Matt Dawgs Presents... TNA's Post PPV Booking Sheet
By Matt Dawgs
Hi folks, It’s been a long time coming. I know I haven’t been around as much as I used to however with baby fever hitting the Dawgs household and the “Real Life” gimmick kicking my ass, it’s been difficult. But I am back today with a scoop. The scoop of scoops. A scoop so big, so huge, so monumental that I had to reveal it to you all before it happens on television. My sources have found out TNA’s booking plan for the Impact tapings following the next pay per view. This will be the live 2 Hour Impact rumored to take place on a Monday due to Raw being taken off the air for dog racing or something. The following document came straight off the desk of Vince Russo, ripped straight from his notebook. It is some good stuff folks. So sit back, enjoy the show and remember where you heard it first, here at World Wrestling Insanity.com.
February 12, 2007 LIVE 2 Hour Impact!!!!!!!
Open the show with new NWA TNA Champion Kurt Angle. Angle talks about Against All Odds pay per view and how he defeated the odds by beating Christian Cage, Tomko, the debuting Giant Bernard (A-Train) and the returning Scott Steiner to win the title. He brags about how he made them all tap to the ankle lock. He then turns his attention to Sting who comes down to ringside. Sting explains that he knows all about Kurt’s secret past with Chris (Abyss). To make it more “shoot.-like” we can have Sting call him Kurtis instead of Kurt. Angle objects and challenges Sting to a World Title Match tonight. Sting accepts and we have Angle vs. Sting for the first time ever. Why make people pay for it when we can give it away for FREE!!!! (Time: 15:32)
Mike Tenay and Don West open. We go straight to our first match, a 6 man X-Division match featuring Senshi vs. Petey Williams vs. Chris Sabin vs. Christopher Daniels vs. Jerry Lynn vs. Sonjay Dutt. Senshi wins with the “Warriors Way” on Dutt. (Time: 1:15)
COMMERCIAL BREAK (Time: 2:16)
Backstage Interview with Christian Cage, Tomko, Giant Bernard and Scot Steiner. Christian talks about wanting to get his belt back and about wanting Angle. (NOTE TO SELF, DUTCH AND JEFF: Make sure he mentions that Giant Bernard is his new monster. He is like A TRAIN. Get it? Like A-TRAIN!!!) CC also mentions Abyss secret and how he is going to reveal it………in two weeks…….on Impact. (NOTE To DUCTH AND JEFF: Make the fans wait for it!!!) Tomko can smirk and chuckle. Steiner will then talk about his freaks and peaks and how he is going to make Angle tap when he taps Angle’s ass. He flexes and grabs Letecia’s ass. Grabbing asses is funny. So is sexual assault. Besides, sex sells. We can eventually lead it to an angle where Steiner dates rapes her. That has money written all over it. (Time: 7:52)
The Voodoo Kin Mafia come to the ring. BG makes fun of Michael Hickenbottom winning the Royal Rumble. He sarcastically mentions that we’ve never seen that before. He then says that Vince doesn’t know how to make new stars like TNA does. He then says look at the roster. We got Kurt Angle, Sting, Christian Cage, the Voodoo Kin Mafia, Tomko, Scott Steiner, Kevin Nash and now Giant Bernard. Look at those names getting plenty of TV time. WWE ain’t got nothing on us. Kip can then smile and make hand gestures like he does every week. Christy Hemme can come out and cry again. She is such a good actress. She can complain about sexism in TNA and how great women wrestlers like her, Jackie Gayda and Nicole Bass never got the shot they deserved in wrestling even though they are all good in the ring. She then slaps Kip again. Kip grabs her and instead of kicking her ass, he kisses her on the lips while grabbing her ass!!!! No one will see that coming. Shock and awe baby!!! (NOTE TO DUTCH AND JEFF: See above angle with Letecia) He can then strip her to her under wear and lay her out with the FAMASSER. (NOTE TO DUTCH AND JEFF: Since she has posed for Playboy before, maybe we can convince her to….. I don’t know, forget to wear a bra or panties. We won’t tell Kip though so he can be surprised. We can then issue a press release saying that it was an accident or something.) (Time: 12:52)
COMMERCIAL BREAK (Time: 3:53)
AJ Styles and Rhino are fighting backstage. They fight out of the arena. (Time: 30 seconds)
Before the camera and Jeremy Borash can follow, he is interrupted by Eric Young. Eric needs some advice on what to do with Tracy next week when they go to dinner. Jeremy says he can’t help Eric because he doesn’t know anything about women. But he does know someone who can help him. He whispers to Eric and Eric smiles at the suggestion. We can leave this open ended since we don’t have anyone in mind. We should tease that it is Steve Austin or the Rock because they sell tickets. But in the end, we can make it someone the fans love like Disco Inferno or DDP. Those guys rock. (Time: 10:04)
LAX makes their way to ringside to face off against Austin Starr and Alex Shelly. I know they broke up but we can have Mike explain that their contract states that Shelly and Starr have 4 more tag team matches together. We can have a lot of dissension between them and build to a solid 5 minute pay per view match between them. LAX wins when Homicide nails Starr with the Gringo Killer. Nash is on commentary, make sure he references a lot of 80’s stuff so that the older fans don’t feel left out. (Time: 2:03)
COMMERCIAL BREAK (Time: 2:04)
Jim Mitchell interview from a dungeon somewhere. Jim talks about Abyss and how he has a huge secret that Christian Cage is going to announce it in two weeks on Impact. Well Mitchell says that he will outdo Christian Cage. If Christian doesn’t announce the secret in two weeks, Mitchell WILL!!!!! Just not in two weeks. Jim says that he is going to announce Abyss’ secret on the March 29th edition of Impact (NOTE TO JEF AND DUTCH: Keep the fans waiting for it. It’ll be bigger than anything McMahon has ever done once we announce it.) (Time: 10:58)
The camera catches Rhino and AJ Styles fighting outside the arena in Universal Theme Park. They are brawling all over the place including in front of the Hard Rock Café, the NBA store and Emerill’s restaurant. Jim Cornette comes outside, orders them to stop and books them in a match later tonight, the winner will get a shot at Kurt Angle in two weeks. The catch? The match will be 2 out of 3 falls. (Time: 11:37)
COMMERCIAL BREAK (Time: 3:15)
The 2 out of 3 falls match is already in progress. As soon as we come back from break, we can have Rhino on the offense but AJ can roll him up in a small package and pick up the first fall. (Time: 1:13)
Rhino will quickly recover on offense and dominate AJ for the rest of the match. He easily picks up the second fall after punishing AJ for several bone crunching minutes, including busting him open since this is Live and we need some color on someone on this show. Rhino wins fall 2 with the GORE baby!!!! (Time: 3:42)
AJ wins the final fall after the Serotonin run in, distract Rhino and then AJ breaks a jar of peanut butter over Rhino’s head. Why peanut butter? Why not is the better question!!!! (Time: 3:10)
The Serotonin all run in after the match but Rhino Gores them all. Raven comes in, DDT’s Rhino leaving him unconscious and then canes everyone including referee Rudy Charles. (Time: 8:48)
COMMERCIAL BREAK (Time: 3:17)
Main Event will wrap up the show. TNA champion (NOTE TO SELF: We need to get out of that stupid NWA contract so we can just call it the TNA title. No one cares about belts anymore!!!!) Kurt Angle and Sting battle to a no contest due to interference from……..wait for it……wait for it…….SAMOA JOE!!!! (Time: 1:59)
See, everyone will expect a run in by Christian, Tomko, Bernard and Steiner. Instead, we can fool everyone by having Joe return and interfere. He can lay both men out and say he wants the title. The above mentioned guys run in and an All Out Riot can break out. Jim Cornette comes out and announces that next week, on TNA Impact, the main event will be a eight man tag match with the first ever teaming of Angle and Sting along with Samoa Joe and a mystery partner vs. Christian, Bernard, Steiner and Tomko). That is a pay per view caliber main event baby!!!!! Christian wants to know who the mystery partner is. Cornette says the music will let him know. Music plays and it is JEFF JARRETT!!!! Jarrett shows up at the babyface ramp and everyone will pop since it is the face entrance. He will have his guitar and we can have Mike Tenay sell it like it is the biggest night in the history of our sport. (Time: 15:32)
Adrenaline Rush Package (Time: 4:28)
TOTAL TIME: 2 Hour, 3 minutes
TOTAL WRESTLING TIME: 12 Minutes and 42 seconds
TOTAL COMMERCIAL TIME: 14 Minutes and 5 seconds
TOTAL BACKSTAGE SEGMENTS/SKITS/NON WRESTLING SEGMENTS: 1 Hour, 36 minutes and 13 seconds.
Now that is how you book a show. Check it out Double J and Dutch and let me know what you think.
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