(JG Note:  We're happy to welcome Saad Naseem as our new TNA Impact recapper.  Saad has been doing great work on the weekly Heat recaps and now he'll be offering his perspective on TNA. )

Hey guys! Welcome back to a brand new edition of the Heat Report! Heat Report? Wait. Today’s not Saturday. So what in the blue hell am I talking about? Well you caught me. There is no Heat Report today. Good. That means I shut the hell up and tell you why I’m really here. Well, it’s simple. I got orders from the top to take over for Mallory…permanently. Now I know that’s some pretty big shoes to fill, but I’ll try my best. Some of you already know me from doing the Heat Report but for the rest of you guys, the name’s Saad. Very nice to make your acquaintance and I genuinely hope you enjoy what I put up here every week. But enough about me. Let get down to business. Let’s get down to TNA! No not Test and Albert. And nooo not that TNA. I’m talkin’ about the AJ Stylin’, Angle starrin’ X Division flyin’ ,wheelin’ an’ dealin’ show on Spike TV. Hot off the heels of Destination X giving you your Thursday night wrestling satisfaction, it’s Total Nonstop Action!

Before Impact begins we are treated to one hell of a video package highlighting some of the great spots that took place at Destination X. Great job with the vid.

Cage in a Cage with 9 other guys…

Jim Cornette starts the show off tonight. As promised on TNAwrestling.com, Cornette was going to reveal the main event of Lockdown this week on Impact. Well what better way to tell us what that match it’ll be than to stand in the structure it will take place in. Corny is inside Six Sides of Steel. He reveals that on April 15^th at Lockdown we will see another edition of the 5 on 5 Lethal Lockdown match. The participants: Team Angle vs. Team Cage. He introduces both captains and they are told they have from now until the pay per view to pick their four partners. Christian starts whining but Jimbo blatantly tells him to shut up. The champ couldn't care less. He keeps yapping but the TNA theme song drowns him out.

After taking the fall off Elevation X AJ Styles is thankfully alive…and pissed. He blames the fans and of course Rhyno Rhino for his injuries. He’s got a brace on his neck and left ankle and he’s walking with a crutch. When he says "I can’t wrestle tonight," the crowd chants “Thank you, Rhino.” Ouch. He is so hurt that he can’t call up his wife to tell her. He can’t feed his kids. Styles demands Rhino to come out and call his wife to break the sad news to her. Rhino comes out and delivers a great comeback when Styles tells him to call his wife. "What makes you think I haven't already called her?" That’s fighting words on my block. Rhino gets in AJ’s face and wants to kick his ass bad but AJ begs off like a little sissy girl. End this Rhino please, I’ve had enough man. Crowd wants a Gore, Gore, Gore but the better of cooler heads prevail as Rhino says “It’s over.” Both men shake hands but sly Sty tries to hit Rhino with his crutch. Rhino catches the crutch in his hand but also catches a kick to his crotch. AJ starts beating on Rhino as we head to our first break.

Back from break and the War Machine has turned things around. He comes back by sending Styles face first into the cage…twice. That caused a chain reaction of interference. Christian Cage comes out and clocks Rhino with a crutch of his own. Then both AJ and Christian beat the crap out of Rhino with crutches until Samoa Joe and Kurt Angle race to the ring to help out the Rhinoceros. Styles jumps out the cage door faster than a jackrabbit on fire as Joe and Angle corner “The Instant Classic.” But he’s no dumbass so Champ Christian Cage climbs the cage and hits the bricks, escaping through the audience.

Yes sir. Alejandro Shelley tells us why he has aligned himself with LAX. You see he and LAX go way back to the days of the “Robadegas” (whatever that means). Konnan delivers a hell of a promo filled with some great metaphors. My personal favorite “We’re so sweet, we’ll give you diabetes.” I wonder how successful that would be as a pickup line?

Backstage with Borash again. He is with our X Division Champion who is busy kickin some ass on God of War II. Wanna know why? Cause he’s the God of Wrestling. I wonder what JBL has to say about that. Anyways, Backlund inserts himself in the interview to make things a bit weird. He used lots of big words too.

At this point, the Six Sides of Steel Cage has been dismantled.

Before the match begins, Kevin Nash and Sonjay Dutt come out to introduce Jay Lethal. As usual, Dutt doesn’t say anything and Kevin tells us that he produced a new song for Lethal. Well it certainly was new and was “Macho Man inspired.” Kinda sounded like the music that you come out to at your high school graduation. I think it's Pomp and Circumstance. Jay also has new black and white attire which looks pretty kewl. Lethal is actually quite happy with this new look as he is all smiles.

“Kaz” comes out alone (well with a Singapore cane) but no Goth Serotonin buddies. Lynn out next in his usual blue tights. Kaz starts the match with a quick schoolboy for a two. That one was close. Lethal and Lynn worked together for a few seconds but Lethal decked a running Jerry with a calf kick. Good stuff out of Kaz in this match as he even astounded Mike Tenay and Don West. One particular spot that was friggin amazing was when he had Lynn rolled up and Jay ran toward him only to get caught in a Northern Lights Suplex. He pins both men at the same time but they both kicked out. Later, Lynn is down and Jay hits Kaz with “The Lethal Combination” a truly amazing move that is hard to describe to get the win.

After the match, some cool lookin’ dude walks out. Dressed in black like some Prison inmate is Christopher Daniels! Damn does he look aw-friggin-some! He grew his bread and the man looks like one tough son of a bitch. He’s got a Sting-ish baseball bat in his hand and he lays out all three men with it. Then he hits the “Last Rites” on Lethal. Great heel turn by Daniels! I love it!

Borash is interviewing the champ. Along his side is the man who he reveals to be his 1^st partner for Lethal Lockdown. Who else but “The Phenomenonal One” AJ Styles. No surprise there right. Well these two have got some great chemistry. Styles said that Cage promised him a title shot as a favor for being his partner in Lethal Lockdown. Yea, look what happened to Tomko.

First we learn that next week Joe, Angle and Rhino will be in 6 man tag team action.

Konnan joins Tenay and West on commentary. He points out that LAX is on the cover of the new TNA DVD Best of the Tag Team Vol. 1 (available now) making them the best team around. Konnan is brilliant on commentating as he called Ray and Devon “Crispy Crème and Butter Bean.”

Shelley starts things off with Devon but tags in Hernandez. No intimidation shown by Devon as he hit a Thesz press and threw some right hands. Ray tagged in and telegraphsa move but Hernandez kicks him in the shoulder which is by the way heavily taped up. LAX went to work on the bulls eye that was Bubba’s left elbow as he screamed in pain. Homicide was hit with a sidewalk slam which bought time for Runt to make the tag. The fight spreads to the outside where Shelley hit Runt onto the ring apron as we head to break.

Back from break and we see some highlights of what happened during the break. Hernandez hit his crackerjack choke which sent Runt across the ring. Then Shelley hit a frog splash and Hernandez hits a huge splash off the top rope on the little Runt. That had to hurt but Devon broke up the pin. An LAX double team move backfired and Runt tagged out to Devon who cleared the ring of LAX members. All hell broke out once more and 3D hit Shelley with the Wassup. Machete has made his way to ringside and is arguing with Rodz on the outside. This distraction is enough for “Devon! Get the Tables.” Team 3D hit Alex Shelley with the 3D through the table but as Devon called for the referee to get in the ring, Hernandez slid in from behind and rolled up Devon for the pin.

After the match, Konnan said LAX had beaten 3D in every match. Their next target was the Team 3D legacy.

Back in some dark ass place. Kaz is tied up as Raven explains he doesn’t care about win-loss records. All he wants to do is inflict psychological damage to people. He tells Martyr (Matt Bentley) to hit Kaz in the back with the Singapore Cane but he refuses. Raven repeatedly slaps the crap out the poor kid but he never retaliates. So he turns to Havok (Johnny Devine) who also refuses. What’s he get for his denial? A Singapore cane right to the face!

Borash is back in the men’s room with our favorite TNAist Eric Young. Guess what he’s doing in the men’s room? Takin’ a piss? Washing his hands? No! He’s cleaning the toilet for Robert Roode. Damn man, what did that contract say? Roode comes in and I am expecting him to take a huge dump complete with long farts but he didn’t! (I thought Russo liked potty jokes?) All he says it that it’s gonna get a whole lot worst for Eric Young.

Our ol’ buddy Christian Cage is back in the Impact Zone for his 4^th appearance of the night. Why you ask? Cause he is the man! I love Christian nowadays. But really he wants us to know who else he managed to cage for the cage match come Lockdown. Care to guess? Well it’s Abyss! Let’s play word association. When I say Abyss, what’s the first word that comes to mind? Mask? James Mitchell? Kane? Dark Hole? No idiot - Sting! And that’s exactly who comes to the ring. Mr. Borden preaches to us once again that Abyss “is his own team.” The future is there for his taking and all that other crap. Cage and Sting go back and forth over what Abyss should do until Cornette comes out to set things straight. Jim Corny is back and he’s gonna lay down the law. Next week it’s gonna be AJ Styles & Christian Cage vs. Sting & Abyss. Mr. Impatient, Sting, says why wait a whole hour week, when I can kick their ass right now. He and Abyss charge toward the ring to get them some. After a few shots, Cage and Styles run away with their tails between their legs for the second time of the night.

Thanks for clicking the link and I hope you enjoyed it. If you have any suggestions, comments or criticisms then please do tell. My e-mail address is Naeem920@gmail.com or you can hit me up with a PM at the Insanity Message Boards. My username is Naeem920.