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Shakin' My Head: WrestleMania stuff, Jay "Black Machismo" Lethal, Loser of the Week, plus much more!!
By ZAH
 ...
03-30-07
“Jump back! What's that sound?”
Boo-yah, here we go!!
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Item #1 – Wait a second...there’s a PPV this weekend? I know...it’s kinda hard to ignore the fact that WrestleMania 23 is taking place this weekend. If nothing else, it’s near impossible to take away any credit from WWE for their promotional juggernaught. Once it’s in full gear, there’s no turning back and there’s no surrender.
Interest in this WrestleMania is at a point it hasn’t been at in years. Is it the card? I dunno...Batista vs. Undertaker doesn’t really rattle my chains. Is it because of Trump? Well, there’s a LOT of buys coming in this year simply because of the whole “hair vs. hair” stipulation. Is it because of MVP’s “BALLIN’ ELBOW”???
No...I think the interest in Mania is peaking primarily because of the promotional monster that WWE is fully capable of. You gotta give the devil its due. It’s actually frustrating because you know FULL WELL that WWE can make anybody a star at any time using its promotional abilities. The fact that they refuse to do that the rest of the year in the same way is teeth-grittingly upsetting to me. I know what they’re capable of as a company and how all of their efforts (both promotional-wise and booking-wise) only get used to their utmost potential at this time of the year.
Still...at least they’re not TNA.
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Item #2 – WrestleMania 23 predictions World Heavyweight Champion Batista vs. the Undertaker Ø Out of all of the match-ups on the card, this one underwhelms me the most. Batista is totally an underachiever when it comes to being World champion and the Undertaker is totally too old to be a credible champion. I can’t deny how much of a draw Batista is as champ, though. SmackDown ratings are higher when he’s on the program. I also cannot deny how ‘over’ the Undertaker is as an attraction. Of course, appearing occasionally certainly helps him have the “Andre the Giant” appeal with the general public. With Taker, it’s all downhill after the entrance. Now having said all that, this match will probably suck. Of course, lowered expectations can sometimes bring surprised outcomes. Ø WINNER: This one is extremely difficult to predict. At the beginning, it was widely reported that Batista was being touted as the one to finally end Taker’s WrestleMania winning streak. After a month or two, Taker’s momentum had then made him WWE Management’s pick to win the match and become the new champ. Now? Jeez...I really don’t know. I really think Taker will win and reign supreme over SmackDown through the summer. However, what I’d really like to see would be for Batista to turn heel and, with some help, beat down Taker and win via count-out or DQ...hence allowing for the Undertaker’s “never pinned @ Mania” streak to continue. It would also provide a killer feud for SmackDown that could last the summer and culminate in a Taker title win at SummerSlam.
WWE Champion John Cena vs. “The Heartbreak Kid” Shawn Michaels Ø Much like the Batista/Undertaker match-up, I’m finding this one really hard to predict. Why? Well...as much as Cena’s been put over everybody over the past year like he was Superman, HBK is on such a roll right now that he may be given one last title run as a gift for being ‘over’ with the fans. Ø WINNER: WWE has never backed down from a challenge, and much like the current predicament with Bobby Lashley, Vince and Co. are determined to show the fans what they’re missing by not cheering for Super Cena. For that reason and that reason only (okay...and also because I hate Michaels and would really love to give him a swift kick to the balls), I’ll go with Cena clean using the **sigh** STFU.
“Battle of the Billionaires”: Intercontinental champion Umaga~! vs. ECW Champion Bobby Lashley Ø Don’t kid yourself. This match is the primary draw for this PPV. WWE hit a grand slam when Trump agreed to participate in this match-up. The promotional hype machine has been at top speed and the mainstream media reaction has been a lot better than I would have expected going into this originally. The match-up itself shouldn’t be too bad. Umaga~! will most definitely carry Lashley to a passable match, and Steve Austin should definitely bring about some much needed comedy relief. Ø WINNER: There is no way on God’s green earth that Donald Trump is shaving his head. If Lashley loses this match, I’ll shave my own head.
“Money in the Bank” ladder match: CM Punk vs. Randy Orton vs. Finlay vs. Matt Hardy vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. Edge vs. King Booker vs. Jeff Hardy Ø After the tag-team clusterf*ck that was made up of eight men a few months ago, I really question this decision. I’ve gone into it before, but six men would be a much better number for a ladder match of this magnitude than eight. There are just too many if’s with eight guys all trying to get in their spots at just the right time at just the right spot. I worry for all the guys in this match to come out healthy. Well...all except for Jeff Hardy. I couldn’t give two flying f*cks what happens to him. Ø WINNER: I really think that the ending will have both Edge and Randy Orton end on the mat with their hands on the briefcase at the same time. Orton will win the MITB title match at a later time and end up being the first one to not win a title when he invokes his clause for a match. This way Orton still gets his push and Edge still maintains his WrestleMania winning streak.
“ECW Originals” Rob Van Dam, Sandman, Tommy Dreamer, & Sabu vs. “The New Breed” Elijah Burke, Matt Striker, Marcus Cor Von, & Kevin Thorn Ø Meh...this match shouldn’t completely suck. If anything, the lack of crowd heat may kill this thing before it gets a chance to get started. Still...I expect that the younguns will do their best to prove that they belong on the biggest show of the year. This match may surprise a lot of people. Ø WINNER: I full believe the “New Breed” will win and that both Sandman and Sabu will be released within a month following Mania...with Tommy Dreamer going to work back in the office and RVD letting his contract expire...hence leaving ECW to be fully and completely a breeding ground for RAW rejects and underachievers.
WWE Women’s Champion Melina vs. Ashley Ø This will be brutal. “Lumberjills” or not...unless Ashley’s breasts pop out of her outfit, this will be the worst thing on the card. Of course, anything that even remotely involves both Maria and Michelle McCool can't be that bad...can it? Ø WINNER: I don’t care. Let’s say Melina retains.
Kane vs. the Great Khali Ø Forgive me....this will be the worst thing on the card. By far. Ø WINNER: I really don’t care. I smell a double DQ.
United States Champion Chris Benoit vs. MVP. Ø Benoit will carry MVP to a very good match that should probably kick things off in style. MVP is a definite future star and this match should go a long way in ‘making’ him. Benoit knows his role in the company and is probably quite comfortable in the position he's in. He'll work his ass off to ensure that MVP looks golden and there should be plenty of heat from the capacity crowd so there shouldn't be too many slow spots. Ø WINNER: I smell a brand new U.S. champion.
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Item #3 – Bye bye Joey. Not much to say here. Joey Mercury got released without much fanfare or even a "all the best in future endeavors" line. While rumors abound as to the reasons, they more than likely had something to do with “personal demons”. I'm not saying I know for sure...but I know. The guy was lucky enough to get the push that he did.
The sad part of all this? He pretty much sacrificed his face for WWE. The not-so-sad part of all this? Nobody will give a rat’s ass that he’s gone.
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Item #4 – Dear f*cking God... It’s been quite awhile since I’ve received as much response as I did to my take on Jay Lethal last week. I went on a rant, I went on a tear, I simply went off. Well, now I’ve seen the end of a promising TNA career.
Ladies and gents, TNA is so off-base on this storyline and character that it really should go without saying. The fact that this guy is so absolutely putrid when he interviews as himself yet can “come alive” when he’s imitating somebody else only proves to me that he’s got it in him. Somewhere deep down inside, Jay Lethal has the ability to deliver a good promo when he’s not imitating “Macho Man” Randy Savage.
However, all hope for Lethal was shot once he appeared at the latest Impact tapings. If any gimmick has EVER made me shake my head more...I just can’t remember it.
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Item #5 – Many thanks. To everybody who e-mailed, PM’d, posted on the message board, and messaged me at my MySpace site...I just want to thank you. I’ve been going through a tough time and I received more correspondence over the past week than I have in months and 99% of it was very encouraging. I ain’t lyin’ when I say that it really meant a lot to me and I want to thank all of you very much. I’ll do my best to not let you down.
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Item #6 – World Wrestling Insanity Fantasy BASEBALL!!! Good lord people...the live online draft is THIS WEEKEND!!
Simply go here and click on the "Sign Up" button to create a team. After completing registration, or if you already have a team, click the "Create or Join Group" button and follow the path to join an existing private group. Then, when prompted, enter the following information...
*** Item # 7 – LOSER OF THE WEEK. Each and every week, I pick somebody (not necessarily always from wrestling) who has either acted in a dumb way, said something stupid, or generally was an idiot in some way, shape, or form. This week was a couple of weeks delayed. I mean, this guy wore out his welcome a LONG time ago and I’m so happy he’s finally out of the public eye. Ladies and gents, ZAH’s Loser of the Week simply has to be...
Sanjaya!!! ...what, he didn’t get voted out??
Ummm...Johnny Nitro?
Yeah...let’s go with that. Christ...I can’t believe Sanjaya’s still on American Idol. Oh well. Anyway, let’s talk about Nitro for a second.
It’s a crying shame that Nitro isn’t scheduled to appear at WrestleMania 23. I’ve been saying it for months, this guy has got all the potential in the world and as of right now the only problem he has backstage is that he’s the boyfriend of “heat magnet” Melina. Of course, Melina’s the f*ckin’ WWE Women’s champ so who knows just how true those rumors of “heat” actually are.
And Nitro’s not alone. Extremely talented individuals like Ric Flair, Shelton Benjamin, and Carlito are also not scheduled to wrestle and that’s a goddamn shame. Yes, the WrestleMania line-up is pretty stacked and looks great on paper...but it could be just that much better. Oh well.
Since Sanjaya is still breakin’ hearts and shattering eardrums, I guess congrats are in order as Johnny Nitro is my Loser of the Week!
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Pillar to Post
Each and every week I’ll take three statements that you, the WorldWrestlingInsanity.com readers, have submitted on the hot topics du jour and then get two or three volunteers to give their thoughts and insight. Ladies and gentlemen, this week (and I encourage every reader to throw me an e-mail and volunteer), I was able to find three great World Wrestling Insanity readers in WWI columnist bmartin121490, HeartBreakChef,& the_nWo!
1. Agree or Disagree
bmartin121490: I am not really sure.
HeartBreakChef: Agree.
Hey its WM. In fact I will be attending live this year: riding the WM express all the way to Detroit. As I write this there are only eight matches on the card with three major storylines and the strong 4th is the MITB. Now, knowing that WM is a 4 hour affair I think it safe to say that
the_nWo: Agree.
2. Agree or Disagree
bmartin121490: Disagree.
HeartBreakChef: Disagree.
Edge is a MONEY HEEL. MONEY. They need to keep him just that. With Orton finally settling into a Great heel himself, now is an exciting time for RAW fans. Once WM is over they have two solid heels that can work separately to help further along any rivalries they have planned. And with the absence of HHH as a heel, this is no time to be shuffling characters around. They need to maximize their PPV buys and having two good stories involving two top heels is good way to do that. Keep Edge MONEY!
the_nWo: Disagree.
3. Agree or Disagree
bmartin121490: DISAGREE.
HeartBreakChef: Disagree in two parts:
1. As a fan of wrestling there is no way the streak should come to an end. The UT's streak at WM is as much a tradition, now, as WM itself. They have finally put a little bit of doubt into whether or not the dead man can pull it off, as opposed to his more recent matches in WM history. That is all they needed to do. Its compelling writing and worth buying just to see that. It reminds me of WM 17 when UT took on HHH. It was a crap shoot, cause back then; his streak was not as prominently featured as it is today. They have achieved it again, but there is no need to have him lose.
2. Understanding the logic of the WWE I can see them trying to force Batista down our throats like they did with CENA, and they might want to do it to prove that they are not influenced by anything outside of there own world. Just with Batista’s recent performance, I feel they will not go down this road. UT has put his shoulders on the mat, to get new talent over countless times. A few years back he was always getting screwed or being used to up buys on a PPV. It helped get over guys like Lesnar and so on, but the one glaring difference here is Batista is Over with the fans, and we do not need to be reminded of that by having him win this one. He can handle the loss and the UT's streak can stay in tact, then they continue a rivalry.
the_nWo: Disagree.
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Wow...great job gang!! I’m looking forward to seeing who gets to join me as a guest columnist next week.
No problem. Seriously...it’s not a problem at all. Really...let me know RIGHT NOW!! You can let me know either by e-mailing me at Zah@worldwrestlinginsanity.com or hitting me up at ZAH Nation, found in the Insanity Message Board and letting me know that you’d like to participate. Also, don’t forget to stop by my MySpace page and add me.
So until next week…
L8R
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| © 2005-2007 All content contained here Copyright 2006 by James Guttman *** World Wrestling Insanity and ClubWWI are not affiliated with any wrestling promotion. |
