It’s funny.  I really should have written what you are reading right now this afternoon.  I had the time to do it.  I knew I wanted to write this, but for no reason other than laziness, I didn’t.  That’s why it’s so much harder to write this now.

You see, tonight, in the UK, is an event that happens every 2 years called “Comic Relief”.  I know you’ve had it before in the US, notably one for to raise money for the victims of Katrina.  And this is much the same.  It’s a telethon event hosted by our BBC to raise money urgently needed not only in the African continent, but also for projects and those who need help in the UK.  Indeed, 40% of the money raised helps those who need it here in Britain.  That’s why it’s harder to write this now than earlier, because I’ve already watch a large portion of the event, which started at 7pm in the UK, and it hit me harder than it usually does.  I admit, I cried at some of the stories of poverty.

As you may be aware, I affiliate with quite a few stand up comics these days as part of the “day job” as a technician, as well as doing a bit of writing here and there.  And comedy has always been something that I’ve held close to my heart throughout my life, which is why I have always had an affinity with this event.  I’ve usually taken part in, if not held, fundraisers when at School and University, and I’ve certainly given money outside of that on the night, be it straight up donation, or by buying merchandise such as the standard Red Nose or, in recent years, the special DVD’s that have been released in honour of the event.

I was fortunate enough, last time out, to find out a friend of mine was part of a crew that had gone out to Africa to film some of the work that the money raised the “Red Nose Day” before that had been working, and he had such mixed emotions when he returned because of the good work he had seen happening, but also the still desperate side to living in African slums.

I’m not asking you to donate money.  Even though I feel so strongly about it, I don’t think it would be right to do that.  However, it would mean a lot if you took a look at their website(s) to see what good work is going on and what needs to be done.

As it happens, with me doing bugger all else today, I decided to use my Internet-fame, such as it isn’t.  If you are a member of the forums, you will see that the posts I’ve made today have been in a red colour.  I thought that, since it would be so odd, not only to look at, but out of character, since Zah is the only persona to really make his posts look different, that I would, to determine the total I would donate this year, outside of the merchandise I’ve bought, I would see how many people wondered why I was posting in red, with me donating £10 for every ponderance to my sudden red-fetish, and as far as I can tell, I was asked 3 times, so I’ll be going online and donating £30, although at this rate, I’m pooped and will do it in the morning.

Anyway, here are the links:

REDNOSEDAY.COM – The Official Site

The MySpace page

And now, for a damn fine edition of Smackdown!  By the way the red below is just for poops and sniggers…

LAST WEEK ON SMACKDOWN:  Khali and Kane had a meeting of minds, The Obsenely expensive JeriTron was kidnapped, CM Punk got a taste of the true A-show and I was never so happy to see HHH in my life…

THIS WEEK…

Now, if Miz could just conduct all his interviews with the lights out...and the microphone off...

We're starting VERY cold this week, with No credits and no pyro.  Just Dave Batista’s music, as he heads to the ring in a DECENT suit for once!  And just to keep the pyro guy happy, Dave set his off.  And he was introduced by Mike Mizanin, as part of MizTV!  Just one question.  With 2 chairs in the ring, WHY IN THE HELL WAS MIZ SAT ON THE FRICKING MAT?!?!?!

Miz welcomed "Big Dave", and opened up his questioning with a quote from the latest issue of the WWE magazine, where Batista says he was unstoppable.  Miz thought that claim was a bit dodgy, saying if Taker wanted to, he could come out there and then and kick Batista's ass.  The light suddenly went out, and when they came back on?  Miz was pissing himself laughing, since he paid off someone to turn off the lights.  Big Dave saw the funny side of it, and hit Miz with his own punch line in a Batista Bomb.

Well, that was short, sharp and to the point.  Don't entirely know what that point was, but it was to it...

Matt Hardy def. Ken Kennedy in a "Now we just need Punk to beat Matt and the circle will be complete" match

Mr. Kennedy made his way out first, and got hold of his mic.  I wish that one week he would take the piss out of that tool on WSX...  As it was, this week's promo was interesting, because Ken called himself out for saying the same thing over and over again, although he naturally blamed the people rather than any lack of creativity, saying he was the future and his name was...well, you can take a guess...

Circling each other, a collar and elbow drove Kennedy into the corner, where he got the ropes for a break.  Another saw Hardy get an arm lock, which survived a roll-through escape attempt, but he was too near the ropes.  In the corner, Kennedy drove a knee into Hardy's gut, before they took turns at bouncing their heads into the turnbuckles.  Kennedy stopped himself after an Irish whip, but Hardy speared Kennedy through the ropes to the outside, hitting an ad break.

Back live, Kennedy was mid-suplex, getting a 2 count after the impact.  Kennedy put on a headlock, but the fans cheers helped him escape.  After countering a charge, hardy came off the top, and seemed to "tweak" his knee.  This was like poop for a fly for Kennedy, as he begun to hit offence targeting the injury.  He really went to town on it, not just hitting moves, but also using the edge of the ring and the ring post to his full advantage.  Hardy got placed in the Tree Of Woe, continuing to target the knee, before climbing up himself and hitting a back suplex for a 2 count.

Kennedy stuck on an Indian Deathlock, which Hardy tried to fight out of.  However, Kennedy had an answer every time Hardy tried to escape.  However, Kennedy made the mistake to get himself in a position to get some nice punches, which allowed Hardy to reverse the pressure.  Kennedy released but managed to get up top.  He missed the Kenton Bomb, however.  Hardy himself went to the second rope and hit what would be called the FameAsser for another 2.

Hardy hit the Side Effect (at the second attempt) for 2, but Kennedy took out the knee again, hitting a XXXXXXXXX for another 2.  Kennedy tried to set up for his finisher, but Hardy made a great counter into the Twist Of Fate for the three count!!!!

Thoughts - 8/10 - An AWESOME TV match, which told a really good story and had some really good work by both guys in it.  I really liked Kennedy's work on the knee.  And I liked the booking here, with Hardy winning.  It's set up so that no one person looks dominant.

I bet she suspected to be busier...

Kristal (in her only appearance of the night) asked Ken Kennedy how his loss affected his MITB chances.  He did it didn't affect them at all (which is true, to be honest), before he did the "Mr. Money In The Bank...  Bank!" line...

MVP def. El Grande Latte in a "There's a Kurt Angle joke in here somewhere..." match

Tony Chimel introduced this as a "Non-Title" match.  Why?  MVP would enlighten us.  He introduced his opponent as making a rare US appearance.  He was the Champion of Honduras...El Grande Latte!  However, it was quite clear that his belt must have gotten caught up in customs...

Suffice to say, MVP took it to the guy who took his name from a Starbucks menu.  He hit a couple of nice moves which I can't recall seeing him do before, including MVP's finisher, which was dubbed "The Playmaker" but was formerly known as "The Test Drive" and "The Play Of The Day".

Thoughts - 3.5/10 - MVP hit some nice new moves, cut a heat getting promo and had a cool little scuffle with Benoit.  Can't rate the match any higher, but this was perfectly formed.

MVP got on the mic and reiterated his desire for a shot at Benoit, mentioning that he could represent the US better than the "boring" Benoit, name-checking the likes of Flair, Harley Race and Dusty, although he, obviously claimed he was better than any of them, as the crowd gave him some decent heat.  He wondered if Benoit was a little yellow, and if he should change his nickname from "The Crippler" to "The Coward".

Teddy Long came out, and granted MVP the shot at Benoit, bringing Benoit out.  The US Champ made a bee-line for the ring, and they got into something of a brawl, but Benoit got MVP down on the mat, but Porter managed to wriggle out of the Crippler Coward Crossface attempt and head for the hills.

Does this mean HBK is doing Colour on Smackdown next week, or what?

Cole & JBL plugged next week's RAW, where the guy we just saw, Benoit, will be taking on John Cena, whereas JBL will be taking on Shawn Michaels.  JBL promised HBK he had a surprise for him.  Bait & Switch me thinks...

MNM & Melina def. Paul London, Brian Kendrick & Ashley in a "At this rate, they'll soon be the 3rd longest reigning champions..." match

And the action just kept coming, as the Tag Champions and Ashley came out, followed by the full trio of MNM (in their second match of the week) for a 6 person, as Shoelace noted they now had the 4th longest ever reign, now at 300 days.  Mercury & Spanky started this one off.  Since it's been a while since we saw them do it, the faces did their usual "axe handle off the top rope" tag stratagem.  Stereo dropkicks sent both M & N out, allowing the faces to tag in their Playboy pal.  However, Melina stalled and tagged in Mercury the first chance she could.  London & Kendrick battled their male counterparts, sending them to the outside again, where, this time, London & Kendrick took to diving over the top rope onto Johnny & Joey.

Melina managed to cheap shot Spanky, allowing her men to work him over, especially in the mid-section.  Nitro took it right down to the mat, with a couple of headlocks/bodyscissors.  However, Kendrick managed to roll away from Mercury and make the tag.  London came in hot, even hitting the Dropsault on both guys.  However, when Ashley came in, Mikey Henson dealt with her, allowing Melina to hit a low Blow and the guys to hit the Snapshot for the win.  The ladies engaged in a catfight, with their men having to tear them apart...

Thoughts - 7/10 - Well, it's severely tough for these 2 teams to deliver a poor match, isn't it.  The ladies were, rather interestingly, kept apart.  It would be nice if they could find the space for a tag title match on the card though...

I LOVE DOUBLE DOUBLE E!  Well, Kozlov ain't using this phrase anymore, so I may as well...

It was time for the UK's From The Vault bit and again, it was a doozy.  Undertaker vs. Randy Orton.  No.  Not 2004 Wrestlemania or feud after that, which would have been fine enough...  No.  May 2002!  Undisputed Champion, Undertaker, was giving a Title shot to a guy who had only been in the company for a couple of weeks.  Some kid named Randy Orton.  Taker came out first and cut a promo putting over Orton and Calgary (where they must have been that week).  Cole didn't entirely buy it as being genuine.  Well, Taker was supposed to be a heel at this point...

And man, does Orton look the same but very different, if you get what I mean.  I won't give Play by Play, but I will thank WWE for giving me another great treat.  I did write to WWE last week, like I said I would.  It was a damn fine match though.  And when was the last time you saw Orton take a dive over the top rope or hit a very cool roll up, using his legs?

After the match, Undertaker looked to cripple Orton, but HHH made the save, approximately 2 years before burying him himself.  After a brief brawl, HHH demanded a Title shot.  Without checking, I suspect he won it...

And the segment ended with Cole screaming "He (HHH) may have saved Orton's career...".  Oh, the unintentional dramatic irony...

This isn't just because it's St. Patrick's Day tomorrow, you know.  The Irish are just like this.

After the classy video on Ernie Ladd that aired on RAW and our weekly Maryse bit, we saw King Booker & THE NOSE~! when Finlay came in looking for Hornswaggle.  They said they hadn't, but Booker wanted to discuss something.  Last week, Finlay had a match with Undertaker, asking for pointers.  Finlay had one...RUN!  Finlay laughed as he walked off, taking Booker with him.  Sharmell sat down, and began hearing noises.  She opened a door to find Hornswaggle and a pitcher of Guinness.  He asked for a kiss, but didn't get one.  And the little guy can do a decent Irish accent.  He took a swig of the black stuff.

Kane & Daivari fought to a No Contest in a "Taking a page out of ECW's playbook..." match

Back from break (or at least it was for you Americans), Daivari was spouting something in Farsi, when Kane interrupted, as we found out that Kane vs. Khali was official, so this killing actually made sense.  And that's what it was.  A killing.  Poor Khosrow didn't stand a hope in hell.  Kane had Daivari primed for a chokeslam, but instead pushed Daivari out of the ring, deciding to chokeslam him on the steel steps instead.

Kane then pulled out his "See No Evil" hook out form under the ring, wrapped the chain around Daivari's neck and started dragging Daivari out, telling him that they were going to "have some fun".

Back from a break all around the world, Kane was still brutalising Daivari, telling him to send the message to Khali.

Undertaker def. King Booker by DQ in a "Another match for Undertaker?  He's keeping busy..." match

We recapped Mr. Fuji's Hall Of Fame induction video, before Batista made his way out for the Main Event.  He didn't decide to join in.  He was just doing a guest spot at the announce table.  However, I do hate it when either one or both announcers wonder why a guy comes out when a third chair is sitting beside them.  Back from break, Booker was climbing the step, but Undertaker didn't even let him finish that as his entrance started there and then.

Taker started this one all over, effectively punching Booker from the ring, before bouncing the royal head off of the steps.  Undertaker than started working over the arm, but Old School was scouted, and by Christ, Batista was even dull while saying little on colour.  Taker eventually managed to hit Old School before hitting a DDT for 2.  As they slugged it out, JBL effectively said that Batista was better than King Kong Bundy and Giant Gonzales.  Well, that isn't difficult.  Batista and Taker had a staredown, but Booker pushed Taker back off the apron onto the announce desk, as we took the final break.

Booker had Taker in the corner as we came back, before hitting a side slam.  Booker worked over Undertaker's back, as they cheered for Taker.  Meanwhile, Batista shrugged off the idea that the fans would be behind Undertaker on the night, saying it was about the competition.  Booker locked in a rest hold, which Taker punched his way out of, but was taken down again with a flying forearm.  Booker got in a mounting position and punched away, but he wasted time, allowing Taker to get back up for a slugfest.  Snake Eyes and a Big Boot saw a chokeslam signalled, but Booker countered with an attempted Scissor Kick.  The Deadman ducked that though, and hit a hard clothesline.

Taker got Booker up for a Tombstone, but Booker slipped out, hit a side kick and scored a 2 count.  However, Taker came off the ropes, looking for a Last Ride when Finlay ran in and clubbed Taker in the ribs for the DQ.  The heels worked over Undertaker as Batista sat there and did diddly squat.  However, Taker fought back, using the steps to his full advantage.  He took Finlay and shot him into Batista, which was quite cool.  With Booker prone in the ring, Taker gave him a chokeslam.  That was the cue for Undertaker's music as he walked up the aisle.  We saw a couple of replays before seeing an angry Batista in the ring, as Undertaker did his usual leaving pose as the show ended.

Thoughts - 7/10 - Decent enough action, with the tension between Undertaker and Batista finally becoming palpable, especially with their mid-match stare down and the end bit with the flying Irishman.

OVERALL - 8/10 (+ 1 on last week) - I thought that it was a really good show this week, with some really good action and some just as good build for Wrestlemania   As I said, I’m FINALLY feeling something in the Batista/Undertaker match, which at this point, I think was needed.

I also really liked the stuff with MVP.  While there was already an issue (with Benoit indivertibly costing MVP his Mania shot), MVP added more heat to it tonight with the “coward” stuff.  And then he also established a couple of new moves I hope are worked into the regular rotation.

And of course, we had that excellent opening match, so all in all, Smackdown is looking good for the big show.

That’s all I got for now, but if you have something to say about this week’s Smackdown, you can e-mail me at dedicated e-mail address, or come hunt me down on the WWI Forums!

OR, you can find me along with the rest of the dribbling masses on MY OWN MYSPACE PAGE!

Well, I’ll be back soon enough, but for now, I believe I’ve fulfilled my contractual obligations.  For reading this, And continuing to support World Wrestling Insanity, you’re cooler than the other side of the pillow…

I’m out.