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It’s that time, right about that time. Thursday night on worldwrestlinginsanity.com can only mean one thing. It’s time for TNA Impact baby! Yup the Total Non-Stop Action filled hour is back on Spike TV and God only know what’s in store for us tonight. Will Team 3D accept Konnan’s shocking proposal for an electrified cage match at Lockdown? Will Kurt find the right angles to beat Christian’s coalition? Will Jay Lethal do another impersonation of “Macho Man” Randy Savage? Find out all this and more TO-night on IMPACT!

Video package recapping last week’s events and developments.

Courtesy of Paparazzi Productions, we are shown a meeting between Sting and James Mitchell. They are dining in an empty restaurant. Mitchell finally spills the beans about Abyss’ “big secret.” Apparently it was not Chris Parks (aka Abyss) that shot his father. It was his mother. You see, papa Abyss was a domestic abuser. He beat his wife and his son but one day Mama Abyss had enough. She shot her husband three times in the back and ended her misery once and for all. But being the good son that Chris Parks is, he took the smoking gun from his mother, wiped her fingerprints off it and put his own on. For that he served 6 years in jail. That is the key to Mitchell’s control over the monster. If he reveals to the authorities that Mama Abyss is the murderer, then she’ll rot in jail for 5-10 years. Abyss doesn’t want that does he? Mitchell gets up from the table telling Sting to shove his self-righteousness up his ass ending the segment.

Wow. So much high-flying action that I don’t know where to begin. Man the X-Division was on their game tonight. All the men were in the ring and the match started off quick. The rules were you get eliminated by pinfall or submission and the last two fight it out until one makes it over the cage. Alex Shelley was sporting a new haircut and Sonjay Dutt had new tights. A cool spot took place when Jerry Lynn hiptosses every single man in the match consecutively.

The eliminations were as follows:

-Alex Shelley was eliminated by Shark Boy when he hit the Death Sea Drop.

-Sonjay Dutt was eliminated by Jerry Lynn when he hit the Cradle Piledriver.

-Shark Boy was eliminated by The Austin Starr when he hit the Brainbuster.

The Austin Starr was eliminated by Petey Williams when he hit the Canadian Destroyer.

That left Petey Williams and Jerry Lynn as the final two. They battled it out and both made it over the top of the cage. But Lynn won when he jumped off and hit the floor first.

But for a second week in a row, Uncle Jerry was attacked by the “Fallen Angel” Christopher Daniels after the match. Daniels grounded and pounded Lynn with a Sting like baseball bat.

Hey look who it is! Tomko is back from Japan. Leticia is on the scene to get the first words out of the man. But before he could speak, Christian Cage comes up and totally steals the spotlight. Tomko is ticked off and walks away and Cage doesn’t even realize it.

Christian Cage and posse AJ Styles and Scott Steiner made their way to the ring. Cage takes this time to officially announce Scott Steiner as the third man of his Lethal Lockdown team. But Steiner reminds the NWA world’s champ about the title shot he was promised for joining up with Cage in a Cage. Captain Charisma is offended. Does Steiner really think that Cage isn’t a man of his word? Wassup with that man. You’llyou’re your title shot. But after Lockdown. Cage is in a giving mood tonight so you know what why not reveal all the members of Team Christian right here right now? So ladies and gentlemen, the fourth guy that’s gonna turn Kurt Angle into triangles come Lockdown is the Monster Abyss. Aby comes out with James Mitchell but that “mystery lady” from last week is no where to be found. Four down one to go! Who’s Lucky Number 5? Who is it Christian? Who is it! Cage said it was going to be a surprise for later but then goes on to introduce Tomko as the final member of the team. Tyson’s music played but no baldie in sight. Finally he shows his goat beard and Cage goes over to hug Tomko. But Tomko ain’t here for hugs, he’s here for his title shot, and he wants it TONIGHT. Before the champ could answer out come the Lethal Lockdown opposition, Kurt Angle, Rhino and Samoa Joe. Angle calls Cage a lying a-hole. He won’t give any title shots to Tomko. And don’t think Styles or Steiner are getting one either. But if Tomko joins up with Team Angle then Angle promises to get him a shot against Cage. Tomko doesn’t know who to trust and that brings out Jim Cornette to the Impact Zone. Corny said there would be match tonight to determine what team Tomko would be part of at Lockdown. Who ever wins, Tomko has to sign a contract to be on their team. Cage tried to talk his way out of it but Tomko said Cornette had a deal.

Video Package showing the events surrounding the electrified Steel Cage match. Team 3D haven’t officially accepted the challenge yet. Are the scared?

Our beloved Jeremy Borash makes his first appearance of the night. With him is Team Angle. Who is Kurt gonna choose to be in the match for Tomko’s services? Well JB who betta than the man in charge. Kurt immediately volunteers himself cause he doesn’t to let his team down.

Match 2: James Storm w/Jacqueline Moore vs. Eric Young.

Eric Young comes out with no Robert Roode or Ms. Brooks in sight. He starts the match off pretty strong with some well placed dropkicks. But the tide turned when Jacqueline Moore gets involved. She grabs Young’s leg and Storm backs Eric into the corner. He lays in some punches and hit a fabulous kick to the face on Young. Eric was in ropes and Storm was outside. But Eric recovered and hit a spinning clothesline and a belly to belly suplex for the two count. He blocks Storm’s superkick and hit a back suplex to get the momentum back on his side. But Jacqueline pushed Eric off the top rope and sent him right into Storm’s superkick. He gets the cover and the win.

After the match “Wildcat” Chris Harris and Gail Kim hit the ring but security immediately stops a confrontation. But the camel’s back is broken when James Storm spits some beer on Harris and Gail. Security can’t hold Chris Harris and Gail Kim and they proceed to beat the opposition through the crowd and into the back. Meanwhile, Roode and Ms. Brooks came out to the ring and yelled at Eric for losing. Roode slaps Eric and Eric tried to retaliate but he can’t break that contract. When Roode said Young doesn’t have any real friends, Petey Williams comes out and lays a whipping on Roode.

On the other side of the spectrum, Leticia is with Team Cage. Who will face Angle tonight? No one volunteers so James Mitchell volunteers his Monster Abyss. Abyss is mad but Mitchell shuts him up by threating to tell the authorities about his mom.

VKM and Lance Hoyt are split screen with Christy Hemme. Christy hasn’t given up in her quest to beat VKM cause she just found another tag team. Kip reminds her that if she wants to be a professional wrestler then she’s gonna get hurt like one sooner than later.


Kurt Angle vs. Abyss for Tomko’s services at Lockdown

Tomko was ringside for this match. Angle grounded Abyss with a single leg takedown to begin the match. He immediately goes after the Monster’s left knee. Abyss tries to get away from the attack on the knee but it’s difficult. Abyss does gain the upper hand for a while but Angle comes back with the Ankle Lock. Abyss gets to the ropes as Christian Cage makes his way to the Impact Zone. Kurt chases Cage around the ring but the only thing he catches is a big boot to the face from Abyss. Abyss then slams Angle’s face into both ringsteps and the action returns to the ring. Angle escaped a neck vice and then hit Abyss with a German suplex. Tries for the Angle Slam but Abyss counters with an attempted Shock Treatment. Angle beautifully countered that into an Ankle Lock but Abyss refused to submit. Ref bumps takes place as Angle gets shoved into Earl Hebner. Abyss hits the Black Hole Slam and referee Rudy Charles runs in and counts the pin. Kurt kicks out at two. Abyss wastes some time and then goes for a chokeslam. But Angle reversed into a rolling pin and got the win and locked Tomko as Team Member #4 for Lockdown.

After the match, Tomko comes in the ring and raises Angle’s hand in victory. But then he clocks the Olympic Gold Metalist with the contract that he was supposed to sign. He then proceeds to sign Cage’s contract and aligns himself with Team Cage. Then all hell broke loose. Team Cage is beating up Kurt. That causes Rhino to come out which causes AJ Styles to come out. They brawl and that brings out “The Samoan Submission Machine” Samoa Joe which in turn causes Scott Steiner to show up. Everyone beat each other up but in the end Team Cage was the one standing tall.

Adrenaline Rush vid recapping tonight’s events play and that means TNA is TN-over.

I’m loving the Team Cage vs. Team Angle angle. However, the choice to fight over Tomko’s position at Lockdown was not the best. He has no abstract reason for wanting to fight Cage so why would he? Plus it’s not like he’s some great catch that would greatly benefit either team at Lockdown, so why would Angle even want him? If they wanted to fight over someone it should have been Abyss. He’s kind of a tweener right now so a match would be best to decide where he stands at Lockdown.

X-Division, oh my, oh my. What a match to start the night. But the highlight in my mind is the aftermath. Christopher Daniels has a great thing going and I hope the new found look doesn’t run out of flavor before TNA can capitalize on it.

Sting and James Mitchell was beautifully executed. So much was revealed so “politely.” Sitting in an empty restaurant talking about murder and ending the conversation with “stick it up your ass.” Very simple and strong.

LAX and Team 3D have had one hell of a rivalry so far and you can only expect great things out of the Electrified Cage Match come Lockdown.

I guess that about does it for me. If you have any suggestions, comments or criticisms then please do tell. My e-mail address is Naeem920@gmail.com or you can hit me up with a PM at the Insanity Message Boards. The username is Naeem920.

See you back here in a day or two with The Heat Report.

Until then I'm Saad Naeem and that was TNA Impact.