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WWE No Way Out Real Time Report: Match By Match Coverage
By "Realtime" Mike Rickard II
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Welcome to the WWE No Way Out '07 Real Time Report. You can interact with World Wrestling Insanity readers and staff during the event by going to the Insanity Message Boards. ClubWWI.com Members can log in now to catch all the audio posted in the last few weeks including Kevin Kelly's "Big Picture" Audio Show, Orlando Jordan's "Club O.J." Audio Report, Lisa "Ivory" Moretti's "Smack Talk" and many more! Not No Way Out Live? Welcome to WWE: No Way Out Your real-time recap brought to you by Club WWI
Live from the Staples Center, it’s No Way Out!
The Road to Wrestlemania goes through No Way Out. Your announcers are Michael Cole and JBL. JBL is none too happy when Michael Cole goes to introduce the Spanish Announce Team.
Matt Hardy and Joey Mercury get things started. Michael Cole predicts there will be more car wrecks than there were at the Daytona 500. I predict that there will be more chemical additives at tonight’s show as well. Matt starts off strong and tags in Jeff. The Hardys are making quick tags but as previous matches have shown, MNM are just as good at quick tags as the Hardys. MVP tags in and backs Matt into a corner. Unfortunately it’s not his and Chris Benoit tags in, delivering a series of blistering chops. MVP has had enough and goes to tag one of his teammates. Unfortunately for him, MNM doesn’t want any of it though and they bail out of the ring. MVP’s woes continue with Jeff tagging in and ramming MVP’s head into the turnbuckle. Finally MVP catches a break and he tags in Johnny Nitro who starts laying some hard rights on Jeff. Jeff rallies back though and finds himself chasing Nitro around the ring until Mercury jumps Jeff and knocks him off the mat apron. Nitro puts Jeff in a headlock wearing the younger Hardy Boy down. Next in is Mercury who continues the punishment with a strong chin lock. While MVP distracts the referee, MNM double-team Jeff in their corner. Jeff is in the wrong part of town as he’s now beat down by all three opponents. Nitro puts Hardy on the top rope setting him up for a superplex but Jeff knocks him off and somehow finds the energy to deliver a moonsault. Jeff makes the tag to brother Matt who comes in and cleans house, taking down both members of MNM. Side effect on Nitro for a two count. MVP comes in without a tag and back suplexes Matt. Matt gets beat down further by MVP with a side suplex. Cover on Matt but Benoit makes the save. Matt is trying to fight his way out but quick tags and fresh opponents are making things difficult. Near fall on Matt by Nitro. Nitro goes down to the mat putting Matt in a rear headlock. Hardy tries fighting out with some rights and finally lands a clothesline on Nitro. Matt makes the tag to the Rabid Wolverine Chris Benoit. Double German Suplex on MVP and Mercury. Poetry in Motion on Mercury followed by Matt landing the Twist of Fate. Jeff hits the Swanton and Chris Benoit gets in on the fun with a diving head butt on Mercury. Cover on Mercury but MVP makes the save. MVP runs in with Benoit’s U.S. title belt and swings wildly. Benoit ducks and slaps the Crippler Crossface on MVP but MVP gets a save from one of MNM. MNM are in the ring with Benoit and they set him up for the Snapshot but Matt breaks things up. Benoit rolls Mercury up for the pin but can’t get it so he turns it into a Crossface. Focusing on Mercury’s nose, the Crossface must really hurt so Mercury taps out.
WINNERS: The Hardys & Benoit
INTERVIEW: Krystal is backstage with Vicki Guerrero (widow of Hall of Famer Eddie Guerrero) . She promises a surprise for SmackDown! General manager Teddy Long this week.
BACKSTAGE:, Finlay and Little Bastard are arguing. Little Bastard says he’s scared of Little Boogeyman (Little people are scary! Little Bastard says). Finlay says he’ll go get his shileiligh but Little Bastard doesn’t want to be left alone. Finlay locks him in a garbage dumpster for safety. Not surprisingly, smoke pours out and the Little Boogeyman comes out, chasing away Little Bastard.
Daivari vs. Scott Too Hotty Daivari starts the match off with some fisticuffs but Scotty Too Hotty uses his speed to gain control. Scotty hits the Worm and gets a quick pinfall.
Scotty Too Hotty vs. Gregory Helms- Gregory Helms goes to the mat by putting Scotty in a rear headlock. Cole and JBL point out how Helms is one of the more ground based cruiserweights. Helms make short work of Scotty and gets the pinfall.
Gregory Helms vs. Funaki- Funaki tries a high cross bodyblock for a quick pin but Helms rolls with the momentum and rolls Funaki up with an assist from grabbing the tights.
Gregory Helms vs. Shannon Moore-Moore takes the fight to Helms with some brawling outside the ring followed by a neckbreaker off the top rope. When Moore goes to the top rope though, Helms grabs him and suplexes him off the top rope. That and a knee to the jaw is all Helms needs for a 1-2-3.
Gregory Helms vs. Jimmy Wang Yang-JBL dreads the thought of Jimmy winning the title, comparing him to the Village People. Yang tries some submission wrestling on Helms, throwing him off his game. He then tries a moonsault but misses and catches a hard right from Helms. Yang surprises Helms by rolling him up for the pin. Helms is pissed and lays out Helms on his way out.
Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Jamie Noble-Noble goes to capitalize on the fallen Yang but Yang manages to kick out of three pinfall attempts. JBL feels it’s an injustice that Helms had to wrestle so many people. Noble puts Yang in a Cobra Clutch, hoping to win the Cruiserweight belt. Yang breaks free and fires off some chops before Noble regains momentum. A surprising amount of submission holds with Noble trying a sleeperhold on Yang until Yang escapes with a jawbreaker. Yang fires back with a series of clotheslines followed by a sweet looking roundhouse kick. Nearfall on Noble. Both wrestlers are showing their resilence. Mafia kick on Yang by Noble. Noble has Yang on the top rope and he’s chooping away. Noble sets Yang up for a superplex but Yang knocks him off and hits him with a moonsault for the pin.
Just when it looks like Yang has won the match, Chavo’s music plays and he’s apparently the seventh (and unexpected) entrant to the Cruiserweight Invitational.
Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Chavo Guerrero: Jimmy Wang Yang looks like he’s running on empty. Chavo is dropping the dogs on Yang until Yang finds his second wind and tosses Guerrero out of the ring. Flying axehandle on Guerrero as Yang dives off of the top rope outside the ring. Missile dropkick by Yang but Guerrero ducks out. Guerrero hits the Three Amigos on Yang. Guerrero signals the crowd for the Frog Splash. Cole says Guerrero is disrespecting Eddie’s memory by using those moves. Guerrero is stopped and Yang counters with a monkey flip. Cover for a two count on Chavo. Lots of top rope action but the high risk backfires when Yang misses a moonsault and Chavo is able to hit the Frog Splash.
WINNER: Chavo Guerrero (New Cruiserweight Champion)
INTERVIEW: Krystal is backstage with WWE Champion John Cena. She asks the champ is he’s concerned about facing Batista and Undertaker with Shawn Michaels (the man who will be facing him at Wrestlemania for his title) as his partner. Cena says the only thing he’s concerned about is facing Undertaker and Batista. Tonight, he fights as hard with Shawn Michaels as he will against him at Wrestlemania.
JBL corrects Michael Cole that Little Bastard is a leprechaun. His name is not Little Bastard as his parents last name is not Bastard. JBL is disgusted by the sight of Little Boogeyman and Boogeyman, calling the match a freak show. JBL accuses Cole of being anti-immigration as Cole criticizes Irishman Finlay. Boogeyman and Finlay start the match with Boogeyman dominating things. Boogeyman throws Finlay out of the ring and tosses him around. With Finlay beat down, Boogeyman tags in the Little Boogeyman. Little Boogeyman has worms in his mouth and hands. Finlay wants to tag out but Little Bastard isn’t in a hurry to do so. Finlay helps his small friend out by giving a big boot to the head. Little Bastard runs out of the ring and hides under the ring. Finlay continues beating Little Boogeyman up. Kicks and elbows to the Little Boogeyman. Little Boogeyman is tough and kicks out of a pinfall attempt by Finlay. Armbar on Little Boogeyman but the small wrestler has a lot of heart. Finlay continues the punishment by tossing Little Boogeyman out of the ring. Little Bastard grabs him and pulls him underneath. Finlay looks under the ring and is surprised by the Boogeyman. The Boogeyman explodes into action with a shoulder block and series of double thrusts to Finlay. Boogeyman launches Finlay into the corner and continues with more brawling. Little Boogeyman gets thrown off the top rope by Boogeyman and goes for the pin on Finlay but Little Bastard makes the save. The Boogeyman chases Little bastard out of the ring scaring him away with worms. Unfortunately that leaves Finlay alone with Little Boogeyman. Finlay blasts him with the shileiligh, covering him for the pin.
WINNERS: Finlay & Little Bastard
VIDEO: Hype video for Mr. McMahon vs. Donald Trump
VIDEO: Hype video for the events leading to tonight’s Kane vs. King Booker matchup.
INTERVIEW: Krystal interviews Shawn Michaels. She asks him if he can trust John Cena. He replies there’s only one man he trusts.
King Booker does the smart thing and tries to avoid Kane but it doesn’t take long for the Big Red Machine to catch him. King Booker tries some knife edge chops on Kane but he might as well be chopping a brick awall. Kane beats King Booker down and blasts him with an elbowsmash off the rope. King Booker slows Kane down with an thumb to the eye but it’s not long before Kane knocks him back down again; this time with a backbreaker. After a big boot on King Booker, Kane knocks him out of the ring with a massive clothesline. Kane continues the punishment outside the ring as referee Charles Robinson orders him back in the ring. Distracted by the referee, Kane falls prey to a sneak attack by King Booker and gets his head tossed into the ringpost. King Booker throws Kane back in and sees he needs to do something big so he tries a missile dropkick on Kane, executing it perfectly. King Booker grabs ahold of Kane’s left arm using a ground attack. Kane powers out though and knocks King Booker down. Kane climbs the top rope but instead of hitting a clothesline on King Booker, he gets blasted with a kick from the five time WCW Champion. King Booker delivers his patented kick to Kane but it’s not enough for a three count. Kane gets up and fires back with a series of rights. Both men fly off the top rope but King Booker is the one who scores a hit; this time a flying forearm. Not enough for the three count though so King Booker lays on some hard rights to Kane. King Booker has Kane in the corner and he’s peppering him with some hard rights. Kane is down in the corner so Booker brings him up to his feet. King Booker tries a suplex but Kane isn’t moving. Reversal by Kane as Booker gets floored. Both men are down but Kane gets to his feet first. However King Booker surprises him with a reverse kick and covers him for the pin. King Booker doesn’t seem to have much in the pin and Kane kicks out. Both men start exdchanging blows and Kane gets the better of it. Kane goes for a chokeslam but King Booker kicks his way out. King Booker goes for the Bookend but misses and Kane catches him with a brutal clothesline. Both men are down and the referee is counting them out. Kane gets up and delivers more punishment to King Booker. Kane hits the top rope and this time he successfully delivers a flying clothesline. Kane goes for the chokeslam but Queen Sharmell distracts him and King Booker gets him with a kick. It’s not enough though and Kane shrugs it off, delivering the chokeslam to King Booker. King Booker crumbles and Kane pins him.
WINNER: Kane by pinfall.
INTERVIEW: Krystal interviews Batista about his team with Undertaker and reminds him of Undertaker choking him. Video footage replays the incident. Krystal asks “The Animal” if he’s intimidated by Undertaker and he replies that he’s not intimidated by anyone.
JBL and Cole talk about Deuce and Domino’s impressive record in SmackDown!. JBL says he doesn’t like their Lords of Flatbush gimmick but they’re impressive nonetheless. Michael Cole is losing his voice as JBL predicts a Deuce & Domino title win tonight. Paul London and Domino start things off. Quick tag to Kendrick as Domino reaches for the tag. Another tag between Kendrick and London. Deuce runs in without the tag but he’s quickly tossed out by Kendrick and London. Deuce and Domino rally outside the ring but when Domino runs in the ring, it’s more of the same. Blind tag to Deuce and London falls prey to a double team. Domino puts London in a surfboard followed by an underhook suplex. Nearfall on London but Kendrick makes the save. Domini tags Deuce in as London tries to fight his way to the tag. Deuce uses London like a human javelin and hurls him into the corner. Deuce and Domino have cut the ring in half, trapping London from his partner. London looks to make the tag but he’s knocked off the mat apron by Deuce. London is fighting for survival as Deuce and Domino attack him but they get cocky, allowing London to make the hot tag. Kendrick rolls but gets clotheslined on the rebound. Deuce and Domino go for the Doomsday Device but Kendrick ducks and the move fails. In the confusion, Kendrick rolls Domino up for the pin. Or is it Deuce? I can’t tell the two apart.
WINNERS: Kendrick & London by pinfall
VIDEO: Hype video airs for Bobby Lashley. A look at Lashley’s struggles growing up and his transformation into a wrestling superstar.
INTERVIEW: Krystal interviews Mr. Kennedy and asks him about his thoughts on Bobby Lashley. He says his thoughts about Lashley are exactly what his thoughts are on the people of Los Angeles-phony wannabes. He asks the citizens of L.A. how many came there to be famous only to get nowhere. He says they’re on the outside looking in at people like him and Krystal. Mr. Kennedy says he’s beat Lashley before and he’s going to do the same again tonight. Tonight he’s going to declare himself the winner of the match and new ECW Champion. Mr. Kennedy’s speech is cut short by Bobby Lashley who gets in his face and tells him he’s got one word for him- halitosis. Kennedy goes to punch Lashley but Lashley blocks him and knocks him down.
Mr.Kennedy attacks Lashley from behind on his way into the ring but Lashley quickly recovers and tosses Mr. Kennedy into the ring. Lashley is manhandling Mr. Kennedy. The action spills outside the ring where Lashley continues to control the pace, throwing Kennedy back into the ring. Eye poke to Lashley gives Kennedy some breathing space but Lashley quickly counters an Irish whip, turning it into a backdrop. Big body slam by Lashley. Lashley lays Kennedy out with a brutal clothesline. Lashley picks Kennedy up for a powerful vertical suplex then goes for the pin. Kennedy kicks out and lays into Lashley with several kicks. Kennedy continues kicking Lashley as he crumbles in the corner. Kennedy gets caught off guard and Lashley tries for the Torture Rack but Kennedy escapes by raking Lashley’s eyes. Kennedy puts Lashley in a reverse figure four, centering Lashley in the center of the ring. Lashley finally powers out by spinning out of the move but Kennedy is right back on him, this time working on Lashley’s knee. Kennedy continues to work over Lashley’s knee until the champion somehow finds his way to the ring rope for a break. Lashley unloads on Kennedy with some big rights. When he goes for a body slam on Kennedy, his leg goes out and he crumbles to the mat. Kennedy puts Lashley in the corner and works over his knee further. Cover on Lashley but there’s enough life left in the champ to kick out. Kennedy follows up with more abuse on Lashley’s knee then tosses him headfirst into the corner. Kennedy is testing the referee by choking Lashley in the corner, breaking the hold right before the five count. DDT on Lashley but Kennedy fumbles with his pinfall, giving Lashley enough time to kick out. Kennedy goes back to the knee, this time with a half Boston Crab. Lashley counters out and tries to roll Kennedy up but he doesn’t have enough to get the pin. Kennedy plants him with a reverse Samoan Drop then heads to the top rope for the Kenton Bomb. Lashley finds enough energy to lift his knees, catching Kennedy square in the breadbasket. Both men are down now. T-Bone suplex on Kennedy and a nearfall on Kennedy. Bobby Lashley picks Kennedy up for the Torture Rack and turns it into a backbreaker as JBL makes a dig at Lex Luger (saying he’s nowhere near the total package Lashley is). Another nearfall on Kennedy. Kennedy inadvertently hits referee Nick Patrick and goes for a steel chair. The referee’s back is turned as Kennedy blasts Lashley with the chair. Lashley gets the chair himself and blasts Kennedy with it. Unfortunately the referee sees him and disqualifies him.
WINNER: Mr. Kennedy by disqualification.
After the match, Bobby Lashley vents his frustration on Mr. Kennedy by hitting him numerous times with the steel chair. JBL is disgusted by Lashley’s actions and accuses him of getting intentionally disqualified to retain his championship.
JBL and Michael Cole announce that while Rey Mysterio is still rehabbing his knee, he will be on SmackDown! this Friday.
VIDEO: Preview for the upcoming WWE Films release The Condemned
INTERVIEW: At ringside, Michael Cole interviews Vinnie Jones, the co-star of The Condemned. Jones says he’s the real star of the film and that he could kick Stone Cold’s ass.
7. DIVA TALENT INVITATIONAL : The Miz tells the fans to forget the other talent shows they’ve seen and prepare for the first ever WWE Diva Talent Invitational. The ECW Vixens are in the ring showcasing the skills that no doubt would make them lots of money if there was a pole in the ring. Next up comes Jillian (former image consultant for JBL) who says tonight is her “big break”. She’s going to wow the Hollywood executives who came to see her and runs down Grammy winners Mary J Blige and the Dixie Chicks. She says she’s written her own song to showcase her musical talents. It’s a Jillian original. Jillian breaks into a truly awful singing performance as the Miz calls her the “female equivalent of William Hung”. She berates the Vixens, saying they’re not even good enough to be her backup singers. She calls all of the Divas talentless bitches. Just then come out Candace, Maria, and ?. They get in her face and promptly beat her down. Things quickly deteriorate as all the Divas start fighting each other. It’s a catfight of epic proportions until SmackDown! referees come out to break things up. The upcoming Playboy cover girl Ashley shows up and takes off her tope. Unfortunately her boobies are covered up with bunny-shaped pasties. The Miz declares her the winner of the Talent Invitational as the other Divas look on with disdain.
VIDEO: Hype video for Wrestlemania XXIII
VIDEO: Hype video showing the events leading to tonight’s Main Event vs. Main Event Match.
JBL recalls how Batista won his first world championship in the Staples Center and wonders how he feels, knowing his Wrestlemania opponent is 14-0 at the big show. This is a truly special event as you have two current world champions as two former (multiple time) world champions as well. Two dream teams to say the least. John Cena and Batista start the match off as JBL says it’s not a question of if but a question of when one of the partners turns on each other. Batista starts things off with some brawling tactics, punching and kicking Cena. Cena fires back with some rights of his own but soon finds himself tosses into the ring and tossed around the ring. Nice vertical suplex by Batista. Batista gives Cena a chance to recover when he charges Cena in the corner and Cena rolls out of the way. HBK tags in then peppers Batista with some Flair-like knife-edge chops. However they have little effect and Batista starts throwing HBK around the ring like a ragdoll. Batista catches HBK off the top rope with a clothesline that nearly decapitates him. Undertaker tags in and starts working his arm over with a brutal Armbar. Undertaker goes Old School on HBK before throwing him into the corner. Undertaker covers HBK but someone as experienced as Undertaker should know how much it takes to pin HBK. Undertaker tags in Batista who works over HBK but not enough to stop him from tagging in Cena. Cena comes in to a mild chorus of boos as the Undertaker tags in as well. Undertaker (UT) beats Cena down and goes to the top rope for Old School again but Cena peppers him with some rights. He then tries for a SuperPlex but the Undertaker knocks him off. Cena’s like a bulldog though and he gets back to the top rope before UT can get down, this time succeeding with a Superplex. Cena bounces off the rope but UT catches him with a clothesline. UT goes for a legdrop but Cena ducks out and he tags in HBK. HBK knocks UT down and gets in his face only to catch a choke from UT. UT picks HBK up like a feather then throws him over the top rope. John Cena wants to get in but referee Charles Robinson is stopping him. Outside the ring, Batista gets some extra punishment in on HBK by tossing him into the ring steps. HBK is getting beat like a drum by Batista and things start to look even worse as the UT tags in. UT lays out some more punishment to HBK but misses a charge into the ring and catches his knee in the corner. Cena encourages HBK to make the tag but first he has to get past the UT. It doesn’t look like he’s going to get anywhere as UT blasts him with a side suplex. Batista tags in, clotheslining HBK down as JBL notes Batista and UT seem to be working more effectively as a team than HBK and Cena. Batista puts HBK in a headlock but HBK starts to rally with some punches. HBK runs off the ropes and catches Batista with a DDT. That’s all he needs to make the hot tag to Cena. Cena runs in, knocking Batista down. Cena then dives off the top rope, hitting Batista with a nice looking legdrop. Cover on Batista but UT makes the save. Cena clotheslines the UT out of the ring then signals the fans that the Five Knuckle Shuffle is next. And it is! Cena picks Batista up for the FU but UT breaks it up with a big boot. HBK has had enough and he tosses UT out of the ring. When he goes to land a flying elbowsmash on UT, he’s caught and the UT drives him facefirst into the ringpost. Back in the ring, Batista has Cena up for the Batista Bomb. HBK runs into the ring just in time to clip Batista and stop the Batista Bomb. Cena tags HBK in and HBK is wrestling like he just started the match off. Cena comes back in and floors Batista with a clothesline. A cover on Batista by Cena but UT makes the save. Another quick tag by HBK who gets a nearfall on Batista. HBK takes Batista to the mat with a front facelock. Batistais worn and cut off from the UT. Another fresh tag to Cena as more boos fill the Staples Center. Cena ignores them and slaps a sleeperhold on Batista who is busted open below the left eye. Cena then changes gears and puts Batista in a front facelock. Batista escapes but he has no idea where he’s at and he tries to tag in HBK. Cena capitalizes on his mistake and puts Batista into the STFU. Batista is locked in the STFU in the middle of the ring as the UT watches on. Finally, the UT comes in for the save. Bodyslam on Batista followed by a tag to HBK. HBK hits a flying elbowsmash off the top rope. He taunts UT with a crotch chop before he goes for a Superkick. Batista ducks the Superkick though and makes the tag to UT. HBK bails out, tagging Cena. UT hits the Snake Eyes on HNK before returning to beat on Cena. UT lays out Cena with a lariat off the top rope. He then goes for a chokeslam on Cena as Batista takes HBK out with a spinebuster. Out of nowhere, Batista stops the UT and floors him with a Batista Bomb. Batista bails out of the ring. The three remaining wrestlers are down and out. HBK is first to get to his feet and he lands a SuperKick on UT. Cena is there to pick up UT and he hits the FU, followed by the pin.
WINNERS: John Cena pins UT.
After the match, Batista returns to the ring and stands over UT, gloating. Batista stands on the entranceway, egging UT on.
Solid (nearly) three hours of WWE Sports Entertainment. An excellent PPV to lead into Wrestlemania.
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