LAST WEEK ON ECW:  Snitsky tired to rearrange Balls’s teeth (well, anything must help…), they couldn’t bring themselves to have Lashley in a “debate” and Money In The Bank invaded

THIS WEEK…

We must have a lot to cram in this week, as they barely get 2 notes of the old ECW Theme out when Bobby Lashley's music kicks in.  And he isn't here to fight...  Funny little thing (Well, I found it funny), as while Lashley was doing his thing, "Joey called Vince's haircut "The shaving heard around the world".  ECW has a penchant for things being "heard around the world", don't they, with "The chairshot heard around the world", and...well, that's about it really.  Sorry for wasting your time with that thought...

And they seem to like him.  They certainly aren't having to pump sound in.  They even manage to get a "Bobby" chant going...  Anyway, Lashley got a mic.  He talked about Wrestlemania being the biggest moment of his life.  And what was this?  Some personality in his voice?  Some cadence?  A, until this point, rare treat indeed.  He said he wasn't going to talk about the hair match, but he was going to show us.  How?  By sending it to a picture of the shaving on the night.  Lashley then sent it to a video of the AWESOME bit from RAW, with Vince in the ring, where he ended up trying to take refuge under Lillian's skirt, lest he showed off his newly bald bonce.

Another "Bobby" chant got going, as he said that he knew Vince would make his life hell, and that he was gonna have to defend the ECW belt a helluva lot.  However, Lashley didn't care.  He told Vince to mark his words, that no-one that Vince sends at him will stop him.  And that was that.  Best Lashley promo ever.  A bit more of this and we might just have a half-way decent character on our hands.

Taz(z) & Joey wondered if Lashley had just committed career suicide while Bobby hugged a fat woman and then a small child with a Rey mask on.  Or maybe it was just Rey.  Who knows?

Do we love Bobby?

CM Punk vs. Stevie Richards in a "2 televised matches in a year...Stevie's on a roll!" match

Punk came out first, to a good reaction.  However, the effects of Wrestlemania were obvious when Punk took his shirt off.  That's right.  Taped ribs.  It's funny how he's selling more than either Jeff Hardy or Edge did last night, when you think about the spot those 2 did.

Punk got a headlock takeover, and sent Stevie into the corner.  Punk went for another takeover, but didn't grab Stevie enough, Richards's head spiking on the mat.  No dillio though, as it only got a 1 count.  Punk was backed into the corner, but grabbed a kick swung by Stevie, kicking Richards himself, before hitting a leg lariat for another 1 count.  Stevie drove Punk into a corner, before putting boots to Punk's taped ribs.    Stevie suplexed Punk for 2, before sending Punk, sternum first, into another corner.  Richards had an abdominal stretch countered into a roll up for 2, but Richards then kicked Punk in the gut, and got the move locked in.

Punk freed himself, but got monkey-flipped.  Richards missed a charge, and Punk hit not one, not seventeen, but THREE high knees in the corner, the third one followed up with the running bulldog.  Punk scored a 2 from that.  Stevie countered a suplex, and called for the StevieDT, but Punk floated over and hit the slap combo before a jumping kick to the back of the head.  Punk then picked Richards up and hit the officially named "GTS/Go To Sleep" ("GTS" seems to be how it'll be referred to day in, day out) for the win.

Thoughts - 6.5/10 - A perfectly serviceable match.  It's always good to see Punk get a win, even if he didn't exact lose face at Wrestlemania.  I mean, it came down to him and Kennedy in the end.  That's gotta tell you something.  It'll be interesting to see what Punk does next.

A man who makes music meets three women who ruin music.

We go quickly to backstage, as RVD and Timbaland talk.  They were respecting each other, and RVD told Ricky Bobby (If you didn't see RAW, that won't make much sense.  But then again, who doesn't watch RAW, but watches ECW?) that if he needed anything, he knew who to call.  RVD, obviously.

With that, as Timba prepared to stand around and look bored, The trio who got out-preferred by Eugene to Moolah & Mae Young at Wrestlemania come running over.  That's right.  Those Slutty Nitro Girls.  They professed to be big fans before asking Timbaland if he knew who they were.  Amazingly he did (RVD probably reminded him seconds before they cut to them)!  They then brought up the fact some Divas will be in his next music video, asking him to watch their dance later.  He said he would, before hitting his blackberry texting up his homies.  Well, I say that, but somehow, I woke up this morning to find this message on my mobile:

Dude, three slutty girls just hit up on me.  Thank God my hash dealer told me their names a few seconds earlier.  Man, we gotta get freaky with those pieces of white ass later on.

It all makes sense now...

I just gotta say, I (legally) downloaded some tracks from his new album, and they are damn good.  And I'm not a hip hop fan.  I'm a rocker.  Suffice to say my favourite ones are with The Hives and Fall Out Boy.

Peer pressure is just such a bitch...

Punk was clutching his ribs backstage when he came across Matt Striker & Marcus Cor Von.  Striker said that he, and the New Breed were impressed with Punk's work on Sunday.  However, Punk said that he told Elijah Burke that he was fine on his own.  Cor Von stepped in, and told Punk that he's either with the New Breed or against them.  Before the former Monty Brown and the former member of "The Gathering" got into it, Striker stepped in and told him to watch what they did later.  It was nice to see someone other than Burke doing the recruiting.

Just I thought I was out, they pulled me back in...

Normally, I would ignore the Slutty Nitro Girls, but in the interests of helping Timbaland, I thought I’d better view the horror... 

Suffice to say, if you try to watch Leyla & Brooke, then you're not too bad.  However, I dare you to keep not keep watching Kelly Kelly.  She's like a car crash in there.  You just can't help but watch her move at a different time then the others, if not plumb-go in the wrong direction!  Not the worst they've done though...

Snitsky def. Bob Holly in a "He must have a private room on permanent standby by now..." match

After the recap video that played at the end of Wrestlemania and then on RAW last night (which while totally awesome, still wasn't entirely necessary here), we saw that Snitsky was up next.  Maybe I could see that video again?  And what do you know?  Snitsky came out with drool dripping out of his mouth.

Holly tried punching away, but he was felled by a clothesline, before being backed into the corner, where Snitsky first put the boots to his chest, before choking him with one hand.  Holly tried punching and kicking his way out, but found his only escape came when Snitsky bodyslammed him and dropped a couple of elbows for 1.  Holly came out of the corner, only running into a side slam for 2.  A straight right fist downed Holly for another 2.  Snitsky went for a suplex, but Holly floated over and tried the Alabama Slam, but Snitsky countered (and countered well), before smacking Holly in the mush with a Big Boot for three.

After the match came the fun part, however.  Holly got tossed to the outside, where Snitsky followed him, collecting a chair on the way.  After some jabs to the gut, Snitsky put Holly's arm between the two parts of the ring steps. Snitsky then smacked the top of the steps a few times before leaving as Holly writhed in pain.

Thoughts - 4/10 - Lemme guess.  Holly's injured, and for some reason they seem to think we'll miss him if they don't run an injury angle first.  Match wasn't much, although it wasn't offensive to watch.  The angle after put Snitsky across as destructive, but all in all...meh.  It's Bob Holly.  And he's not the man with "Bob" in his name that we love...

The New Breed def. The Originals in a "The garbage men won the wrestling match.  The wrestlers won the garbage match.  WHAT KIND OF WORLD IS THIS?!?!?!" Extreme Rules match

After a Hall Of Fame recap, our participants made their way out.  Notably, at the very beginning of the Originals TitanTron video, who do we see?  Yes, the forgotten man of the feud, Balls Mahoney...  I say that, because they came down the aisle for the match, not through the crowd.  And Sandman was actually drinking the beer tonight, rather than simply pouring it in the general direction of his mouth before busting it over his head.

As we came back from the final break, we saw Sabu & Matt Striker had started the match without us.  And for a match "without rules", they all seemed perfectly happy to stand on the apron and wait to be tagged...  Sabu landed a springboard swinging DDT.  He locked in his Hall of Fame uncle's Camel Clutch, which Kevin Thorn broke up, only breaking down the match at this early point.  RVD avoided the action, by loading up the plunder.  The New Breed were banished to ringside.  While a couple of the Originals had flashbacks to the mid 90's, Sandman decided to propel himself over the top onto Striker. Sabu followed.  Back in the ring, Dreamer whipped Striker into a garbage can wedged in the corner, but had an Irish whip reversed by Marcus Cor Von who hit a move Tommy knew well.  The drop toe-hold into a chair.  Sandman brought a table into play, as the New Breed mugged Dreamer in the ring, while one of them kept the other Originals from getting in the ring.  Thorn even broke his cane putting it to Dreamer, which allowed Burke to get 2.

Dreamer caught Thorn and Burke for a dual DDT/hangman's neckbreaker, as the other Originals made it back into the ring (better late than never).  RVD forced Cor Von into the corner, allowing Sabu to hit Air Sabu, before the pair double teamed Striker with a somersault leg-drop and Rolling Thunder combo.  However, Cor Von caught Sabu's attempted crossbody, turning it into a nice powerbomb for 2.  Burke ducked a Sandman cane swing, hitting some boxing punches before hitting Sandman with a garbage.  However, Dreamer hit back with a stop sign to the face.  Dreamer tied Burke up in the Tree Of Woe, and with Sabu's help, hit the low dropkick to the face via a chair.

Striker then took a Dreamer sit-out spinebuster on a trash can, but Cor Von hit him in the back with a chair.  Sandman saved with cane shots.  As tables were being set up, Cor Von hit Dreamer with one of John Cena's spinning powerbombs on a chair.  Sandman was again prime to make the save though.  But Marcus reversed the attempted whip into a table, with a Pounce.  Before he could celebrate too much, RVD & Sabu took turns at throwing a chair at him.  Thorn thought this was a laugh, so he threw a chair at Sabu.  Left without a chair to do it again however, he clotheslined RVD.  RVD & Thorn teased putting the other through the table, before Sabu saved RVD from taking the Dark Kiss with a chair to the face.  They set Thorn up on a table, before hitting a DOUBLE LEG DROP through the table.  Distracted by Striker, Sabu took the Elijah Express (first time lucky this week!) THROUGH A TABLE!!!  Burke made a cover for the win!

Thoughts - 9/10 - Yeah, I'm going there.  This was an awesome garbage match.  This is the match they should have had on Sunday, and we’d be talking about it today as something that might have stolen the show.  Everything pretty much flowed from one thing to the next, and there was even something of a story to it, as after taking the dropkick to the face, Burke stayed out of the match right until that end spot.

OVERALL - 7.5/10 (+/- 0.5 on last week) - Good show this week.  Didn’t exactly advance things, but nothing really sucked.  Dancers aside, obviously.  But Lashley cut a good promo, Punk had a good match and we got an AWESOME main event.  Should be interesting to see where they go from here.

That’s all I got for now, but if you have something to say about this week’s ECW, you can e-mail me at dedicated e-mail address, or come hunt me down on the WWI Forums!

OR, you can find me along with the rest of the dribbling masses on MY OWN MYSPACE PAGE!

Well, I’ll be back on Friday for Smackdown, but for now, I believe I’ve fulfilled my contractual obligations.  For reading this, and continuing to support World Wrestling Insanity, you’re cooler than the other side of the pillow…

I’m out.