The Heat Report: Shelton vs. Santino and The Triumphant Return of Chuck Palumbo
By Saad Naeem
Hi everybody and welcome back to another edition of the Heat Report. Tonight we’ve got a huge Heat in store for us as the Intercontinental Champion stops by! Yup, Santino Marella is in the house and he’s gonna take on Shelton Benjamin in the main event. Also, tonight we see the long awaited re-debut of Chuck Palumbo. He’s been out for a while and I’m sure he’s been itching to get back in the ring. Will we see great things out of him in his first match back? Nothing else really going on in the wrestling world (or in my world for that fact) so let’s just get straight to it.
Match 1: The Highlanders vs. Jeff Michaels & Wyatt Lara
Eh. Recently I have developed a “why don’t you die already” attitude towards Heat so excuse me if I get ticked off from time to time. But yea, the jobbers suck worse than usual. No personality whatsoever. Just some dude in green undies and black tights. Well, black starts things off with Robbie then Rory gets the blind tag. Headbutt followed by a tag back. Robbie hits a dropkick and then scoop slams his opponent. Rory comes in and scoop slams Robbie on the fallen jobber. Wyatt gets up and makes the tag but his partner gets headbutted upon entrance. Then Rory takes his head and rams it in 3 of the 4 corners. Following that is a double headbutt on the grounded jobber. Robbie missed an elbow off the tope and the tide turns. Jeff and Wyatt start beating up Robbie’s arm but he makes the hot tag to Rory. Rory cleans house and makes the tag. The Highlanders hit The Scots Drop for the win.
Winners: The Highlanders
Short, sweet and to the point. Get formula for a jobber match.Highlanders won with ease as was expected.
Celebrate the legacy of Wrestlemania 23 by getting it on DVD.
Match 2: Dan Rodman vs. Eugene
Dan “My name isn’t Daniel Rodimer” Rodman has become a staple on Heat. However, he is yet to be victorious. Will tonight be his night? They’re nice enough to give him an entrance and he looks mad serious. Eugene extends a hand to shake but Danny slaps it away. Eugene tries to scoop slam Rodman but he;s too big and strong to pick up. However, he slams Eugene with ease. Genseter gets choked in the corner but he doesn’t let that get to him. He comes back by shaking his booty. Eugene runs out the ring and continues to taunt his opponent. Hotspot on the ropes but Dan comes back with a hard clothesline. Eugene gets beaten down and then taken in the corner. Choked and a delayed vertical suplex is hit. Dan applies a bear hug and rams Eugene’s back into the turnbuckle. Then he picks up Gene and locks in the bearhug again. Eugene fights out but Roddy hits a cross body for the two count. Then Eugene hulks up and lays it into Rodman. Couple of punches and a scoop slam get a two. However a missed punch results in Dan connecting with a half nelson slam for the win.
Winner: Dan Rodman
Can’t say I’m surprised. Rodman took it to Eugene in this match and had major control throughout. He is shaping up for a push (even if it is on Heat). However, his in ring skills are still kind of stale and he doesn’t really sell moves too well. Regardless, the kid’s got potential.
Saturday Night’s Main Event will take place on June 2nd. But why at 11:30 pm? Isn’t that past The Chain Gang’s bedtime?
Match 3: Chuck Palumbo vs. Charlie Haas
Yup, you read it right. Chuckie P. is finally back on the active roster. However, he’s gotta prove that he can still go. The Chuckster makes his grand entrance on a motorcycle! Yup much like Taker’s American Badass Days. He burns some rubber on top of the ramp (no he did not light a condom on fire) and encircle the ring with the hot rod. A pretty grand entrance indeed. Palumbo is rockin’ long curly hair and dark black tights. From far away he looks like The Great Khali. However, he does seem genuinely happy to be back. The fans are also happy to see him back.
The match begins with a hard clothesline from Chuck. Charles goes for the Italian arm early but eats a shoulderbutt for it. Haas comes back and hotshots Chuck’s arm on the ropes. Following that is a hard ass kick to that appendage. Haas is on a ferocious attack. Palumbo goes for a shoulderbutt in the corner but all he hits is steel post. Armlock is applied by one half of TWGTT for quite a while. Chuckster fights out but Haas locks it in again. Chuck comes back with a hard elbow and an even harder clothesline. A belly to back throw follows for a two count. We get a close up of Haas’s head and he has started bleeding. Palumbo continues the assault with a running boot to the face and then finishes things off with one hell of a new finisher.
Winner: Chuck Palumbo
Great re-debut for Chuckie P. He looked pretty good in the ring. Somewhat ring rusty, but nothing major. Trust me he will be on Raw soon, especially with that entrance.
The American Dream: The Dusty Rhodes Story is still available on DVD
Match 4: Shelton Benjamin vs. Santino Marella
On Heat so fast? Maybe he isn’t in Patterson after all. But truthfully speaking, Heat is not the place for the Intercontinental Champion no matter how much of a rookie he might be. Sure he gets some practice, but all the prestige of the title is certainly downgraded. Anyways, early chain wrestling begins the match but both men are supposedly equals. There is a stalemate. But a knee to the gut changes the mood of the match. Shelton takes it to Santino but gets Judo flipped for it. Action taken into the corner where Shelton Benjamin nails a rough kick to Marella’s knee. Then a low superkick really brings down Santino. A chop block follows and then a modified version of the anklelock. Marella breaks out but is recaptured in a single leg Boston Crab. He hangs in there as Shelt knee drops Marella’s knee for the two count. Shelton kicks the crap out of the Italian Stallion and is just laying in a whooping. Santino counters a chop block and hits an enziguri. Marella comes back with some slow kicks and punches but his leg is giving out on him. Shelt hits with a low dropkick and goes for the Oklahoma roll. But out of no where, Santino reverses and gets the win.
Winner: Santino Marella
That is so unfair. Shelton whooped his ass bad the whole match and out of no where the roll up king strikes again. I’m really not liking Marella. He does deserve to be IC Champ. I mean Shelton tried to carry Santino as best as he could, but Mr. Marella was terrible. He oversold the leg injury and that interefered with his in ring performance. If you can’t put on a decent match with someone as exciting in the ring as Shelton Benjamin, maybe you shouldn’t be the Intercontinental Champion just yet.
Heat was great! Today it was as if I was watching a whole nother show. No Val Venis, no Viscera, no Hacksaw Jim Duggan, etc. This is definitely a good thing. It was great to see Chuckie P. rolling strong again and this Dan Rodman guy is here to stay. As for Marella, regardless of how much he needs to improve in the ring, he’s still the Intercontinental Champion and that automatically means Heat is off limits to him.
That just about does it for me. If you have any suggestions, comments or criticisms then please do tell. Send me an e-mail at my new e-mail address Saad@worldwrestlinginsainty.com. Or hit me up with a PM at the Insanity Message Boards. The username is Naeem920.
See you Thursday night with the Impact Report.
Until then I'm Saad Naeem and that was Heat.
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