Canadian Bulldog's Breaking News: Kevin Nash Paparazzi Angle Is All "A Big Joke"; Sources
By Canadian Bulldog
(Bulldog's Note: You may have noticed that I've been less active than normal on this site, as well as my "Complete and Utter Bulldog" audio show on Club WWI. There's a very good reason for that.
For weeks, I have been hard at work completing the next "True Wrestling Story". I have spent numerous hours researching, fact-checking and sleeping –- if I don't get my eight hours a night, I get grouchy –- to ensure that this will be the greatest TWS ever! EVER!!!
Without giving away too many details, just know that my next True Wrestling Story will be published right here, on this very site, on Tuesday, March 27th. Also, you should know that at least four people died during the editing process. I'm legally obligated to say that.
So whatcha gonna do, brother, when the greatest True Wrestling Story of all time runs wild on youuuuuuuuu?)
Above: Nash, normally somber and serious, actually thinks making of smaller wrestlers is funny.
By Canadian Bulldog, World Wrestling Insanity News
(Orlando, FL) – Don't applaud Kevin Nash too much for his attempt to build new stars in Total Nonstop Action wrestling's X Division; it turns out, he's playing us all for fools.
Ever since the former WWE and WCW World Champion returned to TNA last April, his role in the Paparazzi Productions stable has been a "big joke", according to our anonymous source, who sounds, looks and acts remarkably like commentator Don West.
"Nash thinks that a 6"10 aging legend is working with younger cruiserweight types is FUNNY?" said Don West (not his real name… er, possibly). "Thanks for treating our X Division like a joke, you bastard!"
Nash's detractors say that he could have used the opportunity to help TNA up-and-comers such as Alex Shelley, Chris Sabin, The Austin Starr and Bob Backlund when working on the Golden Globe-nominated "Paparazzi Championship Series" vignettes. Instead, he played the scenario for yuks, our source said.
Many times, Nash has been seen laughing following his matches against midgets or backstage sketches that involve "Macho Man" impersonations. Yet when actual comedy segments are shown, such as the current storyline between Eric Young and Ms. Brooks, Nash barely cracks a smile, our satin shirt-wearing source says.
"You would think that out of anyone, Kevin Freaking Nash could act like a professional and do what's right for the business," said our source. "You'd never catch ME making fun of the yokels I sell crap to on the Home Shopping Channel… uh, that part was 'off the record', okay?"
(Don't worry, Don; no one's reading this column anyways. Watch: ROH IS NOTHING BUT A BUNCH OF TEENAGERS FLIPPING AROUND IN HIGH SCHOOL GYMS, YOU STUPID MARKS! I WAS THE PERSON BEHIND 9/11! LEGALIZE POT! I AM A REPUBLICAN! CANADIAN BULLDOG'S REAL NAME IS… well, you get the idea.)
So… uh, yeah… Kevin Nash… the former nWo member was quoted in a recent ign.com interview as saying he was "having the time of his life" in TNA, which would seem to indicate that he's actually taking his role seriously.
But as a good borderline journalist, I contacted TNA President Dixie Carter to see if she would force Director of Authority James E. Cornette to investigate the situation.
"Uh, yeahhhh; I'll get right on that," Carter said in an interview with World Wrestling Insanity News. "Have you been talking to Don West, by any chance?"
Canadian Bulldog is a borderline journalist who writes weekly for World Wrestling Insanity and Online Onslaught and has published his own book of nutty e-mails to wrestlers. See his obscenely expensive Canadian BullBLOG for more details. He welcomes your comments at CanadianBulldog@worldwrestlinginsanity.com
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