LAST WEEK ON ECW: Armando Estrada forgot about himself, Thorn found he had balls as well as fangs and RVD proved he was the best Original…

THIS WEEK…

Thank God Bobby turned up early.  Armando would've been there all day...

This week's show started before this week's show started (I know that doesn't make sense, but then again, when have I ever done?), as Lashley had come across Armando Alejandro Estrada, who had some rent-a-cops backing him up.  Armando said that if Lashley entered the building or laid a finger on him, then he'd be following Paris Hilton's example and going off to the pen.  Lashley said he didn't want any trouble, before spinning Armando round in his wheelchair and sending him off down the parking lot ramp into some shadowy garbage.  Nothing like a comedy spot where someone rolls into the distance in a wheelchair, screaming as they go...  Lashley told Pittsburgh's finest to take him away.

Marcus Cor Von def. CM Punk in a "Um...That wasn't exactly expected..." match

After Joey & Taz(z) first revealed that it would be 3 on1 against RVD, Punk came out as they announced that it would be Punk vs. Elijah Burke at Judgment Day.  So 2 weeks.  Two New Breed members are behind Elijah after Thorn quit last week...  You can SO tell where this is going...  Cor Von came out next with Elijah, who came all the way to ringside, unlike last week.

Cor Von shoulder-blocked Punk down 9not the Pounce though...), but after a couple of leapfrogs, Punk took Cor Von down with a jumping heel kick followed by a dropkick.  Cor Von took a powder, but pulled Punk out of the ring when he got too near the ropes.  The Alpha Male clotheslined Punk before ramming him back first into the ringpost.  Back in the ring, Cor Von continued to work over Punk's back and ribs.  Marcus put on a bearhug, and despite Punk's attempts to escape, rammed Punk, back-first into the corner.  Cor Von punched first the ribs and then drove fore arms into Punk's kidneys.  A backbreaker got 2, but Cor Von followed up with more knees and another bearhug.  Although Punk fought out of it, Cor Von hit an overhead-Belly To Belly suplex.

Punk countered another bearhug, shrugging off Cor Von into the corner where he laid in some knees, before hitting the bulldog.  The referee started a 10 count, but as both guys got up, Punk hit a neckbreaker, before working a cradle pin for 2.  Punk was sent to the floor again, but as he got to the apron, he snapped Cor Von's neck off the top rope.  Punk then hit a nice springboard clothesline, but he only got 2 from it.

They fought into a corner, where Punk was place don the top rope, but as Cor von came back to him, Punk went for a Spinning DDT.  However, Cor Von countered that, by dumping Punk over the top rope.  With the ref's back turned, Burke kicked Punk in the ribs.  The referee started a count, but Punk managed to get in at 8.  However, he was left prone for Cor Von to hit The Pounce for the win!

Thoughts - 6.5/10 - This was OK, but it felt really rather slow.  Plus, it was rather surprising as it wasn't booked how I thought it would be (i.e. much of a repeat of last week), and while a surprise is no bad thing, it does make me wonder where they are going with this.  I thought Thorn was doing perfectly well in the New Breed, and they seemed to indicate that the New Breed would desert Burke ahead of his eventual match with Punk.

A melding of both my world's...

Joey & Taz(z) actually talked about what will happen on Smackdown this coming Friday on Smackdown, by way of recapping the appropriate segments previously shown on WWE TV.  Now, I'm not telling you anything, in case you don't watch ECW (but for some reason are reading this) and don't want to know what happened on Smackdown, but suffice to say, if you couldn't figure it out after the past few days of WWE shenanigans then, well, I could insult you, but morally, I won't.  I love you people too much.

Snitsky def. The Sandman in a "No, the Originals should be jobbing to Vince..." match

After a Condemned video (they should start giving up that ghost) Sandman came out through the crowd, followed by the Snitster.  Sandman tried to get the jump of Gene, but he was cut off.  Snitsky locked Sandman in a Double Underhook hold (a la the Pedigree), and started shaking and tossing Sandman around, as Taz(z) explained it would damage Sandman's rotator cuffs.  He threw Sandman into a corner, and then hit a hard clothesline as Sandman came out of it.  He put Sandman on his feet before hitting the Big Boot for the three count.

Thoughts - 2/10 - This was very much a squash, and frankly, one of these points is for the submission hold, which was frankly rather cool.  Other than that.  It's surely time to start doing something with Snitsky.

Something tells me Umaga will be better, Vinny...

Backstage, Vince and his junta, having just watched the ugly one beat the drunk one, geed themselves up for their match later on, and at Judgment Day.  Vince said when they face RVD, they should crush the spirit of the originals ECW.  Umaga, like any good savage, screaming his head off...

I'd rather watch Ben Roethlisberger in one of those...

Extreme Expose.  In Steelers shirts (as if it would get them over).  "Toxic" by Britney on the PA.  Next.

I never got to speak to my teacher like that...Well, I kinda did once...

After recapping Vince McMahon's ECW Title win at Backlash, Vince's taunting-cum-matchmaking on RAW and Lashley's arrest earlier tonight, we went backstage to the New Breed.  Well, Burke & Striker.  Burke basically claimed Cor Von's win was down to his leadership.  Striker tried to apologise for last week's loss to the rookies, but Burke cut him off, promising Matthew to show him how things were done, as he was due to face one of the Major Brothers in a match.  Burke left with Striker following him like the pussy-whipped bee-yatch that he is...

Elijah Burke def. Brian Major in a "A Major beating...man, these puns will never get old!" match

They locked up, with Burke taking Major into the corner, before slapping him like any good heel would.  However, while Brian slapped back, Burke began to pound away on the newcomer.  Joey then relayed that the Majors were huge fans of the old ECW and had the stubs of all the shows they went to.  Burke continued to dominate as they finally revealed why Burke has "4 Up" written on his wrist tape ("4 knuckles, upside your head").

Major came back throwing fists, but missed a turning crossbody out of the corner.  Burke dropped his kneepads, as if he was prepping for the Elijah Express, but instead hit The Elijah Experience (a.k.a. The Stroke) for the win!  Burke had Striker raise his arm afterwards as Striker looked oh-so-sorry.

Thoughts - 3/10 - Another pretty pure squash, although Major did get more offence than Sandman did.  Even if they are dismantling the New Breed ahead of Punk vs. Burke, they sure are slow burning Striker's turn against Burke, building up the brow beating until he can't stand no more.

Oh yeah...she does Tarot cards...

We went backstage where, for the first time in FOREVER Ariel had her cards out.  And "cards" isn't a metaphor here.  They really were cards.  Kevin Thorn asked her to reveal the future.  He started to do so, but Thorn stopped her and said that his future wasn't in the New Breed or what the cards said.  He said it was in "fresh blood".  Looks like someone else is going to get sucked by Thorn...erm...yeah...you know what I mean.

Vince McMahon, Shane McMahon & Umaga def. Rob Van Dam in a "What?  No "Coast to Coast" on RVD?" Handicap match

Shane came out first and took the mic to introduce Umaga (which to be frank, he could have been more enthusiastic about doing...) and then Vince.  After the final break, RVD came out all on his lonesome.

RVD & Shane O' Mac started this one off, with them exchanging arm wringers and kip up counters, but Shane snapped off an arm drag.  After some standing switches, RVD got a couple of arm drags on Shane, although Shane ducked a spinning kick.  However, he ran into another one, before he was whipped into a corner, where RVD monkey-flipped him right back out.  RVD caught Umaga trying to come in, but Rob kicked the middle rope into Umaga's nads before kicking him to the floor.  RVD then slid through Shane's legs to the floor, tripping Shane up in the process.  RVD went to get him some of Vince, but Shane hit a baseball slide kick.  Shane worked over RVD in the heel corner, before locking in an armbar.  Shane hit a couple of knees to RVD's gut before whipping him off the ropes.  However, RVD ended up getting the advantage with a kick to Shane's head.  RVD called for the Rolling Thunder, but Umaga low-bridged him, sending him crashing to the floor.  The Samoan Bulldozer then took RVD and threw him into the steps, before rolling him in the ring.  Umaga was soon tagged in, with Umaga hitting a headbutt, followed by a leg drop.  Vince was tagged in, but RVD kicked out of the pin.

Shane was tagged back in, but he quickly tagged Umaga back in.  At this point, RVD began to make a comeback.  However, after Shane kicked him in the back as he came off the ropes, RVD was prone for a Samoan Drop.  Vince was brought in again to try and pick up the win, but again, RVD kicked out.  Umaga came back in and went for the ass splash in the corner, but RVD countered with a low dropkick.  As Umaga & RVD fought it out, Shane tired attacked, but was tossed out by Van Dam.  The Samoan spike was countered with a kick, but when Van Dam went up top, Shane crotched him.

Shane ran back around to his corner, where he was tagged in, allowing him to hit a superplex.  Shane crawled across and tagged in Umaga, who went up top himself, hitting the Samoan Splash, following up with the Samoan Spike.  Vince came in and made the cover.  However, he lifted RVD's shoulder by accident, forcing the ref to stop the count.  But then he shifted his weight, forcing both RVD's shoulders to the mat for the full 3 count, scoring the win.

Thoughts - 7/10 - Pretty good match here, although much the same formula as Backlash was, with Shane & Umaga doing the work and Vince getting the glory.  On balance, I think I preferred the Backlash match, but both of them were fine.  it could really do with an "Extreme Rules" element though, just to raise it a level.

Afterwards, Dreamer & Sabu came out, prompting the heels to leave.  Sabu checked on RVD while Dreamer stared at Vince and his group as the show ended.

OVERALL - 6/10 (- 0.5 on last week) - This was an OK show, but it was booked rather oddly, in my opinion.  Especially when it came to the New Breed suddenly galvanising, or at least not continuing to lose members, as well as Punk losing to one of them without too much cheating going on.  The rest of it was fine, especially when they changed things up to the three on one match, although maybe a notch down again.  But it certainly isn’t anywhere near the depths it was before I took over.

That’s all I got for now, but if you have something to say about this week’s ECW, you can e-mail me at dedicated e-mail address, or come hunt me down on the WWI Forums!

OR, you can find me along with the rest of the dribbling masses on MY OWN MYSPACE PAGE!

Well, I’ll be back on Friday for Smackdown, but for now, I believe I’ve fulfilled my contractual obligations.  For reading this, and continuing to support World Wrestling Insanity, you’re cooler than the other side of the pillow…

I’m out.