Hello everyone. Hope all’s good in the hood on your side of the computer screen. But I must start off this week with an apology. Sorry for being so late with the Heat Report guys. I know I got crap to do but I got a responsibility here too. So I apologize for not fulfilling responsibility. But more importantly, a public apology goes out to James Guttman. He “hired” me and I owe him to be on time with my columns and do a damn good job with them. So JG thanks for being such a great boss and sorry for being irresponsible sometimes.

Now that we got the personal stuff out of the way let’s get down to business. It’s time for Heat (or you might just call it re-Heat) cause its always the same ol’ stuff week in and week out.

Cryme Tyme is popin’ as usual and their jobber opponents this week are The Miz and mom dressed as Christopher Nowitzki. They both look ridiculous and I’m already yawning. Match starts off with JTG who takes control early on. He connects with right hands, a very nice hiptoss and a hard dropkick. Tag made to Gaspard who whips JTG into the jobber. JTG connects with the Stinger Splash and then Shad hits one hard ass clothesline in the corner. He uses his brute strength to toss the little guy all the way across the ring. Bennett takes the tag and gets tossed too. Snake eyes by the big man but instead of a big boot Shad sends Bennett spinning with a forearm to the face.

JTG tagged in. He nails a few elbows and kicks MB in the face with those gangsta timbs. Then the two jobbers actually gain control of the match. Bennett has the ref distracted while the illegal guy (Andrews) beats up JTG. Then both guys lay in some hits and Bennett actually nails TG with a judo flip. Then he applies a sleeper. JTG tags in a fresh Shad who cleans house with his hot tag. Decapitating clotheslines hit one after the other on the jobbers and then the shirt comes off. He gorilla presses Andrews over the top rope and drops him to the outside. Wow, nice move man. Then he and JTG hit the G-9 on the other guy for the win.

I saw it last week. I saw it the week before last. And I’m sure I’ll see it next week. Cryme Tyme beat another team of jobbers. Same old moves, same old ending.

April 15^th, Hulk Hogan is on WWE Uncut. Exclusively on wwe.com brotha.

What is this? Again? Oh my God, I’m being tortured. I saw this match last week and about two weeks ago. And guess what? Kenny won both times. Well apparently Val Venis actually thinks he can beat the young kid. So tonight he challenges him again. Who’s gonna win? What do you think?

Kenny is rocking teal tights tonight. Match beings with Kenster taking Val to school. That certainly helps his ego. Val comes back strong too though. He hits his Irish whip into knee followed by a Russian leg sweep combo for the two count. A couple of knees to the gut and then he gives Dykstra a gutbreaker. Kenny sends Val face first into the turnbuckle to regain momentum. He chokes Val in the ropes and hits his somersault clothesline for the two count. He applies the neck lock but Val breaks out only to be hit by a phenomenal dropkick. Pin gives Kenny a two. He hits a flying elbow and locks in the neck lock again. Val fights out but Dykstra scoop slams him. Val comes back with a couple of clotheslines and a back body drop. Connects with a spinout powerbomb for the two. Then Val hits a fisherman suplex for the two. Val locks in a modified version of the figure four but Kenny gets to the ropes. Morley actually gets a crucifix on Kenny but Dykstra counters and uses the tights to get the pinfall.

I might as well quote what I said for the last match, cause the same applies here. I have seen enough Venis-Dykstra matches to last me a lifetime.

On WWE SideSplitters, JBL argues with Godzilla.

At least he gets his entrance on Heat. On Raw we usually find Masters in the ring when we return from break. Tonight he’s gonna destroy some guy dressed in black and yellow. Chris starts the match with a series of back clubs. He hangs Edwards up in the tree of woe. He starts kicking and pounding away at the upside down man. Irish whip from corner to corner and then a butterfly suplex takes down Edwards. Knees to his back and a snapmare takedown by the Masterpiece. He backs Mike into the corner but misses a clothesline. He actually gets in a few punches and a flying shoulderbutt. But Masters catches the flying jobber and hits him with a backbreaker. Then Mr. Masters beautifully catches the Masterlock and picks up the win.

The ending to this match was the highlight of the night. Good one Masters that was quite an eye opener. Even the live crowd grew a little…..alive.

Next time on My Day off, Work out with John Cena! Damn they don’t even leave him alone when he’s off. (Sounds just like my job).

Eugene (who’s hair is coming nicely) is in the ring with the T-Shirt Launcher. Well you know something is wrong here. Glad to have the luxuries of internet stream videos cause I can fast forward. Oh my God, it’s Khali! That cheap bastard, he doesn’t wanna give me free shirts. Khali comes out and does what he does best. He beat the crap out of Eugene. In his defense Gene launches a shirt at Khali but it has no effect. I wonder if Khali would‘ve no sold it had Eugene aimed for the little Khaliflowers. The decimation begins with a Giant boot to Eugene. Backs baldie into the corner and nails a few elbows. He hits his open hand chop to the head. Then he nails the double hand chokeslam and raises his hands in victory.

Heat sucked liked a prostitute to begin with but it turned much better after that. The ending especially was quite different and that is something Heat definitely needs. Too bad no new tag teams have debuted so that they can be shoved aside to Heat. Oh well one can only hope.

That just about does it for me. If you have any suggestions, comments or criticisms then please do tell. Send me an e-mail at Naeem920@gmail.com. Or you can hit me up with a PM at the Insanity Message Boards. My username is Naeem920.

See you Thursday night with the Impact Report.

Until then I'm Saad Naeem and that was Heat.