LAST WEEK ON SMACKDOWN:  Jeff Hardy paid a visit, Paul London checked out and Regal & Taylor weren’t squashed!

THIS WEEK…

No time to lose!

Our cold open was red hot (does that mean it was a "mild" open?) as Batista was already fighting with Ken Kennedy in the backstage area, as even the cameraman was knocked on his ass.  They brawled towards the Gorilla position, as Finlay joined in and the camera broke down.  As Cole & JBL wondered what was going on, Batista & Finlay came out, with Batista ramming Finlay into the handily parked double-decker bus, as JBL made a timely (and predictive when he said it) Liverpool/Chelsea reference.  Batista was being pounded on when the lights went out and the gong sounded.  The lights came back on with Undertaker in the ring.  Kennedy & Finlay, despite being miles away ran away.  The lights went off and came back on again, with Undertaker disappearing as if by magic!  A bit bizarre...

Well, the opening bit was only 5 minutes long...

We dipped into the vault early in the UK, as we headed back to May of 2002 where Tajiri came out with his Geisha-dressed girlfriend Torrie Wilson (and somehow, she looked hottest completely covered up) followed by The Hurricane.  The Cruiserweight Title was on the line.  The match was going pretty good when Torrie decided that she was fed up being Tajiri put-upon girlfriend, climbing on the announce desk and taking off the Geisha outfit.  Tajiri rolled outside to shout at her, where he was counted out, giving Hurricane the win, but not the belt.

And don't fear for Hurricane.  He'd win the belt the following week, so it was more or less a win/win!

2 + 2 = Main Event

Finlay & Kennedy were backstage with Teddy Long.  Kennedy suggested that Long booked Taker & Batista's match at Backlash for tonight instead.  Long liked the idea of seeing Batista & Taker in action.  However, Long preferred match would be The Deacon & The Deadman against Finlay & Kennedy in tag team action.  And just for poops and hee-haws, it would be No Disqualification!

Kane & The Boogeyman def. William Regal & Dave Taylor in a "Brits?  In Britain?  I smell a job…" match

Man, this is gonna be weird.  Kane came out first, and even he looked rather perplexed by Boogeyman's entrance!  Boogeyman had new face-paint with a dash of yellow, especially a blob of it in each of his ears.  Kane then smiled when he got a close up look.  Regal & Taylor then came out, and despite seeing people clapping, it seemed as though there was booing, so...

Kane & Regal kicked us off.  Well, Kane kicked Regal off, to tell you the truth, as a Big Boot took the Brit down.  In the corner, Kane worked on Regal before whipping him to the opposite corner.  A charge was blocked though, with Regal tagging out.  Kane sent Taylor into the corner he sent Regal into seconds earlier, but this time, he clotheslined him in there twice before choking him.  Kane was distracted by the ref, which allow Taylor to knee Kane and bring Regal in.  Willy stomped Kane down into a corner, as a "Let's Go Regal" chant kicked in.  it didn't last long, and neither did Regal's offence, as Kane took it to him.  Kane hit the side slam, and as Boogeyman jumped up and down on the outside, he hit the flying clothesline too for two.  The heels took over again on Kane however.  Taylor thought he was clever by hanging onto the ropes and taking a powder while Kane went for a boot.  However, Boogeyman clotheslined him down as we took a break.

The show came back with Kane in control of Regal, as Cole & JBL wondered why Kane had yet to tag out.  Kane was sent into the ringpost when Taylor shoved him while on the apron.  Kane got back in before being counted out, to be met by Dave Taylor who locked in an arm & neck hold.  As Taylor tagged out, Kane tried to do similar, but was stopped.  Regal continued Taylor's work.  Kane fought Regal off, but Dave Taylor was brought back in to continue Regal's continuation of Taylor's original work.  Kane got out of hit by hitting a belly-to-belly.  The English hit a double team suplex, as Boogeyman swayed back and forth.  Kane sent Taylor into the corner, but Taylor jumped to the second rope.  He missed a cross body however, and Kane tagged in the Boogeyman!  Boogeyman hit a scoop slam to Regal and a clothesline got two. The double handed chokeslam (and a quite nice looking one as well, actually!) by Boogeyman ended it, as JBL wondered if they could be tag champions!  Kane & Boogey celebrated by enjoying each other's oddities.

Thoughts - 6/10 - Yeah, this wasn't as bad as it sounded last week.  that was probably because Kane did all the work right up until the end, and Boogeyman's stuff was kept short & sweet.  Boogeyman seemed to be enjoying himself out there too.  To be honest, I think a team with Kane would really help him out, since they have rather compatible character.  Even the tag titles aren't out of the question, because unlike the Cena/HBK team, there is a definite weak link they can have job to pretty much anyone when they take the belts off of them.  Let's leave title talk for a bit of a while though.  I'd rather see what happens next with...

Deuce def. Brian Kendrick in an "I thought that champions lost the singles matches?  Man, those Hardys must really suck..." match

Londrick came out together, but while Kendrick sprinted as per, London walked with his ribs taped up, selling his crash & burn from last week.  Deuce & Domino then came out in a pink Cadillac (where did they get one of those in the UK?  Was Grease in town?  Actually, it probably was...), with Deuce the one competing.  Cole said Londrick had claimed their rematch, but it would happen when London could work again (read: Judgement Day).  Kendrick used his speed in the early going before working a headlock, which turned into a quick backslide.  Deuce got a hammerlock, but Spanky jumped out of it and got his headlock back on, taking Deuce down.  Deuce worked his way into a headscissors with the arm barred but Spanky flipped out of it.  Back to a Kendrick headlock, but Deuce powered it into a top wrist-lock.  Kendrick got out of that back to the headlock.  Deuce elbowed out of it and got on his own headlock, but Kendrick used his leg to bring Deuce to the mat.  Deuce clubbed his way out.  Deuce came off the ropes into a Spanky dropkick but Deuce took him down.  An elbow drop scored a 2 count.  Deuce then went for a couple of cool covered, but didn't score the three.  Deuce used Kendrick's arms to choke himself out, but Kendrick kicked out of the hold.  A Spanky sunset flip didn't work as Deuce thumped him with a right hand.  A sort-of-inverted-Full-Nelson was turned into an armbar.  Kendrick fought out and went for Sliced Bread #2 but Deuce was having none of it.  Kendrick was sent over the rope, but Spanky skinned the cat back in and headscissored Deuce over and hit an enziguri.  He then hit Sliced Bread #2.  Cherry got on the apron, as Domino attack London.  Spanky kicked Domino down, but Deuce hit a jumping heel kick for the three count!

Thoughts - 6/10 - It has to be said, if Rand Orton and his "Chinlock Of Doom" irk you, then you'll be spitting feathers at Kendrick for all the headlocks, but it was an interesting change of match.  It wasn't what I expected.  Not that it was bad, and when they quit with the holds, it really did pick up.  There was a good match to be had here, but this wasn't quite it.

Someone should have told them they were doing an interview...

Kristal tired to interview Deuce & Domino, but they preferred to pose, before Domino hit a classic line.

MVP def. Hamlet MacBeth in a "Someone's been reading their Shakespeare..." match

MVP came out first, and got on the mic.  He hit a GREAT line that MUST be his catchphrase.  He promised to become US Champ at Backlash before introducing his opponent.  And what a special treat it would be.  He said he had TWO men lined up.  MVP then gave clues to his first opponent, which was full of Scottish references!

GOD BLESS YOU SIR!!!!

Even though he had the first name of Hamlet (which is of course, Danish...) he was, in reality, a worker named Drew Galloway, but he had the name Hamlet MacBeth and came out dressed up as a cheap Braveheart knock-off!.  They traded arm-wringers before MVP just clotheslined the Scot down.  A body slam scored a 2, before MVP hit a neckbreaker.  He then hit the BALLIN~! elbow...Which elbow?  This one:

MacBeth was sent into the corner where his wig flew off, which actually rather magically allowed him to get in most of his offence including a roll up for 2.  MVP hit a HUGE clothesline, with a massive 360 degree sell, The high boot in the corner set up the Playmaker, which scored the win.

Thoughts - 4/10 - +10 for choosing Scotland.  -30 for making him a Braveheart knock-off (we generally hate the film).  +10 for calling Edinburgh (pronounced Ed-in-burr-ah) "Eedinberg" (I'm gonna have to use that!).  +10 for using the BALLIN~! elbow (sorry xofdre, I feel the tilde/bang is necessary at this point...) and +4 for the match itself, which was good enough as jobber matches go, but it was still a jobber match. 

Chris Benoit def. MVP by Countout in a "Save it for Sunday!" match

MVP got on the mic again to bring out his second jobber, but Chris Benoit interrupted.  Benoit has a mic with him.  He took in a bunch of cheers before suggesting that MVP took on a real champion, before sauntering to the ring.  The bell rang, and the locked up.  Benoit got the upperhand with chops and a suplex for 2.  As JBL complained about Benoit taking on a tired guy, Benoit worked over MVP with boots and punches.  A charge to the corner was countered by MVP with feet to the face.  Benoit kicked MVP off and chopped away, before sending MVP off the ropes.  However, MVP stopped himself running, kicking Benoit hard, sending him out the ring as we took another break.  Man, this is non-stop stuff!

Back from break and Benoit was fighting his way out of a sleeper hold, but was hit with a fluid overhead belly to belly throw by MVP.  A suplex got 2.  MVP went back to trying to put Benoit to sleep.  Benoit arm dragged out of it, but Porter kicked him down.  A boot to the head got 2 for MVP.  Benoit ducked another kick to hit a German.  Benoit got the Crossface on, but MVP was far too near the ropes.  Benoit positioned MVP on the top and hit the superplex for a pair of 2 counts.  Benoit went to the sharpshooter, but like any good face (even though he's the heel) MVP made the bottom rope.

MVP went for another belly to belly, but Benoit locked in the Crossface again, but Porter again made the bottom rope.  Benoit went to the German well, hitting five in a row.  Benoit went up top,. but MVP took a powder and left, giving Benoit the Countout win. 

Thoughts - 6.5/10 - The match deserves more points, but to be honest, I don't quite get it.  I think there was too much match here.  There were certainly too many winning opportunities handed out here, and other spots that should have been kept for Sunday.  The German suplexes especially.  I mean, logically, Benoit has to better 5 in a row now.  That said, this was good and Sunday will hopefully be as good.

About bloody time they started with this bloody angle!

Kristal and Teddy Long were making out, as they reminisced about their European tour.  Kristal said those three little words...Chinese takeaway tonight?  NFL Draft tomorrow!  I've got crabs...  Ouch, that hurts!  I Love You....  Teddy reciprocated.  Kristal wished that they could spend more time together.  Long said he was thinking about scaling back and giving someone else a bit more responsibility.  Ah!  So it's not sexual harassment anymore.  It's a hostile takeover!  I'm suddenly loving this angle now!  What a difference a delay and a little creativity makes!

Jillian Hall def. Michelle McCool in a "Jillian could reign over me any day of the week!" match

After a reminder that Mark Henry returns NEXT WEEK (well, it didn't say that, but it said "in 2 weeks last week, so...), Jillian came out first and got on the mic.  Help me.  She said that since Prince William had broken up with his boyfriend, so she fancied a date.  Jillian began to sing when Michelle McCool's music kicked in (HALLELUJAH!).  And by crikey guvnor, Michelle looked HOT!!!

Jillian went off offence with snapmares before pounding her head into the mat.  Jillian hit a kick to the gut into corner, before hitting a bodyslam.  She went for a tumbling splash, but met with knees.  They slugged it out.  Jillian was sent off the ropes to be met with an elbow.  Michelle then hit a NICE suplex and a NICE Russian leg sweep for 2.  However, Jillian hit an Uppercut and hit X-Pac's old X-Factor for the win.  Jillian got the mic again and (and Cole, JBL and myself feared the worst) started singing again.  Michelle then started beating the crap out of Jillian, sending her into the steel steps.

Thoughts - 5/10 - Pretty good little outing from these 2 with some crisp moves, especially from Michelle.  More please.

Batista & Undertaker def. Ken Kennedy & Finlay in a "The guys with a metal briefcase and a wooden stick couldn't win?" No DQ Match

After a mostly nekkid Maryse welcomed us back and a rundown of the Backlash card (when was the last time a PPV was made up entirely of title matches???), it was Main Event time!  Kennedy came out first, told us that he came form Green Bay (which had real "Football" (despite the fact most of American football is played with the hands, where we use the body part inherent in the name)), before telling us his name.  Finlay then came out as we took a break.  But it was just one of those small promo ones for the UK, given the US insistence on having far too many breaks to shill stuff.  So we quickly came to back to see Batista come out.  He chased the heels out of the ring.  It's no DQ...why are they waiting?  Oh yeah...Undertaker and his 10 minute walk to the ring. 

After a brief staredown between themselves, Batista & Taker attacked the heels, but it settled into Batista & Finlay squaring off, although they quickly tagged in their partners.  Not to nitpick (well, I kinda am), but surely by virtue of this being No DQ, it should be "Texas Tornado" rules?  Kennedy worked on Taker in the corner, but was taken down with a clothesline for 2, before both men tagged out again.  Finlay fought off a Batista corner charge with by putting the boots up, but Finlay was caught with a suplex.  Kennedy tried to attack, but Batista sent Kenneth into Finlay, sending both men to the outside, as we took the final commercial break for the evening.

We came back as Batista hit Kennedy with a suplex.  Taker came in and went for Old School but Finlay distracted him, allowing Kennedy to get an armdrag.  However, Taker wasn't long for having another go at it, hitting Old School eventually.  And since he was on a roll. Taker went 2 for 3 as Finlay came in and was hit with Old School as well.  A STO to Kennedy by Taker only scored a one count.  Batista sent Finlay into the steel steps and Rammed him spine first into the apron.  Taker positioned Kennedy on the apron, but Taker's "vintage" offence was a no-go this time as Finlay tried to attack.  However, Taker got the upperhand, sending Finlay into Cole & JBL, losing them for a few moments, Cole especially.

Batista tagged in and he sent Kennedy through the turnbuckles into the ringpost.  However, Kennedy hit a low dropkick to the taped knee of Batista (selling last week's attack) to counter a corner charge.   Finlay laid in with shillelagh shots to Batista's injured leg.  As Taker fought off Kennedy, Finlay came in with a knee drop to Batista's sore leg, as both men took turns to work it over (and as JBL noted that Taker was letting it happen, looking for an Advantage at Backlash).  Batista speared Kennedy down and signalled for the Batista Bomb.   Batista sent Kennedy up but Kennedy hit the weak knee and tagged out to Finlay, who knocked Taker off the apron before going after Batista's knee with the shillelagh.  Taker charged in with the corner clotheslines to the heels.  A double chokeslam attempt failed but Taker came off the ropes with a double clothesline. He gave his opponents chokeslams, but as he called for a Tombstone on Kennedy,  Batista snuck in and gave Finlay a spinebuster to steal the three count.

Afterwards, Batista got the stick and said that nobody could keep him down for a 10 count and that the title belonged to him, and he'd win it at Backlash.  Batista took his leave, but Undertaker got on the mic himself (London got a Taker promo!), to say that Batista should know that he wasn't any ordinary man, and that Taker planned to keep on taking stuff from Batista, on this occasion, his soul.  Undertaker held the title up as the show ended.

Thoughts - 6.5/10 – This was a decent match, but it was certainly a bit odd.  I mean, despite the fact it was No DQ, not only did they almost entirely follow standard tag team rules, but there wasn’t much to get DQ’ed over otherwise, aside from a few shillelagh shots.  Action was decent enough though.

OVERALL - 7.5/10 (+/- x on last week) - I’m damn tempted to give this an 8, but I just can’t bring myself since there wasn’t a REALLY good match to form the lynch pin of the show.  The wrestling that was on here was good, just nothing that will necessarily be remembered as the pinnacle of the show.  But sure as hell, this show was damn some entertaining.  If you didn’t see it, it was worth watching.  If you just so happened to be reading this before the show starts, and you’re on the fence, watch it.  It’s got the Aaron guarantee!

That’s all I got for now, but if you have something to say about this week’s Smackdown, you can e-mail me at dedicated e-mail address, or come hunt me down on the WWI Forums!

OR, you can find me along with the rest of the dribbling masses on MY OWN MYSPACE PAGE!

Well, I’ll be back with a Club audio show tomorrow previewing Backlash and rounding up this week’s doings on WWE TV, but for now, I believe I’ve fulfilled my contractual obligations.  For reading this, And continuing to support World Wrestling Insanity, you’re cooler than the other side of the pillow…

I’m out.