The Impact Report: Joe Kills Sting; Team 3D and The Steiners Give a History Lesson
By Saad Naeem
T-N-A! T-N-A! Today tomorrow or when you are sorrow, TNA is the way to play. Last week the King of the Mountain Qualifiers started with Kurt Angle being the first to advance into the match. Tonight we are set for Sting vs. Samoa Joe. This is a match of epic proportions and one of the biggest main events in Impact history. You don’t wanna miss this!
Video package recapping the events and developments of last week.
Don West and Mike Tenay hype up the main event, Joe vs. Sting.
TNA Theme Song Plays
We never put any of your female relatives through tables, so what’s with the attitude?
Officially kicking off the show this week are the TNA tag team champions, Team 3D. They come to the ring rockin’ the new belts which look just as great as the other new straps. Brother Ray calls out the Steiner Brothers and they immediately comply. First and foremost, Ray tells them that it is a pleasure to being in the same ring with a team as great as The Steiner Brothers. Ray admits had it not been for them, there would be no Team 3D. He asks the fans to give the Steiners the standing ovation they deserve and the audience couldn’t agree more. They get to their feet and applaud The Steiner legacy. But Scott replies that he doesn’t care for Ray’s opinion of the team nor does he care about the fans. He already knows how great they are. Then he takes some shots at Team 3D and says they lack a legacy. Rick and Scott were the first ever WCW Tag Team Champions for a reason. And if he recalls correctly, while The Steiners were in WCW, Team 3D wasn’t even on the roster. A “3D sucks” chant begins in the audience. Steiner and his brother defended their titles around the world. They were even IWGP Tag Team Champions in Japan, where they wrestled in the Tokyo Dome in front of 60,000 people. On the other hand, Team 3D wrestled in the Bingo Hall. Steiner even said 3D’s legacy didn’t mean sh!t. Rick Steiner literally pulls out a list of all the teams the Steiner Brothers have beaten, and needless to say it is quite long.
After enduring the verbal attack, Team 3D gets an opportunity to speak. Brother Ray wants to know why the Steiners are so mad. What did we ever do to you? We actually like you and respect you. Devon takes a mic and says he didn’t like the treatment they were getting for putting the Steiner Brothers on a pedestal. The Steiners have beaten lots of legendary teams; but not 3D. To this, Scott challenged them to a match at Slammiversary. Steiner said they would kick Team 3D's ass bad. Brother Ray replies that he hopes they do just that. So when it’s all over, Team 3D can say they took everything from the Steiner Brothers and then beat them.
Saddlebags, a Goat Beard and the Former Champ
In the back Leticia is with the former world’s champ Christian Cage and Tomko. Leticia says that Tomko said that Christian said that he wanted to do more tag team wrestling from now on. Cage replies by saying that she’s fat. He calls her “saddlebags” and points out that Jim Cornette is out to get him. Tomko calls him the former champ and Cage asks him to take that back. Tomko doesn’t and teases that he might know who Cage’s KOTM Qualifier opponent might be. When Cage asks who, Tomko reminds him of the title shot he was promised and walks away.
Memorable Slammiversary Moment: On June 19, 2005 Raven won the King of the Mountain Match to become the new NWA world’s heavyweight champion. He was a bloody mess but stood tall.
A video package recapping the “feud” between Christy Hemme and VKM is played.
He doesn’t wear wifebeaters just because they’re cool
In the back, Jeremy Borash is standing by with Kip James and Lance Hoyt. They give an update on BG James’ condition after the ass kicking he received at the hands of Basham and Damaja. James is not here tonight, but fear not he will be back next week. So tonight Hoyt gets to step up cause TNA management has been holding him back. Hoyt thanks VKM for the opportunity they have given him and he gives Christy Hemme the warning that he’s not afraid to hit a girl.
Match 1: Damaja & Basham vs. Kip James & Lance Hoyt
Sort of a ppv rematch with one different combatant. Christy Hemme looks absolutely sizzling tonight as she accompanies her men to the ring. Kip and Basham start things off with Kip is in early control. However, the tide is quickly turned when the blind tag was made by Damaja. They take it to the VKMer the whole match with frequent tags. They wore down Kip James but he lasted in there as long as he could. When it looked like things things were going in Kip’s favor, Christy grabbed his leg. This set off Hoyt who picked up Christy and carried her away. Kip was left in a one on two situation and did not last long. Damaja hit him with an inverted atomic drop and Basham picks up the victory with a running leg lariat takedown for the win.
Winners: Damaja & Basham
We get Samoa Joe’s thoughts about his match against Sting. He is very intense and says that he had no direction or purpose in TNA for a while. But now the King of the Mountain Match has given him a golden opportunity. Tonight it’s gonna be nothing but action and because Sting is in his way, he is gonna break him in half. Joe ends it by telling Sting that tonight, It’s Showtime.
Memorable Slammiversary Moment: The first ever TNA event took place on June 9, 2002. It was Slammiversary and it was Ken Shamrock that won the main event to become the first ever NWA-TNA World’s Heavyweight Champion.
Roode Dude in a World Title feud?
Borash is interviewing Robert Roode. Rob takes this time to throw his hat into the King of the Mountain match as he believes himself to be the top dog in TNA. Roode said that he will be the next TNA World’s Heavyweight Champion. No one is gonna stop him. Not Kurt Angle, not Sting or Joe and especially not Jeff Jarrett. Then he addresses Eric Young and gives him one week to answer his attorney’s call. Or else…
I kiss and tell
Kurt is asked about the King of the Mountain Match and tonight’s main event. Angle says he, Sting and Joe would do anything to get a title shot. Hit people with chairs, hit them with bats or put innocent women in submission holds. But the difference between them is that Kurt admits to it while the other two don’t. That’s why he’s lost respect gor them both.
Match 2: Christian Cage & Tomko vs. LAX
Konnan comes out with LAX but he is carrying crutches. Hernandez and Cage start things off. Surprisingly, LAX who take it to the former World’s Champion at the beginning of the match with lots of double teams. After enduring some, Cage makes the tag to Tomko. Tyson comes in strong and takes out Homicide. He hits Tomko with some punches but they have no effect. In return, Tomko hits a fall away slam on Homicide as Hector Guerrero and Konnan exchange a few words on the outside. Tomko connects with a running powerslam but Homicide doesn’t stay down. Blind tag made by Hernandez after which LAX hits a phenomenal double team. Cage was hit with a slingshot, then a shoulderbutt which landed him on Hernandez’s knees. That is followed by a senton splash. Good stuff. Following that is a throwaway choke slam by Hernandez when Cage tried for a roll up. Meanwhile on the outside, Konnan pushes Hector Guerrero so Homicide leaves the ring to assist him. This allowed Tomko to hit Hernandez with a boot and then a hard hard clothesline. Cage escaped a Border Toss and connected with a Frog Splash for the win.
Winners: Christian Cage & Tomko
After the match, LAX take it to Hector Guerrero. Konnan chokes him with his crutches. But being the brother of the late great Eddie Guerrero, he’s got that Latino temper. He gets in the ring and wants to fight. However, when Rhino and Chris Harris comes out to assist him LAX chose to fight another night and retreated.
Match 3: Samoa Joe vs. Sting
Time for a tremendous main event. Joe vs. Sting, needless to say is a dream match and tonight it takes place for a chance to take part in the King of the Mountain Match. However, the fans were divided on who to root for. But you could hear a “Joe’s Gonna Kill You” chant along with a Let’s Go Sting. The match started off dead even as both men blocked each other’s finisher. Joe escaped the Scorpion Death Lock and Sting did the same with the Kokina Clutch. Joe gained control of the match with some swift punches as Christopher Daniels makes his way to the ring. Sting misses with a Stinger Splash but Joe connects with an enziguri. Sting asks Daniels to go to the back. Daniels does not comply and Joe capitalizes. He takes it to Sting and stretches him out on the mat. Sting fights back but gets taken down for a two count with a leg lariat. Joe proceeds to apply a crossface type move but Sting fights out. He gets hit with an elbow drop but comes back and connects with the Scorpion Death Drop. Daniels distracts the ref and tosses Sting the bat. Sting refuses to use it and these underhanded tactics tick him off. He goes over to the apron and pushes off Fallen Angel. Daniels does take this too kindly and gets some revenge and clocks Sting in the back with the baseball bat. This allows Joe to capitalize who connects with a Samoan Drop for the win.
Winner: Samoa Joe
After the match we are told that AJ Styles will face off against Jeff Jarrett in a King of the Mountain Qualifier next week.
Adrenaline Rush video highlighting tonight’s events and developments
Yay! Great to see Sting finally putting over younger talent. First he lets Joe be the shining star by losing the qualifier match. This is awesome for Joe cause now the Samoan Submission Match gets a title shot. Afterwards, the switch is finally lit for the Sting and Daniels rivalry. This is going to do wonders for Daniels career as it propels him into main event status. The Fallen Angel finally gets to feud with a top notch main eventer and if Sting continues to be so generous then I see great things for Daniels in the future.
The Team 3D and The Steiner Brothers rivalry is gonna be quite the battle. These two really are legendary teams in their own respects and 4 tough ass men. The encounters between these duos will be remembered for a long time. Looking forward to when they get to beat the crap out of each other. And is it just me or does Rick Steiner look a lot like Goldberg?
Next week’s KOTM Qualifier will be awesome. Styles and Jarrett are two contrasting styles who I’m sure will put on a great match. However, Jeff Jarrett is going through some tough times nowadays. If you haven’t heard as of yet, Jeff Jarrett’s wife passed away this past week. Regardless of what you think about the man, this is a great tragedy and I express my deepest condolences to him. Losing a loved one is a terrible punishment in itself, but when you lose your life companion, it’s even worse. My sympathies are with you Jeff.
I guess that just about does it for me. If you have any suggestions, comments or criticisms then please do tell. My new e-mail address is Saad@WorldWrestlingInsanity.com. Write me up and let me know what you think. Or you can hit me up with a PM at the Insanity Message Boards. The username is Naeem920.
See you back here in a day or two with The Heat Report.
Until then I'm Saad Naeem and that was Impact.
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