Mallory Covers the WWE Easter Egg Hunt
By Mallory Mahling
When I got the opportunity to cover WWE's Annual Easter Egg Hunt for WWI, I jumped at the chance--hopped, actually--and packed my Easter bonnet and headed to Stamford, Connecticut.
The first clue that something was unusual about the event was its location. Easter egg hunts are usually held outdoors, but when my cab pulled up to the address I'd been given, I was shocked to see that it was a strip club. Silly me…I should have realized that anything bunny-related around WWE would involve bunnies of the "Playboy" variety.
Ashley, Candice Michelle and Torrie, WWE's very own "Playboy" cover girls, were in charge of welcoming the guests. They were wearing "Playboy's" version of an Easter rabbit costume--bunny ears and cottontails. And little else. It was apparent that this was to be an adult-oriented Easter egg hunt. Fortunately, the treats were the traditional kind--jelly beans, chocolate bunnies, and Peeps (no, not Christian's fans). It was actually quite festive until some unwanted guests arrived.
Melina and Johnny Nitro arrived with their ever-present paparazzi and a basketful of Easter "treats" of their own--stinky rotten eggs to throw at the centerfold Divas.
As usual, Melina was green with envy at the attention that was being paid to these questionably talented Divas. To listen to Melina tell it, this whole event was nothing more than an opportunity to glorify the "Playboy" covergirls, not fine technical wrestlers such as herself. As the Women's Champion, Melina felt she should be the star of this and all events that
Just then Candice Michelle walked by. Melina was sure she heard a snide remark coming out of that hussy's mouth and chased after her. Melina yanked on the poofy cotton tail, and Candice spun around just in time to see her bunny tail in one of Melina's hands, and a rotten egg in the other. Before Melina could hurl the rotten egg, Candice beaned her with…well…the bag of brightly colored jelly beans she had in her hand. While one or two jelly beans don't weigh much, the whole bag did, and it caught Melina off guard. She reeled backwards, landing gracelessly on her own cotton tail.
By now, the other guests had noticed what was going on and were trying to figure out why the two Divas had thrown down in the middle of a perfectly good party. The guests were taking sides and the paparazzi was capturing it all on film. "Stop it," Melina screeched at the photographers, not wanting to see herself splashed all over the tabloid media looking less than perfect. Besides, what would her good friend K-Fed think?
Melina struggled to her feet just as Ashley and Torrie joined the tussle. Where was Nitro when she really needed him? wondered Melina. Probably in the men's room fixing his hair. Before long, the incident had turned into a full-fledged cat fight--or bunny fight, if you will.
The fact that there was little support for the party crasher and lots of cheers for those no-talent cover girls rankled Melina beyond words. Since words had escaped her, she settled for her trademark scream, which got her more heat from the crowd.
With the odds against her, Melina just wanted to get out of Dodge and finish this fight another day. A day when she had the upper hand.
She spotted Nitro coming out of the restroom. He approached the scene with a look of amusement on his face. Melina grabbed his arm and pulled him toward the door, but he hesitated a bit too long. Unfortunately, he'd stopped near the dessert table and Melina took the opportunity to express her displeasure by picking up a coconut cream pie and smacking him in the face with it.
It doesn't take much to get a food fight started around this bunch, and the pies and the cakes started flying. Melina and Nitro tried their best to get across the room and out the door, but Melina slipped in a puddle of chocolate syrup and fell again.
"I don't have room in my schedule for this--I've got more important things to do," sputtered Melina, trying to save face.
"Sure you have room. There's always room for Jell-o," the Divas sang out before launching a bowl of the slimy dessert at Melina and dissolving into fits of laughter at their clever use of Jell-o's famous tag line.
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Thanks for reading and see ya next week.
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