Surprise"
By Canadian Bulldog
 ...
(IMPORTANT NOTE: We are still running a contest where you can WIN a copy of World Wrestling Insanity: The Decline and Fall of a Family Empire, the book that Hardcore Legend Mick Foley has said "makes my writing look like a piece of crap." Head on over here to find out how to enter, and then keep going to my "Complete and Utter Bulldog" audio show on Club WWI for some additional clues. GOOD LUCK!!! And now, back to your regularly scheduled "Breaking News".)
By Canadian Bulldog, World Wrestling Insanity News (Hollywood, CA) - An upcoming biography of World Wrestling Entertainment Chief Executive Officer Linda McMahon by famed tell-all novelist Kitty Kelley will "shock and surprise" people, according to anonymous sources. "People see Linda McMahon on television and think she's this quiet, reserved, and slightly ugly, woman," said our source, whom we swear isn't Dr. Tom Pritchard. "But there's a whole other side to her that will come out in this book." Among the dirt allegedly spilled in the book "Linda McMahon: Wrestling Whore" are the following claims: In February 1992, husband and WWE Chairman Vince McMahon came home to find Linda in bed, snorting IcoPRO off the backs of WBF Bodystars Gary Strydom, "The Future" Jim Quinn and Cameo Kneuer. She killed the original Dink The Clown during a 1994 argument over an evening's payoff. Stephanie McMahon was fathered not by Vince, but rather Harley Race. In the late-1990's, she was often seen backstage chanting Satanic verses along with members of The Ministry of Darkness. She came up with the entire WCW/ECW InVasion angle and threatened to "bitch slap" anyone who tinkered with her storylines. Her ill-advised attempt to market Ravishing Rick Rude-brand condoms in 1989. Once spotted running out of Titan Towers, chasing after Sean Mooney with a tire iron. She had a torrid four-year love affair with Mister Bob Backlund that culminated in the December 1983 "throw in the towel" finish. She was originally going to be the person behind GTV.
However, proof of the book's existence thus far is slim. Apart from a book cover that we admit COULD have been photoshopped by the same jerks who do up phony "Return of Bret Hart" posters for the Survivor Series, there is no evidence the book has been published, green-lit, or even written. (Unlike other wrestling-related books such as this one and this one, which we at World Wrestling Insanity News can proudly vouch for.) And Kelley, who has previously written tell-alls on Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, Elizabeth Taylor, Nancy Reagan and others, surprisingly did not return phone calls when contacted by a website about professional wrestling. This makes us just think that she's trying to keep the book launch a secret for now. "Just wait till you get to know the real Linda," laughed our source. "She'll rue the day she forced herself on me, or my name's not Tom Pri… I mean… uh, Tom… Zenk." -30- Canadian Bulldog is a borderline journalist who writes weekly for World Wrestling Insanity and Online Onslaught and has published his own book of nutty e-mails to wrestlers. See his obscenely expensive Canadian BullBLOG for more details. He welcomes your comments at CanadianBulldog@worldwrestlinginsanity.com
|
| © 2005-2007 All content contained here Copyright 2006 by James Guttman *** World Wrestling Insanity and ClubWWI are not affiliated with any wrestling promotion. |
