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Aaron Wood's SmackDown: The SmackDown Sprint (part 1)
By Aaron Wood
 ...
First of all, sorry about not reporting on the "Best Of" last week.
Well, to be honest I did, but a miscommunicae with THE BOSS~! means it's still sitting in his e-mail box. Also, while I personally had a Happy New Year, my computer did not. Suffice to say there are professionals looking at it as I write this from a cold and empty Internet cafe. Last Week: Some stuff from 2006... THE SHOW We start the show with Teddy Long already in the ring, and already, the name of the theme for the next couple of weeks has changed to the "Beat The Clock Sprint". I say "couple of weeks", as Teddy explained how there would be 8 matches over the next two weeks, where the person who wins in the shortest time gets the title shot at Batista, also mentioning that the matches will be drawn at random at the last second. Then, for no apparent reason, he introduced Batista. They may want Batista to talk "more jive", but they should really first get him to dress better... Dave got the stick and fully reiterated what T. Lo just told us, only adding that he LOVES the idea, and how he wants to fight the best. Surely this method of contender finding rewards the flukiest guy with the worst caliber of opponent? And with that, Long introduced the first contender... Kane def. Chavo Guerrero in a "This isn't a Sprint, it's a Marathon" match Kane headed out and had something of a staredown with Batista, even shooting his pyro (which is usually a sure sign he's about to lose, before we headed to break. When we return, Long and Batista magically disappeared, while Kane awaited his opponent. A grin came across his face as Tony Chimel called out Chavo Guerrero's name. Chavo, rather conspicuously, came out without Vicki. This one started with Chavo going for roll-ups and Sunset Flips, but got nowhere, given the monsters weight. Kane proceeded to take over, even suggesting that he do one of his chokeslams, but Chavo ducked out. When on the outside, Chavo managed to drop-toe hold Kane into the steps, before begging Charles Robinson to start the count. Lil' Naitch made it to 9 before Kane got back in. Chavo then went for something that looked like a Figure Four NECK Lock, but Kane powered out of it, taking over on offense again, as I was impressed by a use of the word "paradigm" by JBL. Kane started with his usual moves at around six minutes, but Chavo snuck out of a chokeslam at the seven minute mark. They headed up top, where Chavo pushed Kane off and went for a Frog Splash, but Kane caught his throat and finally gave him the chokeslam for the win. Thoughts - 7/10 - I thoguht this was a good big man/little man match, which told a pretty good story, with Chavo trying to win cheaply, and Kane being rather relentless. My only criticism would be that for an 8 match series, although not every match is going to "beat the clock", a time of just under 8 minutes isn't all that long of a time to set the standard. I would have expected at least 10. Paul London & Brian Kendrick fought to a Time Limit Draw in a "It's not a Marathon, it's a Snickers!" match After a bizarre little video of Maryse lying on a bed, welcoming us back to Smackdown, London did his usual thing heading to the ring. And you can imagine everyone's surprise when Kendrick was revealed as his opponent. I mean, come on, who couldn't have called that?!?!?! Two things though. Spanky didn't come out to "Hey You", and Brian joined Todd Grisham at the barbershop, as he also had a hair cut. Indeed, it looked rather heelish... The two started off with some chain wrestling, which resulted in a very cool pinfall series. Indeed, as one soliatary voice chanted "Boring" (showing that he deserves to be shot), the match stayed pretty even. So much so that with a couple of minutes left, the both tried to crossbody each other. Another pinfall series went nowhere, although this one was notable for Spanky trying to use a handful of tights to gain the win (He's SO the heel in this feud). Both guys collapsed as the clock ran out, and the match was ended. Ashley ran out, got both guys on their feet and had a group hug. That's as far as it went though. No threesomes or anything. Thoughts - 8/10 - If these 2 could get a couple more minutes and a chance to break out the high-flying spots, then you would have a Match Of The Year contender on your hands. I would even forgo the fact that they will face each other at Wrestlemania (almost certain given that the female pin in the brewing feud is this year's Playboy cover girl), and dump it down to No Way Out if it meant they got the time. This was GREAT stuff all round, with GREAT wrestling and another good story, with the continuous pinfalls and reversals. Acting like babyfaces and getting booed for it? Must have been watching Cena... We have JBL in the ring, as he repeats his disgust at the Inferno match, putting over MVP as the show's "Brightest Star". Surely, with MVP on fire, he's have been even brighter? Anyway, he chided Teddy Long some more before talking over the video of the burning. JBL then sent it back to the TitanTron to see a picture of MVP getting treated in the back earlier in the day. And indeed, it was some nasty MVP then came out with the top half of his singlet flapping in the breeze to show the "burns" live, quite possibly for the first time in his WWE tenure. Porter thanked JBL for speaking up on his behalf, before giving his sob-story. Montel brought up the "Sprint", saying he would win iit, using his burns as his motivation. With those burns, you'd think he wouldn't be able to wrestle, or even take bumps, for a long time. Either way, he vowed to beat the clock and win the title. King Booker def. Gregory Helms in a "At least the Crusierweight Queen Sharmell introduced King Booker (what's with the people already being in the ring this week?), mentioning thatBooker shouldn't have had to be in the sprint. Gregory helms then came out as the opponent. Heel vs. Heel? I suppose it puts over the "randomness". Indeed, however, the crowd didn't seem to know who to get behind. After an initial flurry by Helms, Booker controlled the match early on. Helms tried to score a couple of pinfalls, but walked into a side kick by Booker. He may have had Helms, but took too long to cover. With just under 2 minutes left, Helms went for the Shining Wizard, but Sharmell held his leg, allowing Booker to hit an Axe Kick, followed by a Scissors Kick for the win and the new time to beat. As the winners left, The Boogeyman's music kicked in, appearing from under the ring. Helms then ate a Choke Bomb and then got wormed. Thoughts - 6/10 - It was a pretty decent match, but didn't tell the same sort of story as the other matches did. Indeed, neither of them seemed to want to be the babyface for a few minutes. That said, they clicked quite well, and if they are serious about putting Helms in with the bigger boys, then they could do worse than a program with Booker. My Deja Vu...My Deja Vu... Again, for NO reason whatsoever, in the UK, we got a "From The Vault" bit. And again, it was a Booker vs Lashley match. This time, it was the cage match from June last year. I can only assume that since the UK takes half of the commercial breaks the US does, meaning the show runs for a hour and 45 minutes, someone somewhere decided the 2 hour timeslot needed padding out. Thing is, if they are going to do this, can we not get stuff from before 2006? Anyway, we got the introductions and around the last 10 minutes. It was cool to be reminded of JBL's "soccer World Cup" fetish during the summer. Part 1 of a 2 part series of stuff you'll have just seen recently And then for no reason, Cole and JBL introduce a video which looks at the history of Dave Batista. Unfrotunately, they forget his time as a Deacon, starting with him in Evolution. Theythen broke up, Batista won the title, moved to Smackdown, got injured and gave up the title. Cole then promises us that we'll see a video of Batista's comeback next week. Yippee... Ashley def. Jillian in a "Well, Jillian's definately a heel now..." match Ashley comes out first, followed by Jillian, who is allowed to cut a Picture-In-Picture promo, talking about how she was the most talented Diva on Smackdown, and she didn't have to win a contest. She even looked more heelish. And indeed, she wrestled more heelish, playing to the crowd as she laid into Ashley, including putting the sole of her boot in Ashley's face. Ashley made a ocmeback, including a headscissors where Jillian clearly did all the work. Jillian, however, looked to have the match won, but Ashley countered her move into a pin for the 3 count. Thoughts - 4/10 - They tried hard, but it wasn't all that good. Jillian, however, NEEDS to be moved to RAW ASAP... Jimmy Wang Yang and Tatanka fought to a Time Limit Draw in a "Hey, Cowboys vs. Indians! Sorta..." match Another ANOTHER Maryse video, this time with her in the bath, we have Yang in the middle of his entrance, while Tatanka came out still looking like a racoon. Tatanka started out by dumping Yang out of the ring. However, not taking a page out of Chavo's book, Tatanka didn't wait for any countouts, rolling Yang back in for the pin, but only scoring a 2 count. Tatanka then stayed on offense. And kept on. And on. And on. For a match that could only go around 6 and a half minutes tops, it felt like an eternity. It wasn't until there was about 2:30 left on the clock that Yang got some offense in, scoring a couple of near falls. Yang went for his moonsault, but Tatanka crotched him and hit a back suplex for a near fall. As time neared expiration, Yang actually hit the moonsault, but Charles Robinson only made a one count as the buzzer went. Tatanka then laid Yang out afterwards. You know, just to be a wad. Thoughts - 4.5/10 - I've never seen a squash go to a draw before, but as they say, there's a first time for everything. This wasn't good, and I blame Tatanka entirely. Boring offense, and he was on it for most of the match. As Justin Timberlake would say, river"... Kristal was in the back with Vicki Guerrero, asking how she was. Vicki said all wasn't well, giving it the full sob story (her and MVP would be suited) about how Benoit, the fans and Chavo turned their backs on her. She then proceed to become unintelligable and break down. I'm interested to see where this goes... Ken Kennedy def. Chris Benoit in a "Benoit shouldn't lose in 5 minutes!!!" match Given how this is the first time we've seen Kennedy since the Last Ride match, they didn't exactly make much of his "return". He just showed up. After our final commercial break, Benoit came out and we were reminded that Benoit won the US Title from Kennedy. Much like Spanky and London earlier, there were lots of pinfall attempts by both men early on. Kennedy took over on offense, even going for the Kenton Bomb. But that was met with a couple of upped knees, allowing Benoit to hit numerous Germans. Benoit went for the headbutt, but that missed. Kennedy removed a turnbuckle pad, but turned around into an awaiting Crossface, but they were too close to the ropes, Kennedy making them easily. When they got up, Kennedy sent Benoit into the exposed turnuckle, pinning him and winning. As Kennedy celebrated, Teddy Long came out and reminded us there would be four more matches next week, involving the likes of MVP, Matt Hardy, Finlay and Undertaker. Cole and JBL ran over those name, with the added use of graphics before the show ended. Must suck to be the other four guys in those matches, knowing you weren't important enough to get namechecked. Thoughts - 6.5/10 - Nothing much wrong with this match, but it was too short, although in context, it had to be. Overall - 7.5/10 - This was a very entertaining show, that had a good sense of theme and storytelling throughout. Personally, I really like that the matches ended when the time limit ran out. I know in the past, they've let the matches go on, but at those times, not only was the match time important but there was a spot on the line for the winner too, making a winner necessary, no matter how long it took. This time, there is only one spot on the line for the quickest winner, so if you don't beat the clock, then there's nothing to gain by going on. It may make for some ultimately unsatisfying draws, but I really like the logic of it. My one concern stems back to the times set. Because Kane's time was under 10 minutes, as a knock-on effect, the current time is now fairly minimal, and I would bet money on Finlay being the guy Batista faces, so that's at least one match where the time is beaten. That’s all I got for now, but if you have something to say about this week’s Smackdown, you can e-mail me at dedicated e-mail address, or come hunt me down on the WWI Forums! OR, you can find me along with the rest of the dribbling masses on MY OWN MYSPACE PAGE! Well, I’ll be back soon enough, but for now, I believe I’ve fulfilled my contractual obligations. For reading this, And continuing to support World Wrestling Insanity, you’re cooler than the other side of the pillow... I’m out.
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| © 2005-2007 All content contained here Copyright 2006 by James Guttman *** World Wrestling Insanity and ClubWWI are not affiliated with any wrestling promotion. |
