3/8 TNA IMPACT: Mallory's Ongoing Coverage of the Show
By Mallory Mahling
Welcome to WWI's real-time coverage of TNA IMPACT. You may need to hit "refresh" from time to time for the latest update. This week's show was taped February 26 at Universal Studios in Orlando, Florida. Mike Tenay and Don West welcomed viewers to the show. Kurt Angle and Samoa Joe were already in the ring. Angle warned Scott Steiner and Christian that at the PPV, he intended to be Samoa Joe's best friend. He wanted his opportunity to face Joe in the ring down the road for the championship. Out came the Christian Coalition. Isn't that name already taken? No matter, the "family" of Christian, Tomko and Steiner challenged Angle and Joe get a partner and meet them in the ring tonight. Angle said he would be happy to pick someone; in fact, he had someone "a little bit crazy" in mind. (1) A Six-Man Tag Match: Voodoo Kin Mafia (Kip & BG James) & Lance Hoyt vs. Serotonin (Frankie Kazarian, Matt Bentley & Johnny Devine). The Serotonin guys got new names tonight thanks to Raven--Kaz, Martyr & Havoc. Short, rather pointless match and Hoyt made the winning pin. Raven came out and caned his team. (Raven is way too freaky these days.) Jeremy Borash was backstage with the Christian Coalition. They were trying to figure out who Angle's crazy teammate would be. Christian guessed it would be Abyss and wanted to go reason with the monster. Steiner and Tomko refused to go with him, so Christian drafted Borash. (Commercial break) Mike Tenay was in the ring with So Cal Val and Leticia. He introduced Hector Guerrero who was going to be honored with the Hispanic Heritage Foundation Award. Hector greeted his Hispanic fans with in Spanish, then Tenay went to present him with his plaque. Abyss's music hit, and he got into the ring. So Cal Val handed Abyss the plaque to appease the monster, but he gave her a Black Hole Slam that looked absolutely devastating. (Commercial break) In Jim Cornette's office, everybody was yelling at each other. He called them the Island of Misfit Toys. Cornette granted several matches, including Chris Sabin (who was still doing his geriatric imitation) against "old timer" Jerry Lynn. Christy Hemme wanted to match, too. She had formed a team and wanted to take on VKM. (2) Another Six-Man Tag Match: Robert Roode (w/Miss Brooks), Eric Young and James Storm (w/Jacqueline Moore) vs. Sonjay Dutt, Petey Williams & Jay Lethal. Jay Lethal did his Macho Man impression . Everybody's a critic, including Robert Roode. Roode was even slapping around Young, his own team member. (He's really quite mean to Eric Young, life-time contract notwithstanding. Hope Roode realizes that one of these days the worm will turn.) Good back and forth action, but, of course, it dissolved into a catfight on the outside. That distracted the wrestlers in the ring and Storm pinned Dutt in the confusion. Christian and a reluctant Jeremy Borash finally tracked Abyss down (all the howling made it easy). "Joe and Angle are just like Sting," Christian told Abyss, which made him even angrier. Christian invited Abyss to join the "family." As a peace offering, he tossed Borash to the wolves...err...monster. Last week Johnny Rodz was mugged in his own wrestling school in Brooklyn. That was the last straw…Brother Devon and Brother Ray challenged LAX to a Ghetto Brawl at "Destination X." Also on the PPV will be: - Elevation X - Styles vs. Rhino. - Scott Steiner vs. Kurt Angle. - Samoa Joe vs. Christian Cage for the Championship. - Last Rites Match: Sting vs. Abyss. (3) A Third Six-Man Tag Match: Scott Steiner, Tomko, & Christian Cage vs. Kurt Angle, Samoa Joe & Rhino. They paired off with their respective enemies to get things started. Angle was a suplex machine. Rhino was ready to gore Tomko when AJ Styles ran out and interfered. The two started climbing the Elevation X structure. (Commercial break) During the break Styles and Rhino had done their balancing act on top of the Elevation X structure, then climbed down, where Rhino was getting the worst of it from Steiner. Everybody gave everybody else their finisher. As the last two standing, Angle put Steiner in an ankle lock. Abyss ran out and broke it up and the referee called for the bell and a DQ. Black Hole Slam..then the lights went out. When the lights came back on, Sting was in the ring. Abyss slowly turned around and . . . Tune in to the PPV Sunday to find out what happens next. ***************** For a complete listing of matches for the "Destination X" pay-per-view, visit www.TNAWrestling.com. It's going to be a festive occasion. They've even promised a black and blue carpet. (After all, everybody else does that tired old red carpet thing.)
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