3/5 WWE RAW: Mallory's Ongoing Coverage of the Show
By Mallory Mahling
Welcome to WWI's real-time coverage of Raw. You may need to hit "refresh" from time to time for the latest update. Raw was live tonight from the U.S. Airways Center in Phoenix, Arizona. This was the first Raw TV from Phoenix in nearly two years. Shawn Michaels was backstage stretching when John Cena walked up and questioned whether HBK would turn on him. He'd stabbed plenty of his partners in the back, after all. Cena wanted some peace of mind, but HBK couldn't offer any. Nonetheless, Cena assured him he'd have HBK's back tonight in his match against Orton. HBK graciously said he didn't need his help. The show cut abruptly to a commercial. Just as abruptly, the show came back on and Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler were welcoming viewers to the show. Somebody new in the production truck? (1) Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton (w/Edge). J.R. said Orton seemed to be the odd man out at WrestleMania. HBK dumped him over the side and bounced him off the announce table. Boot to HBK's face from Orton. Orton elevated HBK over the top rope to the outside, and as the show went to break, Edge was approaching Michaels with bad intentions. (Commercial break) Returning to the match, Orton had a Boston crab on Michaels, who was trying his darnedest to reach the ropes. He finally made it. Orton dropped Michaels head-first with a modified DDT. Orton went for two near falls. When that didn't work, Orton tried to submit him. At one point they were both being counted out, but Michaels came off the top rope and dropped an elbow on Orton. The crowd as going nuts as HBK tuned up. Michaels got RKO'ed, but the ref got taken out, too. Edge tried to interfere, but by the time the referee was paying attention, Michaels had pinned Orton for the 1-2-3. Team RKO, always good sportsmen, dropped HBK head first on a steel chair. About that time Cena ran out to make the save. "A day late and a dollar short," as the announcers pointed out. (Commercial break) Mick Foley with a promo for his new book. Available tomorrow at fine bookstores everywhere. Last Tuesday night on ECW, Umaga and Bobby Lashley displayed their ferocity. In his office, Mister McMahon asked Estrada what kind of mood Umaga was in tonight for his match with Jeff Hardy. Coach told the McBoss he looked stressed about the Board of Director's choice for guest referee. McMahon said the Board of Directors would do exactly what he told them to do. He backpedaled a bit, sounding unsure. Then he said hoped they'd see the wisdom of a guest ref like his son, Shane. The crowd booed. Coach, on the other hand, told McMahon he was a genius. (2) Intercontinental Championship Match: Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga. Been there. Done that. With the same results. Can Umaga destroy Lashley as easily at WresleMania and save Mister McMahon's hair? (Commercial break) Various celebrities were polled as to who would make the better bald billionaire--Trump or McMahon. Todd Grisham interviewed Carlito and Ric Flair about their new-found respect. They'd be going one-on-one later for the last spot in the Money-in-the-Bank Ladder Match at 'Mania. Flair said he'd win the match and would go on to win the title for the 17th time. Carlito said he'd do everything possible to win, even if he had to go through Flair. Flair had the last "whooo," of course. McDaddy was on the phone to son Shane who was at the airport. (Commercial break) Chris Masters was in the ring for a Master Lock Challenge. "Hooooooooo," hollered Hacksaw Jim Duggan as he came out to be the next victim…err…challenger. Duggan tried his best, but you know how it goes. Masters wins…even when he doesn't win. They keep forgetting about the occasions when the Master Lock has been broken. Whatever. McMahon was on his way to the ring for the announcement about the special guest referee. (Commercial break) Cena was in the locker room. He said something to Shawn Michaels, but the sound wasn't turned up, so goodness knows what he said. Whatever it was, Michaels looked crabby. Mister McMahon (wearing a Trump-like pink power tie) tried to make the announcement, but the crowd was booing him loudly. But first he had another announcement. Next week there would be a contract signing between McMahon and The Donald. McMahon promised Trump a Billionaire Bitch Slap if circumstances warranted. McMahon started to make his announcement when Eric Bischoff came out. McMahon started sputtering and Eric assured him that he was not the special guest referee. He happened to live in Phoenix and stopped by to say hello. Bischoff had a bone to pick after getting fired in such humiliating fashion a few months ago. He wanted Vince to know how much he was going to enjoy watching Donald Trump shave McMahon's head. McMahon gave Bischoff the bum's rush and wanted to get down to business. He started to introduce the guest referee again, and out came Mick Foley in his handmade referee shirt. McMahon looked relieved. Foley reminded McMahon that when he'd left WWE, he had been kissing Vince's ass, and now Vince was kissing his. McMahon wanted to let bygones be bygones. Foley asked for his old job back, and Vince granted Mick's wish. He also asked for some gratuitous plugging of his new book, "The Hardcore Diaries." Then Mick asked McMahon to take care of his rather large room service bill. McMahon agreed. Then Mick announced he would be guest referee, but at a rib-eating contest in Phoenix. McMahon exploded and kicked Foley and the Phoenix Suns' gorilla mascot (who would be a participant in the eating contest) out of the ring. At last, Shane arrived. He looked worried and said the Board had voted 5 to 4. They'd lost. His dad demanded to know who would be the guest referee, and Shane looked reluctant to tell him. Shane whispered something in McMahon's ear. Suddenly the glass shattered and the crowd blew the roof off the place. Out came Stone Cold Steve Austin. McMahon tentatively extended his hand, and Stone Cold called for some Steveweisers to mark the occasion. But Austin refused to shake McMahon's hand or swill a beer with him. He did, however, spray a can of beer in McMahon's face and all over his pink tie. (Commercial break) Foley and his pal the gorilla were having a lively conversation, which led Ron Simmons to say--DAMN. The guest ring announcer for the next match was Ashley, who will be appearing on the cover of "Playboy" soon. Jerry Lawler had an advance copy of the magazine and he drooled all over it. (3) WWE Women's Championship: Mickie James vs. Melina. Falls count anywhere. Melina was busy posing for pictures, which gave Mickie the first strike. They immediately headed backstage and visited the make-up table and the ladies' locker room, leaving a path of destruction in their wake. Candice Michelle, wearing only a bath towel, had a wardrobe failure and the screen went black. Ya can't show nekked divas during prime time. (Commercial break) Back to the match, and the ladies were rolling down the ramp in the direction of the ring. Melina won the match with a sloppy finisher, then slid out of the ring and got in Ashley's face. Ashley pushed Melina down (they were just asking for another wardrobe failure), and went to help Mickie. (Commercial break) (4) Money-in-the-Bank Qualifier: Ric Flair vs. Carlito (w/Torrie). Chops were served on both sides, then Flair took an awkward-looking back body drop. Inverted atomic drop by Flair. Flair dropped a knee on Carlito and went for a cover. In mid-match the Great Khali came down the ramp and destroyed both Flair and Carlito. So does this mean that Khali is taking the last spot? He said something on the mic, but it's anyone's guess what it was. If anybody ever needed a mouthpiece, it's this guy. (Commercial break) J.R. said that Steve Austin would appear on ECW tomorrow night. The next inductee into the Hall of Fame will be Nick Bockwinkel. Backstage, Edge asked Orton if he had his back. Sorry, said Orton, he had a meeting with Coach. Simply stated, he did not have Edge's back. (Commercial break) (5) Edge vs. John Cena. John Cena had the Phoenix audience eating out of his hand all night, and he got a tremendous pop when he came down to the ring. Instead of Edge coming out, Melina, Mercury and Nitro came out. They took their places at ringside, then Edge came out. He said he was ready to kick Cena's butt, but went on to insult the "bigots" in Phoenix as it pertained to Martin Luther King Day. Edge said Nitro would be taking his place. It was a flimsy and convoluted excuse and not worth repeating. Cena's head bounced off the ring post and then he got slammed into the steel steps. Cena got his second wind and was about to plant Nitro, but it turned into a three-on-one attack. HBK ran down the ramp, then stopped and walked away. He thought better of it and ran in to make the save. Cena didn't know what to make of it. * * * Tonight's show was better than your average bear. Having Stone Cold back, if only for a short while, gave Monday night rasslin' a familiar feel and the star power WrestleMania had been lacking. * * *
|
| © 2005-2007 All content contained here Copyright 2006 by James Guttman *** World Wrestling Insanity and ClubWWI are not affiliated with any wrestling promotion. |