WWE Royal Rumble Real Time Report: Match By Match Coverage
By Mike Rickard II
Welcome to the WWE Royal Rumble '07 Real Time Report.
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In addition to the thirty man battle royal, tonight’s Royal Rumble PPV features an unprecedented three world championship matches.
Welcome to the 20th edition of the ROYAL RUMBLE! Your real-time recap brought to you by Club WWI
The ever talented folks from the WWE production team start the show with a great hype video.
1.MNM (Joey Mercury & Johnny Nitro w. Melina) vs. the Hardyz (Matt and Jeff): This match is all about revenge as MNM seek payback on the Hardyz after Joey Mercury’s face got turned into tapioca pudding in the TLC match at the Armageddon PPV. Matt Hardy and Johnny Nitro get things started but MNM try to throw him off by making quick tags. Unfortunately two can play at that game and Jeff tags in, showing Johnny Nitro what made the Hardyz such a successful tag team. MNM take control by focusing on Matt’s dislocated jaw with some basic lefts and rights. Matt Hardy is playing the punching bag for MNM with Mercury and Nitro continuing to work over his face. MNM get overconfident though and Matt makes the hot tag to Jeff. Jeff comes in cleaning house on MNM and he’s soon joined by Matt. Double suplex on Nitro. Matt executes a legdrop and Jeff drops a knee drop on Nitro but Nitro gets his knees up on Jeff, stunning him. Nitro tags in Mercury who attacks Jeff. MNM are making rapid tags now and taking Jeff Hardy apart. Double legdrop by MNM on Jeff. Jeff is resilient as ever and surprises Mercury with a cradle. Too soon though and Mercury kicks out. Nitro puts on a combination body scissors and headlock trying to wear Hardy out. Hardy struggles to the corner and backbodydrops Nitro off of him. Jeff tags in Matt but the referee is distracted and he disallows the tag. MNM takes advantage of the confusion to drag Jeff back to their corner. Mercury and Nitro miss a doubleteam spot though and Jeff capitalizes to make the tag to Matt. Matt comes in, doing the house of fire bit. Nearfall on Nitro after Matt clotheslines him. Elbowdrop off the second rope but it’s not enough to get the pin. MNM rally back for the snapshot but Jeff breaks it up. Whisper in the wind and the Hardyz are in total control. Twist of fate by Matt to Nitro. Mercury comes in and takes Matt out of the ring. Matt has the presence of mind to make the tag to Jeff on his way out and Jeff comes in finish Nitro off with a swanton. Jeff pins Nitro.
WINNERS: The Hardyz
Jonathon Coachman is backstage with SmackDown! GM Teddy Long and ECW’s Kelly Kelly dishing out the numbers for the Royal Rumble. Coach and Long talk smack about who has the better brand. Edge takes time to make fun of Kelly Kelly having two names. Randy Orton shows up to remind Edge that it’s every man for himself and that he won’t hesitate to toss him out of the ring just like he did last Monday on RAW. Edge looks to see what number Orton drew but Orton backs off. Edge says “Show me yours ands I’ll show you mine”. King Booker and Sharmell enter the room as Booker says “Tell me you didn’t just say that”
Hype video airs for Wrestlemania XXIII
Hype video airs for the Test/Lashley match-Test has guaranteed that he’ll win the match.
Test is calling himself the “Impact Player” and “God’s gift to ECW”. How the mighty are fallen. Lockup by Test and Lashley. Test backs Lashley into the corner and gives him a slap instead of a clean break. Lashley isn’t having any of it though and he powers Test down to the mat, embarrassing him. Lashley has things going his way until Test runs his head into the ringpost. Test tosses Lashley back into the ring and goes for a cover, only getting a two count. They call Lashley a genetic freak but the last time I checked, sticking a needle in your ass doesn’t have anything to do with genetics. Test is somehow possessed by the spirit of Lou Thesz as he puts Lashley in an armbar. Test focuses on Lashley’s shoulder, delivering a shoulderbreaker followed by an armbar and knees to the shoulder. Lashley powers out though and puts Test into the corner where he explodes with a clothesline followed by a football tackle. However the effect of Test’s assault on Lashley’s shoulder takes hold when Lashley tries a bodyslam and can’t do it. Test delivers a big boot to Test for a nearfall. Test looks to be shocked that Lashley kicked out. Quick burst of energy by Lashley and he knocks Test out of the ring with a wicked clothesline. The referee makes the count as Lashley looks on. Test looks like he’ll make it back in when he throws his hands up in frustration and allows the referee to count him out.
WINNER: Bobby Lashley by count-out
Lashley isn’t finished with Test though. After winning the match he goes after Test and slaps him around before bringing him back into the ring. Running powerslam by Lashley staggers Test.
Backstage, the official WWE doctor is checking John Cena out. Vince McMahon interrupts the exam. McMahon says it’s his turn to interrupt Cena like Cena did on RAW. McMahon asks Cena if he’s going to forfeit the belt. McMahon has some fun at Cena’s expense by saying he “can’t see him” as champion tonight or “the last man standing”.
Hype video airs for the No Way Out PPV
JBL and Michael Cole introduce a hype video for the Batista/Mr. Kennedy match
Mr. Kennedy introduces himself as the next world heavyweight champion. JBL talks up Ken Kennedy’s impressive win record of late. Battle of the big boys with Kennedy and Batista sizing each other up. Kennedy looks to be focusing on Batista’s knee with a cheap shot early on in the match followed by slamming Batista’s knee into the ring steps. Kennedy continues working over the “Animal’s” knee, blasting it on the ring ropes. Kennedy then slaps on what looks to be an Indian Deathlock variation, further weakening Batista. Kennedy backs Batista into the corner and dishes out some serious lefts and rights, beating Batista down into the corner. Kennedy’s nose is busted open. Kennedy puts Batista into a half crab. Batista gets out and tries to finish things off with a small package. Kennedy kicks out then goes after Batista’s knee again. Batista lands a spinebuster but he looks like he may have hurt his knee in the process. Batista isn’t going to let that slow him down though and he launches his own offense, setting Kennedy up for the Batista Bomb. However Kennedy stops it by kicking Batista in the knee. Referee Nick Patrick gets caught in the crossfire and crumbles to the mat. Kennedy takes advantage of the situation by kicking Batista square in the nuts. Kennedy goes for the pin and has Batista down for a long time but it’s meaningless as the referee is out. Once the referee gets back up, a nearfall by Kennedy but Batista kicks out. He catches Kennedy off the top rope with a clothesline then follows up with a Batista Bomb. Batista pins Kennedy.
WINNER: Batista by pinfall.
Backstage, ECW’s Thorn and his wench are happy with his number for tonight’s Rumble. Little Bastard picks the number presumably for Finlay. Coachman makes a joke at Little Bastard’s expense but soon regrets it as the little guy attacks him. The Great Khali grabs three balls out of the container and Coachman advises him he can only take one number. Kelly Kelly picks them up then says “These are the biggest balls I’ve ever held” to which Ron Simmons shows up and says “DAMN!”
Hype video for Tuesday’s DVD release of The Marine
Hype video for Wrestlemania XXIII
The rock group Saliva is doing this year’s theme for Wrestlemania. They also happy to be at ringside to watch tonight’s show.
Jim Ross and Jerry “The King” Lawler introduce a video showcasing John Cena’s recent battles with Umaga over the WWE Championship.
The rules are simple: no pinfalls, no disqualifications, no countout, & no submissions! The way you win is by beating your opponent to the point where they can’t answer the referee’s ten count. John Cena is going into the match with his abdomen busted up. Announcer Jim Ross wonders just how much punishment Cena can take with his abdominal injury. Cena starts the match off with a flurry of punches. Umaga puts a quick stop to that by blasting Cena in the ribs, knocking him out of the ring. Cena tries to get back into the ring but Umaga punches him off the mat apron. The animal-like Umaga steps out of the ring to continue his offense by tossing Cena head-first into the steel steps near the ring. Umaga and Cena trade punches on the entranceway but Umaga stops things quick by going back to Cena’s abdomen. Umaga isn’t letting up, delivering blow after blow to Cena’s abdomen. Umaga then floors Cena with a powerful clothesline which prompts the referee to make the first ten count of the match. Cena answers the ten count though. Umaga decideds to take advantage of the no rules aspect of the match and tosses the steel steps into the ring. The move backfires though as Cena grabs the steps and throws thim into Umaga’s head. Umaga is floored and the referee starts a ten count on the Samoan Bulldozer. Umaga makes it up by the count of six. Cena goes after Umaga but once again Umaga gets the upper hand by attacking Cena’s abdomen. Umaga then takes advantage of his strength by applying a bearhug on Cena, softening the champion up. A belly to belly suplex by Umaga prompts the referee to start the ten count. As he does, Umaga brings in the steel steps. Cena makes it up by the count of eight. Umaga sets the steel steps in one of the corners as Cena struggles to regain his bearings. Series of rights on Cena as Umaga sets him up against the steps. Umaga charges Cena but Cena ducks out of the way. Cena follows up by blasting Umaga in the head with the steel steps. Umaga makes it up at the six count again. Cena dives off the top rope but Umaga catches him and delivers a tilt-a-whirl-Slam (Black Hole Slam) . Cena is one hurting unit. Umaga goes to drop his knee on Cena but Cena lifts his knees up. Cena bulldogs Umaga into the steelsteps then rams his head into the steelsteps again. Both wrestlers are down and the referee starts to count both men out. Cena gets up then delivers the five knuckle shuffle. Cena rallies and goes for the F-U. Unfortunately he can’t lift Umaga up and he drops him, hitting his own head on the steel steps in the process. Cena makes it up by the nine count but his head is busted open. Umaga delivers some more punches to Cena and Cena crumbles to the mat. He makes it up by the eight count though. Umaga is just punching away at Cena but Cena does the superman comeback only to run into a Samoan Drop by Umaga, stopping him cold. As the referee makes the count, Umaga gets ready to deliver the Samoan Spike. Cena turns around and blocks the Spike but he can’t block a headbutt by Umaga. Umaga puts Cena into the tree of woe. Cena’s face is a bloddy mess. Umaga dives at Cena but Cena somehow gets up. Cena delivers a legdrop off the top rope to Umaga then rams Umaga’s head into the ringpost. Cena dives out of the ring and lays out Armando. He quickly grabs one of the television monitors at ringside then blasts Umaga square in the head with it. Umaga looks like he’s comatose as the referee starts the count on Umaga. Somehow Umaga gets to his feet though. Cena goes out of the ring and dives on Umaga but Umaga grabs him in a bearhug and drives Cena’s back into the ringpost. Umaga is dismantling the announcers’ tables as Cena lays over one of the tables. Umaga runs across all three tables and goes for a flying splash on Cena but Cena ducks out of the way, causing Umaga to break through the ECW table. The referee makes the count but Umaga makes it up before ten. Meanwhile, Armando has some sort of tool and he takes the top rope off from the ring. Umaga goes to use the turnbuckle on Cena but Cena slips out of the way. Cena blasts Umaga with the metal part of the turnbuckle then applies the STFU on Umaga, using the ring ropes for some extra effect. Cena knows he has to go the extra yard to finish Umaga off. Umaga looks like he’s out but when the referee makes the ten count, Umaga answers it. Cena goes back to the wheel and puts the STFU back on, once again using the ring ropes. This time Umaga is out though and he just can’t answer the ten count.
WINNER: John Cena
Backstage, Sandman lives things up by picking his number and enjoying a cold one (hopefully non-alcoholic due to the Wellness Program). “Nature Boy” Ric Flair shows up to pick his number when Kelly Kelly tells him “You may be last but you’re not least”. More divas show up and Flair starts dancing with them.
At ringside, Jerry Lawler chats with JBL and Michael Cole. JBL praises Cena’s match and says this is the best match he’s seen Cena in EVER.
Hype video airs for the Royal Rumble, showing some of the contest’s previous winners.
In case this is your first Royal Rumble, the way to win is being the last man left in the ring. You eliminate your opponent by throwing them over the top rope and they land with both feet on the floor. The announce team for this match is Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, and JBL.
JBL talks about the “Nature Boy’s” previous success in the Royal Rumble, wondering if he’ll repeat his success. JBL
After brawling with Finlay, “Slick Ric” goes right after Dykstra. Finlay then goes after Flair and things break down into a free-for-all.
Finlay and Dysktra have Flair on the edge of the ropes when Matt Hardy’s music plays.
Matt is a little slow getting into the ring, no doubt worn down after the match with MNM. Matt evens the odds for Flair as Flair resumes battling Kenny and Matt deals with Finlay.
Edge charges in and goes after Matt Hardy. Matt Hardy dodges a spear from Edge and delivers a Twist of Fate to Edge. Kenny and Edge double-team Flair tossing him out.
RIC FLAIR eliminated by Edge and Dykstra
Kenny forgets it’s every man for himself and finds himself tossed over the rope by Edge.
DYKSTRA eliminated by Edge
Sabu sets up a table outside the ring then goes after Matt Hardy. Meanwhile, Edge struggles to throw Finlay over the top rope.
Helms goes after after Matt Hardy, renewing their ongoing war from SmackDown!
The Big Red Machine enters the ring and goes after Edge, choking the Rated R Superstar. Kane shows why he’s such a threat in the Rumble as he throws Tommy Dreamer over the top rope.
ELIMINATED: TOMMY DREAMER by KANE
Kane continues his reign of destruction by choke-slamming Sabu through a table.
King Booker eliminates Helms.
ELIMINATED: GREGORY HELMS by KING BOOKER
Jeff Hardy is clutching his ribs as he walks towards the ring. Matt and Jeff team up and double-team Edge. They then go after Super Crazy. Things almost backfire though when they go after Kane and almost get choke-slammed in the process.
Sandman makes a dramatic entrance, entering the ring from the crowd. Sandman brandishes the Singapore Cane but it doesn’t do much good as he’s quickly eliminated by King Booker.
ELIMINATED: THE SANDMAN by KING BOOKER
Edge and RKO team up to toss Super Crazy out of the ring.
ELIMINATED: SUPER CRAZY by TEAM RATED RKO
Rated RKO continue their double team efforts by eliminating Team Extreme.
ELIMINATED: JEFF HARDY by TEAM RATED RKO
ELIMINATED: MATT HARDY by TEAM RATED RKO
Kane tosses King Booker out of the ring.
ELIMINATED: KING BOOKER by Kane
King Booker is none too happy and he goes back into the ring to lay a beatdown on Kane. Booker To tosses Kane out of the ring.
ELIMINATED: KANE by BOOKER T.
DX’ music plays and the Heartbreak Kid runs out to the ring.
ELIMINATED: FINLAY by HBK
ELIMINATED: VISCERA by just about everybody
ELIMINATED: SHELTON BENJAMIN by ??
Masters doesn’t pose and instead charges into the ring.
ELIMINATED: JOHNNY NITRO by CHRIS BENOIT
ELIMINATED: SUPER CRAZY by ?
ELIMINATED: KEVIN THORN by CHRIS BENOIT
Michael Cole talks about how MVP is still dealing with the burns he received at the Inferno Match at Armageddon
ELIMINATED: CHRIS MASTERS BY RVD
Cole, Lawler, and JBL wonder who will be able to get rid of the Great Khali.
ELIMINATED: BOB HOLLY by the GREAT KHALI
ELIMINATED: CHRIS BENOIT by the GREAT KHALI
ELIMINATED: THE MIZ by the GREAT KHALI
ELIMINATED: RVD by the GREAT KHALI
ELIMINATED: CM PUNK by the GREAT KHALI
ELIMINATED: CARLITO by the GREAT KHALI
ELIMINATED CHAVO GUERRERO by the GREAT KHALI
The Great Khali lays everyone in the ring out as the announcers wonder who can beat him. Just then, the Undertaker’s music plays.
The Undertaker goes after Khali exchanging blows. Then he does the impossible and tosses Khali out of the ring
ELIMINATED: THE GREAT KHALI by the UNDERTAKER
ELIMINATED: MVP by the UNDERTAKER
The Undertaker goes to toss Edge out by Randy Orton stops him by blasting a chair across his back.
ELIMINATED: RANDY ORTON by Shawn Michaels
ELIMINATED: EDGE by Shawn Michaels
Both HBK and the Undertaker are laying in the ring.
Undertaker chokeslams the Heartbreak Kid and it looks like things are over for him. Undertaker picks up HBK to throw him out like a dart but HBK slips out and superkicks him. In the end though, Undertaker has enough gas in the tank though to outlast HBK and he tosses Michaels over the top rope.
WINNER: THE UNDERTAKER
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