Here it is then! Wooooooooo! I bet you
couldn’t wait for this week’s Smackdown.
Well you probably could because it’s not really
something to look forward too after the shambles of
No Mercy. Even if you did, you probably read the spoilers.
Anyway, all I’m trying to say is that my views
in this article are not reflective of WorldWrestlingInsanity.com
or its contributors. Not that they are controversial
or anything, just because I’m a bit thick. Anyway,
the show begins with a video package of No Mercy, focusing
on Taker’s "death" and Eddie’s
new found love of playing nice. Good package overall,
but then again they always do a good job with the video
stuff. I don’t need to explain what happens next,
you know the drill. Crap music with cheesy looking opening
credits. Man I should be out on a Friday night.
Opening Segment
The Ortons come out, and get a lot of
heat from the San Antonio crowd. Not surprising really,
they did burn a fan favourite alive a few days ago.
Cole and Tazz really lay into them for this. Tazz even
goes as far as to say he can still smell the gasoline.
Well have a wash then, you stinky fool. Orton gets in
the ring, and gives us the usual ‘Legend-Killer’
stuff. ‘I killed Taker’, ‘set his
ass on fire’and all that. You get the idea. But
that’s old news, Orton is all about the future.
He says Batista is next on his list, which prompts the
arrival of Batista’s new best friend, Eddie Guerrero.
Guerrero comes out to his cool new music,
and unsurprisingly gets a good reaction from his native
Texan crowd. Eddie plays up to the crowd, and it looks
like even Cole is finally beginning to buy into the
‘New and Improved’ gimmick thingy. Orton
isn’t in a favourable mood though, and he begins
to taunt Eddie about losing at No Mercy. He rips Eddie’s
new found ‘honesty’, saying that if he would
have used the chair like Orton did in his match, he
would have won. He then threatens Eddie with an RKO,
and this leads to a face off. Well not really, Eddie
would need to stand on the middle rope to come close.
Eddie tells Orton’s chest that he wants another
shot at Batista, which then prompts the arrival of ‘The
Animal’.
Batista’s theme hits, and he comes
out looking like one of those crazy oil tycoons. Blue
suit, brown shoes and red glasses. Any more colour co-ordination
and he’d be mistaken for a packet of skittles.
He gets on the mic, and acknowledges that both ‘new’
and ‘old’ friends are present. Batista then
suggests that Eduardo and Randolph go head to head tonight.
The crowd like that, as Batista’s music hits and
then he leaves. Crowd cheers as the usual glaring contests
take place.
Thoughts…
Good opening to the show. Orton was decent
in his promo, and Eddie was good as always. Batista
was limited to not saying much, but that isn’t
a bad move as his in-ring promos are not that great.
I was a little surprised Orton didn’t mention
that Undertaker wasn’t found in the casket, so
a return is inevitable. Logic suggests that he would
know about it by now.
1. Chris Benoit def. Orlando Jordan via submission
Chris Benoit makes his way out, and gets
his usual strong reaction. Orlando comes out and gets
a lot of heat, which is better than the usual non-reaction.
They show the ‘WWE.com exclusive’ that Orlando
promises to quit if he taps to the Crippler Crossface.
(Remember that)
The match begins with both men standing
off, finally locking up. Benoit immediately goes for
the Crossface, but Jordan manages to back off. Surprisingly
to me, he resists any temptation to have a party because
he has lasted 30 seconds. Obviously learnt his lesson
from last time.
Jordan goes on the offensive for longer
than five seconds, which is the first time he’s
done that against Benoit since the Great American Bash.
Benoit keeps reversing into the Crossface, but again
Jordan counters. The match spills to the outside, and
Benoit takes a ride into the steel steps around the
two minute mark. Jordan goes to work on the midsection
of Benoit, but this doesn’t last long as Benoit
escapes an abdominal stretch and connects with some
stinging chops. Benoit hits two Germans (suplexes, not
people) and after Jordan counters another Crossface
attempt, he falls victim to the Sharpshooter and taps
at around the 4.30 mark. Benoit leaves the champion,
and Orlando leaves still in a job.
Thoughts….
Good television match. Jordan actually
looked good, which he hasn’t done for a while.
I liked how this match was focused on the Crossface,
and Orlando showed off some nice counters. Wasn’t
the squash we are used to seeing, but I fear it may
be too little, too late to save Orlando’s credibility.
The fact that he keeps getting title shots does nothing
for him either, or the credibility of the U.S title
for that matter.
The only negative I can think of in this
match is the fact that they showed another ‘WWE.com
exclusive’ beforehand. I no longer feel the need
to visit that site, as I know anything important will
just get shown on TV anyway. Not the way to get hits
on your site, Vince.
2. LOD/Psychosis/Super Crazy def.
MNM/Regal/Burchill via pinfall
LOD are shown backstage before the show
cuts to commercial. Everybody makes their way out to
the ring, apart from Regal and Burchill who are already
there. Melina is stupidly hot as usual. A clip of Christy
Hemme connecting with the Doomsday Device is shown.
I can’t believe I just said that. Hawk must be
so proud.
The match starts with everybody in the
ring, and soon all the heels are thrown to the outside,
leaving the faces to bask in their glory. Not to predictable
then. Psychosis and Mercury begin, with some nice back
and forth action. Nothing special, just paint by numbers
really. Melina gets up on the apron, and in my favourite
moment of the night shows her ass to Psychosis. Hemme
tries to compete on the other side of the ring, and
after a few seconds we are forced to go back to the
action. Damn. A few quick tags, as the heels begin to
isolate Psychosis. Regal, Burchill and Mercury all tag
in and out. Mercury goes for a diving elbow from the
top, but predictably misses and Psychosis manages to
tag out. Animal comes in and cleans house, with the
help of Heidenreich. The ring is cleared, and Super
Crazy gets the tag and connects with a moonsault on
Mercury(?) from the top rope to get the win.
The faces celebrate, but then from nowhere
some randoms attack. The guys look a little bit camp,
but they beat up the Mexicools anyway. They perform
a couple of nice moves, and we go to commercial wondering
who these two are. Peep Show is next.
Thoughts….
Paint by numbers 8-man tag, although it
was very short. I think it benefited from being short
though, and it came off as a decent effort. Blatantly
obvious come the end that it was just used as an introduction
for the new guys. I found it strange though there was
no follow up on this, and we are left to wonder what
the hell is going on.
Peep Show Segment
Cole describes this upcoming edition as
controversial. I suppose it would be if I cared. I don’t
think I’m the only one who doesn’t give
a crap who’s in ‘Star’ magazine or
whatever it is. All I want to see is Stacy. Not have
to hear here. Anyway I digress.
Christian plugs his ‘upcoming’
victory in the fatal four-way elimination match (yeah,
rite…), and introduces Stacy. She looks smoking
hot this week. Probably a bad analogy after the Undertaker
was set alight last week. Oh well.
Christian begins, and calls her a tramp.
He demands answers. The peeps need to know he says.
The tramp is about to speak, when she is interrupted
by Gillian Hall. Gillian comes out, and Tazz comes out
with the same gags he’s been using since her debut.
Still funny though, as his delivery is good. Gillian
trash talks Stacy aswell, saying there is no shame in
losing to Jennifer Anniston. Well I’d say there
is if you go by that magazine image they’ve been
showing all night. Stacy has enough, and asks what’s
up with the mole on Gillian’s face. Gillian goes
mad, but misses with a slap as Stacy grabs her hand.
Stacy goes to slap the mole, but changes her mind and
just knocks Gillian on her surgically ‘enhanced’
ass and we go to another commercial.
Thoughts….
A bit pointless. That’s it really.
Christian must be wondering what the hell he has done
to deserve this. Well he wouldn’t be the only
person thinking that in the WWE this week. Stacy looked
stunning, but she isn’t anything other than eye-candy.
At least she isn’t wearing that stupid Hurricane
mask anymore. If anything screamed filler on tonight’s
show, this was it.
3. Booker T def. Rey Mysterio/JBL/Christian
to become number one contender for the U.S Title
Everybody comes out, only things of note
are that JBL is referred to as ‘Tazz’s man’
(really?) and Rey looks high as a kite. I know he wears
contacts, but his eyes were popping out of his head
this week.
The match begins, and as the WWE norm
they are always broken down into several one on one
matches. Cole mentions the fact that Edge was moaning
about JBL this past week on Raw (unlimited). Some quick
action in the early going, with Mysterio getting a near
fall after a Seated Senton after about a minute. Eventually
JBL and Booker are knocked to the outside, so Christian
and Rey go at it on the inside. Christian takes control,
but Rey begins to counter and goes for a cover. JBL
breaks it up as we go to another commercial.
Action continues with JBL firmly in charge.
He continues to dominate, but after a couple of minutes
is dumped to the outside with Rey after missing a Clothesline
from Hell. Christian and Booker go at it, and Christian
escapes a near fall after a Sunset Flip. Some quick
action involving everybody follows, and eventually Rey
sets Booker T up for the 619 as JBL and Christian are
dumped on the outside. Rey is tripped by Sharmell though,
enabling Booker T to connect with the Scissor Kick and
get the victory. The crowd boo as Booker is oblivious
to what has happened.
We skip backstage, and Benoit confronts
Booker T and Sharmell about the interference. Booker
has no idea what he is on about, and defends his wife.
He quizzes her when Benoit leaves, but she plays him
off saying that Benoit is just scared. Cole talks us
through another replay of the incident.
Thoughts….
Decent match, probably suffered because
of the similar match just a few days before. Nice finish
to set things up for a falling out between Booker and
Sharmell, and at least Christian didn’t job again.
Nice to see JBL competing in this match, as I think
this is his level. Also gives the belt more prestige
when former WWE champions are competing for a shot at
it. Looks like Rey’s push has come to an end though.
Not surprising considering his awful new music.
Ken Kennedy Promo
Mr Kennedy makes his way out to the ring,
in wrestling attire which is a little odd as he isn’t
scheduled for a match on the show. No Mercy gets another
plug, as we are told about his win over Hardcore Holly.
We get the usual ceiling microphone spot, and he gives
his usual speech. He then goes on to say that he doesn’t
have an opponent this week, as everyone is scared. That’s
pretty much it, and he leaves. Cole goes on about his
ego, while Tazz continues his love-fest.
Thoughts….
Short and Sweet. That’s it. This
probably could have been done as a backstage segment,
but they probably needed to kill time. Tazz continues
his ‘love fest’, almost identical to King’s
and Coach’s ‘Masters love-fest’ on
Raw. I guess you’ll have to check out Velocity
this week if you want to see him in action.
4. Bobby Lashley def. Nunzio via pinfall
Lashley comes out, with a slightly different
entrance music this week. He continues to look impressive,
as he deals with Nunzio with ease. Hits a huge belly-to-belly
suplex, and then throws Nunzio over the top rope to
the outside. This was a huge bump. Vito tries to get
involved, which allows Nunzio to land some punches and
kicks. Lashley comes back with a nasty looking backbreaker,
followed by a Dominator to get the pin.
Thoughts….
This had squash match written all over
it. And I wasn’t far wrong. Lashley is being booked
to look like God.
Boogeyman Debut
We go backstage to Theodore Long’s
office. No surprise the Network Guy is there. He questions
about the Boogeyman, to which Theodore looks lost. There
is a knock on the door, and (surprise) Boogeyman makes
his debut. His face is painted like a ladybug, and he
has his front teeth missing. He recites some crazy rhymes,
and smashes a wall clock over his head. Crazy. Long
says he has potential. What? Does that mean I can have
a job is I smash a clock over my head?
Thoughts….
Crazy. That’s it. I was a little
confused by Teddy’s behaviour in this. He didn’t
seem to recall the adverts that were running for months
on ‘his’ show promoting the Boogeyman. Did
he not ever wonder where this guy was? He can’t
have just forgotten. Logic goes out the window yet again.
Main Event – Eddie Guerrero
def. Randy Orton via DQ
Orton comes out with his Dad, and Cole
tells everybody that The Undertaker wasn’t in
that casket that got set alight. Somebody better tell
Randy. Eddie comes out, and again gets a good pop. He
says ‘I’m your Papi’ to Orton as he
walks to the ring. Watch out for that angle in the next
few weeks.
The match begins with the basic lock up,
and ‘Eddie’ chants reign throughout the
arena. Back and forth for the first few minutes, going
at a good pace. Orton then falls into WWE mode, and
we have those rest-holds that we all know and love.
Eddie manages to fight out of them, and he begins to
go back to his cheating roots by using the tag rope
and pokes to the eyes to gain the advantage. Tazz says
that although there are the ‘Mexicools’,
Eddie should be referred to as ‘Mexi-hot’.
I don’t think that is going to sell many t-shirts,
Tazz.
Eddie begins to gain momentum, and goes
for the 3 amigos. Cowboy Bob gets involved, and causes
Eddie to get dropkicked to the outside as we go to another
commercial. The match returns with Orton in control.
Eddie finally manages to hit some more offence, he cannot
capitalise on a backbreaker. Eddie runs at Orton, but
Orton ducks and he is whiplashed into the ropes. Orton
begins to look frustrated as the fight spills to the
outside. Both men exchange smashes on the announce table,
and the fight spills back inside the ring to break the
referee’s count. Orton locks in another sleeper,
and Cowboy Bob prevents Eddie from reaching the ropes.
Eddie finally gets to his feet, and he connects with
the 3 amigos. He signals that the end is near, and he
makes his way to the top rope. Cowboy Bob gets involved
again, and at the second attempt pushes Eddie from the
top rope and the referee calls for the bell.
The Ortons begin to beat on Eddie, until
Batista comes down to make the save. The crowd cheer
as he helps Eddie up and the ‘new amigos’
look on at the Ortons. Rodney Mack’s music hits,
and his manager Teddy comes out! And next week we are
going to see Batista and Eddie take on the Orton’s
as ‘their friendship is put to the test’.
Exciting. Orton says ‘fuck’ on camera, and
we fade to black. So much for censorship.
Thoughts….
Decent enough match, and the finish left
the window open for a rematch somewhere down the line.
Teddy dropped a hint about ‘friendships’
being put to the test, so maybe next week we will see
some sort of development in the Batista/Eddie situation.
I like this ‘feud’, if you can call it that,
and I’m interested to see where it goes next.
Orton’s title push is put on hold for a little
while longer.
Overall….
A decent show, the best Smackdown for
a while. Although there have been better individual
segments on past shows, the whole product just had a
better feel to it this week. I think maybe No Mercy
was a kick up the ass for Vince, and he may actually
put some effort into the #2 show now. I wouldn’t
hold my hopes up though.
Got
an opinion on Smackdown? Want to tell Jim what you thought?
Stop by the Message
Boards and let your voice be heard.
