They say that there's something special
in everyone. There's a certain spark in each of us
that makes us appealing to someone else. Your friends,
colleagues, or acquaintances might see this inside
you. You might see it in someone else. For many people
and things, those sparks are obvious. Perhaps a person
has a great sense of humor or a kind heart. It could
be something as simple as a shared memory or bonding
moment. For some, positive traits are easy to see.
However, not all people are like that.
We've all had a friend at some point in our lives
that was great to be around one-on-one, but became
a complete ass in front of people. He may have said
inappropriate things. He might have made people uncomfortable.
He could have just been weird. Whatever his issue,
the bottom line is that his positive characteristics
weren't so blatant to others.
It can be frustrating. Here's you buddy,
someone you've come to respect through the years,
carrying on like first class schmuck in a crowded
setting. Quickly all eyes turn to you as if to ask,
"What's wrong with you that you have to hang
out with this weirdo?" It takes all the effort
in the world not to grab your “friend”
by his goofy shoulders and scream, "Be
normal! You crazy son-of-a-bitch! Be normal! I'm begging
you! Be normal!"
Luckily, you have restraint. So you
don't do that. You put up with the strange glances.
You explain your friendship to outsiders by shrugging
your shoulders and saying, "He's alright, I guess."
You make it through. You grin and bare it.
…for a little while.
Eventually the day comes where enough
is enough. While it’s one thing that your peculiar
pal is confident enough in himself to be open with
his weirdness around new people, he fails to realize
that his actions affect you. The awkward position
that you find yourself in every time you are in a
group setting becomes too much to handle. The final
straw is usually something small. There’s no
warning. There’s no big discussion. One day,
you just get fed up and stop calling. That's how it
works.
You've probably had a friend like this.
Hell, you've probably been a friend like
this. Most of us have played both roles at some point
or another. Either way, it all works. Everyone has
their quirks. Some just have more than others.
So what the hell does this have to do
with wrestling?
Well, wrestling has that spark inside.
It has that something special that all of us, as fans,
can't escape. It could be your love of scientific
grappling. It could be a fond memory of a classic
match or promo. Maybe you were there for one of the
nights that Ric Flair tore the house down in the '80s.
Perhaps Bret Hart put his sunglasses on you when you
were nine years old and seated at ringside. Whatever
it is, it's there. It's why you still watch.
People may not understand your love
of the business, but that's their loss. They're just
being judgmental. They have no basis for their contempt
other than a snobby, holier-than-thou view of what
good entertainment should be.
Well, that's not entirely true. They
have Vince McMahon. You know Vince, don't you? He's
the guy who was responsible for so many of those great
memories and moments that you hold dear and built
your love for wrestling on. If not fully responsible,
he definitely had a hand in shaping many of your sports
entertainment memories. You can’t deny that.
However, Mr. McMahon is also that goofy
friend in a public setting. He's an embarrassment
to be associated with, a nutcase you need to explain
to your friends, and a loose cannon that reinforces
every negative stereotype that this industry has had
since the dawn of television. He cares nothing about
how he's viewed and relishes on the negative attention
that he thinks he attracts. Vinnie Mac doesn't give
a damn what the world thinks of him. He’s his
own man. He’ll put on whatever ridiculous, childish,
unfunny, TV shows he sees fit.
Now look, Mr. M., I’m down with
self-love. I’m glad that you have big ol’
grapefruits and tons of money. That’s awesome.
The problem is that as you jam a plunger onto “JR’s
Ass,“ you forget that you’re not just
representing yourself out there.
You’re representing WWE.
You’re representing wrestling.
You’re representing us.
You know when fans are most proud to
be fans? It’s when they’ve watched a wrestling
show and then said, “Wow. I gotta show this
tape to (insert name here). He doesn’t like
wrestling, but he’d love it.”
I wasn’t feeling that last night.
If anything, I was glad that Mr. (Insert Name) wasn’t
watching at all. In fact, I hoped that none of my
non-fan friends saw that God-awful thing you did last
night. It wasn’t what I watch this business
for. To be completely honest, I’m not even sure
what the hell it was at all. At least the Katie Vick
thing was being done to help sell a World Title Match.
This was done to sell Jim Ross’s bowel surgery.
Oww. My head hurts.
So there you go, Mr. Chairman. Be the
weird friend. Wave your arms in the air. Make a spectacle.
The day’s going to come when we stop calling
you. There won’t be much warning and, in the
end, you’ll have no one to blame but yourself.
***
(JG Note: Last night I made a note to mention the
Hurricane-Triple H carbon copy skit from 2002. When
I went back to do the final edit, I went off on a
Katie Vick tangent and forgot all about it. So I reposted
that edition of the 10/28/02
Raw Insanity here.)
***
