Welcome to tonight's ongoing real time coverage of Raw. You may need to hit "refresh" from time to time to see the latest update.


* * *

Tonight's show was live from the Cajundome in Lafayette, Louisiana.  Lafayette has waited for three years for Raw to return.  Will the wait be worth it?

* * *

The show began with a remembrance of Scott “Bam Bam” Bigelow who passed away last week.

* * *

Last Monday, Rated RKO had bedeviled Shawn Michaels, taking out the legends who had said they had his back.  HBK had taken Edge and Orton on by himself in order to prove that DX was not dead.

Jim Ross and Jerry “The King” Lawler welcomed viewers to the show as the DX theme played.  Shawn Michaels came out and said that last week he’d had a feeling that he could eat up any bully who felt he could just push his way through life.  He’d tried to put those feelings away for the past several years, but now the Showstopper was back!  And he had the WWE Championship on his mind.  At the Royal Rumble, he was going to take his re-re-born self and fulfill his destiny.

Edge had heard enough about HBK’s destiny.  He came out to loud boos from the crowd and said he had a feeling, too.  He had a feeling he was going to win the Rumble.  Blah, blah, blah.

“Shut up,” said Michaels matter-of-factly.  He invited Edge to the ring.  And it was on.  They battled into the first row at ringside as referees hurried out to restore order.  Good luck with that.

(Commercial break)

The brawl was working its way through the building. 

(1)  Special Raw vs. Smackdown Challenge:  Jeff Hardy vs. Joey Mercury.  Mercury was disappointed to have the referee eject Melina and Johnny Nitro from ringside.  Mercury was wearing a special face guard as a result of the injury he’d received in a ladder match last month.  Hardy won this match easily and exited the ring as Melina and Nitro came back to tend to Mercury.

In the boss’s office, Jonathan Coachman assured Mister McMahon that he had a plan.  He’d throw Edge and Michaels out of the building.  Mister McMahon had better idea:  Edge vs. Michaels in a Street Fight.  Plus he had another announcement, too.

(Commercial break) 

“No Chance in Hell” we were going to escape another of McMahon’s Trump Moments.  McMahon invited himself onto “The Apprentice.”  He felt it would make ratings for Trump’s show improve.  (Goodness knows they could use some improving this season.)  McMahon just about broke his arm patting himself on the back for his business acumen and Herculean physique. 

John Cena came out and said everybody knows the Vince McMahon and Obsession are not good things and pointed out a few examples such as the XFL.  Cena thought that Trump and McMahon were obviously over-compensating for something.  Coach tried to help out, but merely put his foot in his mouth by saying Trump had more money than McMahon.

McMahon grabbed the mic and said he thought Cena ought to have a tune-up match on his way to the Rumble.  Tonight it would be Cena vs. Coach.  Coach gulped. 

(Commercial break)

(2)  Chris Masters vs. Super Crazy.  Crazy seemed at a disadvantage with his lucha style as Masters dominated the early part of the match.  Standing moonsault and a cover by Super Crazy, but Masters kicked out.  Master Lock on Crazy, who fell backwards and managed to pin a very surprised Chris Masters.

Coach was trailing behind McMahon, trying to make amends for the unfavorable comparisons he’d made between McMahon and Trump.  McMahon said the match was still on, so Coach should just save his breath.

(Commercial break)

HBK was taping his fists for the street fight coming up later.

Maria’s guest was Kenny Dykstra, who mocked her intelligence and boasted about how he’d be the youngest person to do anything and everything in WWE.  He said this would be the Year of Kenny Dykstra.  Whatever.

Edge was surprised to see Randy Orton in the dressing room.  Orton was just a little hostile about Edge not being there to help him out last week.  Bottom line, Edge wanted to know if Orton would help him during the street fight.  Orton was noncommittal.

(Commercial break)

(3)  John Cena vs. Jonathan Coachman.  This one ought to be an epic battle. 

Since Mister McMahon had left the building –much like Elvis--Coach changed the rules and said that he would send superstars to the ring to take on Cena, Rumble-style.  Once Cena goes over the top rope, then he and Coach would have their match. 

Cena got rid of Cade and Murdoch.  Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas, came out, followed by Viscera and the Great Khali.  Khali sent everyone except Cena over the top rope, including Viscera.  He’d saved Cena for last, and pitched him over the top rope. 

Coach watched as Khali continued to pound on Cena.  Khali left the ring and Coach jumped in to make a cheap pin.  Then out came Umaga and Armando Estrada.  Cena got a Samoan Spike and Coach and Estrada laid Cena out on a table.  Umaga came off the ropes and landed on Cena, sending him crashing through the table.  Medical help arrived to care for Cena, but Umaga just stood in their way.

(Commercial break)

Cena was being assisted from the ring and the crowd cheered him.

J.R. and The King discussed the status of the match and Cena as it pertained to Sunday’s Royal Rumble.

(4)  Candice Michelle & Mickie James vs. Victoria & Melina.  Candice had her nose broken by Victoria a couple of months ago.  (In the meantime, GoDaddy.com found themselves a new spokesbabe—Indy racer Danica Patrick.)  Not much to this match.  Candice pinned Victoria and The King wanted to celebrate with a group hug.    

(Commercial break)

Carlito came out with Divas Torrie and Chloe.  Torrie’s alleged dress must have required a lot of booby-glue to hold it in place.

(5)  Carlito vs. Kenny Dykstra.  Carlito was on fire and controlled early, but with Kenny getting a Push with a capital “P,” you knew it couldn’t last.  Sure enough, Kenny got the pin.

Clips from last week set up the street fight that’s coming up between Michaels and Edge.

(Commercial break)

Cryme Tyme worked a scam on Super Crazy while Eugene watched.  They sold Crazy a number for the Royal Rumble, then Eugene wanted to buy one, too.  He got number 30.  They convinced him it wasn’t a good number and sold him number 1.  Seems they’d sold some other things that weren’t real, such as a fake painting to Ron Simmons.  “DAMN” was all he had to say.  At least for now.

J.R. said they’d learned that Cena may have a ruptured spleen.

Earlier tonight, Edge and HBK had brawled through the crowd, setting the stage for the main event tonight.

(6)  Street Fight:  Shawn Michaels vs. Edge.  HBK took off his belt and beat Edge like the proverbial government mule, then went under the ring and pulled out some plunder.  Michaels was determined to fulfill his destiny.  Edge was in a world of hurt.

(Commercial break)

Returning from the break, Michaels was bleeding from the forehead and Edge was using a ladder “as a tag team partner,” as J.R. put it.  Both of them looked the worse for wear.  Edge tried to power bomb HBK on the ladder, but couldn’t follow through.  They stood and traded, then Michaels picked up a chain and wrapped it around Edge’s neck and slammed his face into the turnbuckle.  Now they were both bleeding.  Edge got slammed on the ladder and looked to be in great pain.  He was able to get to his feet, though, and the two climbed to the top turnbuckle and came off onto the ladder.  Edge was down and HBK dropped an elbow on him, then started to tune up for some Sweet Chin Music.  At the same time, Edge attempted a spear.  Edge picked Michaels up and slammed him awkwardly on the mat.  HBK got up and used a chair on Edge.  Just as HBK was about to use the chair again, Randy Orton ran out and planted HBK on the mat.  Edge rolled over and covered him for the pin and got the win.  Orton helped Edge to his feet, then tossed him over the top rope.  Orton was about to give HBK and ConChairto, but Flair ran out and gave Orton a low blow.  Kenny Dykstra came out and attacked Flair, but was attacked, in turn, by Carlito.  Michaels got to his feet and superkicked everybody left in the ring.

* * *

Whatever happened to the good old days when a street fight took place in a STREET, or even a concession stand?

Okay, enough nit-picking.  The show was like a sandwich.  It started strong and ended strong, but there was a lot of baloney in the middle.  Did it achieve its purpose of selling viewers on the Royal Rumble?  More importantly, did they damage what little talent they have left on the roster in the insanely brutal matches tonight? 

* * *