Eugene Sandow is
a lawyer based in Washington, D.C. He has been watching
professional wrestling since 1985. He has strong opinions
and even stronger ways of presenting them. Mr. Sandow
is well known as an articulate and intelligent member
of the Insanity Message Boards.
Mike Rickard is
a lawyer based in New York. He has been watching professional
wrestling for most of his life. As the current webmaster
of www.WrestleInfo.com,
Mike spends time studying the history of the industry.
His work on Derek Burgan's Gumgod.com
has been described as insightful and entertaining.
Crazy Uncle Ralph
is James Guttman's angry Uncle. When he heard the name
of James's upcoming book, he immediately registered
the domain name "www.WorldWrestlingInsanity.com"
In exchange for the site's name, he demanded that James
give him a weekly writing gig. He hasn't watched wrestling
since the early '80s and even then he didn't like it
much. He's a big drinker and was once arrested for urinating
in the Ball Pit of a McDonald's Playland.
***
1) Will Joey Styles
succeed in WWE?
Eugene Sandow:
Joey Styles will not
succeed in WWE. Joey Styles might be the best possible
choice to replace Jim Ross, but I don’t believe
he’ll be given a genuine opportunity in the WWE
jungle. If Joey Styles becomes the permanent play-by-play
man on Raw, the entire first year apparently will be
a long “trial” period. That’s too
long a period of uncertainty for Styles to survive in
the Darwinian WWE. If Styles were to receive a big money
long-term contract, things might be different, because
WWE (read: Vince McMahon) would have to justify the
large salary to themselves, if not to company stockholders.
If, however, things are as I understand them, which
is that Styles is not guaranteed anything for more than
a year, he’ll eventually sink from the forces
allied against him.
It’s no secret that
WWE was strongly down on Joey Styles straight until
he was placed in the Taboo Tuesday spot. After signing
a contract with WWE, Styles angered the company by (1)
openly criticizing WWE on the web, (2) attempting to
take part in a “competing” pay-per-view
(Styles was under the mistaken impression that his contract
permitted him to announce on taped, but not live, pay-per-views),
and (3) bragging – perhaps with no justification
– that his contract would allow him to announce
for both WWE and UFC. Vince McMahon might forgive, but
he never forgets. Joey Styles is nothing more than a
band aid, brought in as an emergency interim replacement
for the insufferable Jonathan Coachman until WWE finds
its actual replacement for Jim Ross (which might end
up actually being Jim Ross – it wouldn’t
shock me to see Ross as Raw announcer again in early
2006).
No chance, that’s what he’s got, no chance
in hell.
Mike Rickard:
A friend of mine once gave me some good advice
when it comes to relationships. She said “You
don’t go from sugar to shit”, the meaning
being if you’re going to drop someone for another
person, it had better be to upgrade. Looking at the
current situation with the WWE and its announcers, it’s
clear that Vince has gone from sugar to shit. While
the Coach character does a good job as a heel and a
backstage interview guy, his work as an announcer leaves
a lot to be desired. It’s an opinion shared by
a lot of people and you have to question the mindset
that equates dumping the best announcer in the business
for one of the worst.
Whether it’s the fans’ backlash
against JR’s removal from RAW or the obvious fact
that Coachman isn’t cutting it, the WWE has been
forced to reconsider the question of who will call Monday
Night RAW. Always one for a quick fix, the WWE has turned
to ECW’s own Joey Styles. Styles play by play
work in ECW is fondly remembered by fans and given the
success of The Rise and Fall of ECW and ECW One Night
Stand, the WWE is probably counting on luring back ECW
fans with Styles addition to the announce table.
Clearly, Joey Styles is someone that
knows how to call a show. He knows the moves, the wrestlers,
and he knows that an announcer’s job is to build
the matches. Like any non-homegrown talent in the WWE,
the question that needs to be answered is whether or
not he can adapt to the WWE style. Will Styles be able
to call matches the way he likes to or will Vince McMahon
treat Styles as if he were nothing more than a ventriloquist’s
dummy wearing an ECW t-shirt to lure in “the ECW
crowd”.
Styles has the tools needed to be a successful
announcer in the WWE, especially if he is allowed to
call matches the same way that he called them in ECW.
He is a good play by play man and I think that fans
could easily grow accustomed to him calling the matches.
Styles enthusiasm for wrestling is apparent and he calls
the matches in a way that doesn’t insult the intelligence
of the fans (something that Michael Cole would do well
to learn). Styles is never going to replace Jim Ross
but he can make the loss of “Good ‘Ol J.R.”
more palatable.
There’s no question that Styles
can succeed but at the same time, there’s no guarantee
either. Styles will have to adapt to the unique (to
say the least) work environment of the WWE. It will
be interesting to see how Styles deals with Vince McMahon
telling him to call the matches. Another challenge will
be adapting from a solo commentator role to that of
a team player. Will Styles be able to call his matches
as he likes to with the color commentary of Jerry Lawler
(PUPPIES!) and Jonathon Coachman’s blunder by
blunder style of announcing added to the mix?
And then there’s the backlash from
Jim Ross’ fans. No matter how good of a job Styles
does, there will be resentment by fans who miss Jim
Ross. This isn’t the first time that the WWE has
tried to replace Jim Ross. Many fans consider Jim Ross
to be the voice of the WWE and in their minds he is
irreplaceable. This time the WWE seems determined to
replace Ross as an announcer but if there is enough
of a backlash, the WWE could be forced to bring him
back. Styles finds himself working in the very large
shadow of Jim Ross and this will likely be his biggest
challenge in finding success in the WWE.
Uncle Ralph: So Vince
called me like, what was it, Tuesday of last week. He
was all, "Ralph, come to Monday Night WrestleMania,
or whatever the f**ks ya call it. He wanted me to do
the announcing, but I was in jail. Had I been out of
jail, perhaps with the help of two lawyers that I write
with, I could be on Monday Night Smackdown, or whatever
the f**ks ya call it. But no. No Ralph. Now you're all
stuck listenin' to Julia Styles do commentary, damn
it. Ha! I hated "Save the Last Dance!"
2) Was Steve Austin right or wrong to walk out
of his match at Taboo Tuesday?
Sandow: Irreversible
damage would have been done to Steve Austin’s
character by jobbing to Coach at Taboo Tuesday. Therefore,
ultimately I would say that Steve Austin did the right
thing by not wrestling Coach. I must, however, qualify
that conclusion by saying that Steve Austin is not at
all blameless for this latest Austin/WWE fiasco. (It’s
Austin’s third WWE walk out, so he appears to
be going for some kind of record. Who’s Austin’s
competitor for greatest number of walk outs? I believe
it might be none other than...Hulk Hogan.)
Neither Austin nor McMahon should have agreed to the
Taboo Tuesday return without a meeting of the minds
on what was going to occur in the match. Word is that
Austin assumed he was going over, but, under the circumstances,
Austin should never have agreed to return without knowing
exactly where the booking was headed. I’m skeptical
that Steve Austin naively believed he was going over
Coach. Sure, the television build would lead a logical
observer to believe that Austin would defeat Coach and
Jim Ross would triumphantly return to Raw, but there
were other things occurring that led almost everyone
in the company – including Jim Ross – to
believe that Ross was finished as Raw’s lead announcer.
Moreover, Jim Ross would not have been capable of returning
to Raw until two or three weeks following the pay-per-view.
Are we to believe that Austin never considered how anticlimactic
Ross’s return would be a month down the line?
What did Austin think was going to happen on the Raw
following Taboo Tuesday? Jim Ross and Steve Austin are
genuine friends; is it even possible the thought that
he would be asked to put over Coach never crossed Austin’s
mind? This is the same Steve Austin who has always been
concerned – some would say to the point of paranoia
– with protecting his character. Under the circumstances,
Austin had to realize Coach probably would be booked
to go over. Steve Austin is an intelligent man and should
have inquired further before agreeing to the return.
Why, then, did he not do so? My guess is that Austin
felt like serving a receipt on Vince McMahon, who screwed
Austin at the Raw Homecoming on October 3 by having
Hulk Hogan challenge Austin without Austin having agreed
to the scenario in advance. McMahon attempted to back
Austin into a corner, as Austin will appear to have
“backed down” if the match doesn’t
come to fruition. This kind of gambit surely did not
endear McMahon to Austin, and likely had the exact opposite
effect.
Austin might have bided his time, waiting for his opportunity
to back McMahon into a corner. It didn’t take
long for opportunity to come knocking, either. Austin
was asked to wrestle his first match in over two and
a half years against, of all people, Coach, an announcer.
(What?) No matter who was booked to win (What?), the
match would have been an utter waste of a potential
big money return. (What?) Conspicuously, Austin is not
told and does not inquire about the finish. (What?)
Austin agrees to the match. (What?) Everyone, however,
seems to believe Coach is going over. (What?) Did Austin
completely lose his mind? (What?) No, Austin did not
lose his mind.
Austin did not necessarily believe he was going over.
With so many uncertainties involved in the match, Austin
clearly did not agree to an enforceable contract to
wrestle Coach at Taboo Tuesday. Thus, Austin at any
point was free to walk away from the match. Austin knew
there was a good chance that he was going to be asked
to do the job for Coach. Once he was asked to do the
job – four days before the show – Austin
had his excuse for backing out (I have a bridge to sell
to those who believe Austin didn’t work the match
because he hurt himself moving furniture), and an opportunity
to back McMahon into a corner. Four days before the
pay-per-view and its main selling point was gone. McMahon
was forced to scramble to put together an on the fly
Dave Batista/Coach/Goldust/”I Ate A Van”
Vader angle, which at best was only slightly embarrassing
to the company. On top of that, McMahon in response
couldn’t even bury Austin in any significant way,
which you just know he wanted to do. Why couldn’t
McMahon bury Austin? Well, you see, there’s this
little matter of a Wrestlemania main event five months
down the line....
Steve Austin knew exactly how things were likely to
play out. Obviously, Vince McMahon should have discussed
the finish with Steve Austin before advertising the
match, but Austin deserves at least a portion of the
blame for WWE not delivering the major selling point
for Taboo Tuesday.
Rickard: Steve Austin
will be remembered as one of the greatest wrestlers
in history and one of the few people to stand up against
promoters for what he believes in. Once again, when
the WWE has asked him to do something blatantly stupid,
he has responded with the backstage equivalent of the
middle finger that made his anti-hero character so popular
with fans.
This isn’t the first time that
Austin has taken his ball home. When asked to do a meaningless
job to Brock Lesnar during Lesnar’s first big
push, Austin vetoed the idea, correctly pointing out
that the WWE would make a lot more money running an
Austin/Lesnar match AFTER Lesnar had rightfully gone
over as “The Next Big Thing”. Austin also
walked out when he felt that the WWE’s writing
team was running the company into the ground. Given
the current state of the WWE product, it’s amazing
that Austin has even considered coming back.
To debate the rightfulness of Austin’s
actions, you have to eliminate the notion that there
is anything remotely resembling loyalty in the world
of professional wrestling. Drive the thought it from
your mind the same way you did the thought of Mae Young’s
puppies flapping in the breeze on pay-per-view. There
is no such thing as loyalty in wrestling. Vince McMahon
(and just about every promoter in the business) has
a strong sense of loyalty to the American dollar but
once a wrestler has lost the ability to draw said dollar,
they are quickly shown the door, sometimes with a pat
on the back before they leave (WWE Hall of Fame) but
out the door nonetheless. There have been exceptions
(Gorilla Monsoon comes to mind) but if you think they’re
the rule, go ask Pat Patterson, Dave Hebner, or Percy
Pringle how much loyalty means to the WWE.
In many fans’ minds, the question
of whether or not Austin did the right thing in walking
out depends on his motivation. Unlike wrestlers who
walk out because they want more money or because they
want to be world champion forever, Austin’s walk-outs
have always had at the core of them, a desire to do
what is best for the business. As mentioned earlier,
losing to Brock Lesnar at the beginning of Lesnar’s
push was a lousy idea. It was a stupid decision and
one that Austin was right in saying no to. Austin was
equally right in saying no to doing a job to Coach at
Taboo Tuesday and here’s why.
There is no one working in the WWE who
has the popularity or drawing power of “Stone
Cold” Steve Austin. The problem is that Austin
only has a few (if that) matches left in him, his neck
having succumbed to one to years of injuries and a botched
Piledriver that ended his career years before it should
have. Austin is like the super weapon you get in a video
game with one or two charges in it. You don’t
use it to blow away grunts, you save it for the bosses.
Likewise with Austin. If the guy only has one or two
matches left, you don’t put him into the ring
against an announcer and you don’t use him on
a small stage. How plans for Austin to face Hulk Hogan
at Wrestlemania XXII changed to Austin losing to Jonathon
Coachman at Taboo Tuesday are just another example of
how screwed up the WWE think tank really is.
Obviously financial motivation has to play a part in
Austin’s decision to forego a meaningless match
at Taboo Tuesday for a more rewarding match at Wrestlemania.
If Austin only has a match or two left in him (and according
to some reports, doctors have told Austin that he shouldn’t
even consider wrestling one match), then he should make
sure it’s one where he’s going to make some
money. There’s nothing wrong with this because
a money-making match for Austin means a considerable
amount of money for the WWE too. It’s a mutually
beneficial situation but one that only Austin seems
to understand. Unfortunately the only way to get the
WWE’s attention is by taking bold action such
as Austin has done.
Uncle Ralph: Look, I try not to get too worked
up, but this is ridiculous. If the WWF had the Six Million
Dollar Man under contract and they lost him, it was
their own damn fault. Holy God, man. He was a major
star of the TV back in the olden days. Give him whatever
he wants to stick around. He wants to have sex with
robots, well then you get off your ass and got get him
some friggin' robots!
3) Complete this statement. In order to
be a true competitor to WWE, TNA needs to...
Sandow: In order to be
a true competitor to WWE, TNA needs to make a serious
play for Christian and Chris Benoit, the former whose
WWE contract has already expired and the latter whose
contract will expire shortly. TNA let Mick Foley slip
through its fingers (which I think was a mistake), but
should not pass on the opportunity of picking up available
“WWE” talent that lacks the stench of Rhino
failure. Christian would be a great acquisition, but
Chris Benoit would be a bona fide coup.
Benoit was WWE world champion just a little over a year
ago, and had been put over on television by both HHH
and Shawn Michaels. Recently, Benoit has been used to
bring some prestige back to the United States title,
defeating his predecessor in less than thirty seconds
in a series of televised matches. Chris Benoit, upon
entering TNA, would be perceived by fans as a star and
not as a WWE reject, and is someone who could truly
take the company to new heights by creating what would
in effect be WWE-level TNA stars. The rumor is that
Chris Benoit’s contract expires in three weeks
and WWE gave him a low-ball renewal offer. Panda Energy
has the financial wherewithal (and TNA itself can offer
Benoit the creative freedom) to at least to make a serious
play for Benoit. Benoit should be brought in as soon
as possible, either immediately, or in three months
if he has a 90 day non-compete clause in effect. Benoit
should be the guy who beats Jeff Jarrett for the TNA
title, and, three or six months later, Benoit should
in turn drop the belt to either Monty Brown or Samoa
Joe. At this point in Benoit’s career, he’d
be much more valuable in making new stars (e.g., Joe,
Styles, Aries, etc.) than in being the guy who the company
builds around. He should get a short run with the title,
and thereafter should strategically be used to “make”
talent. It’s the perfect spot for Chris Benoit,
and could create a perception of parity between the
wrestling organizations more quickly than anything else
that’s currently feasible.
Rickard: Be patient. TNA needs to bide its
time and grow its audience on Spike. They have the talent
and they have the right wrestling mindset to succeed.
What they need now, most of all is the time to show
fans that they have an alternative to the WWE. As I’ve
said before, there are a lot of wrestling fans out there
who don’t watch wrestling because they don’t
like the WWE and they think it’s the only product
out there. There are lots of fans waiting to come back
to wrestling if it’s done right. Right now TNA
is doing things right and they just need time to get
them back.
Edmund Burke once said patience will
achieve more than force. It’s something TNA needs
to recognize. They are not WCW. They cannot afford a
bidding war with the WWE or any other type of war. Some
people have suggested that TNA needs to make a bold
move like running Impact against RAW but that is suicidal
thinking. Despite the fact that TNA aired over two years
of weekly PPV’s, their product is a new product
in the eyes of many people. When WCW ran Nitro against
RAW, they had the brand name recognition of World Championship
Wrestling going with it. It’s possible that fans
would tune out RAW and tune in to Impact in droves but
it’s more likely that the WWE would take notice
of Impact and do everything possible to crush it both
on the air and behind the scenes.
While we’re discussing what TNA
needs to do, let’s also discuss what they shouldn’t
be doing:
1. Signing “big
name” WWE superstars- sure it would be nice to
have a Hulk Hogan, Brock Lesnar or Mick Foley on the
show. The fact of the matter is that TNA does not have
the cash to lure a major superstar. Even if they did,
other than the name recognition, are they going to build
a company around them? When I think about the WWE’s
comeback against WCW, I don’t think of old-timers
who got me to switch from WCW to WWE. What made me switch
the channel was seeing guys like Austin, Mankind (Mick
Foley), DX, and Triple H, home grown stars and guys
who weren’t utilized properly in WCW. I see the
same thing happening with TNA. They have an incredible
amount of young talent who are at the points in their
career where they could really break out and become
“The Next Big Thing” – A.J. Styles,
Christopher Daniels, and Samoa Joe.
2. Hotshot into the ratings-
hot-shot booking may lead to temporary ratings increases
but TNA needs to stay the course. It goes without saying
that putting the belt on Samoa Joe at the Bound for
Glory PPV would have pleased his fans from Ring of Honor
but just like Austin wanted to wait until Lesnar had
grown to superstar status before facing him, it’s
better to introduce Joe to a bigger audience, build
him up, and then run a money making program with the
world champion.
As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, This
time, like all times, is a very good one, if we but
know what to do with it. Whether or not TNA uses it
time effectively remains to be seen but patiently staying
the course seems like the best way for TNA to become
a true competitor to the WWE.
Uncle Ralph: Well, I know one place they can
start. There's this dog next door that barks all night.
All night! He keeps me up and I scream, "Shut that
dog up, you sons of bitches!" Still, that dog just
barks. So, I would suggest that TNE could become a major
competition to WWF if they came to my house and killed
that friggin' dog. I don't care how they do it. Send
Dixie Carter over with a rifle. Hell, send Rue McClanahan
over with a baseball bat for all I care. Send em all.
Just do me this one favor! Come on, TNT! What else have
I ever asked of you!?
Like Ralph Waldo Entenmann's once said,
"Go to Ralph's house and kill that f**kin' dog!"
***
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