Welcome to the 12/19/06 edition of Extreme Championship Wrestling (ECW).  As part of my court-mandated treatment (thanks Uncle Ralph!  That's the last time I drive you around), I'll be providing real-time updates of Extreme Championship Wrestling (ECW).

Will tonight's show provide Extreme Championship Wrestling or will it be (in the words of Jerry "The King" Lawler) a night of Extremely Crappy Wrestling.  Either way, I don't care as I'm popping a couple of your favorite prescription painkillers and on with the show!

Bobby Lashley is in the ring, absorbing the cheers of the fans.  He tells them they're the reason he's in ECW.  He still can't believe he's the ECW Champion.  Lashley gives some props to the former champ the Big Show and tells him a rematch is his anytime he wants (What a pussy!  Lashley knows Big Show is out with an injury).  Lashley asks the fans who he wants them to see challenge him for the belt and lists some contenders such as Sabu, RVD, and Test.

Lashley begins to rival Don West for shameless plugs as he shills next week's Tribute to the Troops show.  Unfortunately his plug gets interrupted by Rene Dupree who calls Lashley a puppet and compares the troops to puppets as well.  Dupree gets a prompt ass beating courtesy of Lashley.  Dupree tries to bail out of the ring but Lashley chases him out and tosses him back in.  Dupree bails out again but when Lashely goes to grab him, he gets an eye rake for his troubles.  Apparently a match is on...

1.  ECW Champion Bobby Lashley vs. Rene Dupree

Dupree has the upper hand momentarily but Lashley mounts a quick come-back and spears Dupree before applying the Dominator!

WINNER: Lashley

Tazz and Joey Styles announce a Triple Threat Match for tonight between Sabu, RVD, and Test.  More importantly, the fans will decide who Lashley defends his ECW Championship against.  To quote the Bard, "Get thee to a computer!"

Former wrestling star Brad Armstrong joins Tazz and Styles at the announce booth.  They watch a replay of last week's incident where Matt Stryker kicked Balls Mahoney in well, the balls.

Matt Stryker vs. Balls Mahoney- Matt Stryker quickly gains control of the match.  He goes old school by using some tape to choke Mahoney out.  With Mahoney subdued, Stryker goes for an arm bar but Mahoney breaks out and brawls his way back with clotheslines and punches.  Mahoney changes things up with a powerslam then goes high-risk by climbing the top rope and going for an ass-drop.  Unfortunately Stryker ducks out of the way and lands the “Golden Rule” finisher for the 1-2-3.

WINNER: Matt Stryker

Test is in the Sears Portrait Studio cutting a promo on why the fans should vote him as the Number One Contender for Lashley's Championship. I don't know what's going on with Test but he looks like he just crawled out of the gutter.  I'm seen homeless people who who look better than Test.  Well, not that muscular but you know what I mean.  Test needs to check the wrestling obituaries from the last few years and see what happens when you abuse steroids and other performance enhancing drugs.  Is Test on them?  Only a drug test will tell.

RVD is in the portrait studio now.  He asks the fans if they remember last summer when he was ECW champion until he got pulled over by Buford T. Justice and suddenly lost the belt.  He tells the fans they should vote for him because he's the best reason for watching the show.

Bob Holly is in the ring.  Styles and Tazz recap last week's big match between CM Punk and Holly as well as the post-match incident where Punk locked in the Anaconda Vice.  Holly is in the ring to dispel the rumors going around that he tapped out to CM Punk.  He didn't tap out.  What happened was that he was beating down Punk when the referee saved him.  In fact, Punk should send the referee a Christmas card.  Holly says if Punk thinks he can make him tap, he should come out.  Holly welcomes him but warns him that he's a weapon and he'll unleash a weapon in the ring. Rene Dupree then comes out and warns Punk to be careful if he shares a rental car with Holly.  Holly gets on the stick and tells Punk he has three minutes to make him tap.

3. CM Punk vs. Hardcore Holly

With just three minutes to get a submission, CM Punk isn’t wasting time.  He even gets the Anaconda Vice on Holly but Holly is near the ropes and fights his way back.  Punk may be too preoccupied with trying to get a submission win.  See saw battle with Punk running out of time and the match ends without a winner.  As Punk asks the referee what happened, Holly attacks Punk from behind and plants him with the Alabama Slam.

DRAW

Shannon Moore is on the cel phone when he runs into Davari.  Unfortunately for Moore, Daivari is with the Great Khali.  As Moore contemplates a showdown with Daivari, it’s important to remember to protect your loved ones with the security of knowing your last wishes are protected with a binding will.  Contact NidiaFan Legal Services for all your testamentary needs.

4. Daivari (w. the Great Khali )vs. Shannon Moore- Moore thinks he's fighting Daivari but he's not that lucky.  As Khali mandhandles Moore, Tommy Dreamer delivers a chairshot to Daivari.  Unfortunately for Dreamer, this catches the attention of the Great Khali and he chokeslams Dreamer on the steel ring steps.  Dreamer writhes in pain as the Great Khali carries Daivari backstage.

NO CONTEST

Hype video airs for Sabu as Joey Styles hypes tonight's Triple Threat Main Event.

Back at ringside, ECW's crack medical team are attending to the fallen Dreamer.  A replay airs of Dreamer's unsolicited chiropractic adjustment as the Great Khali slammed his back onto the steel steps.

A recap airs of Mike Knox' reprehensible behavior where he had the audacity to throw flowers in Kelly Kelly's face before laying her out. 

Mike Knox is backstage.  Joey Styles asks him to explain his actions.  Knox tells the fans that they shouldn't feel bad for Kelly Kelly.  Actually, he was the victim.  He asks the fans to ask themselves what they would do if she was their girlfriend or their wife.  She embarassed him by showing her true feelings for CM Punk.  Knox says his attack on Kelly hurt him more than it hurt her.  Average promo.  Nothing special.