Hey guys! Welcome back to another issue of the Heat Report. Hope all is going good in your world cause in the WWE the road to Wrestlemania has officially began. Yup, it’s go time on each brand and everyone is putting their best foot forward. Top notch talent is being showcased and getting ready for some epic encounters at Mania. But if Raw, Smackdown and ECW can do it, then why not Heat? That’s right baby things are about to heat up cause times are changing. This week marks the debut (on Heat) of two new faces. Who are they you ask? Well, maybe I’ll give you a hint before the show ends. Or maybe I already have. Who knows, I am known to be a liar. Is it Samoa Joe? Brock Lesnar? Maybe Goldberg? Text your vote to 25000 and tell us now! But whoever it might be, it sure as hell ain’t Scott Steiner.

Well that didn’t take long. Yup, Scotty 2 Hotty makes his long awaited debut on Heat. Ever since Velocity got canned, Scotty’s been sitting at home waiting for a chance to be on TV. He tried everything but the best he could do was job at house shows. And since the Heat jobbers are slowly disappearing, there’s room on roster. Queue Scotty 2 Hotty. After a long needed vacation, S2H is back baby. The worm has returned and it’s gonna eat you alive. No more jobbing for Scotty. No we see brighter things in his future. Yea right. Who am I kidding, Scotty has a dimmer future than poor Val Venis. He has no purpose left in the WWE except jobbing and putting over new guys. Oh well, at least he still has a job. Every year during the firing spree, I’m always surprised to see that no one from Heat gets the boot. I guess it’s a secure investment being a jobber.

Scotty comes out to his “Turn it Up” music and funky camera angles. He’s got black pants on with white strips on sides. Lots of Scotty chants and he shows his appreciation by bowing to the audience. Tie-up and a bit of chain wrestling to start the match. Headlock applied by Scotty who gets Irish whipped to the ropes. He holds on and starts nailing some rights on Steele. Then two hiptosses by S2H have Steele reeling. Following that is a snapmare takedown after which Steele eats a dropkick to the face for a two count. Scotty applied an armlock but Steele breaks out and sends Scotty into the corner. Jared goes for a running clothesline but S2H blocks with a stiff kick to the face. He climbs the top and misses a Hurricane type spinning neckbreaker. Steele capitalizes and nails a couple of elbows on the fallen Too Cooler. Goes for a cover and gets the dos. Steele attempts a suplex but Hotty reverses it into a small package for the 2 count again.

Grounded headlock on the Scotster for quite a while but he eventually fights out. Jared’s got Wormy in the corner and nailing him with some sissy punches. Scotty tries his best to sell them but they’re pretty bad. He fights out of the corner with a couple of punches but gets a knee to the gut when he comes off the ropes. Cover by Steele and a two count. Damn, this guy goes for a cover after every move. Later, Scotty comes back with a flying clothesline, an elbow, then another elbow. Jared Steele almost dies after a nearly botched body drop. Scotty hits his patented bulldog and you know what time it is! W...O…R…M whoo, whoo, whoo whoo, chop! 1, 2, 3 and then Lilan Garcia utters the words I thought I would never hear again “Here is your winner, Scotty 2 Hotty.”

I’m actually very happy for Scotty. Everybody deserves a second chance and I’m glad Scotty got a chance to start over. The match wasn’t bad as it went back forth but in the end Scotty prevented Jared from Steele-ing the show.

Yup our 2^nd mystery debut is indeed Daniel Rodimer. You may remember him from such terrible attempts at reality television on Smackdown as “I won’t sell a scoop slam by the Big Show” or “I will make out with a hag as old as my gradma.” This collection of crap was collectively known as The Million Dollar Tough Enough Challenge which gave rise to stars like The Miz. Enough said. But this is not the same Rodimer. This guy looks mad different. It’s like a combination between Sylvan Grenier and Johnny from the Spirit Squad. He still has blond hair but he cut it to Kenny style. What surprised me is that he actually got an entrance!

To start the match, Eugene extends his hand to Rodimer. Dan shakes it but slaps the crap outta Eugene with his other hand. Then a straight punch to the face and a double axe handle smack to the back. Following that is a suplex for the two count. Announcers remind us that Rodimer is 6’ 7” while Eugene prepares for his matches by watching SpongeBob SquarePants (Shutup Coach. SponeBob is still cooler than you’ll ever be). Rodimer does something that I’ve never seen before and honestly don’t even know how to describe. He ties Eugene in the ropes (upside down might I add) and shoulderbutts him. Dan has Eugene down in the corner and chokes him with his boot. This goes on for a while until Gene comes back with a few forearms. But his efforts are cut short by a stiff Rodimer clothesline.

But then it’s time to Eugene up. Rodimer beats Gene’s head on the turnbuckle but that just makes the Crazy one get madder and madder. Then a couple of punches followed by a John Cena flying shoulderbutt. A Rockbottom follows on Rod’s bottom but he kicks out at two. Somewhere in Tinsel Town Dwayne Johnson just got cold chills. A retard just did the move that made him a 7 time WWE/F champ and a guy kicked out of it in his first match. I dunno who should be more embarrassed, The Rock or everyone that’s lost to The Rockbottom. Attempted Stone Cold Stunner blocked by Danny. Then The Rod goes for a neckbreaker but Eugene turns that into a backslide cover for the win.

What the hell was that. Rodimer was kickin’ major ass throughout the whole match and in the end Eugene is the one that gets the win. Is that how you promote new talent?! C’mon guys what possible benefit could Eugene get from this win? Absolutely nothing that’s what. Cause next week he’s gonna lose some other no name guy. Rodimer on the other hand could have made a statement with a win. Dumbass WWE.

This is just a little hype up of what we can expect outta Taker and his decision this year. I personally loved how they executed Batista’s decision and I believe it could not have been done better. He came out and Triple H gave his little speech on how great it would have been if Shawn Michaels was the WWF champion while he was the WCW Champion. DX would have ruled the world. Now Evolution has that opportunity so Batista should go to Smackdown and whoop some JBL and Cena ass. Batista thinks about it and seems content with what Hunter has to say. He takes the two contracts and holds them up. But then he makes his decision by tosses the Raw one on the ground. That’s right ladies and gentlemen, The Animal is headed to Smackdown. Flair and Trips love it and give Tista the thumbs up and Dave returns the favor. But then it happens. A great great turn. Batista wipes the smile off his face and turns that thumbs up…DOWN! Triple H can’t believe it and goes to attack Batista but the Rumble winner is rolling. He knocks Flair out the ring and then powerbombs the Holy High Hell outta Hunter Hurst Hemsley through the table. Game McSideburns goes crashing through the table and we have our Mania main event. And that one moment right there elevated Dave Batista to the top of the WWE.

See!! Seee!!! What the hell! It’s Highlanders vs. Cade & Murdoch AGAIN!!! WTF man I hate this match and this marks the 5^th time in 8 weeks that these two teams are pitted against each other. Sure they added Duggan and Vis but in reality it’s still the same match. But what can I do expect be forced to watch it. So the match starts with Robbie (I’m Robbie!) and Lance Cade who came out today without a vest. And Vince McMahon, Lance Cade does not look stupid wearing a cowboy hat. Anyways, he’s in early control of the match with lots of power punches and a back body drop. In the corner Robbie gets a boot on Cade and rolls him up with the school boy for a two count. Tag made to Duggan who immediately starts the HOs and nails in a few punches on Cade. Murdoch gets the tag and is hiptossed as soon as he gets into the ring. Duggan nails a huge scoop slam and signals for the 3 point stance. But Murdoch wisely slides out the ring and Viscera nails a cheapshot on the cornered Hacksaw.

Murdoch capitalizes and starts pummeling the grounded Duggan. Tag made back to Cade and both Rednecks beat up the Ho man in their corner. But Duggan fights out and after another back body drop he gets the tag to Rory. Rory nails in a few punches but Vis gets in the tag and nails a huge black hole slam on the baldie. He rolls out the ring in pain where he I met by Lance Cade who gives him a damn hard scoop slam on the outside. Action back in the ring as Vis gets a two count after a spinning heel kick. Tag to Cade who chops Rory so hard that his right nipple might have came off. Ouch! Tag to Murdoch and the beatdown on Rory continues with a backbreaker and then another one. Back submission applied by Murdoch but the Scotsman eventually breaks out. But he can’t get the tag cause he gets attacked by Cade who nails a great backdrop on The Highlander. He goes for two covers, both which get two counts. Cade clocks him with a couple of crossfaces and then makes the tag to Big Vis. In the corner the world’s largest love machine nails an open hand chop on Rory who at this point is close to dying. He has been taking a severe beating for quite a while. Tag to Murdoch again who goes for a suplex but Rory reverses into a small package for the two. They keep teasing the tag but every time Rory gets to the corner, someone comes and starts wailing on him. Later on in the match Murdoch applies an abdominal stretch and after a few moments, Rory counters it with a hiptoss and makes the tag!!! Yay! Here comes Robbie who cleans house with dropkicks and double axe handle smacks. Duggan clotheslines Murdoch out the ring and follows him to the outside. The Highlanders go for the Scots drop on Cade but Vis comes from behind and catches him before he hits the ground. Then he clotheslines Rory out the ring. Two on one now as Vis squashes Rory in the corner and when he comes out of it dazed, he is met with a High-Low for the win.

Wow what a finish. I don’t care how long the match was because the end was truly amazing. It was really well executed and I for one and happy for the Red Neck Wrecking Crew victory. Rory got his ass kicked the whole match but in the end it was Robbie that got pinned.

All in all…VERY good edition of Heat. It was not the same old crap this week. We saw new faces and new matches (this was the first 6 man tag on Heat since I’ve been doing the Heat Report) and they were all very entertaining. I highly recommend that you check out Heat this week. It was really good.

Thanks for clicking the link and I hope you enjoyed it. If you have any suggestions, comments or criticisms then please do tell. My e-mail address is Naeem920@gmail.com or you can hit me up with a PM at the Insanity Message Boards. My username is Naeem920.

Until then I'm Saad Naeem and that was Heat.