11-17-06

“Satellites send me picture, get it in the eye.”

Boo-yah, here we go!!

***

Item # 1 – The POUNCE comes to WWE...period.

Well it’s official.  Monty Brown has signed with WWE.  Everybody sit back and pause and reflect at this moment.  This is the first TNA-bred star that WWE has signed away from TNA.  That, folks, is a big deal.

But what is it about Monty that makes him a star in the first place?  I’ll be the first one to say that I’ve never been a huge fan of the guy.  I thought he had charisma and decent in-ring ability, but I never EVER got his gimmick.

He was a cat.  Period.

He was supposed to be a lion from the Serengeti.  He acted like a caged animal (I guess) on the way to the ring and actually tried to clean himself by licking the ring ropes once he entered the ring.  He wore leopard-print trunks.  He acted like a goof.

Knowing WWE as I do, I would be absolutely SHOCKED to see Monty Brown enter the Fed with the same gimmick he had in TNA.  The official announcement on the site refused to even acknowledge the company, much less his tenure there (and why should they?)...so I don’t expect to see much of anything that’s similar to his prior character.

Except, maybe, for the Pounce.  I hate the catchphrase and I’m not a big fan of the finisher, but Brown’s got a good thing there.  Don’t be surprised if he takes the move and uses it with a new gimmick.

This, however, I found quite humorous:

Despite his confidence in his abilities, Brown said that before he makes his in-ring debut, he will continue to eat, breathe and sleep this business as he closely studies tape after tape of WWE action with his notebook in hand.

“Coming to WWE is a definite blessing and a privilege,” he said. “To come and work for the Mecca of all Meccas, I’m just anxious to start. I’m looking forward to getting in the mix and being part of the WWE family,” Brown added.

Does nobody remember the biggest knock on Monty Brown during his tenure in TNA to begin with?  Jeez...this guy might just be calling Deep South “home” for the next little while.

Oh...and think about this...do you really think that WWE will take the first ever TNA-bred star to “defect” over to WWE and then make him a WWE superstar??  If anything, I potentially see Brown playing the MVP role as glorified jobber.  I mean, how many WCW stars were given fair treatment by WWE?

Good luck, Monty.  I think you’re going to need it.

Item # 2 – And his ass, and his ass...

Goddammit...I can’t get that song out of my head.

Item # 3 – LAX just got that much better.

Senshi, or to the rest of the normal world Low Ki, has just been given the green light to join TNA’s best and hottest faction, the Latin American Exchange.  ROH fans have known for a long time just how close Ki and Homicide are, and that both ‘Cide and Konnan have been clamoring for Ki to be part of LAX for quite awhile now.

Well, now that Senshi has no apparent direction or storyline since losing his title inexplicably to Chris “I suck the charisma out of every room I walk into” Sabin, this is a brilliant move.  Senshi will blend in perfectly with LAX...although he may have to change his name a bit away from the Japanese flavor to something a little spicier.

TNA’s tag team division just got that much better.

Item # 4 – But will she do the maniacal laugh as part of her gimmick?

Congratulations to Natalie Neidhart on getting offered a WWE developmental deal recently.  While not 100% confirmed that she signed, this is a big deal for her as she has worked her ass off to become an excellent in-ring competitor. 

With the recent signings of both Harry Smith and TJ Wilson, there seems to be more and more reasonable likelihood that a Hart Foundation 2.0 is about to be created.  They are all talented performers and I, for one, couldn’t be more excited for them... 

...unless they also signed Teddy Hart...but WWE rarely signs bat-shit insane people unless they eat worms. 

Item # 5 –  Biggest non-surprise of the week.

Ashley Massaro is posing for Playboy.  Yawn.  Been there, done that (NSFW). 

Item # 6 – The Game vs. “The Game”?

As per PWInsider:

Popular Compton bred rapper The Game was recently asked in an interview with RapReviews.com about WWE pursuing him legally over the rights to “The Game” nickname. The Game said, "Yeah, Triple H is tryin’ to sue me for "The Game." I think that we should just take it to Pay Per View and have a wrestling match, man, so I can f*** him up because I'm not into that whole play wrestling thing." Game admitted to being a wrestling fan in the Hogan/Ultimate Warrior/Sting era but says that he doesn’t follow the industry today.

Now, I’m not the brightest guy in the world, but I’m trying to figure out who comes out looking worse at this point...

-         Triple H for being...well...Triple H?

-         The Game for being the stereotypical rapper gangsta?

-         WWE lawyers for initiating yet another ego-driven, frivolous lawsuit?

Well, I’ll go for the third one here.  It’s just stupid.  Who cares?  Why waste time and money on something that will, more than likely, get thrown out at the end of the day?

I guess, though, that after the whole World Wildlife Fund debacle, WWE feels that they’ve got rights to just about everything and everybody.  Thank goodness nobody has decided to call themselves “Mr. McMahon’s Ass” yet.  THEN there’d be some trouble.

Item # 8 – LOSER OF THE WEEK.

Yes folks...my new weekly regular feature for the column is back for another round.  Each and every week, I’ll pick somebody (not necessarily always from wrestling) who has either acted in a dumb way, said something stupid, or generally was an idiot in some way, shape, or form.  This week was tough, but in the end I’ve decided that the choice for ZAH’s Loser of the Week will be...

Big Dick Johnson!!

God...just stop.  Please.

Pretty please.

Stop it.

Ahem...therefore...because Big Dick Johnson is who he is and does what he does, congratulations on being my Loser of the Week!!

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Pillar to Post 

Each and every week I’ll take three statements that you, the WorldWrestlingInsanity.com readers, have submitted on the hot topics du jour and then get two or three volunteers to give their thoughts and insight.  Ladies and gentlemen, this week I give you three great World Wrestling Insanity readers: Cris Johnson, koolbluecat, and vinrob!

1. Agree or Disagree
Shelton Benjamin’s talent is being severely wasted right now.

Cris Johnson:  AGREE.

When Shelton Benjamin was teamed with Charlie Haas in Team Angle, I really thought it would only be a matter of time before he was elevated to main event status. Then there was the mini-feud with Triple H. Who can forget those early near falls with Benjamin putting his index finger and thumb close together, as if to say, "I'm this close to beating you," along with that cocky, endearing smile. I'm sure I wasn't the only one who was sure we were seeing the next star. The man has 2 out of the 3 things most stars have to be a huge success - he's got charisma to spare, wrestling skills and an incredible move set. He's only lacking big time promo skills, but even after his jump to Raw, I didn't think he was that bad. Basically, Shelton could be making a run for the world title now if they had kept his career on track following his singles jump to Raw. Unfortunately, a stupid run with his "mama" and a current crybaby-claiming-racism gimmick has killed any chance that he has at being considered a serious competitor. The way I see it, he probably would need a solid year of rebuilding to be considered even a distant threat to any titles...and no, the Tag Titles don't count in my eyes. With the way WWE is currently being run, I see Shelton wasting away until he's released, probably soon after WrestleMania this year.

koolbluecat: Strongly agree.

Shelton was on fire when he first jumped ship to RAW beating the likes of Triple H and others. Then he went on a losing streak. WWE decided to play on it by bringing in an actor to play his "mother". Low and behold he started winning again. Then when his momma disappeared, he started losing again. Now he rarely appears on RAW and when he does its to the play the race character that D-Lo Brown played for awhile. Shelton is a great in ring performer who should be main-eventing RAW instead of nothing.

Vinrob: Agree

If you’re not down with DX, then I got two words for ya…NO STORYLINE!!!!! 

DX has completely infected RAW.  So if you are not tied to their storyline, then you have nothing, or at least nothing worth tuning in for (See Carlito).  Cade /Murdoch and Hass/Viscera get more air time (on Raw, Heat doesn’t count) than Benjamin only because of their tie to DX.  Sure they are getting squashed, but they are getting airtime and are tied to a storyline on WWE’s flagship show (no matter how bad it sucks). The only real thing on RAW not tied to DX right now is the IC title, and personally, I don’t think that title is worth Shelton’s time anymore.  He’s been there, and done that.  Shelton should be in a feud with Cena for the WWE title right after Survivor Series.  So yes, Shelton’s talent is being wasted.  However, his talent will be severely wasted if he’s put into anything that is not related to a world title storyline.

2. Agree or Disagree
TNA’s 2-hour premiere rating will not go above 1.1.

Cris Johnson: AGREE

While I'm as big of a fan of TNA's current storyline with Angle and Joe, let's face facts. Angle by himself has never been a huge draw. He's an incredibly skilled wrestler with all the necessary tools, but he never has had that special hook, like Austin’s anti-establishment rebel attitude, Rock's movie star-persona and charisma or Hogan's super hero persona, to really launch himself into mainstream America. He's always been in the
position, even as a headliner, of being one more cog in the overall machine. One only has to look at the absolutely INCREDIBLE Iron Man match with Brock Lesnar on Smackdown a few years ago to prove this point. It was about as perfect a match as you could hope, but the ratings, for whatever reason, didn't reflect it. Add to that the fact that TNA's hot one week/cold the next booking hasn't allowed them to build any ratings momentum and I'll go on record as to say if TNA even breaks a .9 I'll be thrilled. With as
lackluster and boring as WWE has been, I'm HOPING TNA does a 2.0 out of the gate, but realistically, it ain't happening...not without some patience and long term booking. They have the talent on their roster to spare, but they don't have a large enough fan base yet. My fingers are crossed, though.

koolbluecat: Disagree.

I think people will tune in to see what TNA will do with a non-PPV two hour show. I certainly will. Plus it adds excitement and boosts TNA's credibility as a second choice in the wrestling business.

vinrob: Disagree

TNA’s 2-hour premiere will get a rating over 1.1 for the main reason of Kurt Angle.  Wrestling fans, internet fans, and even casual fans are anxious to see Kurt’s in ring performance, whether it’s good or bad.  People are going to want to see if he’s stiff, how he bumps, his conditioning, everything.  Kurt is going to be under the microscope, and everyone is going to want to chime in their opinion.  I will say that if the overall show does not achieve a rating over 1.1, the Angle timeslot will spike up (no pun intended) past 1.1.

3. Agree or Disagree
WWE should take the same approach to announcing all PPV matches as they have done with this year’s Survivor Series.

Cris Johnson: DISAGREE.

WWE's website is a mess - a conflicting array of kayfabe and "real" info, along with their own head-spinning propaganda machine. Besides, announcing matches on the web goes counter to Booking 101. Most money matches are/should be based on the resolving of a feud, chase for a title, revenge, and so on. Announcing them on the web, and then trying to jump-start the angles after the fact, is backwards. In years past, Survivor Series match-ups, especially the elimination tag matches, were built up slowly over several weeks. Nearly every participant had a beef with someone on the opposing side. This year, the teams seem to be pretty haphazard. There's very little intrigue as to the match-ups. The "main" match, with DX's team versus the Rated RKO team, will probably be another example of Triple H's bigfooting. And the fact that CM Punk is on DX's team worries me. I think he's going to get knocked down a few pegs. (Sorry, ZAH.) Again, I hope I'm wrong... The other "main" tag matches? The Old Guard vs. Spirit Squad? Snore. Big Show's team vs. Cena's team? Snore. The fact that the matches were announced on the
web is a dangerous assumption - that every potential purchasing customer not only is online regularly enough to visit wwe.com but also goes there often enough to stay on top of current developments...not good. I think the web is a great tool, but as a business owner myself, I know that to rely that heavily on the web for a money-making venture not based in the web itself is verrrrry risky.

koolbluecat: Disagree.

It shows how lazy writers are this year by not building up to Survivor Series two to three months ago. This PPV seems rushed. Some characters facing each other have had little or no interaction at all this past year. It makes no sense to just throw every Tom, Dick, and Harry in a match and expect it to go over with the fans. However it does have a bright spot in it as Team DX with CM Punk and the Hardy Boyz will own.

vinrob:  Agree

This is the one thing WWE appears to be doing right.  As bad as WWE TV is right now, people seem to want to see Survivor Series which is odd because logically (yeah, I know) if the TV programming is abysmal (and it is), then why bother ordering the PPV?  I give a lot of credit to those who set up the PPV announcement in this format.   While it might not be needed for a PPV like WrestleMania, it will definitely help the other PPV’s throughout the year.

***

Great job everybody...thanks!!  I’m looking forward to seeing who gets to join me as a guest columnist next week. 

No problem.  Seriously, gang...I would love to hear from you.  I've got a one week waiting list at this point and I love having new readers participate. 

So if you never thought about participating in my column before but think it'd be fun to try...NOW IS THE TIME!!  If you have done it before and haven't done it in awhile, let me know!  I'd like to start that waiting list all over again.  It's fun to give others an opportunity to be creative.

Either e-mail me at Zah@worldwrestlinginsanity.com or hit me up at ZAH Nation, found in the Insanity Message Board and let me know that you’d like to participate.  Also, don’t forget to stop by my MySpace page and add me.

So until next week…

L8R