4/30 WWE RAW: Mallory's Ongoing Coverage of the Show
By Mallory Mahling
Welcome to WWI's real-time coverage of Raw. You may need to hit "refresh" from time to time for the latest update. Raw was live tonight from the Gaylord Entertainment Center in Nashville, Tennessee. It has been two years since Raw visited Music City U.S.A. John Cena was walking backstage with his title belt slung over his shoulder. He met up with Mister McMahon wearing a do-rag and with the ECW title belt over his shoulder. Mister McChamp was behaving like an elderly homeboy. Cena called him a stooge in a do rag. Shawn Michaels walked up and looked at the McBoss like he'd lost his mind.. Then HBK told Cena that sometimes it's better to be lucky than good. He wanted one more shot at the WWE championship and he wanted it right now. McHomey insisted he would make the decision. Yes, one more shot, but he would need to earn his spot. Peace out, my brothers, he said in farewell. Cena and HBK agreed McMahon had lost it. Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler welcomed viewers to this post-Backlash show. (1) Edge vs. Randy Orton. Edge started by bitch slapping Orton. Orton was dominating and he sent Edge flying in the guardrail as the show went to commercial. (Commercial break) J.R. told the viewers several times that this match was supposed to have happened last week but didn't happen because Cena and HBK had hogged all the time with their 60 minute and 15 second match. Yeah, right. Perhaps it didn't happen because one of the participants was no longer in the country. Edge had assumed control of the match and sent Orton into the announce table, destroying the table and the equipment. Back in the ring, they collided in mid-air, but got to their feet before being counted out. Near fall by Orton, then a second near all and a third, followed by another mid-air collision. Edge took the turnbuckle pad off, and Orton rolled him up for a pin. Edge reversed it. Orton rained punches down on Edge. An RKO turned into an Impaler DDT. Orton's face was a crimson mask, observed J.R. Orton moved in for the kill, so to speak, while Edge had his back turned. Back and forth it went with pinning attempts--each with their feet on the ropes. But Edge had the final finisher, a Spear, and pinned Orton for the win. Exciting match, but the ending was hardly a big surprise. Remember Santino Marella? He'll be interviewed later tonight. (Commercial break) Todd Grisham introduced Santino Marella, the Intercontinental Champion. He told some convoluted tale of visiting relatives in Italy and buying a ticket to Raw, and the rest, as they say, was history. Santino appreciated Bobby Lashley's help. Next week will be his first title defense. I can hardly wait. Last night RVD had expressed his opinion of Mister McMahon's destruction of ECW. He called it a day of loss for the spirit of the real ECW. For his comments, RVD will be facing Umaga tonight. McHomey complained to Shane that those damn ECW originals don't like his father. He put Shane in charge of making sure that Umaga beat the stuffing out of RVD. McMahon thanked Shane for his help last night, and Shane told his dad he loved him and gave him a hug. McMahon didn't seem to know how to react. Maria started to interview Edge, but he said he didn't want to answer the questions of some bimbo. Edge was angry because HBK had finagled yet another title shot. (Commercial break) Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch and come to ringside to watch the following match with The King and J.R. They were awfully polite for having lost last night's match. However, they were much better spoken than the usual guest commentators. (2) Jeff Hardy vs. Johnny Nitro. Good back and forth action, extreme style, and Hardy pinned Nitro with a Swanton Bomb. Cade and Murdoch even applauded them. Then Cade took the mic and said they wanted to come into the ring and shake Jeff's hand. Don't do it, Jeff. Hardy refused. And wisely so. He headed up the ramp and Cade and Murdoch couldn't figure why he didn't want to shake their hands. (Commercial break) Last night, by hook and by crook, Mister McMahon had won the ECW Title. Here comes the money. Shane O'Mac introduced Umaga, who snarled his way to the ring, Estrada-less this evening. (Commercial break) (3) Umaga vs. Rob Van Dam. The match had started during the break. RVD got in a few good moves, but got pulled around by his ponytail for the most part. Lukewarm RVD chants from the crowd. Not a good sign. Van Dam got on Umaga's back and applied a sleeper hold, and Shane was worried. Umaga backed into the corner and brushed him off. RVD jumped back on Umaga's back, and Umaga slammed him into the ring steps. Back in the ring, Umaga set RVD up in the corner and charged him. RVD moved just in time. RVD suddenly had the upper hand. Rolling Thunder and a cover, but Umaga flicked him off. RVD went up top and splashed down on Umaga. He was caught by the throat and got a Samoan Spike. Very good match. RVD was bound to lose it, but at least it wasn't the usual boring squash match. Mr. McChamp came out wearing a suit and a do rag and a title belt. I have to question his accessorizing, but what the heck. At least he looks better in a do rag than a hat. (Commercial break) Cowboy Troy was in the front row. Ric Flair was having a beverage backstage when Carlito came up and apologized for yelling at him in Spanish last week. Carlito thought they could still be winners as a tag team. (4) Shawn Michaels vs. John Cena. "Sexy Boy" started, but no HBK. On the TitanTron HBK could be seen slumped against a wall in the back. Hmmm… (Commercial break) Medics were tending to HBK and Coach immediately put the blame on Cena. Cena promptly picked Coach up by his lapels in anger. McMahon said he didn't give a damn about Michaels, but he was his main event. He insisted that HBK get to the ring. (5) Ric Flair & Carlito (w/Torrie) & Charlie Haas & Shelton Benjamin. This will be Carlito and Flair's last chance to be successful, according to Carlito. That's a statement of doom if I ever heard one. Flair styled and profiled, then Carlito attacked Flair on purpose. Flair had some payback to dish out. Carlito started to walk away, but the Dirtiest Player in the Game was not done. It ended when Carlito raked his eyes. Backstage,Edge was unconscious. The plot thickens. Anybody seen Orton lately????? (Commercial break) It had become a Who Dun It, according to J.R. Cut to a promo for Steve Austin's movie. Please go see it. Pretty please. Egypt Central was sitting in the front row. The King said they were a band from Memphis. Mr.-Money-In-the-Bank, Mr. Kennedy, headed down the ramp. The first thing he said was that he had not done that, referred to the beat-downs. His white Bronco had no blood stains and is there was a glove, it wouldn't fit. Blah, blah, blah. He asked if the fans wanted to see him cash in his briefcase. They seemed to want him to. He said he wasn't going to do that, so the fans told him he sucked. Anyway, he had decided the time and place when he was going to cash it in. In 335 days at WrestleMania 24 he would cash in the brief case. Mark your calendars. Elsewhere backstage, Randy Orton had been knocked out. (Commercial break) McMahon was asking an employee/yes-man if he was shocked. Coach burst in with the news that all the top stars have been knocked out. McMahon said he'd figured it out. He ordered Coach to tell Cena to get to the ring so they could get to the bottom of it. (6) Diva Tag Match: Victoria & Melina vs. Candice Michelle & Mickie James. The King said this was going to be a doozie. If you say so. To be fair, it was better than the usual catfight. Candice rolled Victoria up for the pin and the win. Cena was on his way to the ring. (Commercial break) Sandman, Tommy Dreamer and RVD were all appalled that McMahon had "won" the ECW title that meant so much to them. Their lines were so heartfelt, there must have been a tremendous amount of truth in their words. Cena came out to a mix of cheers and boos tonight. He got in the ring and grabbed a microphone. He said someone was trying to get his attention. He never backs down from a challenge, so "if ya want some, come get some." He pulled off his shirt and was ready to go. The man responsible for the carnage was supposed to come out. Who could it be? Khali. UGH!!!!!!! A Cena-Khali feud is not a good thing. I hope they aren't expecting any 60-minutes matches out of this over-sized oaf. Khali came out and beat the snot out of Cena as the crowd chanted Cena's name. Geez, they were booing him just moments ago. Cena actually got Khali up, but Cena got a choke slam and Khali put his foot on Cena's chest, then picked up the title belt and held it aloft. This had been a good show up until Khali made his entrance. I do not enjoy his massive moves--they scare me.
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