11-24-06

“One look could kill.  My pain, your thrill.”

Boo-yah, here we go!!

***

Item # 1 – Survivor Series predictions.

Ø      Yeah...everybody knows how much I want Punk to be one of the final survivors.  I just don’t know if it’s gonna happen.  Really, in order to make this feud last longer than one month the heels really have to win and get their heat back.  With the babyfaces totally dominating over the past couple of weeks (i.e. DX destroying everybody), I see the set-up for the heels getting a surprise under-handed victory here. 

Ø      All told, with the participants involved, this match really has the potential to be quite entertaining.  Not only that, but younger talents like Punk and Helms have the opportunity to shine and “be made” by the established talents.

Ø      WINNER: Team Rated RKO. 

Ø      This is a puzzle to me.  The teams look like they were randomly thrown together, yet you can still trace each person to an antagonist on the opposite team.  I dunno...with guys like Cena, Sabu, Big Show, and Umaga in the ring, I just don’t see a good match taking place.

Ø      WINNER: Team Cena. 

Ø      The addition of Ron Simmons immediately made this match a hundred times better than it would have been if Piper was still stumbling around in an incoherent daze.  Don’t get me wrong, this match will probably suck ass...but it will still be entertaining and fun.  I would like to think that this will be the final nail in the Spirit Squad coffin and the break-up happens either tonight or Monday on RAW...but it'll probably get dragged out for another month or two.

Ø      WINNER: Team Old. 

Ø      This match has had more than its fair share of build-up.  The first few matches weren’t really entertaining, but I think Batista and Booker were just beginning to feel each other out inside the ring.  At this point, though, the feud needs to come to a conclusion.  Both men need to move on.  Where they go from here (and where the entire SmackDown brand goes from here) will be interesting to see.  I think you’ll be seeing a couple of title changes tonight, with this being the biggest one.

Ø      WINNER: Batista. 

Ø      This match was designed for Kennedy to win.  ‘Taker can lose without really “losing” and both men walk out of SS with their heads held high...or at least something cheesy like that.

Ø      WINNER: Mr. Kennedy...

Ø      Lita’s a heel.  Lita’s retiring.  Mickie’s been promoted as being the tremendous underdog who has been suppressed over the past few weeks.  Can you see “Trish Retirement as Champ Part Two” taking place?  Neither can I.  I just hope that sloppy ho doesn’t hurt my precious Mickie again before she retires.

Ø      WINNER: Mickie James. 

Ø      This, folks, is Chavo’s shining moment.  Everything that Chavo has done over the past few months with Mysterio has led to this match.  If Chavo Guerrero does not beat Chris Benoit and win the United States title, then you might as well throw away you last chance (and I mean LAST chance) of Chavo ever being “over”.  Mr. Lower Midcard will finally get the chance to take a non-cruiserweight singles title and do something worth while.

Ø      WINNER: Chavo Guerrero. 

...Kennedy.

Item # 2 – He said what, exactly?

No...that can’t be right.  The last I heard, both he and Shawn Michaels thought Punk couldn’t work in a WWE style.  There’s no way I heard him correctly. 

Maybe I should watch it again.

Holy shit.  He said it.  He did it.  Triple H actually gave “the rub” to CM Punk.  I’m both flabbergasted and shocked.  I never thought in a million years that Hunter would give the rub to anybody who wasn’t being groomed or hand-picked as the next big thing in WWE by his wife.

Item # 3 – Is 1.04 really that bad?

There was widespread crapping on TNA for having their debut in primetime only garner a 1.04 rating.  Of course, the majority of the crapping came from the IWC so you can take it for what it’s worth.

The fact of the matter is that TNA only expected to draw between a 1.0 and a 1.1 so they shouldn’t be disappointed at all.  Yes, they hit higher numbers during the summer...but they’ve recently been steady at 0.8’s and a 0.9 has been seen as a good thing.

Kurt Angle’s debut shouldn’t be over-rated, but it was by many.  It’s a pretty basic concept...it doesn’t matter how many “superstars” you throw at the screen; if the program overall doesn’t draw in viewers then your ratings won’t go up.  Let’s face it...TNA is nowhere near WCW in terms of both ratings or exposure when it began to really do its best at going head-to-head with the WWF.  TNA is a blip on the overall wrestling radar screen and they need to start looking at the long-haul if they plan on increasing their ratings.

There’s nothing more annoying that ‘Net fans believing that TNA is bigger (or **gasp** considered “more important”) than what they really are.  Why should they have been expecting an all-time high rating?  That’s an unrealistic, simplistic view of TNA’s expectations.  TNA should count their blessings with a 1.0 rating.  It’s definitely a rating to build on.

Item # 4 – Ding dong, the ho is gone.

It’s been one of WWE’s worst-kept secrets that Lita (aka Amy Dumas) was leaving WWE once her contract expired this month.  While I used to be a tremendously huge fan of hers (and I can still drool over her pics from time to time), I won’t be sad to see her go.

Don’t get me wrong.  Lita certainly changed the standard in terms of what could be considered a WWE Diva.  She introduced (sloppily) high-risk moves to women’s wrestling on a mainstream scale that hadn’t been seen before.  She helped sell a TON of thongs.

The problem is that it took Lita 7 years to actually deliver a decent promo.  The problem is that she has injured more than one performer with her sloppy in-ring work.  The problem is that she never got naked for Playboy.

Okay...scratch that last one.  But Lita has definitely run her course with WWE.  After f*cking her way into a main event program, there’s nowhere else for her to go.

Have fun with your band, Amy.  I’m sure you’ll be taken very seriously singing in a band called the Luchagors while looking like this:

Item # 5 – Loser of the Week runner-up.

FERGIE!!

What?  Fergie??  What the hell, ZAH?!?

Well...I was all set to have one LOTW when I stumbled across this:  The Black Eyed Peas singer recently announced that anyone who dares to insult her vocal stylings is in turn insulting God.

Seriously.

"I may not have the type of voice you like, but I can sing," the 31-year old singer, real name Stacy Ferguson, told VIBE magazine.

"You can't take that away from me, 'cause singing is a gift from God, and when people say I can't sing, it's kind of like insulting God."

In which case, those wishing to avoid blasphemous comments should avoid listening to her latest single, “Fergalicious.”

Therefore, for being not only being facially fugly but for having one of the most over-blown egos I’ve seen on a relatively untalented hack in quite some time, congrats to Fergie for being this week’s Loser of the Week runner-up.

Item # 6 – LOSER OF THE WEEK.

Each and every week, I pick somebody (not necessarily always from wrestling) who has either acted in a dumb way, said something stupid, or generally was an idiot in some way, shape, or form.  This week wasn’t tough at all.  It’s a little sad, actually.  At the end of the day, though, it was quite the obvious choice to decide that the choice for ZAH’s Loser of the Week will be...

Michael Richards!!

During a stand-up routine at the Laugh Factory  last Friday night, Michael Richards lost his mind.  Upon some reportedly light heckling from a pair of African-American audience members, Richards unveiled this little ditty, "Fifty years ago we'd have you upside down with a f*cking fork up your ass."

Unfortunately, the less elegant N-bomb-laced follow-up to that wonderful quote pretty much set back his efforts at leaving the Kramer character behind until...well...just about ever.

The only thing more awkward than watching the tirade itself was watching his apology the next night on Letterman.

Therefore, Michael Richards, for being one dumb-ass racist motherf*cker (or at the very least being very, very stupid and ignorant), congratulations on being my Loser of the Week!!

***

Pillar to Post 

Each and every week I’ll take three statements that you, the WorldWrestlingInsanity.com readers, have submitted on the hot topics du jour and then get two or three volunteers to give their thoughts and insight.  Ladies and gentlemen, this week (even with the holidays taking place in the U.S.), I was able to find two great World Wrestling Insanity readers in Seion and Egge!

1. Agree or Disagree
CM Punk will steal the show at Survivor Series.

Seion:  Disagree. Given that this is another step in the DX and Rated RKO feud, I'd be suprised if he gets enough time to really get going. And seeing as how they've got Team X-treme back together and will want to milk that nostalgia for all it's worth, my feeling is either Punk, Helms or Knox will be eliminated first. It's far from what I'd do personally, mind you, just a gut feeling. (Though I think everyone reading this would agree Knox should be eliminated first.)

Egge: Undecided

Punk HAS the ability to do so, no doubt about that. But with the reunited Hardyz and DX AND Rated RKO in it I doubt that they'll give Punk enough air time to show how great he works. The question is which storyline they want to push with this match, and, since DX/Rated RKO is the main thing all over RAW and focus of the shows, I think they're gonna get a lot of air time at the expense of Punk.

Another factor are the Hardyz - I guess everyone's awaiting a lot of bumps and sick things, so they're gonna get a lot of air time, too.

But IF they give Punk the air time he deserves he's gonna kick ass all over the place and - yes - he's gonna steal the show. But with two old "funny" guys, including the guy who is the father of Steph's child, I really doubt that Punk is gonna be in the spotlight of this match.

2. Agree or Disagree
TNA should be very concerned about their 1.04 primetime debut rating.

Seion: Agree. They had Kurt Angle, one of the most well-know wrestlers today, on their first show and still didn't draw the way they deserved to. And it's not really the quality of wrestling or production values that are hurting them, but rather the way they promote themselves. Yeah, the IWC knows about them, but does anyone else? If they want to grow as a company, then they may want to consider a different approach to promoting their product because whatever they are doing now simply isn't working.

Egge: Agree

What I really don't get is why TNA cannot come over the way they deserve. TNA puts on the better shows and has the better workers but also has one major problem: They need more TV time. I guess the jump to prime time is the best way to go, but they need two hours and not the kind of crappy booking they had at 'genesis'.

Also, TNA doesn't get why Kurt Angle isn't drawing as many viewers as they probably thought he could. Angle is great, Joe vs. Angle at 'genesis' was great, his match with Abyss at Impact was okay but one man just isn't enough.

I hope TNA will get some more viewers in case of Vince's ego exploding. This appears to be a very good plan: Busting into DX and McMahon in person with VKM ripping into WWE every show; at first I thought "What crap", but they do well with this: The very moment WWE takes this on TV TNA's ratings will improve, but until that happens TNA will need a very good plan B, and that includes getting two hours of TV time, a better booking than the present and building up their own superstars (and maybe steal one or two more from WWE).

3. Agree or Disagree
Monty Brown will find great success in WWE.

Seion: Agree as far as it pertains to the IC/US Title Level. He's prime material for the midcard titles. Beyond that, I'd have to disagree. I don't ever see him as a main eventer. He just hasn't got that "it" factor. I don't see fans getting behind him the way they would need to for the WWE to take notice (love him or hate him, Cena did have that "it" factor when they put the belt on him, and Monty Brown doesn't).

Egge: Disagree

To be honest: I don't know. Brown fits perfectly in the WWE roster; he is a powerhouse with limited abilities in the ring. At first I thought WWE took him to show TNA who is the big dog around, but they never mentioned TNA's name, if I remember correctly. So Brown is either getting a huge push and will be moved to ECW after that or he is gonna stay in OVW for a veeeery long time.

But he is never ever going to be successful in the WWE.

***

Great job everybody...thanks!!  I’m looking forward to seeing who gets to join me as a guest columnist next week. 

No problem.  Either e-mail me at Zah@worldwrestlinginsanity.com or hit me up at ZAH Nation, found in the Insanity Message Board and let me know that you’d like to participate.  Also, don’t forget to stop by my MySpace page and add me.

So until next week…

L8R