Aaron Wood's ECW - Lashley vs. Three Guys who are neither Samoan or a McMahon...
By Aaron Wood
LAST WEEK ON ECW: Snitsky pulled a “Parker” and beat The Sandman (I’ve been saving that one all this time…), Vince’s junta took on someone that wasn’t Lashley and Armando Estrada regretted the lack of brakes…
Don't diss the Doo-Rag, Vince!
We kicked off with what happened the previous night on RAW, and Vince's junta's aborted attempt to beat down Lashley until Vince got the last shot in. Vince then appeared "live via satellite". He said that while he was making a fashion statement with the doo-rag, he didn't want to be wearing it, as he doesn't like wearing things on his head. However, because of what happened at Wrestlemania he had to and that he didn't forgive or forget. He said he liked what he did to Lashley yesterday and that he'd get some more from the New Breed in their match later tonight, before taking another beating on Sunday.
Rob Van Dam def. Snitsky by DQ in a "So much for RVD getting destroyed..." match
After the opening credits, and out of the Smackdown set (I assume it's only for this week due to Ozzy Osbourne being on Smackdown this coming week and performing and extra song in between tapings) but before the break, Rob Van Dam came out, as Joey & Taz(z) introduced us to ECW and put over that this was the next stage of RVD's punishment for being outspoken about Vince McMahon's ECW Title win. Back from the break, Snitsky made his ugly-ass way out.
RVD used his speed to dodge Snitsky and try a side-headlock, but Snitsky picked up RVD and dumped him right back down on his behind. Snitsky picked RVD for a slam, but Van Dam wriggled out and kicked the leg, but he came off the ropes right into a powerslam. Another hard slam was followed by a couple of elbow drops for a 2 count. After clubbing RVD's chest, Snitsky choked him in the corner. A vertical suplex scored another 2 count. Snitsky continued to manhandle RVD, before choking RVD with his boot in the corner, a la Kevin Nash. RVD was then locked in the pretty cool Double Underhook submission hold. RVD kneed his way out of it, but just as the hold was let go, Snitsky clubbed RVD in the back again.
Snitsky missed a corner charge, allowing RVD to knock out a couple of kicks, taking Snitsky down. RVD tried taking Snitsky off his feet, only managing to do so with a spinning heel kick. He went up but missed the kick from there. However, he managed to hit the step-over kick, taking the big man down. RVD called for the Rolling Thunder, but Snitsky rolled out of the way. He charged for the Big Boot, but RVD ducked, Snitsky crotching himself on the rope. RVD kicked Snitsky the rest of the way out to the floor.
However, after stopping to mug for the crowd, when RVD followed Snitty out, he ran right into a hard clothesline. Snitsky charged over the officials area, grabbed a chair, charged back around the ring and smacked RVD in the head with it. No really, that was a hard one.
Thoughts - 6/10 – the initial reaction on the message board was that RVD was gonna get buried here, but this was pretty darn OK actually. It's a kind of compliment to RVD that this was the longest match Snitsky has had in ECW yet, never mind the fact that he actually won it, albeit by DQ. It also had something of a logical story too, with Snitsky dominating RVD to begin with RVD coming back leading to Snitsky's frustrations.
They showed a CM Punk video ahead of him appearing, which would be...
CM Punk def. Stevie Richards in a "Stevie must be fed up with all these TV appearances by now..." match
...right after the break, as CM Punk came out, with some HEAVILY taped ribs. Seriously, much more, and I'd have been calling it a corset. We recapped last week as Burke was given credit for helping to injure Punk's ribs. And when Stevie came out, Joey even managed to call him an Original. Well, there's a space in that unit now, although I think their push has long since sailed...
Punk went on the attack with a series of kicks, before hitting an exploder suplex for a 1 count. However, Richards countered a whip with a knee to the gut. Richards then tore at the tape on Punk's ribs, exposing them before putting the boots to the injured area. Richards continued to work on the back, before putting Punk in a Bow & Arrow hold. Punk got out of it though with a couple of surprise 2 counts. However a sunset flip attempt was blocked by Richards who hit a double-foot stomp on Punk's chest for 2.
Richards went for an abdominal stretch, but Punk hiptossed out of it. Richards crotched himself on a corner charge, allowing Punk to hit his kicks in the corner to Richards's back, before hitting a neckbreaker for 2. Punk hit the high knee in the opposite corner, but the bulldog was pushed off before Richards hit a front dropkick to Punk's chest Richards went for a Tornado DDT out of the corner, but Punk blocked it and with Richards on his shoulders hit the Go To Sleep for the three count.
Thoughts - 7/10 - Pretty good stuff here. Once again, a logical story with Richards going after the ribs, but with Punk able to make a comeback. Nothing spectacular, but pretty good stuff all round.
Talk about hung up...
The New Breed, as is, were showing watching the monitors. Burke wondered if the other two were ready for their match later against Lashley. Cor Von said he came to ECW to dominate, especially Lashley. Striker tried to talk, but Burke cut him off, saying that he had the stench of losing to the Major brothers. Striker tried to point out it was 2 weeks ago, but Burke continued on. He said that until Striker got his head clear, he didn't want to hear a word from him, and that on Sunday, he would destroy Punk.
Kevin Thorn def. Nunzio in a "Sabu's loss..." match
And the former New Breed member came out after the break for the most controversial match of the week, since this was the match that Sabu was going to be in before he got his sorry ass canned yesterday. However, while Thorn made his way out, the forgotten East Coast-based Italian of the WWE, Nunzio, got himself some TV time by being introduced as Thorn's
The locked up, but Thorn powered Thorn into the corner, before laying stomps and punches on Nunzio. Nunzio made a comeback, hitting a jawbreaker, but Thorn came right back., hitting something of a turning powerbomb out of the corner. Thorn scored a 2 count. In the ropes, Thorn continued to pound on Nunzio, before hitting a flapjack for 2. Thorn locked in a sleeper, but Nunzio made it back to his feet. However, he came off the ropes, only to be picked up and dumped in the corner by the Vampire. However, a corner charge missed, with Thorn tangling himself with the ropes. This allowed Nunzio to kick away at Thorn's leg, even taking him off his feet, before getting a second rope dropkick for 2. However, Thorn hoisted Nunzio and onto the ropes, hitting the Dark Kiss for the win.
Thoughts - 6/10 - Nunzio played his role well, but I really enjoyed the aggression from Thorn. It was certainly a level up form what he normally has, and he actually looked like a man with a point to prove out there, be it in a kayfabe sense (as Joey sold it as) or not.
Part 1 of an ongoing series - "Things to see and/or do while Extreme Expose are on..."
Indeed. I'm just as fed up of the Slutty Nitro Girls as you are. The only time I'm ever going to possibly like them is on RAW (and presumably the other shows) when they are part of the Timbaland video that premieres next week.
So instead of talking about them anymore, I'm going to plug or talk about something else. This week, Robot Chicken. it has to be said, I've only really just started watching it, but it's the best thing going today. So, please indulge me by enjoying this episode of <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=24d2MZtPr2o""Hogan's Heroes"...
(By the way, if you care to complain about me not doing Extreme Expose, please feel free to e-mail me, marking your e-mail "I watch a wrestling show totally for the piss-poor dancing")
Every time I near "No Touch", I can't help but think of Arrested Development...
Anyway, after another recap of what happened last night, it was time for another promo. However, this time, it was the turn of the protagonist of the situation, Lashley, to cut one. Promo that is. I just told you. Jeez... Anyway, Bobby said that at Judgment Day, there wouldn't be any "No Touch" rule, so he could do what he wanted to Vince & his boys. Also, tonight, when looking at the New Breed, he wouldn't be seeing them, he'd be seeing Vince, Shane & Umaga instead. He said he'd destroy both groups, and on Sunday he'd take back his ECW belt.
Joey & Taz(z) went over the title matches and ECW's other contribution to the PPV card.
Bobby Lashley def. The New Breed (Elijah Burke, Marcus Cor Von & Matt Striker) in a "He must be used to this 3 on 1 malarkey by now..." match
The New breed came out first, as we saw that Striker had his knee quite heavily taped. The New Breed stood their ground as Lashley made his way into the ring. Joey put across that Vince really wasn't anywhere to be seen as they had broken the No Touch rule, and so Lashley could get him if he wanted to. Burke started out for his team, but that proved to be a mistake when a headlock was pushed off, Lashley knocking Burke down. Lashley then picked Burke up and held him in a suplex for about 8 to 10 seconds before dropping him down. Burke scrambled to his corner and tagged in Cor Von. Marcus came in and they had a staredown. And suddenly, I want to see Lashley vs. Cor Von on top of the ECW brand.
They locked up, with neither giving a step. Lashley went behind, but Cor Von got out of it. Cor Von ran at Lashley but he leap-frogged him, hitting Marcus with a shoulder block on his way back. Cor Von went into his corner, where Striker tagged himself in. However, he wasn't all that successful, as Lashley took it to Striker. Matthew was dumped to the outside, with Lashley knocking Burke off the apron as the New Breed leader berated his charge. However, Cor Von came in from behind and clubbed Lashley in the back. Cor Von whipped Lashley off the ropes, and although he tried to avoid it, Lashley was hit with The Pounce, sending Bobby over the top rope. Cor Von rolled Lashley back in the ring, and Burke went for a pin, but Lashley kicked out at 2. The New Breed...well, Burke & Cor Von, went to work on Lashley. Lashley fought out of a Cor Von chinlock, but was hit with a back suplex for 2. Burke tagged in and hit a diving fist drop for 2. Elijah put on a ground-abdominal stretch, but Lashley fought his way out, hitting an overhead suplex. Cor Von came back in and was punched away. Cor Von stumbled back into his corner, where he tagged Striker in. Caught unawares by the tag, Lashley pulled Striker in, hitting a spear in the corner, before hitting a great one-armed spinebuster. Burke & Cor Von stood on and watched as the sacrificial lamb that was Matt Striker was hit with a big spear for the Lashley win.
Thoughts - 7.5/10 - First of all, it's good that Lashley didn't run roughshod over the New Breed. Both burke & Cor Von got the chance to dominate over him, which sets them up as future opponents. Very interesting angle with Striker being sent out there to die on the New Breed's behalf and yet, Burke (and Cor Von, to an extent) being pissed that the outcome didn't go any other way.
After the match, Striker crawled out the ring to get some more berating, while Lashley stared them down.
OVERALL - 7/10 (+ 1 on last week) - Yeah, this was a pretty decent show overall. Decent action in all the matches, with RVD even dragging “watchable” out of Snitsky. If they are indeed planning on having Snitsky challenge for any title, never mind John Cena’s, as has been reported, then he needs to work many more matches like that one. And hell, if it wasn’t for the fact that the PPV’s are all-inclusive nowadays, you’d could just about put together a card for ONS with ECW itself. I mean, screaming at me right now is Cor Von vs. Lashley, Burke vs. Striker and RVD vs. Snitsky on the former’s way out. Throw in a Punk match and a Thorn match and something involving Sandman & Dreamer (if not part of any Punk/Thorn doings) and you’d have a pretty full card.
OR, you can find me along with the rest of the dribbling masses on MY OWN MYSPACE PAGE!
Well, I’ll be back on Friday for Smackdown, but for now, I believe I’ve fulfilled my contractual obligations. For reading this, and continuing to support World Wrestling Insanity, you’re cooler than the other side of the pillow…
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