Canadian Bulldog's Breaking News: Senior Vice-President Turns On CFO
By Canadian Bulldog
Above: Wilkins poses, pre-betrayal, with one-time confidant McNally.
By Canadian Bulldog, World Wrestling Insanity News
(New Paltz, NJ) - There was a time, not too long ago, when Integrated Solutions Corporation Chief Financial Officer James Wilkins considered himself "closer than brothers" to Douglas McNally, the company's senior vice-president, investor relations.
Those days are long gone because of jealousy, betrayal and accusations over which of them "carried" Integrated Solutions' finance department.
"I was sick and tired of living in Mr. Wilkins' shadow," crowed McNally, who has grown a goatee in recent months and taken to wearing sunglasses and sequined robes to work. "It's time for me to take my rightful place in this firm. Wooooo!"
Their history began in 1999, when McNally came to Integrated Solutions following a stint at the now-bankrupt B2B Mobilnet Telesolutions.com Incorporated.
"McNally had a lot of potential, but I daresay he wouldn't have gone very far if Mr. Wilkins hadn't taken a shine to him," said Cheryl Boguski, who was worked in Integrated Solutions' payroll department for over 15 years.
Within months, the two were inseparable at company board meetings and were known to talk strategy at the annual staff holiday party. When Tekport Outsourcing Corp. wanted to acquire Integrated Solutions' proprietary software subsidiary, it was the team of Wilkins and McNally that proudly put the necessary balance sheets together.
Some say Wilkins saw McNally as his natural successor when it came time for him to retire. Unfortunately, it appears that McNally wasn't willing to wait.
Dissention became apparent in the weeks leading up to the company's annual meeting last October, when Wilkins and McNally miscommunicated a new corporate governance policy to each other. Tempers flared between the two executives before a third party (Walter Chaid in human resources) helped smooth over any hard feelings.
From there, similar problems popped up on a weekly basis. McNally became angry because Wilkins didn't answer his phone call while at the gym. Wilkins was angry that McNally kept taking his "1997 Chief Financial Officer Of The Year" plaque off his wall and parading it around as though it was his own.
"It was the strangest thing," Boguski recalls. "When they started interacting, usually on Monday nights, something always seemed to cause an argument. But by the next day, everything was back to normal."
It wasn't until earlier this month that Chaid in HR brought the two employees together to resolve their problems. After throwing around some tense accusations, Wilkins and McNally agreed to bury the hatchet for the good of their company.
Then, after they shook hands, McNally grabbed his mentor, clotheslined him, and then tossed him through the conference room's plate-glass window.
"Is there a problem in the finance department at Integrated Solutions?" sneered McNally as he tore a picture of the two in half. "I don't THINK so!"
Within weeks, McNally had transformed himself into "Dangerous Doug", complete with flashier clothes and generic heavy metal music playing every time he leaves his cubicle.
"I am going to become the next Chief Executive Officer of this company," McNally announced last week, as he was pelted with garbage by co-workers. "I will go through everyone in this firm if I have to, and that includes Mr. Wilkins."
Wilkins says that, although he'd prefer not to, he will have to eventually confront his former apprentice.
"I have been with this company for 28 years and in that time, many people have tried to show me up," a subdued Wilkins said as he slowly taped up his calculator. "IT'S GO TIME, BITCH!"
Despite the potential interest in a Wilkins-McNally confrontation, some employees would rather they simply move on to programs with other workers.
"I hope this ends soon," Bugosky said. "Riding home with them in our carpool is quite tense."
Canadian Bulldog is a borderline journalist who writes weekly for World Wrestling Insanity and Online Onslaught and has published his own book of nutty e-mails to wrestlers. See his obscenely expensive Canadian BullBLOG for more details. He welcomes your comments at CanadianBulldog@worldwrestlinginsanity.com
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