The Heat Report: Hacksaw Tyme vs. The World's Greatest Tag Team and N
By Saad Naeem
Hio Heaterinos! Hope you had a great week cause I sure did. Unfortunately, the same canít be said about Sabu and Vito. Bye Bye Birdies, we wish you all the best in your future endeavors. I canít believe they fired Sabu before Sandman! I lost a bet mind you. WWE you owe me 10 bucks. But guess who else got the pink slip very recently? Ariel, Nicky of the Spirit Squad and Scotty 2 Hotty. Oh My God! After all these years of hanging in there as a jobber, they finally let Scotty go! Thatís just terrible. I personally wish Scotty the best of luck in anything and everything he does in the future. As for the other two? Well you be the judge of whether that was a right decision or not. But where one door closes another one opens. This one just happens to be labeled Rated R. Iím so happy Edge is back on top baby! After his first and second very short title reigns this talented man really deserves a long run as the champion. As much as I love Kennedy, I really hope that Edge stays champ for quite some time.
Anyways, itís time for Heat too. But ehh whatís the point? Why donít they just discontinue it? I mean are they really accomplishing anything with Heat? Itís the same old stuff every week. Thereís no story line, no reason behind the matches and Jobbertown, USA. But hey I gots a job to do so letís get to it.
Match 1: Viscera vs. Eugene
The ever comical Eugene wastes no time in taunting his ginormous opponent. Eugene starts the match by imitating Visceraís sexy time dance. Obviously that ticks off the worldís largest love machine who takes the little man in the corner. Eugene tries to run away but Vis is just too big to get past by. Viscera takes it to poor Eugene in the early going of the match real hard. Eugene spends most of his time on the mat as Vis nails a super scoop slam. He steps on and over Eugene and slams him with an elbow and then an elbow drop. Vis tries to squash Eugene in the corner but he moves out the way. Mometum almost shifts but Vis catches a big boot to the face. Then it happens. Eugene Hulks up! Rights and lefts, clotheslines and elbows and a huge flying clothesline knocks the big man off his feet. Goes for the cover and gets a two. But Vis comes back with the Whirlwind Drop (Black Hole Slam) for the win.
Not a shabby match to being Heat. Viscera can eat anyone or anything and he proved that once again tonight.
Edge vs. Batista is the Main Event for Judgement Day. See it. Itís gonna be the start of one great rivalry. But why the hell didnít the beat the crap out of each other at the end of Smackdown?
Match 2: The Highlanders vs. Phil Brow & Wayne Kostyal
Good to see that The Highlanders have recovered from the ass kicking they got from Umaga last week. Well their opponents this week are a scrawny white guy in red tights and a built black guy in black tights. Red starts things off with Robbie. A bit of wrestling and a Vito-ish move starts things off. Yup, Robbie stuck his head up his kilt. Not really the view he wanted of Scotland Iím guessing. Or maybe he does? I mean thereís nothing wrong with that if he does. Robbie scoop slams Phil and then scoop slams his partner Rory on top of the fallen jobber. Tag made and Rory headbutts away on Red. Robbie back in with stiff European uppercuts. A double hiptoss and a double headbutt follows. Red manages to run away and give the tag to Wayne. Wayne comes in strongÖbut messes up an attempted neckbreaker. He launches Rory into Wayne and then Rory does the same to Robbie. Rory then nails a knee to the crotch on Wayne but missed an elbow drop. That is enough to get the tag to Phil. Phil nails an axe handle smack off the top rope and the jobbers start working on Roryís arm. This goes on for a while but then Robbie gets the hot tag. He lets the jobber bodies hit the floor and flapjacks red on black. Then Rory gets the tag and both the Highlanders hit the Scot Drop for the win.
Winners: The Highlanders
Eh, that was too long for Heat. Jobbers = less than 3 minute matches. Why are you wasting my time Heat? But whatever, Highlanders got the win and they deserved it.
Get Wrestlemania 23 The Limited Edition on DVD. Itís Wrestlemanierrific.
Segement: Khali Kills
This is basically a replay of Cenaís speech that kicked off Raw and of course the Indian gulley ass kicking that resulted thereafter. Khali killed him on Raw but we all know that John Cena is gonna do the seemingly impossible at Judgment Day when he picks the giant up and gives him the FU. Resulting in of course, a victory for one John Cena.
Match 3: Cryme Tyme & Hacksaw Jim Duggan vs. The Worldís Greatest Tag Team & Johnny Nitro
Here we go! Aside from Duggan this match is filled with a lot great potential. Everyone involved (well mostly Johnny Nitro and Shelton Benjamin) has the ability to be a shining star for the WWE in the future. But thatís still yet to come. Right now, theyíre on Heat. So letís get to it. Nitro out first rocking the grey fur while WGTT emerge in matching duds. On the other hand, Duggan and Cryme Tyme are quite the oxymoronic team. Nitro and Duggan start things off. Hacksaw in early control with some clotheslines but Nitro nails him with a great dropkick. Tag made to Haas who takes a few shots before JTG is sent in. JTG hits him with a seated Senton off the second rope (much like Rey Mysterio) and gets the two after a spinning elbow. Haas gets dropkicked out the ring which brings in his partners, which brings in Shad Gaspard who scares them out the ring too.
We head to ďbreakĒ and a John Cena hype up video plays. Okay that was great timing?
Back from break and JTG drop toe holds Haas but Haas backs him into the heel corner. Charles distracts the referee while his teammates have their way with JTG. TG gets kicked to hell from a Shelton Benjamin kick and control completely shifts. Haas beats him down in the corner and then tags Shelton. Benjamin comes in by scoop slamming the Cryme Tymer on Haasí knee. Shelt pounds away and nails another hard kick for the two count. Nitro comes in and nails a neckbreaker for the two count as well. He lays in some and locks in a modified camel clutch. JTG comes back with a shot to the jaw of Johnny Nitro but the tag is made to Haas again. Haas picks up where Nitro left off with the submission. That is ended and Charlie hits a huge German suplex. Tag to Benji who too locks in the same submission (wth) and JTG hits a DDT to finally get on the offense. Tag made to Shad who starts cleaning house All three men taken out with back drops and powerslams. Snake eyes into a powerful clothesline take down Benji. Cover gets broken up by his terammates. JTG and Hacksaw get rid of them as Cryme Tyme hit the G-9 on Shelton for the win.
Winners: Cryme Tyme & Hacksaw Jim Duggan
Alright main event. For the talent in the ring it was highly unutilized. They spent too much time on the mat. None high flying stuff that Nitro and Shelton are capable of on display here. However, the ending was climactic and worth a watch.
Heat was boring. Although the star power of the main event was of high class (at least by Heat standards) they did not live up to their name. The first two matches were really, well yuk. And the main event got better in the concluding minutes. So if anything, see the main event. Donít waste your time on the other two matches.
That just about does it for me. If you have any suggestions, comments or criticisms then please do tell. Send me an e-mail at Naeem920@gmail.com. Or hit me up with a PM at the Insanity Message Boards. The username is Naeem920.
See you Thursday night with the Impact Report.
Until then I'm Saad Naeem and that was Heat.
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