After a long week in court, there’s nothing like rambling on about the latest happenings in the wild and wacky world of professional wrestling.  Help me wind down from lawyer mode to smark mode as I ask a few questions of you, the intelligent wrestling fan.

CROSS EXAMINATION

1.     How much longer before the WWE switches to running PPV’s on a daily basis?

2.     Does Umaga/Cena and Angle/Joe paint a picture of the differences between WWE and TNA or what?

3.     Should Victoria change her name to “Bonecrusher”?

4.     Would someone get me the name of the all-natural fitness supplements Chris Masters used to regain the 30 odd pounds of muscle (seemingly overnight) that disappeared after he was suspended for allegedly violating the WWE Wellness Policy?

5.     Direct your attention to Exhibit A.  Is there any doubt as to Michael Cole’s demonic heritage? 

Time to (Re)Pay the Piper- By now you've probably heard the news that the Hot Rod is facing some health problems right now.  Mr. Piper recently issued the following release on his web site:

Mr. Piper and his family would like to thank everyone for the overwhelming support of well wishes he has received world wide. Roddy has been diagnosed with Lymphoma Cancer. He will begin his battle against this cancer immediately.

The following is a statement from Mr. Piper;

“It seems like I have been fighting someone, something, someplace, in some manner, my whole life. But this fight, is one I am gonna win!”

For years, the "Hot Rod" has entertained us with his amazing talents in the ring and on the silver screen.  While Roddy is fighting the good fight, we can show our support for the Rowdy Scot.  With your help, I'm going to put together a scrapbook for Roddy Piper (along with all the contributor's names) and make sure he gets it in early January 2007.  Obviously anything you send is non-returnable as it will be in Mr. Piper's scrapbook. 

1.  Poems

2. Letters

3.  Pictures

4.  A story about how Mr. Piper influenced you, meeting him, whatever!

5.  Just about anything we can squeeze into a scrapbook.

DO NOT SEND MONEY

Send your items by December 31, 2006 to:

Mike Rickard II

PO Box 373

Getzville, NY 14068

Check back here for updates and photos.  If you have any questions, please write (above) or email me at AttorneyRickard@aol.com or Rickard@Worldwrestlinginsanity.com

Delivering his receipt A few weeks ago I commented on the comments in Eric Bischoff’s autobiography Controversy Creates Cash where he trashed the dirtsheets, primarily Dave Meltzer of the Wrestling Observer Newsletter.  Apparently this didn’t go over well with Dave who over the last two weeks has proceeded to systematically destroy Bischoff via a painstakingly detailed analysis of his autobiography (In the words of the Renaissance philosopher Ralphius, Meltzer ripped Bischoff a new one).  While some of Meltzer’s analysis is nitpicking. There are some interesting points raised as well.  While there’s far too much to get into here, there are a couple gems.  According to Meltzer, Bischoff talked to him on a regular basis during the Monday Night War (despite Bischoff’s claims to the contrary) and that Bischoff got a lot of his good promotional ideas from former rock and roll promoter turned wrestling promoter Zane Bresloff.  Meltzer hasn’t finished up either so I’m sure there’s more fun on the way for Eugene’s uncle.   Something tells me Bischoff isn’t going to reply to Meltzer’s comments but wouldn’t it be great to see a debate between the two.  Who to believe?  Who cares!  This is better than the Sir Paul McCartney/Heather “The Money Grubber” Mills split.

Hulk Hogan Ultimate Grill-Recently, I picked up the Hulk Hogan Ultimate Grill (as you know if you read last week’s Holiday Gift Guide).  Pretty decent product as it can grill, make waffles, and all sorts of other cool things.  Little did I realize how much the machine is like its namesake though.  Not only did it refuse to cook some quesadillas (something about lucha stars never drawing a dime) but the other day I went to plug it in and there was a note saying it was taking time off to heal a sore hip.  Somebody help!

The Major League of Professional Wrestling-crazy ass booking aside, when it comes to production values, nobody comes close to touching the WWE.  I attended last week’s SmackDown! and ECW television shows and I was blown away with what a tight ship they run.  After the SmackDown! taping ended, the production team transformed the SmackDown! set into the ECW set in less than ten minutes.  It was a real sight to see.  The WWE has come a long way from the first Saturday Night’s Main Event when NBC’s Dick Ebersol reportedly took Vince McMahon under his wing and showed him how to get the (then) WWF’s production values up to “Not Ready for Prime-Time” speed.  

The Kiss Vince’s Ass Club Meeting Continues-not to turn this into a suckupfest for Vince but once again it’s time to give the WWE credit where credit is due.  Once again, the WWE superstars are risking life and limb to entertain the troops.  Say what you will about the WWE milking this for publicity but the bottom line is that the WWE goes out of its way to bring a slice of Americana to the men and women stationed in the Middle East.  This year’s Tribute to the Troops show will air on the Christmas edition of RAW. 

Gone but not forgotten-last Sunday’s Survivor Series saw the departure of WWE Superstar and Diva Lita.  Lita deserves credit for restoring some actual wrestling ability to the WWE Women’s Division after years of decline as well as for her role in the success of Team Extreme.  Unfortunately her career was derailed after a broken neck courtesy of a botched stunt done during a guest appearance on the defunct TV series Dark Angel.  Lita was never the same again after the injury and I think the injury had a lot more impact on her ability to perform in the ring than has ever been let on.  She didn’t let this stop her from continuing her work in the WWE though and she did some of her best work during her storyline with Edge.  Behind the scenes, you couldn’t ask for a nicer person.  Not only is Lita actively involved in her charity but she’s always been accessible to her fans.  Lita is now going to brave the very dangerous waters that have drowned former Divas as she ventures into acting and music.  Good luck to Lita and thanks for the memories.