Another week, another Smackdown. Boooyah!
Jumping straight in at the deep end reveals that last
week saw the huge announcement that Eddie Guerrero will
team up with his special friend Batista to take on the
Ortons. I bet you couldn’t wait for that one.
Well you are going to have to, because we got some more
business to take care of first, bitch! Namely the U.S
Title, where Mr ‘Intensity’ defends against
Mr ‘UnderTheThumb’! Wow! And it’s
right now!
Nice opening sequence based on the U.S
Title, focusing particularly on Sharmell. I really like
how the WWE does these videos, they are always very
well put together and always can make anything seem
like a big deal. (See the Simon Dean/Lashley video from
SD a couple of weeks back) We also get a slightly new
opening sequence, or at least I think it has changed
slightly anyway. Either that or it’s me going
crazy because it’s nearly 2am and I’ve only
just started this damn review.
We get the usual plugs for the main event,
plus the ‘huge’ Matt Hardy ‘homecoming’.
Wow. Set your VCR’s. Matt Hardy might not actually
lose for once. Cole and Tazz somehow manage to contain
their excitement and begin to discuss the upcoming U.S
Title match as Booker T makes his way to the ring. Sharmell
looks annoying as usual, and her arch nemesis Chris
Benoit comes out to the usual big pop.
Booker T vs. Chris Benoit for
the United States Title
Booker and Benoit shake hands before the
match, to which Sharmell doesn’t look impressed.
The match begins with both men exchanging holds, pretty
much the basic mat style. Nice staredown between the
two after Benoit hiplocks Booker to the mat. It doesn’t
take long for the ‘chop fest’ to begin,
during which Benoit takes control. Booker tries to regain
momentum, but he misses with a kick and gets hung up
on the ropes. He tumbles to the outside. Then the ‘HOLY
SHIT’ moment of the night…….
Note to Chris: Now do you know why it’s
called a suicide dive?
How many times have we seen Benoit do
himself serious damage off of this move? I remember
the guy almost broke his neck (again) when he flew head
first into the barrier at Summerslam 2004. That was
sick. I honestly can’t remember how many times
he has overshot this or just plain landed on his face.
But it’s enough times to put you off doing it,
or so you would think. But not this crazy cucumber.
Oh no. This time Benoit flies between the ropes, pretty
much over Booker T’s head, spins in mid air and
manages to smash into the announce table tailbone first.
We cut to commercial as Tazz and Cole try to clean the
shit from their pants.
The match continues upon return, with
Booker T working on the back of Benoit. Chris makes
a couple of attempts to comeback, but all are thwarted.
Booker connects with a suplex, and Benoit looks in agony.
Then again he always does. Booker continues to work
away at the back, and he connects with a backbreaker
before scoring a near fall. The crowd begin to chant
for Chris, and he soon manages to escape a rear chinlock
and change the momentum of the match. Benoit manages
to hit the triple German, whilst still selling his back.
He climbs to the top rope, and connects with a diving
headbutt which gets a near fall. Both men struggle to
their feet, and Booker gains the advantage and heads
to the top rope. Benoit catches Booker, and sets him
up on the top rope for a suplex. Both guys slip on the
top ‘mid-move’, and to be honest are lucky
to get away with it. The superplex prompts Sharmell
to get a chair, but Benoit spots her. The referee is
distracted, and as Benoit turns his back Sharmell hits
him with a low blow, allowing Booker to hit the scissor
kick and get the pinfall. Booker T has no idea about
Sharmell, and both celebrate their newly won U.S Title.
Cole throws a hissy fit and we go to commercial.
Winner: Booker T
Thoughts….
Good match. They are keeping the Sharmell
thing going, and although she is mighty annoying it
is interesting to see where they are going to go from
here. Will Booker T turn against her? Or will he turn
heel? I just hope they have a decent build-up to the
inevitable rematch, as opposed to just having it as
a throwaway on next week's show. Benoit should probably
see a doctor after that bump. The term ‘crash
and burn’ has never been more fitting.
Backstage
We get Booker and Sharmell celebrating
in the back. Benoit confronts Booker T, who still has
no idea about his wife’s interference. Sharmell
shouts him down and calls him a sore loser. Booker T
should really watch some tapes.
We cut to Teddy Long, standing with a
few ‘scary’ looking security guys. Well
they aren’t scary, but they are supposed to be.
He plugs the Raw appearance, and we cut somewhere else.
This time it’s the medical room, and Cowboy Bob
is in pain. Did he fall off his horse? Nobody knows,
all we know is that he can’t compete tonight.
What a shame. Orton has the choice to find another partner
or wrestle by himself. If I were Randy, I’d get
on the lookabout.
Now it’s JBL’s turn. He’s
with Josh Matthews, who asks him about Edge’s
promise to show up this week. JBL says he ‘doesn’t
do charity work’. (that’s not nice) He also
calls Raw the ‘B –Team’. He says he
isn’t to blame for the clip of his entrance being
played on this week’s Raw, but he goes ahead and
threatens Edge anyway. I’d hide Jillian away,
that mole wouldn’t stop Edge.
Up next? Matt Hardy. Excited? Me neither.
Matt Hardy vs. Simon Dean
Simon Dean’s entrance is so cool.
I want one of those Dean machines. He goes to cut one
of the usual ‘fatty’ promos, but Hardy slaps
him in the chops. Mattpummels away, and forces him to
the outside where he follows with a dive over the top.
Dean gets back into the ring, and manages to distract
the referee with his fitness bag. He hits Hardy with
his cast as Hardy comes off of the top rope. Simon Dean
mounts some offence for a short while, but eventually
Hardy fights back. Matt connects with all three of his
trademark moves, and pins Simon for the win. Pretty
basic stuff.
Winner: Matt Hardy
Thoughts….
Decent match, probably could have used
a more credible opponent than the community jobber if
they wanted to make Hardy look like a top tier player.
But they probably don’t so it’s all gravy.
Cole says Hardy is ready to take it to the next level.
Then he remembers he only beat Simon Dean.
The camera cuts outside to find…..Steve
Romero. He plugs the Raw issue again. Cole reminds is
that the JBL/Rey rubber match is next.
JBL vs. Rey Mysterio
Both guys make their entrances and Cole
plays up the Edge situation. I don’t think there
was any way that they could have made it more blatant
that something was going to happen during this match.
We get the usual Rey dodging JBL stuff, but JBL finally
catches him and begins to take control. Rey fights back,
but cannot connect with a DDT from the top rope. Mysterio
connects with a hotshot though, but soon enough gets
smacked by Jillian’s almighty clipboard. This
distracts him long enough for JBL to send him flying
into the barrier. Layfield again regains control, and
connects with a big fall away slam inside the ring.
The action slows down to a more submission based style,
which prompts the mole jokes from Tazz. Rey speeds things
up after escaping JBL with a flying bulldog. He then
connects with a tilt-a-whirl head scissors and a sunset
flip which leads to near falls. JBL pokes the eyes of
Rey, but the effect doesn’t last long as he suffers
a drop toe hold into the turnbuckle. Rey hits a ‘RVD’
style split legged moonsault from the top rope, but
only manages a two count. JBL gets Rey up for a powerbomb
after Rey mounted him in the corner, but Rey counters
with a hurricarana and a 619. Then…….
EDGE!!!!!!!!!!!
Edge’s groovy music hits, but he
is nowhere to be seen. Suddenly he pops out from the
crowd and spears Rey. JBL regains his bearings and chases
Edge off into the crowd. Replays are shown, but then
Chris Masters makes an appearance. He puts the Masterlock
on Rey for a few seconds, before Smackdown’s hero
comes to the rescue.
Well actually it was Funaki. Anything
to get on the show eh?
Funaki gets tossed to the outside, and
it’s left to Hardcore Holly to chase Masters away.
Cut to commercial as Masters leaves through the crowd.
The show returns in the medical room (again), and Rey
says he wants Edge.
Winner: No Contest
Thoughts….
Typical little guy/big guy match, and
it worked well. A few nice spots, if a little unoriginal.
The ending was good with the Raw involvement, and pushes
Edge and Masters further up the ‘role of importance’.
It will be interesting to see what will happen on next
week’s Raw, which is a good sign. May be a little
far fetched, but maybe Edge and Rey Mysterio will have
some sort of interaction at Taboo Tuesday, seeing as
Edge has nothing to do. That’ll be good for the
Survivor Series build-up.
Bobby Lashley vs. Vito
I’ve never noticed before, but Vito
looks a bit camp. Well ok, it’s more than a bit.
If I were Nunzio, I wouldn’t want him watching
my back…..
Anyway, a clip is shown of the Nunzio
squash from last week. Nunzio is also shown wearing
tape around his ribs, which isn’t surprising seeing
the ass-kicking he took last week. There isn’t
really a lot to say about this match. Again it was kept
very short to hide any shortcomings Lashley might have
at this time. Lashley rips off Tazz late in this match,
and connects with a series of different suplexes. He
then connects with the Dominator for the victory. The
march continues….
Winner: Lashley
Thoughts….
Squash. Again. Lashley continues to look
impressive, but to be honest I’d look impressive
if I was booked like that. He’s being talked up
as being the next breakout star, but I’ll reserve
judgment for a while yet. He certainly has the credentials,
and his amateur background will only benefit him.
As for Vito? Lay off the make-up.
We return in Theodore Long’s office.
Once again, the network guy is there. Palmer explains
the ‘New Talent Initiative’. He uses this
to bring in the ‘Juniors.’ At this point
I laugh my ass off. If I wouldn’t have already
voted for Ric Flair’s blood fest on Raw as Moment
of Insanity, this would win hands down. It was like
watching some crazy freak show. The midgets come in
and dance around. Super Porky was my favourite. He was
eating pork. What genius comes up with this stuff?
Teddy Long says he has ‘to leave
the insanity’. I didn’t
even know he visited this site. I’m sure James
will be happy for the plug on worldwide television.
Teddy leaves, but the Boogeyman stands in the doorway.
He enters the office, and scares the midgets with his
poetry. One of the midgets jumps into Teddy’s
arms. Teddy cries. Segment over.
Thoughts….
This was messed up. Like really messed
up. How many more people do the WWE want to alienate?
I suspect Vince has a huge list somewhere and he’s
ticking them off one by one. Who’s next? Answers
on a postcard.
The show returns from another commercial,
with Steve Romero backstage with Sylvan. Sylvan says
he doesn’t care about the Raw invasion, he only
cares about himself. This prompts Hardcore Holly to
come along and beat him up. Why? Because it’s
a hardcore match, that’s why.
They fight throughout the arena, into
the ladies room in which we see Stacy Kiebler and Christy
Hemme wearing very little (what are the odds?), and
then into a lift where we cut to a commercial. That
was so cheesy. The lift shut and the show cut away.
That was extra cheese.
Bob Holly vs Sylvain
The show returns at the concession stand,
and the two continue to brawl down a flight of stairs
in the arena. Holly gets the upper hand, and shoves
Sylvan over a balcony onto a steel case and then onto
the concrete floor. Holly continues to dominate, as
he proceeds to beat Sylvan up with a stick. Holly beats
him harder and Sylvan looks ready to shoot his load.
We get the usual trash-can/lid stuff we get in a hardcore
match. Forgive me if I don’t sound impressed,
but I got sick of the trash can stuff back in 1997.
Sylvan recovers from his beating, and brings a table
into the ring, only to suffer an Alabama slam through
it. Holly pins Sylvan for the win.
Thoughts….
It was actually quite refreshing to see
one of these matches for a change. The WWE went through
that whole period when they buried the concept of hardcore
matches but now it looks like they are over that. These
matches are much better when they are limited to only
being used every so often. This was a decent match,
and it freshened up the show. Nothing special , but
I much preferred this for once as opposed to seeing
these two just go at it in a normal match for ten minutes.
I don’t like this Sylvan gimmick though. It’s
pretty much the same as Rob Conway’s gimmick on
Raw, bar the new legend thing they have going on over
there. And even that is a rip off from Randy Orton.
The whole thing pretty much blows. So much for creative
geniuses eh?
We go backstage, and we catch our first
glimpses of Eddie and Batista. Eddie is upset that Rey
got hurt tonight, and he regrets everything he did.
Eddie gives the sob story about how he ‘lost it’
and how he used to be on top of the world. Batista,
being the ‘special’ friend that he is, reminds
Eddie that he has a second chance now. Eddie appears
to be honest in this segment, and this is the first
time that I have begun to buy into this whole ‘new
and improved stuff’. The two leave, and the main
event is next.
The show returns and plugs a fatal four
way for the tag team titles next week. Wooooo!
Batista/Eddie Guerrero vs. Randy
Orton/Mr Kennedy
Orton comes out first, and to Cole and
Tazz’s surprise has no partner. Eddie and Batista
come out, and Tazz suggests that maybe Eddie and Orton
may be on the same page. Interesting, as Tazz has been
the one defending Eddie in recent weeks. Tony Chimel
goes to announce that the match is now a handicap match,
but before he can do so Orton stops him. He announces
Mr Kennedy as his new partner. Kennedy isn’t impressed
when he goes to do his usual mic thing, but the referee
stops him and the match begins. Kennedy and Eddie start
the match off, and early on Kennedy goes for his top-rope
Samoan drop but Eddie counters. The match cuts to commercial
and we return with Batista and Orton. Orton has the
upperhand, but Batista retaliates and throws Orton into
the corner. He connects with several thrusts, and then
hits a suplex. Eddie gets the tag, whilst Orton tags
in Kennedy. There are several quick tags after this,
as Kennedy and Orton look to isolate Eddie. Orton locks
in a headlock, but finally Eddie is able to escape out
of it. They both run towards each other, and clash heads
in the corner. Batista finally gets the hot tag, and
comes in and dominates. Kennedy breaks up a pin after
Batista slams Orton, and then he retrieves a chair from
the outside. Cowboy Bob makes his way to ringside, and
he distracts the referee. In the ring Batista reverses
a RKO and connects with a spinebuster. Kennedy goes
to hit Batista with the chair, but Eddie dives on Batista
to protect him. Kennedy hesitates, but then strikes
Guerrero with the chair anyway, and the referee calls
for the disqualification. Kennedy shouts ‘Who’s
your Papi?’ to Eddie. This guy is gold. All three
men then turn onto Batista, and Orton finally hits a
RKO. Then the big finale…….
Winner: Batista &
Eddie (DQ)
Well it’s Teddy Long. Again at the
end of the show. He announces a 6-man tag for next week,
when the Ortons and Kennedy team up against Batista,
Eddie and……..Roddy Piper! Wow. Not really
and the show fades to black.
Thoughts….
Decent tag match for the main event, and
the ending keeps things boiling over nicely. Eddie looks
to have successfully made the jump back to face, although
how long this lasts remains to be seen. It was a good
move having him ‘sacrifice’ himself, and
it now looks as though he is serious about changing.
It’s nice to see Mr Kennedy feature in these important
matches, and he doesn’t look out of place at all.
Overall….
A decent show again. I didn’t enjoy
it as much as last weeks, but it is still a step in
the right direction. Looks as though they are putting
more effort into the mid-card, which is only a positive
sign. Good stuff.
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