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Canadian Bulldog's Breaking News: DX, Cena Sweep Year-End Awards Of "Stupid Mark Magazine"

By Canadian Bulldog
Dec 26, 2006, 12:44


...

Marky Mark?

The issue hits newsstands Jan. 4th.

By Canadian Bulldog, World Wrestling Insanity News

(New York City, NY) – For the third time in a row, WWE Champion John Cena has been chosen by the fans of "Stupid Mark Magazine" as wrestler of the year.

Fans of the publication – known as "the magazine for stupid marks" – proclaimed Cena as the winner by a whopping margin of 100 percent. This result seems to differ slightly from most wrestling websites and magazines; for example, Cena finished behind Shark Boy, Funaki and Goldust in the Wrestling Observer Newsletter's year-end voting.

Cena is "so awesome, because he put K-Fed in his place," reasoned Stupid Mark Magazine editor Cal Evans in his write-up. "The champ… is… hee-yah!"

Also cleaning up at the year-end awards were D-Generation X, who were named SMM's "Tag Team of the Year" despite not having competed for any tag team championships during the voting period. They also won "Stable of the Year" and a new honor for this year's awards, "Funniest People of the Year".

Strangely enough, none of this year's winners were non-WWE competitors, a "Stupid Mark Magazine" tradition that dates back to the magazine's inception in 1999. Even Kurt Angle, who handily won last year's "Olympic Gold Medalist of the Year" voting, didn't show up in the nominations after jumping to rival organization TNA.

"This is insane!" cried Mitch Jackson, editor of the "Elite Workrate Wanker Newsletter". "How can they exclude workers from ROH and NOAH, yet The Boogeyman finishes in the top three for "Rookie of the Year"?"

Evans explained in the editor's note this month that "we're much more than a mouthpiece for one wrestling company. Whether something happens on Raw, SmackDown, or ECW, we will stay on top of the story."

For the benefit of those who haven't yet, or don't plan to, see a copy of the December/January issue of "Stupid Mark Magazine", here are the year-end award winners:

Wrestler of the Year

John Cena

Tag Team of the Year

DX

Match of the Year

DX vs. The Spirit Squad (Saturday Night's Main Event)

Feud of the Year

John Cena vs. Umaga

Stable of the Year

DX

Biggest Jerk of the Year

Edge/Randy Orton (tie)

Funniest People of the Year

DX!!!

Rookie of the Year

Cryme Time

Wrestler of the Year That's Not on Raw

Batista

Hot Chick of the Year

Melina

Manager of the Year

That Mexican Dude Who Manages Umaga

WrestleMania of the Year

23

Eddie Guerrero Memorial Award For Bravery

Rey Mysterio

-30-

Canadian Bulldog is a borderline journalist who writes weekly for World Wrestling Insanity and Online Onslaught and has published his own book of nutty e-mails to wrestlers. See his obscenely expensive Canadian BullBLOG for more details. He welcomes your comments at CanadianBulldog@worldwrestlinginsanity.com


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