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UFC: The Ultimate Fighter 5 - Mallory's Recap of Episode 8

By Mallory Mahling
May 24, 2007, 23:11


The quarter finals will begin with this week's episode. Of course, that's assuming Coaches Penn and Pulver can agree on the match-ups. A brawl in the backyard will also spice things up.

Last week, B.J. Penn kicked Andy Wang off his team for, among other things, bad karma. Penn contended that Wang was the reason his team had been on such a losing streak. Team Pulver took in whiney crybaby Wang, who was a bit lacking in gratitude, and the previously dominant Team Pulver lost its next two matches. B.J. may have had a point.

* * *

At the quarterfinal meeting, Dana White sat B.J. Penn and Jens Pulver down and hoped for the best, all things considered. All three wrote down their picks; however, Jens believed Dana and B.J. were conspiring against him. Dana said he was afraid B.J. and Jens were going to start fighting. Weary of the bickering, Dana made his picks and announced them to the fighters.

- Joe Lauzon vs. Cole Miller

- Gray Maynard vs. Brandon Melendez

- Nate Diaz vs. Corey Hill

- Matt Wiman vs. Manny Gamburyan

The bar was open back at the house and the guys were lapping up the sauce.

Marlon Sims and Noah Thomas were stirring the pot, which was about to boil over. With Allen Benrube acting as referee, Marlon and Noah threw down. Marlon got a bloody nose when Noah kicked him in the face. Marlon the Streetfighter got whiney and was headed into the house. Noah offered to shake his hand, but Marlon cheap-shotted him. Marlon admitted he was "three sheets to the wind." Noah had a cut on the back of his head, but he offered to shake again and they decided to finish it later.

With the fight over, Marlon went right back to his boasting, saying he felt he'd gotten to showcase some of his moves. (Geez, it was a drunken brawl. What moves?) In a foreshadowing moment, Noah hoped they'd both be able to stay on the show and not get booted off.

The next day, they were all in the kitchen cooking when Dana showed up and asked them to gather around. Uh oh. He said he'd seen a tape of what had happened last night and was disgusted.

Dana was very disappointed. He said he'd been trying for years to show that the sport was not what people in the real world think it is all about. He said they'd acted like a bunch of f'n kids and they'd been egged on by the others. Noah, Marlon, Benrube were summarily kicked off the show.

Noah and Allen were contrite as they packed their bags.

Marlon said he was too old and wise for this bunch anyway. (Buh bye. And don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out.)

Okay, with one group of "fighters" dealt with, it was time to train for the real fight of the evening. Joe Lauzon was feeling confident and eager.

At the weigh in, Dana said he thought Cole might have the better chance, although both had their strengths.

On fight day, Miller said he felt like he was the underdog. Lauzon was hoping to get it over quickly.

(1) Cole Miller vs. Joe Lauzon. Round one went to the ground right away with Cole dominating. Lauzon was countering everything coming his way. Dana said it had been a busy first round.

Round two went to the mat again. Back and forth it went. Joe had Cole's ankle, then the referee stopped the match after Cole was struck in the back of the head with an illegal elbow. He took one point away from Joe and asked Cole if he felt he could continue. He seemed woozy, but wanted to continue. The fight resumed from a standing position, but it went back to the ground where Joe had Cole's back and threw punches while Cole covered his head. The referee stopped the fight and Lauzon was declared the winner.

Dana said he could tell when someone was faking, and Cole was not faking; he was really hurt. After Cole got hit with the illegal elbow, he hadn't been the same fighter.

There was no animosity; Cole said he knew Joe was not a dirty fighter and Joe said he hadn't wanted to win that way.

Dana cautioned Cole to never fight when he was hurt. He was anything but a wuss and had nothing to prove.

In a voice over as he was put in an ambulance, Cole said he hoped he'd get another chance to fight. (I think he probably will, since Dana seemed impressed with his resolve.)

Next week: Gray gets help from Randy Couture and Brandon and Jens have words. Yes, those kind of words.

* * * * *


Winners of Quarter Final Matches:

Joe Lauzon (Beat Cole Miller)


Winners of Preliminary Matches:

Nate Diaz (Beat Rob Emerson)

Brandon Melendez (Beat Andy Wang)

Manuel Gamburyan (Beat Noah Thomas)

Cole Miller (Beat Allen Berube)

Joe Lauzon (Beat Brian Geraghty)

Corey Hill (Beat Rob Emerson)

Matt Wiman (Beat Marlon Sims)

Gray Maynard (Beat Wayne Weems)

The Lo-Down With D-Lo Brown!

Ivory's Smack Talk

Kevin Kelly's Big Picture

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