So, it's only me that gets to see Smackdown before it airs in the US!  Because if you didn't see the headline directly below this one, James Guttman has done a podcast (or is it InsanityCast around here?) talking about this week's Smackdown.  The one you're just about to read about.  Go to http://www.clubwwi.com to check it out!

LAST WEEK ON SMACKDOWN:  Boogeyman took a page out of Finlay’s book, John Cena probably caused many injuries and RAW turned up.  No, it really did.  They were everywhere.  I thought I was watching RAW half the time…

THIS WEEK…

Not the greatest example of bastardry...

After a recap of events from the point of Undertaker choosing to face Batista at Wrestlemania, this week kicked off with an immediate reaction to what happened at the end of No way Out, when Batista "turned" on The Undertaker, costing Smackdown the main event against John Cena & Shawn Michaels.  In a VERY cold open, Michael Cole (with his voice) were already in the ring, as Shoelace introduced the man who hurt the man he wasn't supposed to hurt against the men he was supposed to hurt, Dave Batista.  Yep, that man.

Batista came out to a largely positive reaction.  Cole began to ask what the dillio was with Batista's actions, but Batista took the mic from Cole and took it from there.  Now if you hoped that this was the beginning of a Batista heel turn (like me), then you are about to be rather disappointed.  He said that even before he came to the WWE, he knew about Taker, before mentioning his 14 & 0 streak at Mania.  Did he join in the last year, if he knew about the 14 & 0 streak before joining?  Either way, he said that he wouldn't apologise for his actions, but when Batista was chosen to be Taker's opponent, he took a chokeslam, so basically payback was a bitch and now, they were even, and they would now bring their "A-Games" to Wrestlemania.  Deacon Dave then talked about how he respected Taker, but he wasn't intimidated.  Batista said it didn't matter who was cheered, as it was all about competition.  He finished by saying he was walking in as Champion, and he planned on walking out as Champion.  Well, that hardly lit a fire under anything...

Where it all began...if you forget all his year's of work before...

And we start a night of Rey recaps, the first of which was Rey announcing he was teaming with Eddie, with them winning the titles at No Way Out.

Matt Hardy, Paul London & Brian Kendrick def. Deuce, Domino & Joey Mercury in a "Who’d have banked on seeing this match happening???" match

After a Maryse introduction )where he looked so orange, it must have been a rib on the money-grabbing Hogan, we came to our first match, as Matt Hardy came out for his second six-man tag match in a week.  Meanwhile, London & Kendrick came out with Sable Ashley.  And as Deuce & Domino came out, JBL got in a rib on Cole losing his voice at the PPV.  I MUST have D&D's entrance theme.  It's so damn catchy!

Cole got ribbed again as the faces took control of the match at the beginning.  The face team worked over Mercury to begin with, making their trademark fast-tag-off-the-top-rope-onto-the-arm opening.  Kendrick was caught over the top rope by Domino, allowing the heels to take over. Deuce was brought into the match, but all the heels took an equal share at turning Spanky into a bitch.

The beatdown continued, even over a commercial break (or at least one of those "Holy crap, you Americans take far too many breaks to hawk stuff!" mini-breaks we get in the UK, as when we return, Mercury had a big ol' boot in Kendrick's gut.  However, Mercury made a mistake in going after London & Hardy on the apron, as Hardy blocked and punched Mercury, which allowed Kendrick to make the hot tag to Hardy.  Hardy went to work on Mercury, as London & Kendrick dived onto Deuce & Domino.  Mercury took off the face guard and took a swing, but Hardy ducked and hit the Twist Of Fate for the win!

Thoughts - 7/10 - Yep, decent enough action to start with.  It did all the things it needed to accomplish.

The cryptic storyline time forgot?

Kristal introduced her "fabulous" guest, Vicki Guerrero.  Kristal brought up Vicki's thing from No Way Out.  Vicki said everything had been taken care of.  The two then hug.  Is it just me, or is there something of a lesbian overtone between the 2 women?  Or should I just not go there, lest I give someone ideas.  However, the brevity of this bit suggests they either forgot about this bit (possible, since NO spoilers mentioned it), or they wrote too full a show, and had to cut it for the week, but included the short bit since Vicki said on the PPV she would be turning up.  At least she didn't have anything to do with Rey's bit...

The year Eddie Rey won the Rumble...

After a quick recap of the Money In The Bank qualifying match from RAW (why not the one form ECW?), and a proper commercial break, we shoot back to last January, when Rey won the Rumble match. eliminating Randy Orton.

Chavo Guerrero def. Scotty Taylor in a "If I had a knife near me right now, I'd have slit my wrists..." match

And with that, we segue into the guy who put Rey out, and the new Cruiserweight Champion, as Chavo Guerrero made his way out.  Chavo got some good heat, which Cole surmised was largely because he took Rey out.  Scotty then made his way out, and I still hate him so much, I'm yearning for some Slutty Nitro Girl action...

It's all pretty back and forth to start, as we saw Gregory Helms in the back watching on TV.  Well, at least we're not forgetting he existed...  Chavo took control when he dumped Scotty off the top rope to the floor, hitting various moves, before settling on a surfboard.  Even though Scotty got out of it, Chavo stayed on Taylor, with an abdominal stretch, transitioning into a backbreaker.

HOWEVER, Scotty made a comeback, which included a Worm.  Yes.  The whole thing.  From beginning to end.  The worst God damn move in the whole of pro wrestling.  No move you can name from Cena, Rock or Hogan is worse.  believe me, In front of my computer, I'm shouting expletives that would make your mother blush, lest I can't write them here on the ground of taste and decency.  Chavo, devastated at having to take the damn move, rolled out of the ring (quite probably to have a cry, and I wouldn't blame him one bit...), only to be hit with a somersault senton on the outside by Scotty.  Scotty went for a Sunset Flip, but Chavo got out of it, and made a pin himself, using the ropes for leverage to get the three.

Thoughts - 5.5/10 - Being the objective person I am, I should say that was a pretty decent match.  However, we're talking about Scotty here, so screw objectivity.  Scotty got FAR, FAR, FAR, FAR, FAR, FAR too much offence that a dink like him should get, and not only that, he got to hit his sodding move.  And then, just to put the capper on it, Chavo had to cheat to win.  Why is Scotty getting a damn push all of a sudden?  Sure, we saw Helms in the back, but aside from a mention at the top of the match, where was Jimmy Wang Yang?  He thought he had the belt won!  He should be looking for payback!

And so it began...a bad title reign, that is...

Now, in Rey's life, we move onto Wrestlemania, and they kept it short, lest they have to show Kurt Angle much...

From The Vault TIVO...

It was time for the Vault bit of the UK Broadcast.  And guess what.  It was just like last week.  DECEMBER OF LAST YEAR!!!  This week, it was a Kane/Ken Kennedy match, as they hyped up their respective matches at Armageddon.  Again, if you wish to read it, it's all there via the appropriate links on the left.  I ain't repeating myself.  After this and the Worm, I REALLY want to watch Extreme Expose...

King Booker def. Kane in a "Well, the best competition is on Smackdown..." Falls Count Anywhere match

And, forgetting the Vault section ever existed, we segued into the guy who took the belt form Rey, King Booker, soon followed by a man I just saw, Kane.  As the two circled each other, Cole reminded us fully of how Edge won the first match, winning the Title at New Year's Revolution, before BREIFLY mentioning how RVD did something similar.  As Kane took the best of the early exchanges, they quickly went to the outside, with a 2 count on Booker on the floor.  Booker took over with  some kicks as the announcers hit a nice exchange on the lack of opportunities to headline Wrestlemania.  it spilled out again, with Booker in control.  He pushed Kane's head into the announce table and rolled him in, before getting the ring bell.  Booker swung for Kane, but took a big punch, spilling the action to the outside again.  They made their way up to the entrance way, where Booker hit a DDT on the steel stage, but he only got a 2 count.  Booker stayed on Kane, although how he thought a couple of stomps would get him a three count, I don't know.  Booker missed a scissor kick, allowing Kane to hit uppercuts while they headed back towards the ring.  Booker got sent into the step for a couple, as, for once, JBL praised Long for making the match.  Kane, drove Booker's back into the ring post before sending him back into the ring.  Sharmell distracted Kane for long enough for Booker to use the ring bell on Kane's noggin (with a nice "ding!" sound) as we took a few minutes out to promote goods and services...

Back from break, the King was in control, as he was wrapped around Kane's arm.  Kane tried to Samoan Drop out of it, but it didn't work.  Kane did get out, but Booker took him down again, getting a couple of 2 counts.  Booker went for a chair, but it was only kicked back into his head, for a 2 count.  Kane went up top, and hit his clothesline for 2.  Kane worked Booker over in the corner, with punches and a couple of clotheslines.  A Sidewalk Slam scored 2, but Booker tossed Kane over the top rope, but got caught for a chokeslam.  However, just as Kane was about to put Booker away, THE GREAT KHALI came out and beat Kane up, with headbutts, before sending Kane through the guard rail!  Booker, rather astounded, still took advantage, and booked his place in the Money In The Bank match.

Thoughts - 6.5/10 - This was OK.  It was pretty much a stand-up brawl though, and they didn't really make the most of the Falls Count Anywhere or the No DQ nature of the match until the very end.  I like Booker in the MITB match, much in the same way as the Rumble gave Booker something to assume he'd win easily.  Plus his involvement could give us a few cool spots, since he's not a ladder match "regular", much like Kane was one 2 years ago, and Finlay & Flair were last year.

Why we have our current Colour Announcer...

Back to remembering how Rey used to be, we got to remember that glorious day when out went the often well worked, but limited, JBL main events, as Rey defeated JBL to send him into early retirement, with him getting the full "Na Na Na Na" treatment...

Finlay & Little Bastard def. Boogeyman & Little Boogeyman in a "I don’t mind this.  I don’t mind this at all…" match

Despite it being a tag match, Finlay was all on his lonesome.  Not that Little Bastard got his own entrance.  He was just nowhere to be seen.  The Boogeymen made their entrance with the little guy on the bigger ones back, before crawling under his legs.  Just as the match was due to begin, Little Bastard made himself seen, hiding under the apron.

After taking a break, we joined in progress with Boogeyman coming off the top rope onto Finlay's boot.  However, Boogeyman stayed on top of Finlay, although Finlay dodged out of the way, Boogey hitting the ringpost with his shoulder.  Finlay went for the bag of worms, eventually stomping on them, before throwing some at Cole.  Little Boogeyman hit a low blow (or is it a high blow, in his case).  Little Boogeyman actually started laying in punches on Finlay, when Little Bastard hit the ring.  The two duked it out.  Finlay kicked Little Boogey in the face, only to get the compliment returned by Boogeyman.  Boogeyman then went for Little Bastard, but Finlay hit Boogeyman with the shillelagh, which allowed Little Bastard to hit a DDT and score the win for his team!  Remarkable!

Thoughts - 6/10 - They kept it brief, but it was entertaining enough.  I suppose that's the final pay off though, since the Irish dup have now won twice.

Booyaka, Booyaka...619!  Booyaka, Booyaka...Rey gets beaten...

After the final commercial break (well, they ain't sticking one in a interview segment), we see Maryse for a second time, sipping on a glass of Bubbly, before Cole & JBL pimp that Undertaker will be on next week's show, and he'll have something to say!  Well, I suppose it's not every week that happens...

Anyway, it was the moment that they had been waiting for, Rey.  He came out, in a black suit, white shirt, and had borrowed Kevin Thorn's cane for the occasion.  Something always kills me about seeing a guy in a suit and a mask.  Actually, he looked quite the pimp.  He chatted with the kids at ringside before hitting the ring.

He said it was good to be back in the WWE ring again (I would say, so much for the TNA rumours...), but it was better to be back in the 619.  He said he was ahead of schedule in his recovery (what wrestler isn't these days?), before hitting the Spanish.  And then, in the shock of shocks, Vince McMahon came out, in a very nasty cream-checked jacket.  he was soon followed by about 100 security guys.  Well, maybe not 100, but a whole ton of them.  You'd think Trump was gonna sneak attack him with a pair of hair clippers...

Vince proceeded to take a shot at Rey's size (much like he did with Orton, except in Rey's case, it was a slur on his lack of vertical size).  Vince hyped his Hair match at Mania, saying that Trump would get humiliated, talking about how he would strap Trump down in the chair and rather than use tools, probably just pull the hair out by the roots.  Vince asked Rey who he though would win.  Rey stayed silent.  Vince thought Rey couldn’t hear him "down there).  Vince tried again, on one knee, at which point, Rey called Vinny Mac a loser.  Vince said he didn't really care, as it was the US and there was Freedom Of Expression.  That was before he introduced out his "superstar designee" (that's how he put it...), Umaga!

The Bulldozer hit the ring, as Vince asked Rey if his opinion on Vince's loserness had changed.  Rey said nothing, since it was obvious what was coming.  As it went, Vince actually swiped Rey's cane and hit him with it, before tossing him to the Samoan for one of their people's patented "drops".  Vince decided to instruct Umaga to destroy Rey in the corner, with a running ass splash.  The dastardly heels were about to leave, but Vince decided he wanted to see some more of Umaga's killing skills close up.  So Umaga dragged Rey to the centre of the ring, went up top and hit a splash on Rey's legs.  The show ended with medics clearing up the remains of Rey, putting him in a neck brace and onto a back board.

OVERALL - 6/10 (- 1 on last week) - Not a great show this week, but it was OK.  The main thing that moved on was Booker moving onto the Money In The Bank match, while at the same time setting up the BATTLE OF THE HOSSES~! with Khali vs. Kane.  Other than that, not much moved forward.  However, it did feel as though they wrapped up No Way Out nicely, did a nice bit with Rey, helping promote the Hair match, which is rightfully being treated as a big deal, before hopefully moving onto setting Wrestlemania matches.  With Nitro being out of the Money In The Bank, I would hope the anticipated MNM/Hardyz blow off happens, while there is some deal with the tag belts.  All in all, watchable, but nothing desperately unmissable.

That’s all I got for now, but if you have something to say about this week’s Smackdown, you can e-mail me at dedicated e-mail address, or come hunt me down on the WWI Forums!

OR, you can find me along with the rest of the dribbling masses on MY OWN MYSPACE PAGE!

Well, I’ll be back soon enough, but for now, I believe I’ve fulfilled my contractual obligations.  For reading this, And continuing to support World Wrestling Insanity, you’re cooler than the other side of the pillow…

I’m out.