Welcome back peeps. Hope you had a good week. Well mine is bitter sweet cause the spring semester of school just began. Yea school sucks but I realized something important. None of my teachers can pronounce my name. So you know what that means? It’s near impossible for any of you guys to know how to pronounce it. But I shall solve that problem by telling you how right now. It’s easy. My name is Saad. Say it so it rhymes with Todd. So something like Sod. Cool you got it.

Well now that we got that out the way, it’s time for Heat! I know this particular edition is gonna be later than usual so my sincerest apologizes beforehand. This week we’ve got some in ring action with my favorite team (The World’s Greatest Tag Team) in the main event along with the usual dosage of jobber. So spice up your t-bones and get your headbands ready, cause it’s time for some Heat baby!

Today’s serving of jobber is bought to you by a combination of TNA’s newest friends; Jeremy Borash and Eric Young. But just cause that’s what his name hints at doesn’t mean he looks like their demon child. In fact, he’s got a pretty rugged look and his undies say “The Fire.” Tough guy to say the least. Val on the other hand scares me more. Wanna know why? He’s a pedophile! He gives his towel (yea the sexy time towel) to a little girl!!! C’mon Venis! Wusup wit dat! Well the girl is creeped out but the one that’s really scared is her mom. Don’t blame ya mommy, cause your daughter just got scarred for life.

Typical match beginning with a tie-up which Val controls with a running shoulderbutt. The men do it again as Val gets on a headlock which eventually turns into a backslide pin. That only gets a 2 count. Then Val does his run to rope knee to the gut move and caps it off with a side Russian Leg Sweep. Val shakes his money maker, much to the delight of the women (and little girls) in the audience and then proceeds to pound the tar outta young Jeremy Young. Instead of going for the cover, Val hits a suplex and signals for the money shot. But Jeremy gets up and backs Val into the corner. Ref asks for a clean break but Val eats a sucker punch courtesy of the jobber. A little later, Young winds up on the apron and hotspots Val’s arm on the ropes and begins working on it. He takes it and repeatedly smashes Val’s arm into the turnbuckle.

Young has Val grounded with a headlock which is applied for like forever. It was a rest spot I guess. Val finally fights outs and hits some running elbows. Then bam! Huge boot takes out Young. Cover but only two. Both men to their feet and Venis hits a half Nelson. Val gets pumped up and signals for The Money Shot. Up top, down below, 1, 2, 3 Ding Ding Ding.

Not a bad match to start off Heat. This Young dude was pretty damn good. But Val extinguished the fire with the Money Shot.

Batista vs. Kennedy Promo. As much as I would love to see Mr. Kennedy…Kennedy be champion, it’s not gonna happen.

Wow. 2 jobber matches in a row. Fantastic. But hey at least Vis and Val are collecting some W’s. Actually the best part is that this Wes guy was on Smackdown collecting an ass kick courtesy of Deuce and Domino. Those guys rock. Watch out WGTT cause they are moving up on my favorite tag team list.

Well the match begins with Adams charging at Viscera only to get knocked down…twice. When he retreats, Vis charges at him and sends the poor dude flying. He grabs Mr. Wes and sends him flying into the corner. Adams is scared for his life but Vis comes to the corner and nails a huge open hand chop. Then he does it again. When Adams lands on the ground Mohawk Mabel decides to use him as a doormat. After stepping all over him, he picks up the little dude and nails a super scoop slam that sends the kid flying about 7 feet. I feel sorry for the poor guy and want the match to end soon. Viscera is just toying with Wes Adams at this point as he tosses him back into the corner. He does his sexy time dance and squashes Adams in the corner. This guy just died. Vis picks up little Wes Adams and nails him with “The Sex Drive” for the victory. If you missed it two weeks ago The Sex Drive is a sitout chokeslam or what was once called the Baldo Bomb.

This was the ultimate squash match. I mean Adams had no offense what so ever. It was all Vis from bell to bell.

Royal Rumble Promo. Who’s gonna win. Everyone is guessing Taker or HBK. Fine. They both deserve it. But next year I wanna see Taker vs. HBK at Wrestlemania. That would be legendary.

This was somewhat of a tribute to the late great Bam Bam Bigelow. It was one of his most memorable matches. It took place at the ECW PPV Living Dangerously in 1998 and was for the ECW World Television Title. Match starts off with Taz lying in the ring as Bam pulls a table out from under it. There is a Bam Bam sucks chant going on. The table’s already cracked so it’s hard to set up. But Bam gets it up in the ring and sets up Taz for a powerbomb. Tazz blocks and literally throws Bam Bam through the table. It was what D-Von does with the 3D. The future Smackdown commentator goes for a cover but gets a two count. Both men slide to the outside and exchange blows. Bam Bam picks up a piece of the broken table, but Taz punches it right into his face. It seems to take no effect as Bigelow smashes Taz’s head into the apron. Then he picks up a chair and clocks Taz in the back.

Surprising moment (for me at least) as Taz tosses Bam over the barricade into the audience. Again a fist fight breaks out of which Bigelow gets control of and slams Taz’s head into the guardrail. The beast from the east picks up a chair but Taz grabs it and hits Bam with it. They climb back to the “wrestler side” and Bam strikes Taz with a street sign that said Lorrie Ave. Then Bigelow slips cause the floor is wet and lands on his ass. But good improve skills as he low blows Taz to make up for his fall. Back in the ring Bam goes for the “Greetings from Asbury Park” (over the shoulder reverse piledriver) but Taz reverses it into a Tazzmission. Unfortunately, he can’t ground Bigelow. Bam falls back and just like that they go crashing through the mat. The ref is confused as the crowd gets to its feet and a very loud ECW chant begins. According to Joey Styles, they crashed to the concrete below the ring. But instead of selling it as a true Holy Sh!t Moment, Bam comes up and pulls Taz with him. He goes for the cover and gets the win to become the new ECW World Television Champion.

Truthfully, I was a bit disappointed. ECW wasn’t that extreme. The match was slow, there was no blood and quite the lack of weapons. No real wrestling and it was a total mess. But hey the end was cool so all’s well that ends well.

Cena vs. Umaga Last Man Standing Promo. This one is gonna be down right vicious. I wonder how Umaga looks when he bleed. It would be really cool if his blood is like purple or something.

Todd and Coach recap all the matches for the Royal Rumble.

This match is historic for two reasons. One, this is the first time WGTT are teaming up on Heat. Second, we don’t get to see Highlanders vs. Cade & Murdoch again! Hellz yea that rocks. Match starts off with Shelton and Rory. Tie-up but Shelton quickly kicks Rory in his stomach and starts nailing some forearms. He talks some trash to the Scotsman but gets a couple of punches and a damn hard headbutt for his troubles. But Shelton gets into his corner and makes the tag to Haas. Charlie starts pummeling Rory but when he goes for a suplex the baldie blocks and makes a tag to Robbie (I’m Robbie!). Robbie goes up top and nails a cross body on Haas for the 2 count. Tag back to Rory and the Scots nail a double axe handle smack and a double headbutt. The Highlanders take turns working on Haas’s arm.

Skillful tag teaming by WGTT as Haas knocks Robbie off the apron. That ticks him off and his entrance to the ring gives Shelton the chance to knock out Rory. Easy tag by Haas and WGTT is now in control. Shelton gets on a rear naked choke and pounds Rory’s head at the same time. Benji then nails a superb backdrop but only gets a two count. Tag back to Charles who knees the hell outta Rory’s back. Action picks up fast as Haas misses a clothesline in the corner and Robbie gets the hot tag. He takes down both Haas and Benjamin with a series of elbows, clotheslines, and forearms. Then he dropkicks them both as Rory sends Shelton out the ring. But WGTT shows why they’re so great when Haas nails a spinebuster on Robbie who lands on Shelton’s waiting knee. Shelton returns the favor by scoop slamming Robbie on Haas’s awaiting knee. Damn Robbie’s gonna need some ice after this match. Haas covers the Highlander after a double suplex but only gets a two. WGTT kills a lot of time with submissions (like 4 whole minutes) and on streaming video it seemed like forever. Then finally after a huge ass-whopping Robbie makes the tag to Rory and Benjamin to Haas. Rory hits a powerslam on Haas but only gets a 2 count. Shelton comes into the ring but gets a double Samoan Drop for his troubles. Scary spot follows as Haas body drops Robbie and he almost lands on Rory. But it didn’t happen so that’s good. Meanwhile, Rory comes from behind and rolls up Haas but Shelton kicks the crap outta his face. That is enough for Haas to reverse it and get the win.

Hellz yea!! WGTT is the shiznit and they deserve to win. So what if it’s on Heat? You gotta start somewhere. I’m telling you, these guys (well at least Shelton) are definitely headed places.

All in all, Heat was pretty good. We got two squash matches (well one squash and one semi-squash) a blast from the past and a helluva main event. Check it out if you got time.

Thanks for clicking the link and I hope you enjoyed it. If you have any suggestions, comments or criticisms then please do tell. My e-mail address is Naeem920@gmail.com or you can hit me up with a PM at the Insanity Message Boards. My username is Naeem920.

Until then I'm Saad Naeem and that was Heat.