While Jerry “The King” Lawler’s renewing his subscription to Barely Legal, I’ll be enjoying Total Nonstop Action (TNA) Destination X

Tonight’s lineup includes:

X Division Championship: Jerry Lynn vs. Chris Sabin (Championship)

Elevation X Match: Rhino vs. A.J. Styles

Ghetto Brawl: Team 3D vs. Latin American Exchange

Last Rites Match: Abyss vs. Sting

Scott Steiner vs. Kurt Angle

NWA World Heavyweight Championship: Samoa Joe vs. Christian Cage (Champion)

PRESHOW:

Robert Roode and Ms. Brooks have their employee “Primetime” Eric Young in the ring.  Roode tells Young he’s heard he isn’t happy that he’s now an employee of Robert Roode International.  The crowd goes from a  “shut the f**k up” chant to an “Eric, Eric” chant.  The fans don’t erupt into a “Robert” chant despite Roode’s request.  Roode mocks Young’s fans until Eric Young steps up and defends them.  Young tells Roode that one of his friends told him to leave Roode.  Roode tells him he can leave anytime but if he does, he’ll never wrestle again.  Roode then tells Young he has a message for Young’s friend then slaps “Primetime”.  Young goes to hit Roode until Roode threatens to fire him.  Young backs down and Roode orders him to get the car, leaving him with the words “It pays to be Roode”.

1.  GHETTO BRAWL:  LATIN AMERICAN EXCHANGE (Homicide & Hernandez w. Konnan) vs. TEAM 3D (Brother Ray & Brother Devon)

The LAX give the hairy eyeball to Hector Guerrero (the new member of TNA’s Spanish announce crew).  Announcers Mike Tenay & Don West take time to pay their respects to the late, great Ernie “The Cat” Ladd.  Anything goes in this non-title match up.  Brother Devon squares off against Homicide while Brother Ray chases Homicide into the crowd.  Tenay and West talk about how the LAX have held the NWA World Tag Team Championship for nearly five months, a title which has eluded Team 3D since their arrival in TNA. All four wrestlers are brawling outside the ring amongst the fans. Team 3D seem to be feeding off of the fans’ cheers, dishing out some serious punishment to the LAX.  As the action moves back towards the ring, the LAX use some weaponry in an attempt to gain control but Team 3D isn’t letting up.  Brother Ray grabs a trash can and drops it over Hernandez’ head then follows up with a superplex on Hernandez.  However he’s caught by surprise as Homicide flies off the top rope and lands a hurricarana on Ray. Whatsuppp on Homicide.  With the match looking good for them, Team 3D open up some beers before bringing a table into the ring.  Team 3D go to put Homicide through a table as members of the Latino Nation flood into the ring.  Team 3D’s mentor Johnny Rodz runs into the ring and cleans house, taking out the members of the LAX.  Homicide puts a stop to Rodz as the Latino Nation regroup.  The chaos continues as Devon’s “Brothers from Brooklyn” race to Team 3D’s rescue.  Doomsday Device on Homicide.  Brother Devon covers Homicide but Homicide manages to kick out.  Hernandez tries a Border Toss on Devon but Devon slips out and Team 3D land the 3D on Hernandez.  Referee Rudy Charles goes for the 3 count but he’s pulled out of the ring by former LAX member Machete.  As all hell breaks loose, Alex Shelly comes to ringside with the Shelly Cam and interferes on the LAX behalf.  Shelly lands a frog splash on Devon, putting him through the table.  Homicide covers Devon for the pin.

WINNER: LAX by pinfall.

INTERVIEW: Rhino talks about his Elevation X Match, saying that gravity leaves no room for error.

1. MIXED TAG BULLROPE MATCH: “Pride of Tennessee” Jackie Moore & “Tennessee Cowboy” James Storm vs. “Canadian Destroyer” Petey Williams & Gail Kim

Storm and Williams are tied together with a bull rope as are Kim & Jackie. Moore and Storm try a sneak attack but Williams and Kim quickly regroup, taking the action outside.  Gail Kim ties Moore to the ring post with the bull rope, laying into her trapped opponent with a flurry of knife edge chops.  Storm lands the “Eye of the Storm” on Williams but it’s not enough to get the three count. Storm then motions for the Canadian Destroyer (Williams’ finishing move) but Petey slips out.  Williams goes nuts, whipping Storm with the bull rope.  Outside the ring, Kim continues to punish Moore.  Williams puts the rope around Storm’s neck and lands a Russian Leg Sweep.  Williams pulls Storm towards him then uses the ropes to land a low blow.  Williams hits a DDT but it’s not enough for the pinfall.  By now, Gail Kim has brought Jackie Moore back into the ring and she’s still in control.    Both women charge each other, knocking themselves senseless.  Williams continues punishing Storm and goes for the Canadian Destroyer.  Unfortunately Jackie Moore has enough energy to land a low blow on Williams; stopping him.  Storm capitalizes and lands a Superkick on Williams, covering him for the pin.  Gail Kim goes to break up the pin but she’s too late.

WINNERS: Moore & Storm by pinfall.

INTERVIEW:  “Big Poppa Pump” is still upset that TNA signed Kurt Angle when they should have focused on re-signing him.  Christian Cage interrupts the interview and pleads with Steiner to help him in his match against Joe (Tomko is in Japan tonight). Cage tells Steiner they’re closer than brothers.  Steiner laughs at Cage and tells him he’s on his own.

2. CROSSFACE CHICKEN WING SUBMISSION MATCH: Austin Starr vs. Senshi

In case you haven’t figured it out, the way you win this match is to put your opponent in the Crossface Chicken wing (Mr. Backlund’s famous finishing move) and make them submit. Tenay and West talk about how Senshi and Bob Backlund have apparently become friends and they wonder if Backlund is training Senshi in the fine art of the Crossface Chicken wing.  Senshi starts off strong but Starr uses underhanded tactics to gain the upper hand.  Bob Backlund makes his way to ringside and this seems to fire Senshi up.  Senshi drills Starr in the head with a series of kicks.  Senshi then slaps the chicken wing on Starr but Starr quickly escapes.  Starr puts Senshi in the corner and staggers Senshi with a dropkick in the corner.  Starr cinches the chicken wing on Senshi but Senshi flips him over his shoulder.  Senshi goes for the Warrior’s Way but Starr pushes the referee into him, knocking Senshi off the ropes.  Suicide dive by Star onto Senshi and Senshi looks to be in serious trouble.   Starr lands a corkscrew splash on Senshi before setting him up for a brainbuster.  However Senshi counters and he puts Starr in the chicken wing.  Nice reversal by Starr though .  Open hand palm thrusts on Starr and Senshi dives into the corner only to see Starr move out of the way.  Senshi hits his shoulder on the ring post and Starr puts Senshi in the chicken wing.  Senshi gets a break thanks to getting his feet under the ropes.  Starr thinks he’s won the match and he turns his back on Senshi.  Not a wise move as Senshi rolls him up into a chicken wing.  With no place to go, Starr taps out.

WINNER:  Senshi by submission

After the match, an angry Austin Starr puts the chicken wing on Mr. Backlund until TNA referees break things up.

INTERVIEW:  Jeremy Borash is backstage with “The Phenomenal” AJ Styles. AJ Styles tells Rhino tonight’s match is a result of Rhino’s ego getting him out of his element.  Styles tells Rhino there’s only one way to go in this match:  DOWN

4. MYSTERY TAG MATCH

Christy Hemme has promised to introduce a mystery team tonight.  She gets into the ring to cut a promo but she’s interrupted by her team’s opponents:  THE VOODOO KIN MAFIA! Kyp James asks Hemme how the strip club thing’s been working out.  Kyp says Hemme has been relentless, comparing her to an annoying pimple on his ass.  Kyp talks down Hemme some more.  Hemme tells Kyp James she’s bored of him and that he disgusts her.  Hemme introduces her team  Antonio & Romeo “The Heartbreakers”.

VOODOO KIN MAFIA (Kyp James & B.G. James) vs. THE HEARTBREAKERS (Antonio & Romeo)

Even match up until Christy Hemme distracts Kyp James, allowing the Heartbreakers to gain the advantage.  Good match with the Heartbreakers showing the fans what made them such an exciting team in Ohio Valley Wrestling (OVW).  As the Heartbreakers and B.G. fight outside the ring, Kyp James confronts Christy Hemme.  Kyp reaches into his pants and pulls out his protective cup.  James shoves it into her face as she recoils in terror.  VKM associate Lance Hoyt shows up at ringside and carries Hemme away.  However the Heartbreakers have regrouped and they catch Kyp James with a double-team maneuver.  As Romeo distracts B.G., Antonio chokes out Kyp.  The Heartbreakers continue punishing Kyp until Kyp surprises Romeo and makes the tag to B.G. Antonio climbs the top rope to surprise B.G. but B.G. catches him and tosses him onto Romeo.  Pump handle slam by James and he makes the pinfall. 

WINNERS:  THE JAMES GANG by pinfall.

After the match, Lance Hoyt comes out to congratulate the VKM. Christy Hemme storms back into the ring with a riding crop but the Heartbreakers walk out on her.

BACKSTAGE:  Christian Cage finds Abyss sitting in a cage somewhere backstage.  He chats with Abyss and gives him an autographed picture of himself, trying to butter the big man up.  Cage reminds Abyss that he’s done something for him so Abyss should do something for the Instant Classic; reminding Abyss that he never revealed his secret. Abyss steps out of the cage and signals his friendship for Cage as Cage is pleasantly surprised by the gesture.

5.  2 OUT OF 3 FALLS MATCH (X DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP):  JERRY LYNN vs. CHRIS SABIN (Champion)

Lynn wastes no time in going after Sabin, dazzling him with some fast paced moves.  Lynn chases Sabin outside the ring but Sabin catches him on his way in, dropping the boots to Lynn’s head.  Lynn isn’t down for long and he launches his unstoppable offense on Sabin as the fans rally behind him.  Sabin can’t stop Lynn and he drops the first fall to Lynn after getting DDTed.

FIRST FALL:  Lynn pins Sabin

After taunting Sabin, Lynn continues the offense until Sabin catches him off the top rope.  Sabin goes to slow Lynn down with a face lock.  Lynn doesn’t stay down for long and he gets two near falls.  However Lynn seems to get a little overconfident and this allows Sabin to get Lynn down in the corner, using the ropes for leverage and stealing a pinfall.

SECOND FALL: Sabin pins Lynn

After the second fall, Sabin musters some offense but Lynn quickly regains his composure, taking the fight to Sabin.  Lynn lands a beautiful German Suplex on Sabin and turns it into a pinning situation but Sabin has enough energy to kick out.  Sabin then lands the Cradleshock on Lynn out of nowhere.  Sabin covers Lynn but Lynn kicks out.  Lynn then sets Sabin up for a move when a mystery man shows up at ringside wearing a Sting mask.  Distracted, Lynn falls prey to a second Cradleshock and he can’t kick out.

THIRD FALL:  Sabin pins Lynn to win the match

WINNER: Chris Sabin

After the match, the mystery man attacks Sabin and reveals himself as “Fallen Angel” Christopher Daniels.  After laying Sabin out, he turns to Jerry Lynn, flooring him as well.  Tenay and West wonder what has come over Christopher Daniels.

BACKSTAGE:  Jeremy Borash interviews TNA authority figure Jim Cornette.  Cornette praises TNA for its innovations but he’s interrupted by Christy Hemme.  Hemme tells Cornette she has some surprises up her sleeve.  Cornette tells her that if she’s not happy, he has a secretarial job open for her.

VIDEO:  Hype video for the “Elevation X” Match

6.  ELEVATION X MATCH:  “The Phenomenal” A.J. Styles vs. “The War Machine” Rhino

Tenay and West observe that Styles appears to be wearing some sort of special gloves no doubt to help him with his grip.  Rhino shoves the referee aside and tears into Styles.   Both competitors are fighting at ringside; apparently in no hurry to climb to the top of the Elevation X structure (can you blame them?).  After knocking Rhino down, Styles begins climbing to the top of the Elevation X structure.  As Styles walks the platform, Rhino looks up for a while before beginning the climb.  As Rhino scales the structure, the X seems to be rocking back and forth.  This thing looks like an accident waiting to happen. Rhino seems a bit squeamish about the height he’s at and Styles capitalizes by shaking the platform as best he can.  Rhino makes a gut check and he goes after Styles.  However Styles nearly knocks him over and Rhino struggles to hang onto the platform.  Dropkick on Rhino by Styles.  As Rhino hangs on for dear life, Styles tries to kick him off. Rhino fires off some right hands and he comes close to punching Styles off the X platform.  Styles is hanging on to the edge of the structure as Rhino slowly moves in towards him.  The crafty Styles slides underneath the structure, apparently trying to fool Rhino into thinking that he’s fallen off the X Platform.  The fans yell at Rhino, trying to warn him that Styles hasn’t fallen.  Rhino finally catches on and he reaches down underneath the X platform grabbing ahold of Styles.  Styles fights free, raking Rhino’s eyes and climbing back to the surface of the X platform.  Styles knocks Rhino to his feet as Rhino hangs onto the X platform.  Rhino fires off a series of rights as Styles counters with rights of his own.  Styles signals for the Styles Clash but Rhino flips him onto his back.  Jawbreaker on Rhino by Styles gives Styles time to break open a bag of powder.  Rhino blocks the powder attempt and Styles blinds himself.  As Styles tries to find his bearings, Rhino lands the Gore.  Styles falls off the platform but he catches onto the edge.  Rhino stands over Styles as A.J. holds onto the structure for dear life.  Rhino stomps on Styles hands and Styles falls to the ground.

WINNER:  Rhino wins by knocking Styles off of the Elevation X Platform.

Everything you’d expect from a scaffold style match:  BORING

VIDEO:  Hype video for Angle vs.  Steiner

Back in the ring, TNA medics put A.J. Styles on a backboard, taking care to immobilize Styles’ neck.  Tenay and West hype the hell out of Styles’ fall.

INTERVIEW:  Kurt Angle talks about how he’s going to prove why he’s the greatest wrestler in the world by beating Scott Steiner. 

7.  GRUDGE MATCH:  Scott Steiner (w. two hot pieces of ass) vs. Kurt Angle

Steiner uses his power to back Angle into the corner before making the clean break.  Steiner continues using his strength to dominate the match, knocking Angle down with a shoulder block.  Angle busts Steiner’s head open with a brutal head butt.  Angle knocks Steiner out of the ring then tries a baseball slide on Steiner.  Steiner dodges and knocks Angle down.  Steiner begins brawling at ringside, slamming Angle’s head into the ring steps.  Steiner throws Angle back into the ring and the two continue brawling.  Steiner continues uses his power advantage by putting Angle into a front face lock.  Angle escapes and lands a back suplex on Steiner, following up with a series of rights and forearm uppercuts.  Angle continues the assault, delivering three consecutive German Suplexes to “Big Poppa Pump”.  Steiner shows off his wrestling skills by delivering a sweet looking belly to belly suplex to Angle.  Olympic Slam on Steiner and a cover by Angle but Steiner kicks out.  A relentless Angle then puts Steiner into the Ankelock in the center of the ring but Steiner powers out, sending Angle into the corner.  Steiner goes to roll up Angle but Angle kicks out.  Steiner goes for a submission hold of his own, putting Angle in the Steiner Recliner.  However Steiner doesn’t have it locked in and Angle escapes relatively easy.  Angle charges in towards Steiner only to get back dropped over the top rope, sailing outside of the ring.  Steiner follows Angle outside the ring and throws him into the ring barrier.  Angle slowly makes his way back into the ring as the referee makes a count.  Steiner stuns Angle by landing the Olympic Slam on Angle.  Steiner reapplies the Steiner Recliner but Angle escapes again.  Another Olympic Slam on Steiner and Angle follows up with the Anklelock.  Steiner manages to make his way to the ropes but Angle pulls him back.  Steiner then escapes by kicking out of the Anklelock. When Steiner goes for a belly to belly suplex off the top rope, Angle counters with a Sunset Flip, pinning Steiner.

WINNER:  Kurt Angle by pinfall.

INTERVIEW:  Jeremy Borash interviews Samoa Joe about his upcoming NWA title match.  Joe talks about how he was denied an NWA World Championship Match for two years.  Now, he’s born again and ready to rain down vengeance and fury.  Joe cautions Abyss against interfering in the title match and says that tonight marks the beginning of the Samoa Joe NWA title reign.

VIDEO:  Hype video for the Sting/Abyss feud.

8.  LAST RITES MATCH:  Abyss vs. Sting

Mike Tenay points out that Abyss has been even more out of control ever since Sting put his manager James Mitchell out of commission.  Tenay reminds the fans that the way you win the match is by signaling for the casket to descend and to put your beaten down opponent into it where it will be raised to the top of the Impact Zone.  Abyss takes the fight to Sting, brawling with the Stinger outside the ring.  Sting recovers and lands a side slam on Abyss followed by a Stinger Splash.  When Sting charges in towards Abyss again, Abyss grabs a candelabra from the corner and blasts it over Sting’s head.  Blood gushes out of Sting’s head as Abyss signals for the casket to lower as the fans start a “FIRE RUSSO” chant.  Abyss puts Sting in the casket and then goes to close it but Sting fights his way out.  Sting is out of the casket/deathbed but he’s bleeding profusely.  As Sting tries to regain his senses, Abyss goes to ringside and brings a tombstone into the ring.  Sting’s recovered enough to knock Abyss down and put Abyss in the Scorpion Deathlock.  Abyss taps out but Sting can’t win the match that way.  Sting grabs a chair and blasts it over Abyss’ head.  Sting puts the weakened Abyss in the casket and goes to close the casket’s lid as blood drips down his face.  Abyss grabs Sting by the throat and frees himself from the casket.   Abyss choke slams Sting on top of the casket, bending the casket’s lid.  Abyss brings another tombstone into the ring.  Sting looks semi-conscious and he falls off of the casket as Abyss closes in for the kill.  Abyss puts Sting on the ropes looking to be going for a superplex.  Sting fires off some rights to Abyss and grabs candelabra, breaking it over Abyss’ head.  Abyss falls off and smashes through a tombstone. Sting follows up and puts Abyss into the casket, closing what’s left of the lid and winning the match.

WINNER: Sting by putting Abyss in the casket.

After the match, the casket is lifted to the top of the Impact Zone as Abyss lies inside it.   Good brawl.  Whoever was chanting “Boring” should be locked in the casket themself. 

VIDEO:  Hype video showing the events leading up to tonight’s NWA Championship Match.     

BACKSTAGE:  NWA Heavyweight Champion Christian Cage speaks with Jeremy Borash as Japanese wrestler the Great Muta(?) wanders in.  Cage attempts to recruit Muta to his side.

9.  NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH:  Samoa Joe vs. Christian Cage (champion)

”Joe’s Gonna Kill You”chants fill the Impact Zone as Tenay & West remind the fans that Christian Cage is on his own tonight against the challenger. Joe starts things off with a couple quick kicks to Christian.  Christian slips around Joe and puts a waistlock on but Joe quickly counters tossing Cage into the ropes and flooring him with a shoulder block.  A feisty crowd has dueling Joe/Christian chants going.  Joe peppers Cage in the corner with chops before Irish whipping him into another corner.  Joe lowers a powerful kneedrop on Cage and goes for the pin.  Cage kicks out but his punishment has just begun.  Series of kicks on Cage as the champion falls outside the ring.  Joe follows him out and throws him towards the ring post but Cage reverses things and Joe flies into the ring post.   Cage goes for a steel chair but the referee threatens to disqualify him.  Joe seizes the moment and he takes control; sending Christian into a wall.  Both men are fighting near the fans.  Joe throws Cage into a wall at ringside.  Referee Rudy Charles is giving both men a lot of leeway as they brawl outside the ring.  Joe is basically having his way with Cage at this point.  Joe makes his way back into the ring as the two men fight on the ring apron.  Christian Cage surprises Joe with a DDT out of nowhere followed by a shoulder block off the top rope.  Christian continues the punishment, getting a little too cocky by giving Samoa Joe the paintbrush treatment.   Things backfire as Joe catches Christian off the top rope and lands a big knee to Cage’s face.   Samoa Joe is back on the offensive and he catches Christian Cage off the ropes with a perfectly executed powerslam.  Christian tries for the Unprettier but Joe fights him off.  Joe then puts Christian in the STF, locking him in the center of the ring.  Somehow, Christian gets free but Joe switches things up and puts Cage in the Kokina Clutch.  The champion gamely makes his way to the ropes, getting the break.  Joe goes for another Kokina Clutch and Christian counters things, landing an Unprettier on Joe.  Christian follows up by climbing on Joe’s back and executing the sleeper but Joe breaks out by delivering a modified Samoan Drop.  Joe then knocks Cage out of the ring and follows up by diving through the ropes at him.  As the referee makes the count, members of the TNA locker room pour out, forcing Cage back into the ring.  Joe lands a powerslam on Cage as soon as he gets back into the ring.  Unfortunately referee Rudy Charles is busy making sure the other wrestlers go back to the dressing room and he’s out of position for the three count.  Joe goes back on the offensive but he bumps into the referee knocking Charles down.  Cage blasts Joe with a chair and goes for the cover but the referee is out cold.  Joe then lands a musclebuster and covers Christian but Cage kicks out of a slow three count.  Joe goes for the Kokina Clutch but Cage lands a low blow.  Cage climbs the top rope only to catch a kick in the head by Joe.  Joe goes for the Kokina Clutch but Christian flips Joe onto his shoulders and plants his legs on the rope for the leverage he needs to keep Joe down.

WINNER:  Christian Cage by pinfall.